#eurovision fanficion

[wiktoriatriggvi]

Some aesthetics to amazing fanfiction Deaf Black Cat by Alice Lightwood 🖤🐈‍⬛💚

#esc #eurovision 2023 #finland #käärjä #cha cha cha #fanficion

[my-imagination-and-other-stuff]

Part 6, ending

You would never think that silent, calm breakfast time could turn into real storm. Artem kept rotating spoon in his cup and you kept looking down like it wasn't annoying. He's spent a lot of time in his room, talking by phone but you wasn't able to hear anything.

- He's leaving. Do you know that?

You gulped, knowing very well what he meant. It would be hypocrisy to act that you didn't understand his question but you only looked up at Artem.

- Melovin. He's moving to Kiev.

- Why do you ask me? You finally spoke.

- He's leaving because something happend between you two, right?

- Why do you think it has anything in common with me?- You asked him, putting out your cutlery with anger.

- Because you're silent like you was hiding something. You don't seem surprised.- Artem said. There was something in his gaze that you couldn't describe. Not really anger or sadness. It was tiring to hide that he wasn't that wrong about it but it was so obvious that he never really trusted you.

- Artem, who do you think I am?! I'm so done with your distrust. You always suspected something, didn't you?- You raised your voice and left kitchen.

- Yes because he seemed to be interested in you from the start. The way he fucking looked at you and your weird reactions when I was joining you! I'm not the only one who noticed it! - He screamed, following you to guest room- How long this was happening?- He suddenly asked you so you turned to him.

- How long- what?!

- When did you stabbed me in a back and started this shit?! - Artem yelled and pushed chair next to him. You've never seen him that angry.

- What the hell are you talking about? I've never cheated on you! He admitted that he has thing for me and left.

- Has a thing? A thing? - He hissed - I'm not a fucking idiot. I know him better than myself. He wouldn't leave his hometown just like that. It must be something serious.

- I didn’t know what he felt about me till he explained why he’s leaving. He was scared to ruin your friendship. I was scared too - You started and moved closer to Artem - Please, don't blame him. He didn't know how to hide how he feels. It wasn't easy for any of us.

- And why do you defend him?

- I don't - You murmured, confused- I just don't want to be a reason of you two fighting.

It was like never before. You felt so far from your boyfriend. The way Artem was looking at you, felt like you were strangers.

- Is he only friend to you?

- Artem..

- It's easy question - He sighed, touching his forehead.

- Whatever I feel know, I don't think we can fix what just failed - You said with tears in your eyes - It's not about Mel anymore. I'm sorry but I'm tired of this. I'm not comfortable in this relationship.

It hurted to say such words out loud. Artem looked at you in silence like he couldn't believe what he heard. You looked down, not being able to stand his face expression.

- What is it? You want to break up? - He asked weakly.

- I just think that I want some time alone. We're mess now - You whispered, tearing you wet cheeks.

- Well, let me make it easier. If you for once thought about Kostya the way he thinks about you, let's stop it right now. Because I won't stand it.

These were the last words that day. You wasn't able to answer because of upcoming tears and Artem left flat very quickly.

***

- Did you manage to come on time? - You heard female voice when you answered phone. You joined queue to big hall. It was so sunny and hot outside.

- Yes. Thank you so much for sharing room, Carmen. It would be so hard to find accommodation in good price. There are so many foreigners who booked rooms before Eurovision.

- You helped me once.. And by the way, are you going to talk to him?

- Hmm.. I don't think it's a good idea.

- Hey, you came to Lisbon to watch him performing. You said you promised him to go when he finally wins preselections - Carmen said with enthusiasm.

- It was year ago and we haven't talked since he moved out. Besides, my ex boyfriend can't see me - You sighed.

- I see. Well, have a good time.

You was so nervous when you entered hudge hall with other Eurovision fans, especially when you waited for Melovin's performance at the end of show. You came closer to group of people with ukrainian flag. You clapped with them when Melovin appeard. It happened so fast. Piano, fire, his voice.

- Oh my God, that's was great! - You shouted and when camera turned to your direction, you realised that you was filmed with the rest of fans.

- Melovin! - some man next to you screamed. After next hour, hosts announced results of second semi final. You kept your fingers crossed, looking on a big screen with your heart beating very fast. That time when they announced Ukraine as another finalist, you run to stairs where all contestants started walking down from. But when you came back to your senses, you stepped out and hid behind group of people. Kostya appeard but he couldn't see you. Neither Artem. You turned to exit but you couldn't stop yourself from watching press conference on screen in main hall.

***

- Hello? - You answered phone in the morning, seeing unknown number on screen.

- Hi - This voice sounded familiar.

- Hi..

- Are you by any chance in Lisbon? I would swear that I've seen you yesterday in a crowd from balcony. I think that I saw you in video after my performance.

- Mel..

- I can't leave rehearsals but please, come today to cafeteria on first floor in hall - He said with soft voice but you wasn't able to speak. It was so unexpected that he was able to notice your in such a big crowd and when he meant to be fully focused on his performance.

- Hello? Are you here? - Kostya asked you.

- Yes.

- Please, come - His voice sounded sad and suddenly you thought it would stupid to reject his invitation.

- Okay.. I'll come. What time?

- I'm free in two hours. Twelve o'clock?

You looked at your watch. It was taking almost an hour by train so you probably had to go out right now. Of course you didn't tell Kostya you wasn't exactly in Lisbon so you said you'd come on time. You checked out hours of departures of trains and prepared your clothes pretty fast. It was almost twelve when you caught a bus from station to another station where stadion was placed.

- Where is he? - You whispered with concern when you didn't see Kostya anywhere in cafeteria. You was twenty minutes late. He didn't answer your call and for some reason you panicked.

- I won't answer phone - You heard behind your back and saw Kostya smiling widely - I left phone in wardrobe so nobody can interrupt us.

- Did you come just now?

- Actually, five minutes ago. But I don't like sitting alone when there's a lot of people around so I walked away - He said, smiling even more - You look great.

Your heart was beating so fast that you wasn't able to feel it in your chest.

- You too.

You both sat at the table and ordered coffe.

- What brings you here? I mean.. what are you even doing here?- He laughed sweetly.

- I visited my friend..- You said uncertainly - Are you good with Artem already?

His face expression changed.

- For few months we didn't talk except work stuff - He answered shortly and leaned to you - Don't worry. It's much better now.

- I was worried that he might give up on being your manager. But he's really professional and.. he's your best friend after all.

- He is.. How long has it been? Over a year?

- Yeah - You sighed- It's good to see you but won't your team be looking for you?

- They actually know I'm here with you. Including Artem.

- He's probably angry now, right? - You said, looking down like you was ashamed.

- He's actually fine with this.

- How can he..- You didn't finish, looking in Kostya's eyes. You missed looking in them You missed the way they were resting on you. You finally noticed what Artem meant by Kostya's gaze being different. You could see how he was looking at you with admiration.

- He knows well that you can't gave up on someone just like that - Kostya said silently. You tried to smile to him but at that moment you was too moved by his words.

- I would like to ask you something and get an honest answer - He added after a while when you was looking at each other- Are you really here because you're visiting friend?

- I actually.. My friend lives in different place in Portugal but I used opportunity to come here when you're performing. I wanted to see you on stage. I promised you. But I didn't expect to talk with you..- You said with heavy voice, feeling that your eyes got teary - I'm really proud of you. You did it. You really did it.

You laughed nervously and you felt Kostya's hand on yours. It seemed so natural that he wanted to comfort you. It always been like that. Both of you felt good in your own company, except some tension when you felt mutual attraction while dating someone else.

- I'm so happy that you came - Kostya said, caressing your hand.

- Me too. Even if.. I shouldn't come here - You said and added quickly, seeing his expression: - But I don't care. I missed you, Kostya.

- Do you mean that..- He didn't finish when he saw that you nodded. You both knew what was the hidden question.

- I know that timing was awful for us but what can I do when I already love you so much?- He suddenly said and made you feel shivers all over your body.

- I'm tired of denying what I feel about you but I'll always be ex of your best friend - You said, reaching for his hand.

- What is now is the most important so don't leave again.

- But how can we show up in front of our friends.. and Artem as a couple?

Kostya looked away with thoughtfulness.

- We will work it out - He said - For now stay with me till final.

- Ok - You whispered.

- What? - He asked you like he wanted to be sure what he heard. You smiled.

- Let's work it out.

#melovin #kostya bocharov #melovin fanficion #eurovision fanficion #if we only knew

[my-imagination-and-other-stuff]

Part 5

You crossed hands on your chest. Except a cool wind on your face and tiredness, you felt pressure in your stomach. Kostya was just going down the stairs from a building of a studio. Artem was going to pick him up home at the same time when he was driving you to work. You didn't think it was a good idea after your fight but it would it be ridiculous to avoid Kostya all the time.

-Hi- he said, buttoning his dark coat. He seemed tired after whole night of working. It must have been childish but as soon as you saw Kostya moving to back doors, you changed direction and took a seat next to driver. Boys exchanged few words but there was long silence for next minutes of driving. You looked away when you caught Kostya's gaze in front mirror.

- We should all go out for drink when we're done - Artem suggested when he stopped on parking.

- Who do you mean?- Kostya asked without any enthusiasm in his voice.

- Who else? All of us. Like always.

- I don't think I'll have time - You added quickly - I won't get free day from my boss so- no.

- I meant evening..

- I'm not in mood- You interrupted Artem, trying to hold your anger.

- Okay. Thanks for picking me up - Kostya sighed like he was tired of listening both of you and he opened doors to leave car - Bye.

- Bye..- Artem murmured. You wanted to yell at him but you kept looking at window in silence when he started car again.

- No free day? Really?

- Really - You snarled - Don't suggest some time together when it's so unbearable for you to see me with Melovin.

- It was annoying when you acted like some lovebirds but I want us to be like we were at the beginning.. - Artem stared after some break for contemplation- But now you're acting weird.

The problem was there was no chance for things to be like they were. And now he was blaming you?

- Because you made me feel guilty and now you blame me for feeling uneasy! - You raised your voice - Like I did something wrong. I don't know how to act to not to make you angry.

It wasn't about trying to make Artem feel more important and not giving him reasons to feel jealous. You was fighting with your own feelings but you also felt that your boyfriend only thought about his own. It's been a while since you started to get irritated by more things that he was doing.

- Okay. I might overreact about your friendship with Mel but I was scared that we're growing apart. I'm sorry. - Artem said calmly, seeing your emotional reaction. He stopped a car in front of office and slowly pulled you close. When he hugged you, it suddenly felt even worse. It was like you was a traitor by letting him comfort you after what you've been imagining about Kostya before.

- I gotta go to work. I'll be late - You said and left without goodbye before Artem did something that might make things worse like kissing you.

***

Looking at your phone and sitting. That's all what you was doing at studio. Things were taking too long time so you stood up and grabbed your bag.

- Did you lost your voice today?- You heard Kostya's voice behind your back - You didn't say a word since you're here.

He didn't talk to you till now. He actually ignored you all this time and it was annoying. You hoped things to be like they were before but for some reason you felt upset and it seemed that Kostya did too.

- Why would I talk? I'm not in mood - You said with anger in voice. You looked at doors. Artem was still away. You even didn't know where he went. He just answered phone and left.

- Who the hell he thinks I am? Some middle school kid that he can take to his job anytime he wants? - Your thoughts turned into words. Kostya putted away his notes and looked at you.

- If you hate coming here, who forced you to come?

- Oh, I'm sorry that I offended you with my presence - You snarled. Your expression must have looked quite scary because Kostya's gaze softened.

- What's gotten into you today?- He asked you very calmly what surprised you.

- Nothing. You're right that I shouldn't come here. I don't even know why I wanted to come here earlier.. I'd rather lie in bed whole day - You said, turning to exit but Kostya grabbed your wrist.

- Hey..- He started, waiting till you will look at him. He seemed worried.- What happend? What's bugging you?

- I'm just tired - You cut off - Please, just tell Artem I went home.

He was going to say something to stop you but his editor entered room. You used this opportunity to get away with conversation and leave but you didn't realised how stubborn Kostya was. Few hours later your phone started ringing. You hesitated to answer at first but you knew that he would eventually call you again.

- Hey. How are you feeling?

Kostya's caring voice caught you off guard but it was so pleasant to hear and you couldn't deny it.

- I'm.. fine.

- I'm on my way.

- What?- You almost coughed up - Are you serious?

- Why? What's wrong about it?

- You don't need to come - You said quickly, walking nervously from room to another room.

- But I want to - Kostya said before you foud another excuse - I want to talk with you.

- About what?

- I'm will be in ten minutes. See you.

You cursed when he disconnected. When you heard footsteps, you came to doors. You had no idea why you opened them before Kostya even rang or knocked but it was just impulse. He was clearly surprised, seeing you.

- Hi.. You couldn't wait to see me?

It seemed like he tried to joke but his laugh seemed forced.

- What's going on?- You asked, closing doors behind him and moving to guest room. Kostya stood in front of high table. You didn't sit either.

- When Artem is still not here I wanted to ask you if everything is fine between you and him..- He started and awkwardly looked away when your eyes met with his- Stupid to ask. It's clearly something wrong. He didn't want to tell me but I can see something is off.

- I told you before. He seemed jealous. I was right. He didn't like us being that close. He felt left out.

- So that explains why you're angry lately.. But maybe he has a reasons?

- Bullshit- You said impulsively. What was he implying? It took him a while before he looked at you again and continued.

- I started wondering when Dasha scolded me - He murmured.

- Scolded you?

- She asked me why I was flirting with you and called me dumbass.

Kostya's gaze was blending into you and it was a kind of gaze you've seen when you talked alone in kitchen at his flat. You was as tensed as you was right now. Kostya followed you when you tried to distract yourself and do something in room. When you moved chair, you felt his hand and your arm.

- Why are you acting this way?

- I mean.. Who cares about some slander?- You said and he grabbed your arm when you tried to walk away. - It's not true. She was reading too much into it. This conversation is just pointless..

- But what if I was really doing it?- He interrupted you- What can I do then?

You was trying to understand if you wasn't wrong. He meant that he intentionally wanted you to feel attracted to him.

- Why did you do this? - You asked him with weak voice, feeling scent of his skin close to you. His hands were warm and his eyes were glowing. Before you realised that he moved closer, sudden touch of his lips stopped on your lips. Your heart beated very fast and your fingers clenched on material of his shirt. You didn't kiss him back but you also didn't want to stop him and your hand stopped on his chest. You moved away and took deep breath.

- Stop..

- I'm sorry - You heard his whisper when you turned away.

- It’s crazy- You murmured, nervously fixing your hair.

- You think I don't know it? I just ruined everything but it was driving me crazy- Kostya started talking and moving to your direction- I only wanted to talk to you but I just wanted to kiss you and I would do it again but..

- Kostya, please..

- Let me finish. I never knew it will end up like this but I started to like you more and more - He continued and didnt get discouraged, seeing you shaking your head with disbelief- I thought it's just a short crush and I tried to hide it but I'm not good in such things. That time when I said I chose wrong number, I lied. I stopped myself but you called me back. I started to feel annoyed when I was seeing you with Artem so I tried to avoid you. It's been long time since I had feelings for someone but I don't think I felt this way for anyone before.

- You..

- I think you charmed me right when we met and I felt we're soul mates. I wanted you to know because I can't stand acting that everything is fine. I feel bad because I hate seeing you with Artem.

- Kostya.. You know it's wrong. I don't know what to say - You said, sitting down, avoiding his gaze.- I would never know it will turn into something serious.

- Me too- He sounded sad. For a second you wanted to comfort him. - But you don't need to say anything. I'm going to move out to other city to not to see you. So since now don't be surprised that I'm not around and let’s not contact each other. I don't want to interfere between you two.

- I understand- You murmured.

- I'm sorry for my behaviour- He said after he slowly stood up from chair- I had no right. I'll better go now.

- I can't tell Artem anything- You added, staring at back of shiloutte. He stopped. - I don't want to hurt him.

- Me neither. I hope you both will be fine soon.

He didn't turn to you and left in silence. When doors were closed, you let yourself to release your feelings. You started to cry.

- No. We won't.

#melovin #kostya bocharov #melovin fanficion #fanficion #eurovision fanficion #if we only knew

[my-imagination-and-other-stuff]

Part 4

We ordered the whole vip area to have freedom to fool around. Artem said looking on a road.

Wow. That’s some exclusive thing. You said, trying to sound more enthusiastic. You knew that Kostya was going to come to the club too and you felt nervous because you tried to avoid him for this last month. You were getting close too fast so you decided to keep some distance and you found many excuses to never come to studio with Artem.

I was so tired lately. We all were. I can finally have fun. You heard your boyfriend.

My cute babe. You said and caressed Artem’s cheek. You were doing great lately when you wasn’t getting involved in his work and you two have spent some quality time together. But for some reason you felt insecure when you walked in the neon door and saw big group of people down the hall.

You’re late, dorks. Artem’s friend said seeing you. What happend on the way? He added playfully and the rest of friends started to laugh. Except Kostya who shaked Artem’s hand and sat back on sofa. You wondered if he was still angry after last Vibir he took a part in. His hair was different. Half blond and half black but also shorter. Some of friends stood up to start to sing karaoke song. Dasha sounded good. Obviously, she was Kostya’s backup vocalist. You started talking with the rest of girls and finished first drink pretty quickly. For the first time, you felt shy around everybody, especially when Artem moved microphone to your direction.

Sing it!

No! You said and you covered your face. Artem started screaming lines of song with his pals. Then they turned to Kostya. He sang short part and moved away on his seat. It was strange because he was still wearing sunglasses in this dark place. You heard boys saying something about getting over Vibir to him and you already knew what was a reason of his bad mood. After few minutes or maybe hour you felt very relaxed and when you looked at karaoke screen, you suddenly wanted to sing too. When you stood up, you realise that you more drunk than you thought. You told DJ to start playing background music.

X! What do I see? Artem said, seeing you in front of screen. Everybody was looking at you.

I’ll sing Taylor Swift. You said proudly.

What?

What? You said when music already started. You don’t like? I’ll sing Britney Spears too!

Shake it off, shake it off! You screamed and you probably was too late with following a speed of lyrics on screen but you didn’t care. You even danced to it. Girls joined you, laughing. They hugged you and it made you even happier.

I’m good, right? You said to microphone and you saw Artem clapping and laughing very hard. You went to his direction where he was sitting and started singing, imitating Britney’s voice.

Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know That something wasn't right here

When you turned to right, your eyes met with Kostya’s. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses anymore and he was smiling.

When I'm not with you I lose my mind

Give me a sign Hit me baby one more time

You followed lyrics with girls but even being intoxicated didn’t change this strange feeling when you was singing these lyrics. You turned your back from sofa and continued singing, standing in front of screen. You came back to your seat and then Artem surrounded you by his arm.

I’m a manager. Do yo want me to help you with your singing career?

Shut up. You laughed and patted him. But you know it was good.

Sure. He said and kissed your cheek. Kostya leaned to table and poured Artem more wine.

It was really good song. You said and he looked at you. Wonder. You added.

I agree. It’s just that jury sucks. But it’s not the end of the world. Artem said. Kostya straightened up with a bottle of wine in nonchalant way.

And that’s why I’ll kick their asses someday. He said and winked.

He’s okay. You said and laughed. Bitch Melovin is back! You said loudly and took microphone from a table. Kostya turned to you. So now show us what you’ve got. I’m sure that your songs are on karaoke list.

Who said that I will sing? He asked you and you pointed at yourself.

Me. Because I want to listen to the best song on Vibir.

You moved microphone to his direction and you kept looking at each other. Kostya’s lips flinched like he stopped himself from smiling and you knew you was right because his eyes showed amusement. This fire inside when he was performing on stage. He took your microphone.

Please, play some music to Melovin’s song! Our star will sing now. You shouted to DJ. Kostya looked at you like he wanted to say unbelievable. The rest of friends clapped.

Melovin! Melovin! You joined cheering. He smiled shortly and added with serious tone:

Come on, I don’t need to read lyrics of own song.

He sat back on sofa and started singing Wonder. And damn, he sounded so great.

Yes! I love this voice! You said loudly and laughed. You definetly drank too much. Kostya leaned to you from his place and moved microphone to your face.

No! It’s your showtime! You laughed louder and tried to push him away but he sat next to you.

We wait, I wonder, can we, I wonder

He turned to you, singing chorus. You looked away, feeling his longer gaze on you. Everybody was looking at Kostya so at least they didn’t notice your reaction. You looked at Kostya when he moved his head to other direction. He looked back at you when he already finished his song.

Happy? He asked you, raising his eyebrow.

Yes.

You wasn’t sure how many hours have passed but not so long time later, most of friends started leaving club. You felt sleepy and then Artem told you that barteneder said that they were closing soon. There was again you, Artem and Kostya.

You’re came here by taxi, right? He asked Artem.

Yeah.

Let’s come back by taxi together.

Yeah. No problem. Artem answered. You wasn’t sure if it wasn’t a problem for you. Somewhere in your delusional mind, you thought that Kostya did it intentionally. Just like sitting next to you and singing to you before. Artem went to locker room to take your coats and you found excuse to not to stay with Kostya and you entered toilet. When you looked at yourself in a mirror you felt so cool and probably even if you was wearing a sack, you would feel the most fashionable person at the club. It was so obvious that you drank too much. You came back to corridor. Kostya was already waiting there. It was a strange feeling. He was only leaning against the wall and fixing his leather jacket and he looked so hot. Especially when he noticed you and purple light moved on his face when he turned his head to your direction.

It was so much fun. You said cheerfully.

Don't get too used to this. Kostya said. We don't go that often to clubs.

Geez, this bitch.. You laughed and you suddenly lost your balance, grabbing Kostya’s sleeve. He laughed, exposing his cheekbones. Why did you liked his laugh so much? You moved away and leaned against the wall next to him.

Why are your eyes always so..

So..? Kostya raised his eyebrows. For a second when you was back to your senses, you stopped yourself from saying that his eyes were beautiful. It was dangerous to talk in such state to him but you couldn't stop talking. You kept looking at Kostya.

You can look at them and know that you're a tease. You laughed. He seemed confused at first but he smiled a bit.

I am a tease? Look who's talking.

I shouldn't drink. You murmured, meeting Artem's gaze at the same moment.

What? Kostya asked, not able to hear you in such noise. Artem appeard next to you two and took you by arm.

Let's go.

My head got weaker. It's been long time since I've been drinking. You said, leaning your head on his shoulder.

***

You woke up alone in bed, hearing Artem’s steps in another room.

Artem! You’re up?

Yup. You heard him.

Okay.. you said, confused when he appeard in a room. Do you have hangover too?

Some little headache. He laughed. I’ll make some fizzy drink for it for us both.

Great idea. You said and put your head back on pillow. It didn’t take too long because you heard your phone rining. Before you grabbed it from a table, it stopped. It was very short signal and it was a call from Kostya. Your heart skipped for no ceratin reason. You put your phone away but curiosity didn’t let you to ignore it. So you called him back.

Hey, X. I called you by mistake. Sorry.

That’s what I thought. You said.

How do you feel by the way? Kostya asked you after longer silence.

Could be better..

Can’t get any better. You heard him humming.

What? You laughed.What the hell?

It just reminded me a song.

What song? You insisted with amusement.

My song.

Will you sing me some part? You asked him shyly.

Why would I do that? Kostya asked in his typical, playful style.

Because your voice is so nice You said before you realised it wasn’t the safest answer. But you was honest. You heard his breathe and he started humming a song you never heard before.

Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial. Help me to unravel.

You just imagined his lips close to your ear. His voice was so pleasant that your imagination leaded you to his arms and he was already kissing your neck, moving next kisses to your lips. You moved away your phone and took deep breath. It was so wrong but these were only thoughts.

The rest of song.. Soon. You heard Kostya and you moved your phone to your ear again.

What is it? I’ve never heard it before.

Because you exclusively hear it as the first one.

You gulped and forced yourself to say something.

Wow. What an honour. You murmured.

Who are you talking with? Sudden voice of Artem made you so nervous that you raised your bddy from bed.

Oh, I gotta go. Thanks for calling. You said to earphone and disconnected before Kostya could answer.

It was Mel. He wanted to know if I’m still alive. You told Artem, sounding quite chilled out.

Does he know now?

Yeah.

Good. He said and put your drink on a table. He turned away and left room. You followed him to kitchen. He sat on a chair and even didn’t look at you.

Why are you like this?

Like what? He almost growled. It was obvious that he was angry.

Come on, I see you’re angry. What’s up?

Artem looked at you with grimace. His dark, doe eyes lacked its old spark.

Why did you hang out so fast?

Because you came in. You said with heavy voice and you fixed your hair in nervous way. It wasn’t the best answer. I actually sounded very suspicious so you tried to explain it and you started talking quite fast.

I thought that you wanted to talk with me and it wasn’t that important conversation.. You said and sat in front of him, waiting till he will look at you. Artem, you’re reading too much into it. You’re making me awkward like I did something wrong.

But deep down you felt you was doing everything wrong.

Am I? Artem said and moved from his seat to stop in front of window. Maybe you're dating a wrong guy.

You stood up with shocked face.

What are you even talking about? You asked with weak voice.

You really don't see what's going on?! You don’t see it? Artem raised his voice, turning to your direction.

I felt that it can be annoying to you but why would it bother you? He's your best friend.

I just don't like that you're so comfortable with each other, ok? Artem said after a short pause like he was wandering if he should say about his worries. You're not even like this with me. It's getting awkward.

I'm sorry. You said and grabbed his hand. I didn't mean to make you feel this way. I won't be meeting him as often as before if it's gonna make you more comfortable.

Like it could change anything..

He moved away from you and took his laptop from table. Then he wore his coat and boots and walked to the door.

Where are you going? You asked him but the only answer was a sound of closed doors. You was close to crying. It felt so awful because deep down you knew that Artem was right. There was something going on. You started to feel sexual tension everytime when you was close to Kostya. It was even more embarrassing because you was dating somebody else and these feelings were one sided. But at least you finally admitted to yourself these feelings. You thought that Kostya was a cool guy and you wanted him so badly. You clearly wanted to have sex with him so it was only physical attraction and you decided to avoid him and wait till this temporary fascination will fade away.

#melovin #kostya bocharov #melovin fanficion #eurovision fanficion #angst #If we just knew