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#every time im actually vibing and getting stuff done it dissolves within weeks at most
jtbb
·
2 years
Text
:3
#my head hurt s obad
#had a full on breakdown over never being able to focus ever
#im so sick of having to like go out of my way to trick my brain into focusing just for short bursts of time
#im so sick of constantly finding and trying new techniques to get my brain to focus
#and they only ever work for like a few weeks at a time or i keep forgetting to use them or they only ever work halfway and ugh
#its so tiring just trying to keep up w my homework and do the bare minimum
#im still like weeks or close to a month behind in all my classes
#which is fine rn cause my teachers dont mind stuff being late but its gonna hit me like a ton of bricks at the end of the year
#IM SO TIRED i just want things to Stay Normal stay the Same forever i swear to god
#every time im actually vibing and getting stuff done it dissolves within weeks at most
#and like i dont entirely hate my hyperfixations like my big dumb torchwood hyperfix late 2020
#was what finally pulled me out of my years-long depressive episode since age 11
#but dear god i wish they didnt completely throw a wrench in whatever system i had in place before them
#and made it literally impossible to focus
#and like that time w torchwood i dealt w it i just listened to the torchwood soundtrack while doing homework
#and it was super good at helping me focus while scratching the hyperfix itch in my brain
#but i cant do any of that this time around!!!
#other than like putting the club 57 instrumental on repeat like a fucking loser and probably annoying myself to death at the same time
#i cant believe this is the biggest problem in my life rn i need to get a grip
#hhh
#ok well
#tmrw will be very warm and sunny <33
#so at least i can go outside and vibe
#and summers coming soon so i can bring my computer out and vibe in the heat and actually focus for once due to no wifi connection lmfao
#worked like a charm last summer
#ill pull thru it inevitably. even if it means getting a B or few
#i just wish it didnt feel so shit
#itll be ok tho
#ily all
#gn little gay people in my phone
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