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niskoo · 3 years

Text

[02:00]

pairing: lee heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff, ....hurt comfort? idk

warnings: poor descriptions of a panic attack because i completely forgot what its like

word count: 1.3k words

a/n: hi hi!! this was (a bit late Jfbsjn) a request from @wonvelvet (thank you so much for requesting!! i love your writing <33) ALSO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFF BUT IDK HOW IT TURNED INTO THIS HAHA IM SORRY IT MIGHT BE RUSHED </333

networks: @enhypennetwork

For your whole life, numbers and brains defined you. At least, you thought it did. That’s just how your parents raised you, around exams and exams and education. Never have they at least considered your feelings. And neither did you.

Until you got to college and met the boy who accidentally spilled paint on your shoes, the boy who felt bad and quickly apologized, the boy who promised to exchange them for something. You thought it was simply silly, how could be so worked up over a pair of sneakers?

And as he took you out for a small treat ar a bakery, for the first time in your life, he asked for what you wanted. You furrowed your brows at this, claiming it was just pastries and he could pick anything out.

And as you took a bite in the donut, you observed as the boy’s expressions changed as he smiled in what seemed like pure bliss. You asked him why he was so happy, but you really didn’t expect for him to make a whole speech of why donuts bring the heavens down to earth.

You felt something there, you wanted to smile at his small presentation, you wanted to join in and ramble nonsense about a pastry.

Lee Heeseung brought colors to your life. Not long after the first bakery date, he asked you on a real one, where he would dress up and actually pick you up and all that jazz.

And now here you are, a year later, staying in the same apartment.

It was crazy, how he actually brought feeling into your life, when you were completely unaware of how much more you could enjoy life, instead of looking at numbers and meaningless information you probably wouldn’t use in the future.

Most of your experience with your boyfriend was happy. Most.

Now wasn’t one of those times.

Now was one of those rare times where you would find numbers and worksheets so difficult, where you would struggle and want to give up.

It was simply too much. Too many assignments, exams, projects, too much work.

You stare blankly at the open document in front of you, fingers hovering over the keyboard, grazing over the keys. You’ve been at it for hours now, typing potential pieces, before deleting it after realizing how ridiculous it sounded. You’ve never had such a hard time doing an assignment.

The white screen of your laptop practically glares at you, the two paragraphs of nonsense screaming how pathetic and useless you were.

You grunt, and quickly shut your computer down, slamming it shut. There’s a migraine grazing your mind, tired of staring into a bright screen for too long.

You trudge lazily onto the bed, patting the sheets, before plopping in next to your boyfriend with a groan.

Heeseung instantly wakes up at the dip of the bed, turning around to greet you. “Hey, you done with the report?” You stick your head back up from the pillow, shaking your head with a deep frown. Heeseung chuckles lightly at your response, nodding, before pulling you closer to him and under the blanket. “It’s okay, you can finish it later.”

You find yourself instantly dozing off in Heeseung’s embrace, sighing in bliss, before nuzzling your face into his neck, humming in agreement.

You don’t think about the unfinished document sitting on the study table, only about your boyfriend’s featherlight touch and light kisses on your hairline.

Though, a few hours after sleeping, you do find yourself suddenly awake, a deep heavy feeling in your chest. You sit up from Heeseung’s hold, eyes instantly trailing to your laptop on the study table. A sudden feeling of nausea and anxiety floods your body when you realize you had not even done half of your report.

Feeling overwhelmed, you crawl out of bed, hands shaking and footsteps slow as you approach your laptop. Your breaths soon grow shaky as well, as you open your computer and see all the reminders of all the assignments and exams you have yet to come.

Your eyes burn as you read through the list, the anxiousness spreading throughout your body in an overwhelmingly fast pace, thoughts of how you’re gonna fail clouding your mind. You step away from your laptop, stepping back, hands finding themselves shaking and holding onto the back of your head.

You’ve only had a panic attack around 2 times in your life, and every time you force yourself to focus on your breathing, just like father had said, but now all thats hazing and filling your mind is how much things you have undone, how much of a failure you are, how weak you can be.

Soon, soft sobs the air, tears smearing your face messily as you shut your eyes and focus on your thoughts, and your thoughts only.

You’re a failure. You can’t get anything done. You have so much to do. Why are you so weak? Why can’t you fulfill mother and father’s expectations? Why do you have to be so pathetic?

You don’t realize your boyfriend quickly getting out of bed at the sound of your sobs, rushing to hold your hands in his as he kneels in front of you.

“Hey, hey,” he mumbles, placing a hand on your cheek. You jolt at the touch, finally realizing Heeseung in front of you, a worried expression twisting his face. “What’s wrong, baby?”

You try to focus on his question.

Why are you worked up?

Your eyes trail to your open laptop on the table, blinking at the brightness. And then, you remember.

Quickly, you suck in a sob, attempting to stand up and walk to your laptop to finish everything, but a soft grab at your hand tugs you back gently, causing you to bump into Heeseung’s chest.

“Hey, no no, look at me. Y/n, please look at me.” Your blurry vision turns to him, his gaze, glazing with pure worry. You try to blink your tears away, only to have them fall down your cheeks. Heeseung instantly reaches up to brush them away with his thumb, caressing your cheek dearly. “You’re okay now, I promise. You’re with me.”

Heeseung, the boy who makes noodles for you when you stay up to do an assignment, the person who makes sure you get enough sleep, the first person who comforts you, the only person who cared for your feelings. Your breaths finally steady, mind focusing only on Heeseung, his soft gaze, furrowed eyebrows, gentle voice, even gentler touch, god how you would end up dead without him.

“You’re okay, everything is fine.”

Your eyes seem to long for something more than that from him, blinking up with a certain gloss that tugs on his heartstrings. As if to read your mind, your eyes, Heeseung tugs you closer to him, hands now caging your cheeks in his palms.

Heeseung takes your hands in his once more, sticking your palm out in front of him. He presses his own large palms against yours, aligning your fingers together. Your heart softens, softly linking your fingers together softly. His hands felt warm, comforting, as if to reassure you that he’s there for you, that he validates you and cares for you.

“You’re doing so well, I’m so proud of you. Can you tell me what’s wrong now, baby?”

You tell him what’s wrong, you tell him of your never ending stress of that week, sniffling softly every time you remember all your unfinished works. He reassures you that your own mental health matters much more, reassures you that you’re not pathetic, or weak, or a failure, but it’s human to not be able to handle so much.

Lee Heeseung, who painted your shoes and your life, who brought you pure happiness and comfort, you don’t think you could ever live a proper life without him.

A week later, 2 of your essays have an extended due date, you actually pass your exams, and best of all, you’re at a bakery, eating and talking nonsense about donuts bringing heaven down to earth with the only person who ever made you feel validated.

#enhypennetwork #lee heeseung #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung scenarios #lee heeseung blurbs #lee heeseung drabbles #lee heeseung angst #enhypen #enhypen imgaines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen blurbs #enhypen drabbles #enhypen angst

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svtskisses · 3 years

Text

can't fight this feeling

pairing: jake x reader

genre: based off of can't fight this feeling by REO speedwagon, best friends to lovers, angst, fluff

words: 822

warning: break up, swearing

“(Y/N), It’s okay, alright? It’ll be okay, Just get up on the couch for me.” Jake finally said, shifting his position so he was propped up on one of his knees, getting ready to support your weight. You looked up at him, your hair in your face and your eyes still ripe with tears. You grabbed his hand and shakily stood up as he led you onto the couch, before falling straight back into his embrace. It felt like your whole world was crashing down on you. Jake held you tight, even tighter than before. He brought his hand down to softly land on your back and rub circles to calm you down. Quiet vibrations of the hum of a song fell from his lips. Seeing you so broken and sad like this was killing Jake, he was barely holding back his tears. But he knew that you couldn’t handle seeing him cry, knowing you were the reason for his tears, so kept them inside, while he held you gently. You hid your face in Jake’s chest and let yourself cry, while your fingers played with the fabric of his shirt, trying to distract yourself.

After a few minutes, you calmed down a little bit. You were still crying but weren’t nearly as hysterical as before.

“Are you ready to tell me what happened now? Or do you not want to talk about it at all?” Jake whispered softly into your ear, still having his hand rest comfortably on your back. You pulled yourself away from him and sat up, bringing your hand up to rub your eyes as you nodded your head.

“He, um, broke up with me because he was seeing another girl and he… chose her over me, obviously.” You said, feeling the tears starting to pour out faster. You heard Jake curse under his breath, and saw him tighten his fists. But once he looked over and saw your disheveled state again, it knocked him out of his rage.

“He’s such a douchebag. I don’t know who wouldn’t choose you, (Y/N), you’re so beautiful and smart and funny and generous and perfect.” He said, putting emphasis on each word.

“Do you really mean that?” You whispered. He froze again, but you were looking directly at him this time. Peering into his warm brown eyes that were a contrast to your messy and wet ones. There was hesitation in his eyes, something like you had never seen before. It felt like he was fighting something on the inside.

“(Y/N), I have feelings for you.” Out of all the things you expected him to say, it wasn’t that. “God this is a horrible time to tell you, but I love you, I always have and I couldn’t stand seeing you like this, or even with your asshole boyfriend.” He paused, and before he got the chance to say anything more, you crashed onto him, giving him a comfortable hug. You didn’t know how long he had felt this way, but you have had feelings for him for ages. And suddenly, it was coming true. You pulled away from the hug to face him again.

“Jake, if I knew you were going to confess to me when he dumped me, I would’ve ended things with him much much earlier.” You said as his mouth turned up into a shy smirk. “The point is,” You started, “I love you too.” Jake felt his breath hitch in his throat. He had waited years to hear you say those words. It had taken a while to figure out that he was feeling love for you. The smile that crept onto his face whenever he heard your name, or how safe he felt around you was much more than friendship. He had never lost his direction, he had always loved you. And you loved him back.

#jake sim #sim jaehyun #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen reactions #enha #enha scenarios #enha imgaines #enha reactions #mine

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