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adridoesstuff · 1 year

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Rant/Roast/Personal thoughts on the 2022 Schönbrunn concert version of Elisabeth das musical

So, inspired by the insightful video on this topic by fellow content creator @fitzrove , I decided to write down all my impulsive thoughts while watching this production, since Fitz's video will probably be the only bearable way I will watch the concert version.

Disclaimer: any criticism in the following list isn't meant as a direct criticism of the actors, they are just on that stage doing their job. But this is mainly a criticism of the creative team behind the production (i.e. director, choreographer, designers, casting directors...etc.), who are the main driving force and reason behind how a show looks and feels.

Disclaimer no. 2: The following text contains swearing. A LOT OF IT. And a lot of capslock. This production brought forth the worst in me while writing this and I wrote this at 4 am in the morning, so, you have been warned.

• Already hating the picture frame set and we didn't even begin

• The choreography for Prolog is already abysmal

• Why are we going off on the pyros? We didn't even get through the Prolog

• Whatever they have the Todesengel doing on the frame is dumb

• THE CROTCH CAM. Who's idea was it, because that is literally the worst angle they could have chosen

• Abla is so cute, but they did her so dirty with that dress and they didn't even try when doing her wig's hairline

• I miss Max wearing hunting clothes :( because where the hell is he going dressed like that?

• Why did they omit the line about Sisi wanting to join the circus if she weren't a princess? (Is it because of that damned swing?)

• Why did they decide to make a 3 year gap between Wie Du and Schön euch alles zu sehen? Because that makes Sisi 10/11 or younger during Wie Du, which just seems like an unnecessary change

• The amount of skirt hiking I see here is already exceeding my limits and we're not even 15 minutes in

• No costumes for the ensemble? I thought this was supposed to be the SPECTACULAR new version

• THE DREADED SWING. And it's even dumber than I expected

• I could already see Mark creeping in the background, so talk about an anticlimactic reveal

• And the inclusion of KKOG, my beloathed.

• The entire staging of KKOG here makes zero sense

• Mark, please get off that fucking swing. I don't care that you can take a seat on it from behind, just get off

• Also, why is Mark in white? Literally, why? When they kept in the lyric "Ich erkenn dich, schwartzer Prinz"? It makes no sense

• Ok, Lucheni on the swing is cute and understandable

• Andre was a good Franz back in the 1st revival, but at this point, he's too old to play a younger Franz in Act 1. If you're gonna split cast Elisabeth, do a split cast for Franz as well.

• And this gets only more apparent with Sophie, since the actress playing her looks about the same age as Andre. They literally look more like a husband and wife than mother and son

• Sophie's dress isn't bad per se, it is just very bland

• The male ensemble got some truly hideous coats for Jedem gibt er das seine

• Why are we skipping over the historical goodies of this scene? Literally, those were the whole point there

• PROLONGED HAND SHOT

• The costume department seems to have bulk bought that chunky gold trim and just said fuck it and put in on everyone's coat

• Abla stealing the conductor's wand and trying to conduct is so cute

• Her dress? Not so much. Very bland

• Literally, why are they cutting so much of the book? And especially Lucheni's lines in the middle of So wie man plant und denkt?

• The age difference is even worse now, that Abla and Andre are standing side by side (not looking forward to Nichts ist schwer)

• I miss Lucheni messing with Helene and Sophie :(

• I didn't think I'd like David Jakobs as Lucheni, but he and Abla are the only saving graces on that stage thus far

• Imagine what David could do with good staging and direction a la 1st revival and a complete book

• I even dare say that he could pull off being a Der Tod in the vein of Martin Markert, because he does have that chaotic "came here to fuck around" energy

• Yep, Andre and Abla look more like father and daughter together than a freshly engaged couple

• Okay, Lucheni holding the box with the necklace while giving the most dead pan face straight into the camera is honestly funny

• That necklace doesn't look the least bit heavy. It's literally just felt with some rhinestones

• They literally couldn't even give Abla's wig some forehead curls to mask that god-awful hairline? And they couldn't even curl it properly?

• Was the budget so tight that they couldn't even give the ensemble ladies ONE DECENT COSTUME?

• And they couldn't even iron or at least steam the wrinkles out of that wedding dress? And yes, I don't like it in all it's polyester glory

• The decision to have Mark's legs framed in the shot between Abla and Andre is a CHOICE

• Also, it doesn't look like Mark will change into the black costume anytime soon. Or at all for that matter. So much for the angels being in black

• Talk about "spectacular concert production". Yeah, spectacular that over half the costumes that should be here aren't even present and the set is amateurish at best

• And did Mark literally only stand there to do that evil laugh and then leave? Couldn't he have done that somewhere else?

• Oh, god, did I already mention that the choreography is bad. I can literally do better in my room at 3 am and I am an utter klutz

• I can't even make an argument for the exaggerated whisper motions being camp, because that clearly wasn't what they were going for

• Those colored gloves on the ensemble ladies are so fugly

• Also, the choice to have Elisabeth present while the entire nobility talks shit about her is a MASSIVE CHOICE

• Did Mark have in his contract that he must appear for a certain amount of time on stage? Because why is he standing there in the background?

• MARK, STOP CLIMBING UP THERE

• Okay, him telepathically controlling Elisabeth like a puppet could be an interesting idea anywhere but in a post 2012 production, where in their last scene together he told her "instead of ruling over you, I will be loved". Just makes Der Tod look like an ass

• WHY ISN'T THE ENSEMBLE FROZEN? WHY ISN'T ANYONE FROZEN FOR THAT MATTER?

• Manhandling your love interest is not the way to go unless you're Maté!Tod, who is essentally a giant cat in a human body. It's understandable then, because it does go along with the characterization there, but not HERE

• That was literally the unsexiest hip thrust ever

• Did Abla and Andre literally just flee the scene so that Mark could have his lead man big number finale moment for himself?

• I don't know how I didn't mention this already but MARK, TUCK YOUR GODDAMN SHIRT IN

• Did they literally cut the entirety of Die Gaffer?

• But when I think about it, it's probably better not hearing about the onsetting wedding night in this casting situation

• But they are doing David dirty by cutting so many of his lines

• And they literally cut the entire first verse of Eine Keiserin muss glänzen. Like, what's the rush, besties? You don't have a train to catch

• That change over between Abla and Maya was interesting, but I still am very much against the split track and plus the place they did it makes zero sense

• Did they hire the shittiest wig makers in Vienna for this? Because Maya also didn't get a wig with a decent hairline

• And they couldn't make the puffed sleeves on the nightgowns any less awkwardly short, could they?

• But Maya and Abla both slayed the vocals

• WHY DID THEY CUT STATIONEN EINE EHE??????!!!!

• If someone were to see this show for the first time here, they must be so fucking confused

• And if they want to excuse that by "oh, we're making it more understandable for a mass audience" BULLSHIT, YOU'RE NOT! You're making it LESS understandable by cutting all the context

• Also, the atillas look hideous. What did they make them out of???? Felt????

• Death now provides coffins for your dead kids! Also, for that coffin to have a 3 year old kid inside, it's kind of small

• That dress Maya got for this scene is so bad and just makes her look frumpy

• Yes, because nothing impresses your lady love like you doing a super manly power stance over her freshly deceased kid's coffin

• Homeboy, you didn't "float in a dance". You first telepathically controlled her movements, then were walking around all broody before you started manhandling her in the roughest way possible

• And yes, nothing calms down your beloved so much like wrapping her up in a coffin cover

• Maya looks so confused and yeah, girl, same

• Didn't they literally have anyone else but Andre available to carry the coffin away? What about the Todesengel? Is their only job climbing onto that frame and slowly spreading a wing each?

• Also, where is Mark walking to?

• DAVID IS BACK <3

• If they dare cut a big chunk of Fröhliche Apokalypse, I will scream

• Did they literally tell the male emsemble to bring their own beige trenchcoat to the job? Because it sure does look like they did

• They cut the second verse of Fröhliche Apokalypse...at this point, I don't even have the energy to complain about that

• At least they kept Lucheni's café apron, but it is kind of out of place since they have no set change to make it look like a café

• The amount of side-eye little Rudolf gives is honestly so funny

• Maya looks rightfully outraged at this production, but at least for once, she gets a costume that isn't outright bad (at least that robe looks decent, because that silky orange-y thing peeking out from under it doesn't

• Okay, that almost kiss was too close for this only being Act 1

• I would have liked it better if maybe Mark just remained sitting absolutely stunned for a moment longer than him immediately standing up after Maya pulls away

• I would have liked more smashing the Milchkannen onto the stage but I'm happy to see David back

• Why are they pouring the milk into mugs if it's meant to be for a goddamned bath? Filling an entire bathtub mug by mug seems kind of counterproductive

• OF COURSE THEY CUT A VERSE OUT OF THE SONG

• The cardboard cover for the frame is such a bad solution here. It literally could have been solved by different blocking and lighting but they did the laziest thing they could

• I feel like too much of the volume of the skirt of the Star dress migrated onto the sleeves. And what happened to making the Star dress looking soft and ethereal? Ever since 2012, the European versions just keep on getting stiffer

• At least the wig looks alright. It isn't the best, but it is, an improvement from that previous one

• They had multiple instances, where I feel a side entrance for Mark would benefit his presence. But this is the only time I feel like the top center entrance would be good, but they manage to screw it up once again and have him come on stage from god knows where only for him having to awkwardly time when to take the stairs to get the high ground while trying not to bump into Maya

• WE'RE ONLY AT THE END OF ACT 1???!!!

• Lucheni strutting through the audience with a hand held mic is honestly a mood, although I don't like the plastic toy crown they gave him

• Also, no Kitsch bedazzled jacket? :(

• And him not actually getting prop souvenirs, but the pictures being shown on the LCD screens seems like a massive cop out

• In short: they are doing David dirty with this staging

• The ensemble with their flags are just so unenthusiastic

• Okay, the carriage is a nice idea and Maya finally got a decent dress!

• But why is she already here? We're literally in the middle of Kitsch. Don't tell me they cut Éljen

• David is slaying, ngl and I would have liked to see more shots of him during Kitch rather than literally everyone else around

• Like, this is his big number, let him have his moment!

• Of course they cut Éljen

• And Mark still hasn't changed costumes, so I guess he's doing the entire show in the white version

• What are the ensemble ladies doing there during Wenn ich tanzen will? They are literally just there to block Maya from twirling in her dress

• Okay, Maya stealing one of their Hungarian flags is nice

• And we have a return of Der Tod telepathically controlling Elisabeth's movements and it's even worse than in Act 1

• I'm sorry, but where is all the spice this song is supposed to have? Maya and Mark literally have so little chemistry as Elisabeth and Der Tod due to this horrid staging

• Why is the lighting so severely purple and blue?

• I miss them flying at one another for that final chorus and pushing one another to the other end of the stage

• The camera operator must really like Mark's legs, because they make a comeback!

• They gave little Rudolf the blandest blocking

• But Der Tod taking Rudolf onto his shoulders is kind of cute

• Wait, I liked that blocking for once! Where are you going, Mark?

• Little Rudolf could literally not give less shits about Der Tod here

• Why did we cut the interlude and Lucheni's introduction to the insane asylum?

• Maya's dress has some nicely pleated cuffs, but that duochrome fabric looks so wrinkly. And her hat literally doesn't match her dress at all

• Okay, what is this weird newly added dance sequence and music interlude? Did they literally cut all the above mentioned songs for this??? It doesn't even sound like it belongs in this show

• That was the lengthiest and most confusing and unnecessary sequence ever

• Why did they light this scene in BRIGHT ULTRAMARINE when the only person on stage is Maya and she's wearing a RED/ORANGE/BROWN DRESS? It just washes her out

• And I forgot to mention that they couldn't have picked a more dull and unflattering brown shade for both Abla's and Maya's wig

• Why did they keep the mad woman there in the middle of the frame for the entirety of Nichts nichts gar nichts?

• DAVID IS BACK <3

• At least Sophie got a costume change and I like it much better than her Act 1 dress

• The return of those ugly out of period men's ensemble jackets :(

• They cut the middle of Wir oder sie. WHY ARE THEY CUTTING ALL THE HISTORICAL REFERENCES??????!!!!

• That was the most awkward transition in between songs ever done

• The female ensemble finally got some form of costume!

• And Frau Wolf is SLAYING

• Why did they cut the first verse of Nur kein genieren? And at this point I am convinced that someone has a last train home to catch and cutting down on the ensemble numbers was the only way for them to make it

• But, I like that we do get chemistry between Lucheni and Frau Wolf and that they got to split the lines in that one verse they kept in

• That fall down the stairs looked like it did take a while to practice

• And with it comes a costume I utterly hate: that goddamn lilac robe with the black lace chevrons Elisabeth wears for Maladie

• They literally couldn't have made that cape Mark wears here any less awkward in the amount of gaping it has in the front?

• Which is made even more awkward by him being in white

• If everyone remembers that gif set of Mark not catching the necklace at the end of Maladie during the 2nd revival: I think that is the reason why they kept him at ground level here

• And he does catch it, but that was literally so devoid of climax

• Sophie gets a nice bonnet/cape combo for Bellaria!

• Background framed power stance, but this time, they at least added some flavor with some contra lights

• At back to cutting more of the book for Rastlose Jahre!

• We finally got to Shatten!

• And Rudolf is a little too tidily dressed for my liking

• Oh, here comes the fishing rod/cat toy!!!

• Why are they sitting not looking at one another?

• Also, why are they literally 5 feet apart? As far as I remember, COVID wasn't that rampant in summer of 2022

• Matching one leg up on a stair poses

• The homophobia of not having the slightest bit of physical interaction between Der Tod and Rudolf

• But either way, I love Lukas as Rudolf. Still great 19 years later

• NO DON'T YOU DARE PICK UP THAT FISHING ROD/WHIP/CAT TOY

• Screaming at each other across the stage just like a couple of guys being dudes

• BEHOLD, CAT BOY RUDOLF. When the fandom said that Rudolf is our poor little meow-meow, we didn't mean this!

• You can tell from both Lukas and Mark's faces, that they also think this is ridiculous

• Why did they cut out so many of the feel good historical bits, but not Hass????? That is literally the only song I would prefer they skip here??????

• Lukas is so good in Spiegel (thanks for the feels!! Finally some good content from this performance!!!)

• And even though I dislike Rudolfs being dressed in Austrian style uniforms, Lukas has an especially nicely tailored one

• Lukas going to the ground to beg Maya????? My heart can't take the feels????

• MARK, STOP CREEPING IN THE BACKGROUND

• Oh, dear, the dreaded no-homo version of Mayerling

• And why did they choose to keep Maya on stage? During this scene? Why?

• Okay, the choreo is dumb again

• WHY DON'T WE GET THE TODOLF KISS ANYMORE VBW?????!!!!!

• AND WHY DID MARK NEVER GET TO WEAR THE MAYERLING DRESSES????

• Maya cradling Lukas's jacket during Totenklage is touching tho

To summarize: I wouldn't pay the insane prices for a ticket to this production for the amount of bad scenic solutions, lack of costumes and some truly abysmal directing choices.

#elisabeth das musical #elisabeth schonbrunn 2022 #rant #take everything written here with a grain of salt #but I think that by this you can tell my dislike for this version #already dreading the 2023 edition of the concert

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