#dragging this post out of my drafts for shizaya day hi guys

[azumasoroshi]

shizuo is like the anti-isekai protagonist. gets hit by trucks but refuses to die from it. the trucks die actually. i'd believe that there's a whole slew of universes that were expecting a young japanese man to appear in their basic european lookin ass fantasy world where the only significant inhabitants are pretty women but instead of shizuo they get the truck as the protagonist and it actually sorta works out for the better somehow

there's at least one world where a train is the protagonist because shizuo somehow managed to live getting hit by one (i can recall at LEAST one fanfic where this happened, even if he did get amnesia)

anyway au where shizuo actually does die to getting hit by like. a plane or something and the inhabitants are like "oh thank god, our neighbor universes have been getting the weirdest protagonists of late but at least you look normal"

and then izaya falls from the sky a good mile away and the inhabitants are like. god. fuck. this is why we cant have nice things

the isekai world with a generic harem cast, generic villain, and generic magic system so boring that izaya takes it upon himself to become a better villain and uses the barebones magic system in creative and deadly ways no one else has ever heard of PURELY to fuck with shizuo (he doesn't consider these people "human" per say, because they have such limited emotional capacity, but he tries to prod at their limits anyway)

and shizuo making connections with all the people as he did in ikebukuro and acting like a normal protagonist for the most part because there's nothing to really trigger his rage, EXCEPT for when izaya comes around and shizuo immediately starts throwing hands, but people don't look at shizuo weirdly for it anymore because he's the chosen one and he's expected to be inhumanly strong

izaya calls shizuo a monster as per usual but the townspeople actually start defending shizuo and saying izaya's the real monster and with that izaya's basically lost all his power and it's driving him NUTS

shizuo slowly, grudgingly coming to terms with the fact that this really isnt so different from his ikebukuro life and that izaya is the spice to his life. he also gets weirdly defensive when people other than him start talking shit about izaya but that's neither here nor there

meanwhile izaya's been trying to figure out how to get back to the real world because he'll go insane if he has to talk to literal NPCs (who will do his bidding, but in the most boring way possible?? where's the fun in not having to watch his back) for more than five minutes

izaya figures out a way to go back but it involves something that he really doesn't want to do and also shizuo so he is having a very bad month

idk where to go from here but. maybe ill write a draft sometime or draw random scenes cuz this sounds fun i love writing satirically cliche fiction

#shizaya #dragging this post out of my drafts for shizaya day hi guys #i installed a website blocker so i can only be on tumblr + twitter combined for a total of one hour #so i have to speedrun my post writing process now lmAO #shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #durarara