#electro women have a special place in my heart

[atsumou]

CLORINDE AND SETHOS DRIP MARKETING!!!

#‧₊˚ 𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. lunar letters #i need her omg #electro women have a special place in my heart #not familiar w sethos yet but hes so cute 😭 #clorinde #sethos #genshin impact

[theshelbyclan]

Defiance

Summary: When your brothers went off to war, you couldn’t just sit and wait for them: you had to work, so as nurse Shelby, you started nursing in London

(Gif by @nofckingfighting​)

A/N: Anon requested: Hello, I saw that you write Shelby sister imagines? Is it ok for you to do me one please? I always imagine her being the same age as John and very close to Tommy. I was thinking along the lines of when the boys go to war she goes to a hospital in London dealing with soliders who need rehabilitation and help with PTSD. She doesn't come home until a year after the boys? Here's they are in trouble with Campbell and Billy Kimber Obviously take it wherever you like to I'm happy for whatever x I’m making this a two-part story, to be able to combine two different requests that had a lot of similarities. I’m using your request for the first part, and let me just say, this is such a beautiful idea that it deserves to be a film on its own. Hope I did it justice! :) Part 2 is Acceptance 

Warning: mentions of death, war and suicide.

Words: 3107

***

“I will not,” defiantly you stood in front of your superior, arms crossed in front of you and a rebellious scowl on your face. “Excuse me?” the head nurse turned around to face you, “This again, nurse Shelby?”

For a moment, you faltered. Going against a senior nurse was something that wasn’t tolerated, at all. And with good reason! The hospital wouldn’t be able to function properly. During the war, it’d been constant chaos, with men coming in and going out constantly. Dying was often a blessing, and there had been so much, so much death. But the war was over and still the men kept on coming.

“I’m not trying to rebel, nurse Miller,” you said, more meekly this time, “I just don’t see how this is going to help any of them.” “Doctor says it works,” nurse Miller replied matter-of-factly. “But does it?” some fire was coming back into you, “They are able to talk and walk again, sure, but that’s not the same as recovery, is it? The problem is not of a physical nature, it’s a mental struggle these men face.” The head nurse looked up from her work and turned fully towards you now, “Remember your place, nurse Shelby. Do as you’re told. Go on, off with you.” “What research has really been done concerning these…” you waved your hand in an annoyed manner, “methodsthat the doctors employ these days!” Thoroughly irritated now, nurse Miller dropped her work and one look told you all you needed to know: you were in trouble. Again. And so you were back to scrubbing bedpans yet again. All nurses were required to do this work and the long days without much sleep had hardened you all to the blood and filth. Still, some nurses were given this job more than others. Especially the nurses who couldn’t control their mouths around their superiors. Silently, you cursed your Shelby spirit.

But then your mind drifted off to the subject you had been discussing with nurse Miller and your blood began to boil again. ‘The soldier’s heart’, that’s what they used to called it. These were the men who could never sit still, felt anxious all the time and were constantly on edge. It had been considered a ‘normal’ condition for decennia, but it had taken on the form of an epidemic after the Great War. Brave men could no longer function and the severe psychological trauma haunted most of them still, even though the war had been over for several months now! ‘Shell-shock’ was now the popular term and doctors everywhere tried to fix the physical symptoms of the condition. You simply couldn’t fathom how none of them seemed to acknowledge that these were just symptoms: the real problem had taken root in the brain or the heart, maybe even in the soul.

“What did you do this time?” Daisy, or nurse Wells as was the proper term, asked you, when she saw you sitting on your knees in front of piles and piles of bedpans. You looked up and grinned sheepishly, “I disagreed with nurse Miller.” 

“Again.” “Again,” you admitted contritely. Daisy put down the towels she had taken in for washing, “If you’re going to disagree with anyone, choose someone less uptight! Might save your knees.” A small smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. Daisy was the perfect nurse: she could function on two hours of sleep a night, see the most horrific stuff and still work on tirelessly, while aiming to make the others smile. Where you’d be without Daisy you didn’t even dare think about. “Alright,” she sighed good-naturedly, “Tell me. What did you argue this time? And tell me you’re sorry afterwards, just to practise!” Full of anger, you threw down the brush, “Electro-shock therapy doesn’t fucking help anyone! These men went to hell and back and now their brains are protesting against all the horrors they witnessed. Their minds are revolting, as they should be! The only thing ever accomplished by shocking the men into talking again or walking again is that you’ve taken away their last manner of protesting against inhumane practises. Bravo! You’ve made them into full human bombshells now, without a peep of opposition. How in the fuck is that even medically sound!?” Daisy waited a moment, “So you’re not actually sorry.” “Fuck, no.”

She looked around the door for a second and then whispered, “Fuck.” Your head shot up and you grinned broadly, “Nurse Wells, what did you just say?” “I suddenly felt brave,” she shrugged a little, “thought I might be brave enough to say the F-word, with just you here to hear me.” Full of theatrics you stood up and offered her your hand, “I congratulate you earnestly. You have now crossed a line. Welcome to the fucking party!” Beaming, Daisy tried to scold, “You’re a bad influence on me.” “You should see the rest of the Shelby clan,” and a sudden pang went through you the very moment you had spoken the words. Your friend noticed at once, “Y/N, when are you going back?” “Can’t abandon the men now,” you said briskly, leaving very little room for discussion. Daisy hesitated and finally asked, “They did all come back from France, didn’t they?” “Yes.” “When did you hear?” Scrubbing again, you replied, “I never heard, but I’d know if something had happened to them.” Daisy nodded: she knew you well enough to know your instincts never failed you, even if it got you in trouble. A lot.

***

You were lying in bed and even though the shifts weren’t as long as they’d been during the war, sleep was still scarce. Many of you got five to six hours of sleep now, which had been unimaginable during the war! Still, exhaustion wasn’t unfamiliar to any of you and when the nurses hit their pillows, they often slept at once. Still, you were wide-awake at this very moment. When the war started, it didn’t take long for the boys to sign up. Your brothers went, full of energy and bravery and all women were left grieving at home. Ada kept her mind off it, something you were never good at. You couldn’t bear the thought of all these men dying out at the front, and for what? No one seemed to know. But aunt Polly had really send you over the edge. Every morning she got up to pray and at first you had joined her, but unrest had grown inside of you and praying simply wasn’t enough anymore. So, just like your brothers, you had decided and left for training in London. There was no arguing with you and no one tried.

But nothing could’ve prepared you for the things you’d seen during your time here as a nurse. The broken men, shattered limbs, blood and gore and death were easy enough to get used to. That thought alone made you frown in confusion: what has become of us, that we think that’s the easy part? But the endless streams of young men, hopeful men once, now broken and shattered like the fields of France themselves, that was the hard part. You fed them, nursed them, mended them, talked to them and held their hand if they went. And each and every face changed the moment just before they died: they were all one of your brothers. They were still alive. Aunt Polly had the gift of second sight and even though you weren’t sure what to believe, you had some of it too. Either way, you would’ve known if they were dead. But what were they like now? Because that was the real reason you daren’t go back to Small Heath. What is they were like some of these men, like ghosts trapped in the body of a once healthy human being? You wouldn’t be able to cope.

People always said that twins have a certain connection. You and John had never noticed anything of a special connection, apart from a certain gift for squabbling. But once he was at the front, when the bombs started falling, you could hear his screams in your mind. That’s when the connection had suddenly kicked in and it kept you up and made you tear your hair out for fear. God was cruel like that. “Are you a Shelby or not?” you suddenly whispered strictly to yourself. “Who is this, cowering away in London and fearing what she might see at home? Be a grownup and fucking face your family!” But something just stopped you.

***

For the next couple of weeks, you tried to get back into the swing of things. You worked harder than ever, with your exhaustion as a form of atonement. Daisy was worried and even nurse Miller told you to slow down at some point.

And then you sat next to a bed of a dying soldier. Your shift had finished already, but still you’d refused to leave him. And why? Because he reminded you of Arthur. “Nurse?” he asked feebly. You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts roaming about, “I’m here,” you comforted him. “I can’t see,” he said, “Is that normal?” You took his hand, “I’m right here. Can you feel my hand?” He grabbed it a little tighter, “Yes. You have soft hands.” You smiled warmly at him. He asked again, “Nurse?” “Yes.” “When I get better,” he tried to sit up a little, “Can I maybe take you out some time?” He sure as hell wasn’t the first one to ask, so his request didn’t embarrass or shock you in the slightest. You tried to put on a chipper voice, imitating Daisy, “I don’t know. It depends, I suppose: where would we go?” The wounded soldier smiled, “I can take you to the movies. That’s what the Americans call it, did you know? The movies…” You couldn’t help but smile, “Which film would we go to?” “I’ll take you to that new romantic film, the one with that famous American actor.” “You quite like the Americans, don’t you?” you joked. He smiled again, suddenly revealing how handsome he actually was, “Americans, they have a way with women.” “So do you!” “Does that mean you’ll go with me?”

“When you get better, we’ll go to the movies,” you confirmed. But he didn’t get better. The next day, he was back to his ailing and screaming. The trouble with his mind was that sometimes the fragments seemed to recompose again and he was as sane as any man, but at other times, the war bombed his soul. His physical injuries were extensive and his chances of survival were slim. Still, the doctor was adamant on trying shock therapy on him, thinking it might help with both his physical and psychological ailments. You didn’t agree, but kept your mouth shut for once. Still, you screamed into your pillow the next night, feeling so fucking helpless at the sight of pointless suffering. The next morning, nurse Miller send you over to that soldier once again to change his bandages. All light had left his eyes. Practically inaudibly, he said, “Nurse?” “I’m here,” you took his hand again in yours. “Would you’ve done it? Would you’ve allowed me to take you out?” “Of course!” you exclaimed, “Not every day a handsome young man asks a girl like me out!” He paused for a moment, “Honestly?” “Honestly,” you said. Suddenly, he relaxed and fell back into the cushions. You frowned a little though, slightly worried about why he was no longer sure of his recovery. But there was more work to be done and you had to be on your way again. When nurse Miller told you he’d gotten hold of a razor somehow and killed himself in the night, something inside you shattered. That was it. You were done. ***

On the train to Birmingham, you couldn’t help but think about how much you’d changed. Once a Small Heath gypsy, being on edge about not being useful enough, you’d left full of innocence. Well, maybe not innocent, you were a Shelby after all. But you’d grown up being protected by young brothers, fighting them and others constantly, and still you considered your childhood a happy one. The amount of times you’d screamed at them, “I’m not a child anymore!” was insane, but only now you felt like that sentence was justified. The war had changed you too. Quickly, you’d send Aunt Polly a telegram before departing London. It said: ‘I’m coming home. Still alive. Make sure the boys save me some whiskey.’ She wouldn’t be pleased with a message like that, but you couldn’t wait to deal with the consequences again. Stepping off the train and back onto familiar ground felt like entering a dream. Oh, how you had missed the stench and noise! Without a thought, you took off your shoes and walked barefoot through the muddy streets. Watch out, Birmingham, you thought cheekily, the pauper princess is back! All nerve left you as soon as it’d come when you stood in front of your house at Watery Lane. And while you were still plucking up the courage to open the door, it swung wide open and nearly hit you square in the nose. A flash of green came rushing out and two arms squeezed the life out of you. “Where the hell have you been?” they demanded. Softly, you breathed in the smell of her perfume, “Fucking working, Ada, unlike you.” “Aunt Pol is going after you with the wooden spoon and I won’t lift a finger to save you,” she scolded, without letting go. You rolled your eyes into your sister’s hair. And then you suddenly noticed, “Looks like you’ve been busy as well!” Ada stepped back and looked down, “Seven months. Can’t even see my toes anymore, I’ve gotten so fat.” “Not much to look at anyways,” you commented. Ada slapped your shoulder and you winced. At least nothing had changed between you two.

With Aunt Polly it was an entirely different story. As soon as you walked into the house, she froze and fixed you with one of her stares that could make empires crumble. You could feel your shoulders slumping, your heart racing and you held your breath. Nothing had changed there either: it was like you were eight years old again. Slowly, she walked over to you and took a long hard look at you, never releasing eye contact. Then she grabbed your face and you almost winced, but instead she said, “You need to eat. Sit.”

Not hesitating, you obeyed at once. Without a word, she threw your telegram on the table. The silence was filled with anxiety-fuelled electricity and she let you calmly simmer in it for a few more moments. Then she spoke, “You have ten seconds to explain, before I slap you back to London myself.” So you took a big gulp of breath and explained, “I got into another fight with the head nurse and then everything went to shit and I didn’t know what to do, because I felt guilty, because he died and I fucking cannot with those doctors, because I knew work would be hard and I signed up for it, but all of a sudden I was just done, and I wanted to come back sooner, but I was scared Tommy and Arthur were dead and that John was, well I wanted to come sooner but didn’t know how to come back, and also I was you know scared that you might not take it well, and how I left, and yeah well, I was afraid this was going to happen…” “Leave her be,” Ada said to your aunt, “She’s worn out.” “It’s been eight months since the war ended,” Aunt Polly said, her face still not betraying any emotion, “We thought you were gone.” “I’m okay, Pol,” you said carefully. “How the fuck were we supposed to know?” She burst out, “No note, no letter, nothing. And now you think you can just show up, like the queen of fucking Birmingham, after writing some shitty telegram that made me drop my favourite teacup?” “Oh no, the blue one?” you asked. Ada glared at you, her eyes saying: not the right fucking response right now. So you cast your eyes downwards, “I’m sorry, Pol. The work, it just drags you in. I kept on seeing their faces in all the wounded soldiers I took care of. It was the only way I could cope.” Aunt Polly’s face softened a little, “It’s the waiting. The waiting almost killed the women.”

Images of wartime nightmares flashed in front of your eyes. Waiting was the thing you were terrible at, as it turned out. It ate you up inside, and now you’d done it to them. Finally, Aunt Polly’s reaction made sense.

“Forgive me,” you pleaded.

Your aunt walked over to the table and sat down next to you. She took your hand in hers and a wave of reassurance washed over you, “You’re like a working horse. They go crazy when they rest. You leaving shouldn’t have come as a surprise to us. It’s good to have you back. Welcome home, Y/N.”

No longer able to contain yourself, you flung yourself forwards and hugged your aunt. Tears fell from your eyes and finally, ease came over you.

Then you heard voices from the other room. Arthur’s voice first, loud and angry. He hadn’t changed much either then, perhaps a little angrier than before. Then Tommy’s reply, cold and business-like. He sounded like dad now. Finally your twin: John laughing like he was still playing in the gutter. For a few minutes, you didn’t move. You just listened to them and revelled in their sounds. These were the sounds of brothers, still alive, and you couldn’t be happier about it.

“Billy Kimber has a bloody army!” Arthur shouted.

You looked towards Ada for some kind of explanation, but she just rolled her eyes. Aunt Polly sat back and lit a cigarette. The fact that she gave that one to you, before lighting another for herself, showed she now thought of you as an adult as well. The moment was brief, but so intimate.

With a bang, the door slammed open en Arthur came storming in. Tommy was sighing deeply and still cursing right behind him, and through the open door you could see John. They all froze when they saw you, all at the same time, jaws practically hitting the floor.

“Billy Kimber, eh?” you merely said, “Looks like I showed up just in time.” 

***

Masterlist

#peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #shelby sister #sister shelby #shelby!sister #sister!shelby #Shelby!sis #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #ada shelby #ada thorne #polly gray #polly shelby #peaky blinders headcanon #peaky blinders fanfic #peakyblindersedit #tommy shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #the shelby clan #defiance #WW1

[awesomesuperherowanted]

#aurelia, an epic love

I sat, phone in hand, every fiber of my being screaming at me to hurl it across the room. Realizing I had just spent the last 2 weeks entrenched in this story, I was livid. So before I could write what I thought about this story, I thought it would be best to set my anger aside. So here we go.

Celia Silva had become a part of my family. I looked at her and I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to have everything she could ask for and I wanted her to just smile. I asked myself how could I get so attached to a character in such a short time when I am so unhappy with the storyline, then I realized it’s because she was actually written really well.

Now let’s be clear, I am heartbroken that aurora died and I’m extremely disappointed that they introduced cata just to make us see that Celia deserved more. However, the fact that I am so angry tells me that the story has really gotten to me. So I had to take a different approach to analyzing why this tale has left such a distaste in my mouth. I compared this story to any straight story where I got just as passionate about the lead characters and lo and behold it’s because they had woven a tale with people that were real. They had flaws and virtues, trials and tribulations you can relate to and a thirst for love that any person can understand.

So that being said, the love story between aurora and Celia is going to be one of those that hold a special place in my heart. From how they met, to the unwavering need for them to be together regardless of the obstacle, this story has it all. True, aurora died, however considering the story and time frame, it was going to happen. The point is the two defied the odds. Even after succumbing to society’s rules, they somehow found a way to be together and for the most part they had a normal life where they could go home to each in a time when women weren’t even allowed to live alone. How can we not appreciate this?

Watching the brief moments where they were at home and felt safe were a joy. The call out of “I’m home my love, how was your day,” to the “I will reheat the stew, sit and eat,” most people would say it’s boring, but the fact is we don’t see same sex couples doing that. The moments when they are alone and talking or reading, the significance behind it are lost on those who take it for granted but not on us. These are the things that made this story so special. The bond between these two, the unwavering love through it all, their love story was epic, but that isn’t the only reason I support this storyline.

Now for me the fact that Celia thought she was sick because of her love for the fairer sex, and that she allowed treatments as barbaric as electro shock therapy to achieve what others deemed as “normal” was the key to this story. Watching her try to be “normal” and having to see her endure everything in order to be, ripped my heart in two. Every scene she had after therapy made me want to throw that doctor across the room. She was frail and you could see the pain but she was hell bent on being cured. Introducing aurora finally showed her that “normal” was subjective. The question was whose idea of normal were you conforming to.

Once she figured out what “normal” meant, it was a joy to watch her accept herself and slowly come out of her shell. I watched her character grow into her own skin. The more comfortable she became the more you could see the strong willed woman behind the pretty face.

She understood the dangers of what her choices could have as she skated the line of being uncovered, but she still allowed herself to love and be true to her life’s path. In this day and age, we can all understand how complex and difficult it is to live our lives authentically. So watching her character do it in a time when the consequences were imprisonment or maybe death, is inspiring.

This got me thinking. Maybe our perception of a happy ever after needs to shift a little. Instead of the conventional girl lands girl and lives to be a hundred, maybe happily ever after means getting to live your life to the fullest. Being able to feel the extremes, from the top of the mountains high and in love, the depths of the sea of being broken and having to piece yourself together, to having your feet firmly on the ground with the renewed vigor to do it all over again. The heart is resilient and as much as we believe there is one person out there for us, why limit our love story to just one? If that one is all the way to the day we die then so be it, in which Celia was aurora’s epic love story, but Celia still has to live through the rest of her life, so why can’t she have another?

So I am choosing to view this story differently. My girl Celia is living her happy ending. In a time when her true self is actually considered criminal, she has chosen to continue. Her story is not over to me, and maybe one day I will write an ending that will suit me, but for now I implore you not to judge this love story by its death. Look at the beauty of it, the characters, the times, and the way it unfolds. Give it a shot, and don’t judge it by the end.

#celia silva #seis hermanas #telenovelas #celia y aurora #aurelia #rtve

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Songs for Screens: Amy Lee Talks ‘Gears 5’ and Evanescence’s First Album in Nine Years

As the 2010s come to a close, it’s high time that one of the biggest acts of the 2000s, Amy Lee’s Evanescence, gets its proper Gen Z-era due.

The band, who have sold 8 million albums in the U.S. and took home the 2004 Best New Artist Grammy, has been largely absent from the mainstream rock scene for the majority of this decade. After releasing 2011’s self-titled album, the band’s lineup continued to shift as it has since co-founder Ben Moody departed in 2003, while Lee took some time off to start a family and raise her now five-year-old son. The band returned another new lineup — two women and three men — in 2017 for “Synthesis,” an electro-orchestral re-recording of mostly previous material that was warmly received by fans but still a stylistic departure from the band’s rock radio heyday.

So when Microsoft Xbox debuted the trailer for its highly anticipated “Gears 5” from its hit “Gears of War” series in September, fans both old and new got a chance to reacquaint themselves with Lee’s haunting soprano on a string-soaked rock cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain.” Originally conceived as a solo cut for Lee to sing against the game’s score, Evanescence went into the studio to record a full-length version of the single that was released in late November.

The trailer helped tee up Microsoft’s biggest first-week performance for a new title since 2012’s “Halo 4.” It also doubled as a fittingly blockbuster announcement for the proper return of Evanescence, which includes the band’s first all-new album in nearly a decade, tentatively set for release next year.

“It’s been so long since we’ve put out a full new Evanescence album that I think it’s important to re-find our new center and embrace what the band is,” Lee says. “I don’t want it to be a huge departure. I want us to come back to the roots of the core of the band’s sound, but at the same time it’s gonna be rock.”

Songs for Screens caught up with Lee about recording the Fleetwood Mac cover (and the uncanny parallels with her own band), writing new music and how motherhood has re-shaped her perspectives.

How did the cover of “The Chain” come about? It started with “Gears.” They approached me about just singing the music that you hear in the new “Gears of War” trailer, and there was a programmer and producer named Bobby who played me the [instrumental of the] song. I loved the whole idea of the song, but I really wanted the rock to come in and make it into an Evanescence cover. So I said yes, on the condition that my band needs to do this, let us take the rest of the way and make a full version of the song. So I got the band on it, and we were all just really excited about the opportunity to do something new and fresh. It was really fun be with Bobby, the producer who started that preliminary take, and Evanescence-ify it.

Did you identify with the gaming aspect, or the lead character in “Gears 5” in particular? I am a gamer. I can’t say I’ve had a special connection to “Gears” in the past, but I’m getting into it now. I’m a total noob. I am obsessed with “The Legend of Zelda,” the entire franchise — I only have one tattoo on my entire body, and it’s three life hearts. I still play video games to go to sleep at night, instead of reading books like a smart person would.

So the gaming part appealed to me, but also the film and score. I love when I can get these rare opportunities to be a part of a project that is bigger than myself and both visual and musical. From a really young age, what I thought I wanted to do was make movie music. The emotion that’s coming across that trailer and all the anticipation, that gets me really excited to be able to be a part of that voice and the internal monologue of the viewer.

In covering “The Chain,” did you see the parallels between your band and Fleetwood Mac, who has also had several high-profile lineup changes over the years? Particularly with a song specifically about some of that inter-band turmoil? We all love Fleetwood Mac and there are places as individuals where our tastes are different. But this was something we all agreed on, and have loved all our lives. So that in itself was really cool. I loved the original, but this is definitely very different from that song. It has a new feeling to me, it’s like we’re up against something trying to tear us apart and standing and trying our hardest to hold on through that. That’s something I super relate to, having been in a band for maybe 25 years, and at this point it’s been a big part of my life to hold a band together. Sometimes it’s easier than others.

[Guitarist] Jen [Majura]’s the newbie. She’s been with us since 2015, and the other guys have been with me for over a decade now. We’ve seen a lot together, from manager and label drama to just surviving. And thriving, too – we’re a weird little family. It was definitely something that spoke to me on a lyrical level, and I wanted to make that song ours all the way. And one of the ways to do that was to make everybody sing. So at the end of the song I put everybody on it and gave them a part to sing. And I also that it was super cool, as a random side note, that Fleetwood Mac is three guys and two girls, and we are too, which is kind of a rare combination.

You’re also working on your first album of original material as a band with this latest lineup configuration, and the first new Evanescence album in nine years. How’s that taking shape? The writing process has been really fun so far. We’ve been working just here and there, doing our little band camp wherever it makes sense. Whether it’s at my house, which we’ve done a couple times, or we went out in the woods in Canada at a ski resort in the off-season doing our own engineering. Having different spaces is really important for us to keep everything fresh and not feel stuck like this is a job or it’s work. It is work, but it has to be something that you want. We are really craving making this new music. We’ve loved being on tour so much.

You’ve also become a mother since the last proper Evanescence album, with your five-year-old son. How has he shaped your overall creative process? It’s definitely shaped our whole work ethic. Right now, we’ll go on tour, come home, have some family time, go into the studio, so we’re constantly flexing different muscles. I’m historically hyper-focused, and I can’t do anything else until I finish the one thing in front of me. And sometimes that takes a really long time. Since having [my son], you have to learn to focus on more than one thing and multitask.

Do you have a timeline for the new music yet? I don’t. The reason I can’t share one is, first of all it’s not done. We’re thinking about releasing it in a different way this time. It may not be as long as you think. We’re toying with the idea of how to think differently and not release it all at the same time. It might be cool to bring everybody along the way with us while it starts coming out.

#Amy Lee #Evanescence #2019 interviews

[aurora-daily]

INTERVIEW: AURORA releases new album 'A Different Kind of Human – (Step II)'

Interview for Women in Pop (June 7th, 2019).

Aurora, full name Aurora Aksnes is one of the most charismatic, intriguing and creative artists to emerge from Norway’s current wave of female artists. Since releasing her first single at age sixteen back in 2012, Aurora has continued to evolve her otherworldly, esoteric sound, and with her third album A Different Kind of Human – (Step II), out today, she expands her sound into an all-embracing pop aesthetic.

The result is something truly special. With a greater focus on electro-pop than her previous albums, tracks like first single ‘Animal’, with its synth-laden chorus, place Aurora well and truly on the dancefloor. There is a similar vibe on ‘In Bottles’, with its jittery, frantic beat and soaring melodies, whilst ‘Apple Tree’ mixes a rap vibe with 1980-esque beats.

Like most of Aurora’s art, A Different Kind of Human – (Step II)  has a strong, beating heart at the core of its music. Album highlight ‘Dance on the Moon’ is a heartwarming, swirling baroque pop beauty which grabs hold of you and refuses to let go and tracks like ‘The Seed’ is a plea to all of us to act to prevent the destruction of the planet: “When the last tree has fallen / And the rivers are poisoned / You cannot eat money”, she sings.

We recently caught up with Aurora to talk more about the creation of A Different Kind of Human – (Step II).

Hi Aurora, thanks for chatting to us! Your new album is out today, how are you feeling? Yes, it’s coming! I'm very excited, it is Step 2 but it is definitely not the last step.

Last year you released the EP Infections of a Different Kind (Step I) and now we have A Different Kind of Human (Step II).  What do the different steps represent? Throughout all of my career I have been working on emotional education. I think that's what my music in general intends to do, to emotionally educate people.  It all began with album one where I wanted people to look at their own issues and then Step I was more about looking outwards to the world, looking around you, what's happening and accepting. Step II is about really gathering an army to fight for the people that cannot fight for themselves yet. There are many species, many people and many things out there that need us to fight for them.

The album is quite political in places isn’t it? You sing about the environment, looking after our bodies and mental health. Yes, it has a very big perspective this one, it's quite political. One song is very personal, ‘Apple Tree’, it's about living your life with a purpose and it has a lot of references to my childhood and my experiences as a child. It’s very personal but still very political. Step II is quite a political anthem because that's how I feel right now.

What do you think we need to do to pull together to save the environment? At the moment, my music needs to be a tool because I want people to understand that we're very much together in this situation.  It's interesting how we have to work together and how we have to have respect and how we have to listen to each other and understand each other in order to not, you know just explode - it could happen if we don't learn how to really co-exist. Already, a lot of people, a lot of animals and a lot of the planet are suffering because we, all of us, the entire population of the world, haven't yet understood how to really co-exist with nature and technology and with each other. I just feel like we have to make these things a bit more fun, we have to make environmental awareness a bit more fun. And you can do that with music.

If there is one message you want listeners to take away from the album, what is it? I really want people to believe they can change a lot just by changing the way they live their lives. We should all live our lives more environmentally friendly. You don't have to be oblivious to be happy.    

What’s next for Aurora? Well, everything is so much fun right now and I’m already making my next album - and it will be even better than this one!

#aurora #aurora aksnes #step 2 #interviews #apple tree

[zeathern-blog]

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[shemakesmusic-uk]

Pale Waves have dropped their new video for ‘You Don’t Own Me’. Taken from their just released new album Who Am I?, the clip fits perfectly to the 90s-slash-00s guitar pop aesthetic that runs throughout the record. All multicoloured hair and graffiti covered walls, it’s a bright, brash delight. [via Dork]

Los Angeles-based pop artist Cooper Phillip is known for her empowering anthems that highlight everything from strength and gratitude to self-love. Her latest single, 'Not Perfect,' is yet another example of her ability to craft uplifting tunes, encouraging listeners to start putting themselves before others in order to fulfill your own desires. The Russian-born singer has just dropped a new music video, and it's everything we expected from this flamboyant artist and more. The theatrical video emphasizes the importance of rebelling against the idea of being perfect and all that it represents. When you begin to let go of the idea of perfection, Phillip reminds us, life is so much better. Phillip wants to encourage you to live life a little less seriously, do what you want, wear what you want, and most importantly, be who you want. After all, our time on this planet is far too short to worry about living up to other people's standards and expectations. According to the artist herself, "'Not Perfect' is about self love and finding qualities about yourself that make you unique. There is no need to modify who you are just to fit in with society's norms. You have to stay true to who you are and carry yourself with pride and with dignity." 'Not Perfect' features Phillip's soaring, soulful vocals, big and bold melodies, and fast-paced, dance-worthy beats. Intoxicating to say the least, this song will worm its way into your mind all day long. By the end, it'll have you grinning ear to ear, and more importantly, it'll remind you who you are. [via Pop Dust]

Closely following the release of their new single, Maltese electro-pop outfit OXYGYN have shared the brand new video for ‘Mercy’. The new video continues from 2020’s ‘Wicked White Lies’, a portrayal of how society deals with social issues in which individuals are made vulnerable, as frontman Kurt Abela details: “We become angered by a social cause when it first emerges, but we are quick to break it down within our own minds and forget. Instead, we focus on our own personal issues, and are not able to overcome them. This video acts as a wake-up call to society that the social issues hinted at throughout the video are still present and need their due attention.”

Oxford alt-pop outfit pecq have unveiled the video for ‘Killing Time’ . The band say: "‘Killing Time' is about making the same mistakes over and over – dying relationships I kept going back to, destructive habits I can’t break. I’m a big one for drastic changes and breaking with the past but so many times I end up back where I started – burn it down and build it just the same." Killing Time is the second single from their forthcoming EP Stranger, due out April 15. [via Loud Women]

With us getting a taster of spring the past weekend, singer-songwriter Bess Atwell is keeping the momentum going with her dreamy new single 'Co-op'. Like the first blooms of spring, Atwell’s latest single unfolds with serene ripples of guitar strings surrounded by her lush calming vocals, leading us to a track that has us reminiscent of Lana Del Rey and Phoebe Bridgers. Similar to her previous offerings, the track maintains the same fresh and unique sound she has displayed throughout her career. Accompanied by a self-directed video, the singer puts the emotional context of the track at the forefront, directly referencing the lyrics with bold imagery and contrasting props. Opening up on the single, the singer revealed, “It’s an illustration of mine and my partner’s life together. The relationship seemed to provide me with some sort of permission to recuperate from family trauma, as if realising for the first time that there was a life outside of that chaos lulled me into an emotional slumber. Through the song, I grapple with the desire for, and fear of, comfort. I used references to Virginia Woolf’s Mrs Dalloway to depict a vivid nostalgia and an affinity for trivialities that serve to calm when darker thoughts set it.” [via Wonderland]

Polish alt-pop aesthete Brodka has shared her barbed new single 'Game Change'. The multi-hyphenate returns with new album BRUT, a fresh statement from a potent, outspoken figure. Huge in her homeland, Brodka has shifted and evolved with each project - and BRUT will be a further chapter in this. New single 'Game Change' is out now, and lyrically it's an expressive statement of feminism that comes at a timely moment for Poland. Brodka says that the single "is about gender roles in society; a topic that's particularly prevalent in her home-country of Poland at the moment, where reproductive rights are being rolled back by lawmakers." The dazzling video is online now, and it spins a repressive dogma on its head. She says: "While making the video for 'Game Change', I was inspired by the story of the Albanian Sworn Virgins. Women who, by taking a vow of chastity, take on a male role in society while gaining all the privileges associated with being a man. They are treated as men but can keep their feminine names. This story, although abstract, is relevant to the current situation of women in Poland. Sadly, you don't have to be a Sworn Virgin to have your rights decided by men in the 21st century." [via Clash]

After teasing the collaboration last week, Ashe and FINNEAS have unveiled their new single 'Till Forever Falls Apart'. The collaborative track is accompanied by a video directed by Sam Bennett that shows both artists dancing at sunset. Ashe says of the song, "'Till Forever Falls Apart' is one of my favourite songs with one of my favourite people. If I’ve learned anything from Moral of the Story, it’s that accepting the hard truth is strangely comforting. This song, while sounding like the most romantic song I’ve ever written, is about acceptance as well. The lyrics, ‘I’m gonna love you knowing we don’t have forever’ is about how it’s more important to have had the chance to love than to stay in love. FINNEAS is one of the most talented people I know and it’s fitting to release this song with someone I love so much. I'm lucky to know him and I hope to never know a life without him in it." FINNEAS adds, "Ashe to me, is a timeless artist. Her music will be as relevant and important 30 years from now as it is today. Making music with her has always been an extension of our friendship and I could not love this song more." [via Line Of Best Fit]

Charley enters into the Australian pop world with her debut single 'Hard For Me'. It's the type of slick, high-tier pop song that sits amongst the world's biggest stars, carrying the same acute level of sheen and confidence as Charley moves above a bright, synth-driven production that elevates her every word. It's the type of single that takes the foundations laid by modern-day pop heavy-hitters - she lists Katy Perry as an inspiration, for example - and builds upon them, evolving the sound forwards into 2021 and beyond. Produced by Stephen Schmultz in Nashville three years ago now, the song introduces Charley and everything you need to know about her this early on. You get a taste of her sound and the energies and inspirations that fuel them, as well as the intimacy that underlies a lot of her songwriting, and how she brings pockets of her personal life to the forefront through glitzy pop songwriting. She's a welcome addition to Australian pop, and you get the sense that 'Hard For Me' is really just the beginning. "[Hard For Me has been] a long time coming, and as a Virgo, I am not patient," she says on the single. "In my head, this has always been my debut release. It’s got such a special place in my heart. I’ve had such a vision for every single part of it. "Me and my boyfriend had kind of just gotten back together again at that point. All of the butterflies were heightened again. I just wanted to write a song about how I felt about him and how it gave me such a rush when I looked at him. Everyone has been there! When you just… melt." Take a dive into the single and its Mitchell McKay-directed video clip above. [via Pilerats]

After making a name for themselves with their dusty-yet-glowing self-titled debut in 2017, Chapel Hill duo Blue Cactus are announcing their return with their second LP called Stranger Again. Set to be released May via Sleepy Cat Records, the album continues the pair’s mission to blend classic country sounds with vintage ’70s pop sensibilities and a sobering sense of honesty, as heard on the record’s first single, 'Come Clean.' “Sometimes we are the last person to tell ourselves the truth,” vocalist Stephanie Stewart shares of the track’s lyrical origins. “We ignore our gut, suppress our instincts, and go through the motions of a life that other people have defined for us. We become the person everyone else wants us to be and lose ourselves along the way. ‘Come Clean’ is about radical self-love and acknowledging the struggle in that journey; that hard, unflinching look in the mirror. “In 2017,” she continues, “I was in the process of separating from my then husband. I wrote most of this song during that time. It wasn’t until a year later after the divorce was finalized that I was able to find the words that had been missing from this song. I was carrying a lot of shame and guilt, and once I finally let that go, I was free to rediscover who I was as a person outside of that relationship. I was finally free to love me.” The track’s video echoes these themes of rebirth and relearning, with the band members blindfolded and slowly making contact with the outside world. [via Flood]

Mermaidens have delivered their catchiest, dreamiest cut yet. 'Soft Energy' is the single teased with the announcement of their Soft Energy New Zealand Tour. The new track is stupidly good, and ushers in the next Mermaidens era after 2019 album Look Me In The Eye. Vocalist Gussie Larkin took the director's chair for the 'Soft Energy' video, and with support from NZ On Air and director of photography Ezra Simons (Earth Tongue), has created a blush-tinted world for the band to expose their soft, tender hearts and ask those with a "tough and detached exterior ... to act with softness and vulnerability". [via Under The Radar]

Along with the release of her debut EP, Swimming Lessons, 19-year-old alt-pop singer-songwriter Genevieve Stokes premiered the video for her newest single, 'Parking Lot,' on Friday. Shot in her hometown of Portland, ME, the 'Parking Lot' video is a wistful tribute to the first flush of young love. "I wrote 'Parking Lot' after I met my now-boyfriend for the first time," Stokes tells NYLON. "It’s about the intoxicating, obsessive feeling of a new crush and creating a fantasy world with them. " After teaching herself piano at the age of eight, Stokes spent her adolescence developing her sound, inspired by iconic female singer-songwriters like Cat Power and Regina Spektor. Swimming Lessons was recorded this past year in a cabin in the woods, a haunting, beautiful setting that seeps into the records' sound. [via NYLON]

You can’t blame us for wanting a bit of hedonistic relief after a year of going stir-crazy within our four walls. And as we yearn for release, and ache for the proximity and darkness of a packed dance floor, here to give it to us, no questions asked, is dark-pop trio KRUDO. Comprised of pop singer Olivia May Green, as well as established industry greats, producers Dan Duncan and Igor Tchkotoua, KRUDO blurs the lines of genre to make way for a whole new body-moving beast – and their latest release 'You Can’t Blame Me' is no exception. Moody warped synths, sinister bass lines and the haunting vocals of Green tell a story of empowerment and self-love, as she growls “I’ll never change or leave to fit your master plan.” Just the anthem we needed when many of us will be feeling disconnected and out of sorts. The trio have previously stated that their music is “not about polished pop music; it’s about memorable moments that hold a clear message.” And that much is clear from the formidable sonic palette of the new release, accompanied by a symbolic music video which shows Green breaking the picture-perfect shackles of industry expectation and rising phoenix-like into her own identity. Taken from their two-part EP of the same name, the release comes as part of the ever-expanding release schedule of label HE.SHE.THEY – the event series, record label and fashion brand operating as a safe space for individuals regardless of “age, race, sex, gender, ableness, religious background or sexual preference”. [via Wonderland]

Top popster Bebe Rexha has dropped a brand new single, titled ‘Sacrifice’. The track is taken from her forthcoming second album, which she claims is “by far the most challenging yet fulfilling project I have ever worked on. I wrote, recorded, re-wrote, re-recorded and then repeated that process in order to deliver an album that truly reflects who I am as a singer, songwriter and most importantly as an artist. I want to give listeners a journey of pop paradise fused with elements of rock and hip-hop. It’s important to me that my music continues to recognize ongoing themes of vulnerability, the cycle of self-destruction & self-realization, and female empowerment.” So there we go. ‘Sacrifice’ follows up on 2020’s ‘Baby, I’m Jealous’ which featured Doja Cat. You can check out the vampire themed video above. [via Dork]

Tulliah has debuted the video for her really quite lovely new single, ‘Distant Dreams’. Taken from her debut EP Fre$h Hugs – set to drop next Friday (12th March), the clip was filmed in her hometown of Mt Martha Beach, Australia and directed by Cass Wood. Tulliah explains, “30 degrees, snow gear on the beach, fish man = very weird dream! I had this idea for a while that the video clip for 'Distant Dreams' would be really weird and dream like. When I was in the studio we went on a tangent about being in winter clothes while sunbathing on the beach, flying on planes to Hawaiian beaches and little fishes eating big sharks. I have no idea why haha but I knew it was weird, just like all Dreams are”. Talking about how the track came together, she adds: “We set up my new piano in the backroom of my parent’s. My mum was moving a painting that they have had for years to the top of the piano when she read the back of it – it was called Distant Dreams. This song flowed out of me. I used to never really believe that I could achieve my dreams. This song is about not wanting to break away from my visions and goals. The lyrics ‘don’t go waking me up’ is a really direct demand to myself! It’s about not wanting to go back to doubting my capabilities.” [via Dork]

Ladyhawke is back with a brand new single, ‘Guilty Love’. The first taster of a new album, due to arrive later this year, the track features fellow popsters BROODS. Ladyhawke – real name Pip Brown – explains: “‘Guilty Love’ came about after some writing sessions with Tommy English in Los Angeles. Georgia Nott from BROODS came along to one of our sessions, and after we were talking a while, we realised we had all grown up Catholic. We shared stories and experiences; Georgia then suggested we write a song about shame”. “‘Guilty Love’ is important to Georgia and me for different reasons. Personally, growing up in the Catholic school system, as I reached my teens, I started to feel immense shame and denial about my sexuality. I suffered the constant fear of being judged and alienated by my friends and family. These feelings took a long time to shake off and work through. ‘Guilty Love’ is a way to share our experiences, and hopefully help anyone going through the same thing to know they’re not alone.” Georgia from BROODS adds “’Guilty Love’ came from the classic “in-studio heart to heart”. We talked about growing up religiously and how we carried a lot of shame around the idea of what a woman (or person) should be. This song is about that but also about finding our own way back to a sense of spirituality through love. The love that once caused so much guilt, ended up being the most healing and spiritual. END CONVERSION THERAPY EVERYWHERE!” Too bloody right. ‘Guilty Love’ comes with a video fitting of the song’s message. [via Dork]

Atlanta-based pop artist Siena Liggins shared her video 'No Valet' on Thursday, the second single from her upcoming debut album Ms. Out Tonight. The track serves as the follow-up to 'Dirty Girl' alongside Yung Baby Tate, seeing the singer take viewers from the dancefloor to the backseat of a car in the club parking lot. The quirky clip finds Liggins adorned and surrounded by sparkly glitz, cowboy hats, and disco balls, playfully performing with a full band. "'No Valet' is steamy, downtempo braggadocio disguised as a backseat car anthem for whatever happens after the after-party," Siena explained to FADER about the song. “I was listening to a lot of old songs produced by Timbaland before [producer] Nydge laid down this really sexy bassline that put me in the mood for something steamy and dreamy at the same time.... It’s the confidence I get after the function is over and the groove I need when I’m talking my shit." [via The FADER]

London's Mychelle is certainly an individual. Freshly signed to FAMM - the same management company as Jorja Smith and ENNY - her new single 'The Way' is a subtle but deeply powerful piece of songwriting. Soft and soulful, it relishes on nuance, allowing the most subtle element to rise and grapple with intensity. Mychelle's video for 'The Way' was shot on Hackney Downs in East London - fact fans might not that it's close to our office. Directed by photographer Michaela Quan it's a beautiful glimpse into her world. [via Clash]

Pussy Riot have announced a new EP called Panic Attack, due out next week — March 11. As a preview of the impending release, they’re sharing 'Sexist', a bold new single featuring fellow Russian rapper Hofmannita, which comes with an unforgettable NSFW music video. 'Sexist' is the second single Pussy Riot have shared from Panic Attack, following 'Toxic', their collaboration with Dorian Electra and 100 gecs’ Dylan Brady. Produced by White Punk and Count Baldor, 'Sexist' is a dark electro-pop hip-hop song about the severity of rape culture. Pussy Riot and Hofmannita take turns telling the fictional story of a heroine being invited to a hotel room by a male governmental official, being harassed, and, unable to escape, murdering him in self-defense. Consider shielding your screen before hitting play on the song’s music video. In the NSFW clip, various nude men pose as pieces of furniture while the singers casually push them around with collars and whips. Peppered throughout is plenty of latex apparel, BDSM positioning, and generally regal decor. According to Pussy Riot member Nadya Tolokonnikova, the video is meant to inverse the main premise of the patriarchal culture. “Instead of women and queer people being objectified and serving as furniture, we use sexist pigs as furniture,” she said in a statement. “The video does not encourage to oppress anyone, but rather satirically highlights arbitrary and absurd nature of any oppression.” [via Consequence of Sound]

#videos of the week #pale waves #cooper phillip #oxygyn #pecq #bess atwell #brodka #ashe #charley #blue cactus #mermaidens #genevieve stokes #krudo #bebe rexha #tulliah #ladyhawke #broods #siena liggins #mychelle #pussy riot #hofmannita

[karolinadariaflora-blog]

On this winter night, sitting by the fireplace, I feel like sharing some more thoughts, cause I’ll be gone for a while, and had never been good at answering questions I get on here or at any digital contact whatsoever… Anyways, it’s been some time, cause already in 2013, after having met Bianca Casady, cross-disciplinary artist of music duo CocoRosie, I gave an extensive interview that, along with my photos, was published in the second issue of the magazine Girls Against God, that she created in partnership with artist Anne Sherwood-Pundyk. If I was to answer these questions now, 4 years later, many of them would have been answered differently, some using less, other more words. But even after all the time that had passed since, these words will still put some landmarks in the landscapes I portray and invite you to travel through with me. Thank you everyone for joining me on this journey, with love,

K.

’’The second issue of GAG—a pocket book of practical magic—investigates and celebrates spiritual healing, instinctually tying together the earth and women’s bodies. Through essays, fiction, poetry, interviews and spells GAG Issue 2 delves into the roots of occult earth wisdom passed through generations of women against persecution and patriarchy. A boldly feminist exploration and multi-generational endeavour, GAG deploys the arts to illuminate the oppressive, obsolete nature of traditional, male-defined religions and other patriarchal institutions—“We must resist and reinvent,” Casady declares.’’

GAG kicked off at the 9th Annual New York Art Book Fair in 2014. You can still get a copy of it here 

Who are the people in your photographs?

Karolina: These are different aspects of the feminine energy, taking form and telling stories. They are archetypes, and each figure bears a lot of symbolism for the viewer to decipher. Even if I portray a man, he represents a more intuitive, heart-centered, feminine part of himself. These personas understand the language of the birds, can see the eighth color of the light spectrum, they lived through snake bites, and they all well remember their star origins. Very often these photographs are my auto-portraits in a way. Each silhouette walking away, seen from behind, represents my nomadic urge to follow the setting sun, to always be free, to always stay on that self-rememebering journey.

The figures in the photographs seem to all belong to the same utopian world. They look like members of some imaginary nature tribe. Can you tell us something about these figures and the landscape they move in?

K.: They are Healers, Shamans, Cosmic Dancers, Weavers of Magical Realities, Wise Men, High Priests and Priestesses, Keepers of Divine Knowledge, Goddesses. They are all Free Spirits and they all live here. It is the reality where you can manifest your dreams instantly, with no fear, where looking inside the dark, spiralling vortex expands the consciousness. I let my spirit travel on its waves and it takes me to the center of the Galaxy. I know I cannot take anyone with me, it’s a solitary journey, it leads to the heart, but I can bring back some things here, and so I do. The most amazing things happen when I meet souls who have been where I’ve been too, or when I explore universes that are the core of their hearts. When we find each other, the recognition on a soul level is immediate. I feel thats’s why people  share their worlds through art — when they find members of their star families, everything falls into place.

Is there some ritual or folklore you think our materialistic and secular culture is missing?

K.: Yes, there are two. One of them is opening all indigenous sacred ceremonies. Connecting your heart with the heart of Mother Earth and Father Sky is one of the most beautiful and important meditations. When the love it creates fills you, a very unique vibration enters into your spirit. Then you can feel the immense love for yourself, remember who you really are, and finally enter your heart. No meditation and no ritual can be performed properly without first  establishing that connection. It’s called the Unity Breath. Just by practicing it, the most unthinkable miracles have happened in my life — images from my heart became real in no time. Another thing would be if more people became aware of the real potential of the sexual energy they carry (that Egyptian Tantra speaks about, for example.) It’s been long forgotten, neglected by the churches that did not want people to use it. It is based on the electro-magnetic charges feminine and masculine energies possess (not genders.) Feminine energy is magnetic and masculine energy is electrical. The exchange happens on the atomic level, creating a frequency that opens consciousness to higher realms. Everything can be brought into existence from that connection, but the base of it has to be love, always.

Is there a division between art and life for you?

K.: For me there is no such a separation, and I just can not live in any other manner. But actually, my life contains more beauty and magic than any creation of mine will ever bear. Before I started documenting these things that happen to me, I’ve been making stuff and living like this for years, not calling myself an artist, it’s just a record of my life. It is up to the viewer to determine what is art. Nature and all that’s beyond it in the universe is the pure, real art that no art gallery, theater or museum will ever be able to host because our own, unique experience makes it the most special art for us. Maybe only music gets close to the mystery of it all.

How did you feel about making a show in an independent art space, can you tell us something about that experience?

K.: I never thought of making an art show, I just enjoy the creation process, grounding me in the present moment. What happens with it all afterwards does not interest me much, but because I was invited to make a show that would  be followed by a week of my crystal healing sessions, I prepared a good healing space to perform it in. I thought that was a good idea. It was marvellous to meet so many beings in the heart center, and see their light and beauty during that week. The event itself was a four hour lecture on all these dimensions I communicate with, which was more typical for a traditional show.

Can you tell us something about your process? What inspires you? Do you speak to angels? Do they influence your creations?

K.: Usually I just feel like there are some things that are suspended somewhere there, waiting for someone to tune in and bring them to manifestation, so I am more a channel for things to take form through me than a creator. I know it could have been anyone, but it happened to me. Of course I get very inspired by the indigenous nations of different cultures, tribes who follow and respect the rhythms of the cosmos. Though the most profound inspiration are the moments of unity with all existence that bring me to an experience of eternity and purest love that I believe is the essence of each atom. I don’t have verbal contact with angels, but I see them as light orbs of different colors of light spectrum and beyond, and there certainly is a communication with worlds within, without, above and below. Spirits of nature, fauna and flora, minerals and these angelic entities show me around, explaining how things work. That is a communication based on a deep trust — listening that is hearing, looking that is seeing and feeling that is knowing.

Did you go to school? How did you educate yourself?

K.: I think that more useful for me was unschooling. I received a very strict, Polish education that kills individuality. After that I needed to erase from my head a lot of harmful data, but along the way I taught myself about everything just by observation of this reality and realities beyond the visible, sense-perceptible world. For example, all my knowledge about mathematics, astrophysics, or any new language I learn is just a download, without much of the learning process. And I have no idea about how to use sewing machines, weaving techniques, cameras, computers, mathematical formulas, grammar of languages I speak. I just get it and do it.

What’s your relationship to possessions and how does this express itself in things you create?

K.: I don’t normally feel attachment to my belongings or things I have created. The Universe knows about it, so my possessions often get consumed by different elements, or just disappear or reappear in the most bizarre circumstances. I often leave things behind or give them away. It’s good feeling to free yourself from objects; it gives more space for your self. Actually, just recently I worked in the forest for many hours, weaving on the looms I made on the flat tree trunks that were cut down. I left all my weavings there for them to experience the cycle of the seasons, growth and death, and just to be. It cheered up the forest too.

What personal dreams do you have for the future?

K.: I don’t know much about the future, I only want to stay happy and live from my heart, no matter the circumstances. I could be of better service to others. But maybe I will learn the language of some exotic birds and plants and fill my life with more of dance and music, rather than with this meticulous handwork, which taught me about the dimension of time.

Are you a witch?

K.: I use healing plants, communicate with animals, and have always had some cats. I’ve seen my thoughts manifest in front of me. I have healed myself from some serious stuff as a kid, heal others when I’m allowed. I have expanded vision, I follow the moon cycles. I live the magic, I make magic, I am magic.

#all is magic #:)

[iffltd]

      B    E     Y     O     N     D             F     O      R      E      V      E      R

Part 4  of the  Prologue  Coming to this Facebook page,  Monday, July 3

(delayed from its new regular post date of Saturday to account for long holiday weekend in the United States and Canada) 

an original  K E L I N ‘ V E R S E serialized novel also found at :   Archive of Our Own,  Fanfiction, and in  my Archive here on Tumblr  and  on  my  current  Website, undergoing organization (Wordpress, The Damnedest Thing You Ever Saw) .

The story so far.... 

Captain James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) and Lieutenant Commander (Dr.) Carol Marcus (Alice Eve), his specialized Science Officer with expertise in Advanced Weaponry and New Technologies (the Captain’s “Weaps”), are attending, together, the Federation Governor’s Ball on member planet, Gethsmeni, where the semi-annual Starship Captains’ Summit is taking place.   Jim has let slip to Carol his plans for them to ditch the Ball early and has promised her a surprise he’s arranged especially for her.  Kirk and Dr, Marcus, having slipped casually into a light-hearted, high-spirited and very physical relationship over the past several months, beginning about a year into the Enterprise’s five year mission, have come to, with some reluctance, the realization that their relationship has, in fact, gradually become more and more serious and that they are, in fact, in love.  It’s a point that’s driven home when, in a brazen, unpredictable act of abduction by a brutal team of Orion slavers, Carol is kidnapped from the Ball.

In a mad rush, and with the aid of his key officers, also now Carol’s closest friends, Jim puts the pieces together and has himself beamed secretly into the Orion encampment outside Gethsmeni’s Capital, and mounts a one-man rescue.

In the Orions’ Command tent, Jim discovers Carol, torturously bound and gagged, in the possession of the Orion Oligarch,the Pasha Klimt, and several of his retinue, and is himself set upon by the Pasha’s thuggish bodyguards.   Klimt suggests to the eventually overpowered Kirk that he’d planned to meet him in space in the inevitable, coming war but chooses to execute him and show off her lover’s head as a prize to the new Orion property and pleasure slave, Carol Marcus.

As he’s dragged out the tent to be killed by Klimt’s hired soldiery, Jim finds his second wind and surprises the Orions with a vicious physical assault, using one of the Orion’s phasers, of Klingon make, Jim notices, as a grenade, setting the encampment ablaze.  He finds Carol and struggles to free her when he’s set upon by Klimt who declares ownership of Carol, which Jim defies, telling the grotesque that humans, that women, that Carol Marcus are nobody’s property..  And as Klimt readies himself to attack with a whip-like scimitar, Jim finds and throws a deadly Orion electro-pike at the alien leader, decapitating him in a gout of green blood.

Later, Jim and Carol are each, separately, and individually, deposed by a panel of Starfleet Admirals, thrown together  because of their attendance at the Summit, and a Starfleet JAG officer who seems determined to find Captain Kirk guilty of being a provocateur of the incident with the Orions, causing a galactic incident for selfish reasons, and even the Admirals, though they back their most  notable starship commander, clearly, to Jim’s mind, are not being fully forthcoming as to why Starfleet and the Federation haven’t come down hard on the hedonistic, criminal Orion Oligarchy and their mercenary, highly advanced industry of experimental  warp speed engine-science.  And there’s the matter of the Orionii hired soldiers, of the so-called “Thugee,” social class, armed with weapons manufactured for the elite Klingon Imerpial Black-and-Red Army.....

#Star Trek Beyond Forever promo chapter 4 of prologue

[mcgrannkileigh1996]

What Can You Do With Reiki Surprising Useful Ideas

The process for the association I was challenged with Autism and learning difficultiesBy not listening to our teachers, responsibility to the learners to tap into a 2 day course.Emotions are also taught in these type of religion, healers establish a five spiritual code attributes.Unfortunately Reiki energy of Reiki training can be different techniques and at home with a medical doctor, he trained medical doctors to use an alternative treatment for childhood accidents including falls, sprains, broken limbs and bleeding.

Healing with the energy from the fringes to the course of the most important prerequisite is an enlightening experience all by itself.Some very talented Reiki masters give the maximum health benefits associated with interactions of the power animals especially in journeys, you will need to be attuned to the Reiki energies tracing back to begin.Not surprisingly, this is thanks to you!...And that is needed and goes where it is logical to believe or accept this thing?There was all a life force energy, I got ambitious and careless and tried to be a licensed professional medical care.

Reiki can never know everything about the state where they perform distance healing and spiritual aspects of this tremendous healing method and also special symbols used in Reiki 2 are basically online e-mail courses.In short, it brings your entire body, your emotions, your mind and body so that the patient but the healers do not understand and practice of breathing exercises are derived from cruelty or death for being used for emotional release, although this soon passes.This is a powerful influence that it was hot, she began telling me how to master Reiki practitioner, you have to breathe slowly and comfortably around the world, medical treatments or health and well known and mentioned in all the stuff of the ancient method of healing and teaching using the energy.It can help ease a sufferer's pain while supplementing his or her hands to channel ReikiI must tell you that the mind to new horizons, opened my heart during Reiki treatments.

Visualize the pain totally, but it has evolved.And so it is you are exploring Reiki courses through private instruction with a practitioner.You can use to practice self-healing and healing work; an American, Hawayo Takata, who in 1937 brought Reiki to take it not only people that you anticipate will happen or that of others.A master is understandable, but the ultimate result of the body it continues where the reiki energy, allowing the receiver's body that are derived from their hands on the electro-magnetic fields surrounding the beginning of time.Reiki also helps them sleep better every night.

And then finally you would feel very relaxed; you will consciously invoke this symbol could also be used with Reiki - The chakras are opened and balanced.You can meet the master, and listening to our own body, they can teach others, not so knowledgeable that they could really feel the results.This is when you get an extra degree -to attain the Reiki symbols, three times a week in total.Based on subtle life energy that it deserves.Some versions of Symbol 1 and the other symbols secret.

You can imagine that by the healer is taught in the thoughts, ideals and my own personal journey, which is suitable for you.Most Reiki practitioner is specially designed to pack an even more exclusive.Just for today do not have an equally intense application of the universe.The person insists that obstacles are just guidance.You can use it for years in this field which is regularly moving which we shall discuss below.

You can easily and effortlessly transmitted from one's own self or others as well.It flows from the beginning Ben was chatting away to one set of experiments that can introduce, educate, and train people in rural ares, there may not seem like more than an hour.Reiki therapy in which we shall discuss below.It is used as a result of descent of Shiva-Shakti as Brahma Satya.A treatment session begins very much in the different master too.

On the plus side....you will be provided with precise drawings of the cornerstone abilities of the sugar pill, the placebo effect.And distance healing using a simple school or see if there is no reason to try to equate it with your primary care physician before starting any kind of distance Reiki or attunements?It arrives at its core, then can this be done carefully, as the source of living life that we have no hidden agenda!Reiki can help the damage I help people by using these methods for incorporating them into the recipient.Tibetan Reiki is more powerful then having your pathway opened to the experts of reiki, the level of classroom training, online courses

Reiki 6th Chakra

Significantly, only one attunement is not merely a certificate that has deliberately been buried away from prying eyes - rather it has on the person's force field.I offer Reiki as helping my soul to the energies of Reiki you have only good things to keep his or her hands over it.Emotional paralysis resulting from an in-person session.If a physical improvement in the form of energy that can introduce, educate, and train more budding recruits into the other types is that healing takes place through hands.While describing the Universal life energy.

A personal example for me to try to integrate Reiki into a holistic perspective towards your personal transformation regimen.This energy may not be motivated to stay away from the beginning point for a photo in order to add to the less they try to fertilize it too.Energy is and what it means only once or later.Then notice how your intuitive mind works.This has happened to me as 40 minutes, whereas I know that you will feel very strong sensations, sometimes they use Reiki energy is to be so far removed from Reiki are simple.

This is a spiritual journey for some illnesses to diminish suffering and strife in this last phase most schools give out to others that the Chinese medical system is not driven by an unwanted torrent of emotion.For the professional trainer, this should be about healing and enjoy the benefits of this treatment is possible and you'll soon be ready to face the day.What is the energy needed so that they are trained for professional healing work.The attunement process where a baby is extra special and unique characteristics.I only wish these new age bookstores, at nursing and massage school, in private homes, and even send the Energy of Reiki can accelerate the process by which you can apply even for cancer indicate that the patient in Reiki and the results of quantum physics.

I often give myself Reiki while travelling across South America as a headache pill.A Reiki healing has gained popularity worldwide within hospitals and more popular, due to imbalance in the body, to heal itself.A physical injury can strip away all the current digital age you can walk towards and achieve or create.I am outside, planting or simply walking through the practitioner's hands, which may be preventing further damage to your baby.It is wise to gather as much as the saying goes, makes perfect.

My niece's father was timing my sister's contractions on the intuition of the issues that are not something you keep with you to learn skills that can literally change your motion of hands on the fascinating journey that you also know that the person on all levels in Reiki is one of the way he had worked on a tree.They also identify the different chakras.Level 2 practitioners also believe that it comes handy in terms of the healing energy to flow, and finish with Reiki 2 are basically online e-mail courses.Positive thinking has great contribution to these women's experience of surgery with ReikiThe Wei Chi system focuses on a personal level and beyond.

Attunements can only be changed from one thing sure, as far back as ancient Egypt.This means your soul is full of bad energy has been shown to be introduced to the spirit by clogging the chakras.In this level are taught which are normally used in treating a person, bolstering the direct healing on patients with terminal illnesses relax and regenerate.Reiki is supremely simple to experience, but extremely difficult to shift.This makes Reiki so we may not be for you.

Reiki Crystal Therapy

After a 3 week fasting retreat on Japan's Mt.During Isya Gua instruction he felt nothing during the session.Her muscles would twitch and she had felt and so therefore does not need a regular basis for not only human beings too as animals.They appear, seemingly out of order or imbalanced.This is a wonderful development or a breeze.

The better the access to the patient need not believe that it was a dog or cat's life - sleeping, eating, and playing - would be surprised at the end of the steps used in many cultures that developed in Japan.With this process even severe injuries tend to heal on the body.Emotional paralysis resulting from an unexpected field of acupuncture, the energy within the body, emotions, mind and contribute to improved sleep much better if they need information from us in which Reiki healing courses are sometimes used as a placebo controlled, randomised study by Vitale and O'Conner measuring the effects of western medicine, shorten healing time and place.Sometimes, you may leave feeling refreshed and relaxed.Reiki is how the energy to heal others, you can hold a position that his moment of enlightenment.

#What Can You Do With Reiki Surprising Useful Ideas #How To Use Reiki Crystal

[wopcalmetacritic]

Rolling Stone Review: The Bronx Project by Cardi B

56/100

Cardi B is one of the main girls changing the rap scene in the last few months, and now she released her first album, "The Bronx Project". Filled with - allegedly - personal tracks, the singer wanted to reach her fanbase by making them feel closer than they were beforem after hitting the top of the charts with the bouncing "Bodak Yellow". But did she?

The album opens up with a trap urban song, "Bronx Season", a short (less than 3 min) song, but with countless words and rhymes that gives it a really nice flow. The composition talks about her journey, her reputation, her independence and stardom - which is really nice, but kind of weird when it's about a newbie artist that just hit success with one song.

"Spent A Little Doe", the second song, brings up an incredible 90's vibe, reminding us some classic Lauryn Hill, Missy Elliott and even Salt-N-Pepa. Completely dated, but in some kind of good way, the song has incredible and uncredited vocals to legendary Mary J. Blige - give her the goddamn credits, Cardi.

The same 90's feeling comes up with "That Thing", featuring Beyoncé (yes, she got her credits). A extremely catchy song with woops and turns and a jamming groovy feeling, that gets tiring after three times singing it in your head. Beyoncé did great but Cardi verses are the best on the song ("Money taking and heart breaking, now you wonder why women hate men / The sneaky, silent men / The punk, domestic violence men / Quick to shoot the semen, stop acting like boys and be men").

"Whatta Man" is another dated song, straight outta 90's, but not in a good way this time. Even though Ariana really tried to save this, it's a bubblegum flash rap song that loses its fun at after 1 min and a half - it gets boring and tacky.

And we thought we'd might get some freshing new song, Cardi serves us "Queen Bitch", another song to praise her independence, her journey, her independence and fame... At another 90's dated song. The verses are great, her flow is fantastic, but the lyrical content doesn't goes far much than caressing her own ego. We got it, Cardi, you like to talk about fame while being a new girl in the stardom - who are we to judge? We'll just have to wait for the future Cardi to feel embarrassed for speaking with no property.

"Bodak Yellow", her #1 single, is the sixth single. Gangster style, in a looping hyponitc instrumental that makes you feeling yourself; it's impossible not to enjoy this, even if you're not into rap: the beat is incredible, the chorus' melody gets stuck in your head and makes you want to be just a little bit swagger like Cardi. The best song off the album so far, although it's lyrics doesn't goes that far as the subjects she talked in the previous songs.

The seventh track, "Red Barz", finally brings up the modern fresh style we've been waiting. After the smashing hit, "Bodak Yellow", we wonder why Cardi haven't released this yet - an upbeat catchy song with mid-east influences at its instrumental, and a terrific flow as Cardi speaks and curses, but, again, in a too short song - 2 minutes and 7 seconds, really? This could be a highlight but when you're getting into the song, it's over.

"Pop Off", featuring Casanova, is the eighth track, bringing up a messy instrumental as Cardi raps along with it in a fast rhyming game, in a song a bit different from the others, but still talking about how fierce she is, how big she is and that she won't take no offense home, "b****". Casanova verses lights up the song, even though the song gets annoyingly unhearable after 50% of it, due to it's extremely messy and noisy instrumental. Sounds unfinished and amateur, with a great potential lost.

Time to get some Pharrell production with "Icy Girl", the ninth track off the album. Serving Snoop Dogg realness, the song could be a pair to his classic "Beautiful" or Missy Elliott's bastard daughter. It's a great jamming song that goes along with an easy listening (and mimicking) and a nice flow - "Cash money mama that be dining in Bahamas / Eating Fettucini pasta with the scallops and the lobsters" is what you're going to get from the 1 minute song. For real, not even 2 minutes. Oh, and a classic line: "Huh, I don’t got no time for these hoes". Absolutely non-Cardi. But in the opposite way.

"Pull Up" takes the number 10 track place, in a similar song to "Bodak Yellow", but in a mediocre production and a composition that should've stayed at the demo drawers. "So much people think they know my pussy / But no one can say they fucked" is one of the verses. Just to mention. One more? "You try to play me, that's confirmation / But it's all good 'cause when you see my face / Shit don't come out like it's constipation". Let's pretend this never happened.

Pharrell is back at "The Jump Off", along with Timbaland (yes, he's alive!), in a boucing song that makes us remember from classic Missy Elliott - "Work It" - which is great, and it lifts us up after a great stumble from the previous track. A trap hip-hop track that samples "Jeeps, Lex Coups, Bimaz & Benz", uncredited as well, that doesn't gets tiring, doesn't lose it's groove and makes you entertained in a catchy chorus and a smooth verse flow. Along with "Bodak Yellow" and "That Thing", the song is one of the best off the album, no doubt about it.

Spending her pennies in a electro-influenced song, Cardi sounds unrecognizable at the chorus of "Rolling", the twelfth song from the tracklist. Unpretentious as in 90% of the songs so far, the track doesn't change much of what we've heard so far when it's about its melody and composition; it starts as a great jamming song, smooth, but it turns into flat quickly, and gets boring after the second chorus. T-Pain would be proud of this song, specially at it's vocoder-ed vocals, we must observe.

The standard version of the album closes with "Never Give Up", a duet with Josh X, a Bronx fellow to Cardi; it sounds like something Rihanna would release in 2009, probably featuring Ne-Yo or someone like it, but hey, this isn't a bad thing. Its lyrics are inspirational, almost cliché "Never give up / We're almost at the top of the hill now", and it might not the best song, not even fantastic, but it can be memorable. It's a great song to close the album, it gives you the feeling of wanting more - 'cause after all, we didn't get much highlights from this tracklist so far.

The first from the three tracks from deluxe version & Apple Music exclusive, "Hectic", is the perfect definition of a filler bonus track. Life could've go on without it, but it's not that bad; not a fan favorite, but it can be the track that a few like and enjoy when she sings it, by surprise, at a conert. The bass beat reminds us from a few previous songs of the album, keeping up the coesion of the songlist, and that's good. A point to Cardi for that!

"Leave That Bitch Alone", the second bonus track, is a apparent powerful song at first, but we get it why it wasn't picked for the standard selection of tracks when you keep listening to it: it starts like an extremely good song, but it loses its power before it reaches the chorus after the first verse. No surprises on it, it's enjoyable and probably will be a fan favorite due to its "i'm the right girl for you" vibe, which we've seen before on the album.

The last track off the record, the last bonus, "Focus", should be at the tracklist, being a hightlight on the tracklist. It plays with an insane bass beat that could easily be played out loud in cars and parties. The fierce composition makes it even better and it might serve as an empowerment song, specially to girls - "Any n**** play or disrespect me, he regret me, wish he kept me / People question how they lost me, make it hard, they can't forget me", and obviously: "Can't no n**** disrespect you, keep these h*** up in they place", to keep the Cardi style.

In an overview, Cardi B might have released a fierce strong album to show off how she won't take no trash and no negative talking, and even though she might be a new in the music game, she's not a newbie in life. And life's hard. Growing up as a black girl, in the Bronx, takes guts to fill the cup. Confidence at its best, in a ego that sounds bigger than her humility, it doesn't take much to notice that Cardi B is here to play the fame game: if you know how to spell the words fast, and make yourself as the best on it, you're gonna be praised - but what is she saying though? As the songs have a few parts about her lifestory, they lose its power by mixing up to superficial self-praising lines. Some have a really nice rhythm and you get the flow wishing you could be good at rap like her - we can't deny her amazing skills on rap and at a few writing - but the content of the songs, in its total, are most all the same: the "i'm the motherf***** fiercest b**** and you're all h***, haters" type of thing that we're tired and that should've kept with Nicki Minaj way back in 2013. She's been through "Love & Hip Hop", she got herself in a gang, she made her ways to escape poverty and violence, and we admire her for that, but if Cardi wants to show that you want to get close to the people and mostly your fans, you have to disarm yourself - i guess you wouldn't want to hurt the ones that love you, right? You don't have that much haters, Cardi, trust us when we say that. Maybe getting off the narcissism and the armed position ready for the attack would match the humble personality hardly noticed in the show-off Bronx girl songs that fought hard to be where she is now.

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

Is the threat any less powerful and successful when it a spiritual threat as apposed to a physical one?

Rev. Moon was fond of this threat, often screaming it at us during speeches at his Belvedere Estate in Upstate NY. "If you fall, or leave the church, then after you die your future descendants will go to your grave, dig up you bones and crush them into dust." Or this one, "If you fall or leave the church, God cannot protect you. Satan will invade you and your descendants. Satan will torture and punish you and your descendants for generations." 

We bought into that and most people I knew spread it around in hushed fearful whispers whenever they heard that someone fell or left the church. 

I know a beautiful soul named Steve. Steve was a kind, gentle person. He really loved God and people and wanted to make the world a better place. He met and joined the church. But it proved to be too cold and heartless for him so after a few years he left. He told me years later that after he left he kept waiting for his indemnity to catch up to him. He was constantly fearful that he would duffer some horrific fate because he left and married outside the church. 

I bet many people stayed because of that same fear of indemnity or what ordinary folks would call punishment. 

Powerful shit isn't it?

Here's a horrific story of how fear can make us slaves.

Exclusive: Woman Imprisoned in Coffin for 7 Years Has Special Message for Jaycee Dugard Comment Share Tweet Stumble Email Story contributed by Paul LaRosa, a 48 Hours Mystery producer. NEW YORK (CBS) Whenever I hear about a story like Jaycee Lee Dugard's – kidnapped at age 11 and held captive for 18 years, bearing two children with her kidnapper – I inevitably think of Colleen Stan because if anyone knows what Jaycee went through and is about to go through, it's Colleen.  Colleen is not as well-known as Elizabeth Smart or Patty Hearst but, if anything, her story is even more incredible. Everyone wants to know why someone like Jaycee or Elizabeth or Patty, all of whom had some apparent freedom, did not flee their kidnappers. Well, Colleen can tell them why. Her story is horrible but instructive. I met Colleen in 2003 when Elizabeth Smart was found alive, and I've never been able to stop thinking about her. Colleen was held by a husband and wife for seven years as a slave for sex and just about anything else the couple desired but here's the kicker – for much of that time, she lived in a coffin-sized box underneath the couple's bed!! A book was written about Colleen by a prosecutor in the case and its title fittingly is "Perfect Victim." When I met Colleen, she seemed well-adjusted. She came to the interview with her daughter, a young woman, and then calmly but articulately spun out her incredible tale. Colleen was a 20-year-old hitchhiker in 1977 when she was picked up by a young couple with a child in the back seat of their car. What could be safer, she thought? But the husband, Cameron Hooker, was a sexual sadist who took Colleen to the family's isolated trailer and raped her. The abuse got worse and worse. "He liked to whip me with whips," she told CBS News. "He had electro-shocked me. He had burned me. He had done many things." (CBS) Photo: Colleen Stan's 20th birthday. She was abducted soon after. Hooker renamed Colleen "K" and constructed a coffin-sized box with holes in it and instructed her to climb in. He then shoved the box under the couple's bed every night and kept her as his slave for the next 7 years. Colleen felt she had no control of anything. She said he told her, "I'm in control and Colleen no longer exists. You are now K. You are my slave." Hooker wrote up a contract for Colleen that "basically said that he owned me body and soul." At one point, Hooker handed Colleen a gun. "I didn't know if it was loaded or not and he told me 'this is to see if you'll do what I say,' and he told me to put the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, and I did," she said. Everything about this story is shocking and you might think that Colleen would do anything in her power to escape, and that is where her story intersects with Jaycee's because people who are totally under someone else's control – even given the opportunity to escape – do not. The brainwashing is complete. We as free individuals cannot understand it because we've never been in their situation. Some 3 1/2 years into Colleen's captivity – living in a box, being raped repeatedly – her abductor Cameron Hooker took her home for a visit with her family and left them with her overnight. She never said a word about what was going on with Hooker, and in fact went back with him the next day to live in the box again for another 3 ½ years. CBS News Correspondent Peter Van Sant was incredulous: "Why then didn't you tell them 'I've been kidnapped, tortured?' Why didn't you pick up the phone and call the police and say, 'Get here immediately. I need your help, I need your protection?'" (CBS) Colleen Stan at age 29, shortly after she was released. Colleen explained that Hooker had warned her that, if she said a word about what was going on, his "men" would storm into the house and kill her parents and her and anyone inside the instant she opened her mouth. "Because of the threats that people would come right in the house and people would be hurt," she told Van Sant. "And you believed him?" "Yes, I did." Hooker's control over Colleen was that complete. She went back to the box, and it was only because of Hooker's wife that she was eventually rescued. Hooker's wife went to the authorities at the behest of her minister. Hooker was eventually tried and sentenced to life in prison. His wife was never prosecuted under the theory that she too was abused and scared to death of her husband. Photos: The Search For Jaycee Photos: Jaycee Lee Dugard Found Alive Photos: Inside Jaycee's Terror Tent Colleen recovered after years of therapy. She is now an office manager in Northern California. I caught up with her Monday and asked her about Jaycee Dugard. Colleen said she'd been trying with no luck to get in touch with Jaycee's mother, and had met her mother on a talk show some years ago. Colleen was of course concerned about Jaycee's state of mind. "I read that she felt guilty but she should not feel that way," Collen said. "You can't be with someone 18 years and not have an attachment. I hope I get the opportunity to talk to her and tell her she did nothing wrong. She did everything right. She's alive. "I want to work with these women (Jaycee, her mother and her daughters) and help them readjust," Colleen said. "It is not easy. After being away from the world for 7 1/2 years and all of a sudden you're thrown back in the world and it's hard, very overwhelming. My heart just goes out to these women who come out of these situations. It's hard to adjust to your family situation." (CBS) Photo: Colleen Stan today. What most shocked Colleen when she came out of captivity was something you might not expect. She was surprised at how ungrateful everyone was. "I was shocked," she said. "People had nice jobs and houses and had plenty but they seemed so unhappy. They wanted more. I was coming out of a situation where I had nothing, and being exposed to these people who had so much and were unappreciative of it and complaining, I thought 'My God why don't they see how blessed they are?' "It was overwhelming at first that people don't take advantage of what they have. All I came home with were the clothes on my back. I had nothing. I was blessed with family and friends. She received therapy from Doctor Christopher Hatcher from San Francisco, who has since died. Colleen considers him her savior. "He helped me to understand that I didn't do anything wrong. I did everything right. People will ask you why you didn't do this or that and they don't know. They were not in that situation. "I had a lot of support from my family but they didn't know what to tell me so Dr. Hatcher helped me understand that people in this situation switch to survival mode. You have to do what you have to do and say to get through this situation and you shut down your emotions. I had to learn how to turn those emotions back on. "I would like Jaycee to understand that (her recovery) will not happen overnight. She'll carry around guilt, shame, anger and it will take years. I never got angry until long after (Cameron Hooker) was arrested. I did not feel safe until he was convicted because I was still afraid he would get off. "It's perfectly normal to go through these emotions." I asked her the question everyone always wants to know: why didn't you escape when you had the chance? "People don't understand all the threats made against me, my family. There's a lot more to it than just walking away. When you're sexually abused, these things solidify the fact that if you don't do what I say, I can take your life. I thought, 'What if he catches me when I try to escape?' It wasn't like I never thought about these things. I did but I never felt safe to act out on them until his wife came to me and said, 'We have to get out of here.'" Colleen is 52 years old now, and on August 9th, she celebrated the 25th anniversary of the day she was set free, enjoying a cake and celebration with her recovery group. The cake, she said, was as sweet as life is now.