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krpgossipgirl · 11 months

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tbh there’s a reason behind all the problematic topics brought up on this blog. rping wasn’t born out of kpop. or real celebrity ppl in general. before then, it was anime characters or OCs without “face claims”. krp grew in the early 2010s when most of us were underage, desperate for romance and had a lot of confusing hormones/emotions. ppl didn’t see idols as humans, more like tv characters (another big rp type then too). I’m sure there’s still teens that get into 18+ krps for the same reason nowadays too but you can’t tell me y’all haven’t noticed most of those rps are filled with ppl almost 30 y/o and full time jobs. the same ppl that helped create what krp is today when they were minors/teens. it’s how a lot of ppl socialized growing up. obviously we all know now it’s weird to be rping real ppl, that’s also why most can’t stand nonau rps. but idk if any of you have tried to rp in other circles (anime, book characters, etc) but it’s a different world. there’s a curated culture in krp that a lot of us have grown up with. I’d love it if the whole community decided to stop using celebrity faces one day but it ain’t happenin. so just don’t fetish, simple. stop caring so much about faces ffs they’re just an aesthetic of a muse, focus on the character a person has created.

as for m/m fetishization… I know I’m not the only trans dude that realized they were trans as a teen by that same medium. but bffr the critique is for y’all writing muses that are basically your cisgender female brain in a male’s body. you’re cis and you like men. you like men that are in touch with their emotions and more feminine than the standard until it comes to smut. you and every other chronically online straight adjacent woman. problem is the same as above, kpop was centered around the idea that idols weren’t humans and the entire structure of it is riddled with gay shipping. krp started with ppl rping their favorite ships exclusively. some of you still are fetishizing two real life ppl that are just coworkers and want to fantasize about them being more for your own emotional/sexual pleasure. some of you might not fetishize ships anymore but still get off on the idea of two men fucking bc you’re insecure about your femininity as a woman in the eyes of men. and some of you are just extra anti women lol. a pussy will not harm you. your muse is not going to be loved any less, be any less creative, or leave you with interactions if they have don’t have a dick. you will not be ignored and given less attention for rping a girl. but you will be ignored for your muses bland personality and character design that you’ve hid behind by signaling to other m/m fetishizers and popular fcs over the years.

I’m all for y’all tackling your issues through rp (trauma, dysphoria, problematic thoughts/interests, etc) but at some point we gotta sit down and say hey y’all cis women have been writing this gay shit for over a decade now, when you gonna ask yourself why? it’s not like trauma rping (for example) is unproblematic, but bro there aren’t entire rps of ppl without trauma rping out trauma-coping muses. there have been more boys only smut rps where 99.9% of muns are all cis women in the past 10 years than there have been m/s krps. come onnnnnn. why are you defending it, I’m sincerely curious. what about writing a/b/o with a straight couple is so unattractive to you?

any way, hi everyone please analyze how you view rping. bc I’m really tired of finding out my rp partner is living vicariously thru their muse, or only built their muse’s character based on what would bring them attention, or doesn’t have a creative reason behind their muse’s fc and it’s just the idol they think is the most attractive. I promise if y’all see rping as just collaborative creative writing about 2 characters that have no real pictures, you’ll find the best rping partners.

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lilkittie · 3 years

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Mom herself suffers from a deep shame

Deep deep shame

That she covered it up with being hella religious

Which is fake and unreal

Cause its beyond her humanity

She be wearing so wide wide things, and speaking to herself she won’t do dumb shit at her last years

Like wtf? Do we pray cause we love God or do we just don't wanna "dumb shit"?

Also it’s not only being religious that shows how shameful she’s, its so many other things I noticed

Like being a perfectionist

Which is all things she moved them to me as well!!!!!

But I be breaking the cycle.

And I’m so happy and proud of me for it.

Yup, its not only trauma and shame that my ancestors gave to me

There’s also bravery, kindness and so much more good things in my blood line

And don’t ask me how I knew, I have seen my family. Its in my genes.

Yeah mama has bravery at some points of her life as well. She would take action and take responsibility for its consequences no matter how good or bad is it

But she wasn’t brave enough to open up her wounds and face them.

And this is why, again, I was meant to break this cycle from going on again.

I have been called crazy.

I have been called that I have some bad friends who made me like this

I have been called i left my deen cause I decided to look up for truth myself and no longer believe her unbelievable standard of perfectionism that caused me shame as well

I also have been called wise

Beautiful soul and mind

And lighting up people’s dark roads

But none of this or that defined me

Yup, I would be happy hearing a nice compliment since all I have been hearing was criticism

But at the end it’s me who defines who I am

I’m at point where criticism doesn’t hurt me anymore, and my inner strong beliefs about myself never got affected

I may even respond harder than what I been told

And its not easy to be where I’m at, it takes a lot of work on oneself

So Yup, I have came a long way, and again, I’m grateful for me for it

Cause That’s the price you pay

For choosing yourself

For choosing consciousness

For choosing freedom

For choosing to be who you’re in a world that follows blindly anything

You gon be called crazy, stupid and went out of your mind

All just because you decided to be yourself.

So it’s forever my eyes that I’m gon see myself with.

Yeah, might consider some constructive criticism

But criticism just for criticism and destroy someone’s identity, nah i dont give a fuck about that

At the end, I’m not even my personality

My personality is just a gift the society and my family gave it to me

I’m my soul

Tho Every time I remember my family or I wanna talk about them, I end up talking this point and realizing I’m just here for a purpose doing

Being in this particular family serving that purpose

Going thru all of the things I went thru serving that purpose

Like I swear every time I think about my life I feel like I’m putting pieces together to a bigger picture I’m destined to

Self healing and working on myself wasn’t easy

Standing up for myself wasn’t easy

But I made it thru it all

I won every single game.

God never left me

God also used to send me people to help me

So when I’m talking about my life

I mean them people I met, family, teachers and everyone. Every single person I was destined to meet

My personality traits that I realized were a result because of my family as I discover myself

And realized there was no other way for me to be someone else

Its all beyond me. Gods plan 😀

So thank god

Thank god i have never been asleep and my eyes were usually wide open

Thank god im not that type of person who be 70 or 80 years old and say yeah now I can see it all clear

No, I see it all clear from now

Maybe I also had some very low points at my life. But it was my turning point that the light always came after

Cause I’m human dude.

I’m human who tryna be the best version of their self

And still I’m not done yet.

I mean I’m just 18 and I made all of that

Wonder how a 20 year old version of me gon be like

I still have a lot In plan.

Stay tuned :))

This is almost the best thing I wrote in a while. Put my heart, mind and soul in it.

Written in 20,July 2021

#family #family problems #realshit #unbecoming

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farnesca · 7 years

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How do you think Farnese and Casca's relationship would develop after Casca is healed based on the current point in the manga? I wonder if Casca would keep her memories of her current state? I'd love to hear your thoughts ^o^

Oh boy, what a good question! I, personally, will be Fucking Pissed if Casca doesn’t remember her experiences post-Eclipse and pre-healing. That would just be way too much of an easy out. The Eclipse was obviously the Pinnacle Of Trauma or whatever, but Casca’s been through so, so much since then. I’m working on the assumption that she does remember given the number of phallic monsters compared to the number of times men have tried assaulting her post-Eclipse. That and tiny Casca - imagery from these dream chapters has made it pretty apparent that tiny Casca represents Casca’s heart, and tiny Casca’s been there the whole time. She’s just been quiiite weak. There’s also the chapter where Casca kills a couple men even in her regressed state pretty early on, which showed that Casca is Still In There, Somewhere. Of course this could just be my “wishful” (praying for some decent writing) thinking, but, hey. Fingers crossed. I’m hopeful.

This is going to be long, so here’s a cut. This kind of ended up being a Casca post-healing character development answer more than anything, but there’s plenty of Farnesca conceptualizing in it. ;D

I’d really like to see a rough transition. Not that I want more Casca suffering time, it’s probably going to kill me, but for the sake of some spicy realism. Sure, they can go in there and piece Casca back together again after all this trauma, but they can’t just Erase the fact that she’s still been through it? She should still have to come to cope with it all. Her experiences are what’s being shown to Build Her Character. Her experiences are currently literally shaping and changing her. The Eclipse is going to be one hell of a puzzle piece to adjust herself to. If that final piece is successfully obtained (which @Miura It Best Be), I want Casca to wake up really solemn and downcast. She doesn’t talk to anyone for a long while, and if she does, it’s short questions in a quiet, rough voice. She only asks Schierke, at first. She almost brushes Farnese off, which Farnese is like, a bit hurt by. She keeps trying to help Casca with things, just on instinct, but every time she finds a sharp pair of eyes that should be so familiar but suddenly they’re not, locked with hers. She quickly remembers the new situation and leaves Casca to whatever she’s doing. She gets SO sad about it. Caring for Casca is the one thing that’s forced her along to become stronger, and it had become a second nature, and now it was ripped out from under her. She feels kinda lost.

I imagine Casca to be eating soup dinner with Schierke + Farnese + perhaps some fae folk when the boys roll in. Casca’s eyes lock on Guts. Guts’ one locks on her. There’s a beat.

“Casca,” and Guts takes a step forward. “Cas-”

Casca absolutely beams him with her soup bowl.

Scheirke ends up in a little tizzy and tells him maybe he should keep his distance for a while yet, she’s still got a lot of settling to do- cue emo Guts time. He understands, tho, sadly. They eat dinner from opposite sides of the I’m assuming fire.

It’s incredibly quiet and tense. The fae folk, sensing the Mood, have kind of given them their space. Guts is always looking at Casca, Casca’s on her defensive looking at Guts the entire time, Farnese keeps looking between them, like, “huh. Unexpected and interesting”. After Casca’s eaten, Schierke offers that she could have a bath, and they could try to find her some better clothes for her in the meantime. “That would be nice,” Casca says, still all quiet, but Guts can hear it over the fire and basically internally nuts because holy shit he hasn’t heard her talk in FOREVER. Schierke gets up and Casca goes to follow, but she pauses.

“Farnese, would you help me with my hair?”

and that’s when Farnese falls in love.

Thanks for reading my one-off fanfic blurb I hope u enjoyed

No but like, imagine her surprise? The expression on her face? Her flustered “s-sure, of course!” It’d be so cute. Farnese has been dealing with a free-spirit runaround version of Casca for quite a long time now, and it’s going to be Really weird for her to interact with her on a person-to-person level and basis. It’s so awkward for the both of them- “We’ve both seen each other naked a ton of times, but only just now is it actually a reality we have to deal with” type shit. “We’re best friends but also know very little about each other actually as people actually, only small weird habits.” It’s hilarious but oh so painful. Farnese helps Casca wash her hair. Casca instructs Farnese on how she’d like it cut - very short, “like it used to be.” Like Farnese has never seen it before. Bonding moment.

Casca has many soft moments with Farnese after her healing (Farnese helps Casca get acclimated again, Farnese fills Casca in on some things to help her better understand all the shit they’ve been thru, they tell each other about their lives, Farnese petitions Serpico to help Casca in her training b/c she wants to get back in shape, in the long-term Casca teaches Farnese about the sword and takes her turn protecting Farnese which is beautiful and gay) but hard ones with Guts.

I want Casca to be SO mad at Guts. She does have a moment where she has a heart-to-heart with him, but it’s short. She Understands. She’s Thankful. She’s also Fucking Pissed, and she needs space to sort that out. She needs space to sort a LOT out. When she’s ready to come back and regard Guts as a friend and kick ass, it’ll be with a smile and a readied sword.

Please @Miura, I need Casca to recognize how women have been the ones to take good care of her in her time of need. Erica, Luca and her girls (Nina kind of sucked but whatever), and Farnese have been her Best caretakers in her regressed state - treated her like a person, greatly concerned with her wellbeing and protecting her, didn’t tie her up and drag her around when she was difficult, etc. Before her regression the only girl we saw her actually interact with was Charlotte, crybaby gf of the dude she loved for years that never loved her. The only other scene was with all the adoring girls at that little parade thing and Casca was so cute and flustered. Suddenly when Casca comes to she’s smacked in the face with how all these women she didn’t even KNOW cared for her the best of anyone. She realizes how she’s just been a pawn and a plaything for all these men she’s crossed paths with. Casca realizes this and has an inner lesbian revolution, thanks.

Thanks so much for sending an ask!!! I think I’ve gone on long enough. I have ideas for the whole, “her wish may be different than yours” forewarning bullshit that I almost broke into, but I think that’s for a different time in a different place.

Reminder to anyone that made it this far that my inbox is always open~

#gyrosteelballs #admin post #ask #farnesca #realtalk

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