#don't tag as q slur

[zephyrfuse]

Splatoon is for the queers happy pride

#shosh #don't tag as q slur #or i eat you

[crimeronan]

basically my standards for gay/trans media these days are that it has to be something i'd still enjoy even if none of the characters were gay or trans. bc otherwise the whole thing is a waste of my fucking time. in 2012 i was so starved for gay representation that i'd consume anything that so much as mentioned queerness just to feel less alone but that's not the world we live in anymore and i don't want to go back to that world and i would be miserable continuing to pretend that gayness is the pinnacle of good writing in 2023 it feels so.... gross. i like being spoiled with a rapturous amount of gay content to choose from and plenty of the gay content i DON'T like is beloved by other queer people and i don't have to love every gay narrative or pretend to. so i'm no longer touching any shit that doesn't do the kind of cool storytelling that compels me. i did my years in the trenches.

#unlikely to ever finish aftg partially for this and partially bc i really only wanted to participate in fandom and #my experiences with the fandom and its discourse put me off it like. yeah actually i dont want to be involved with any of this #eta: please don't tag this post q slur. i'd rather you simply didn't reblog it.

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!! #i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person! #this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!! #it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!! #please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me'' #im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay'' #about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me. #i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine. #you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer. #none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

[breelandwalker]

Listen, I don't know what pearl-clutching queerphobic parent needs to hear this, but seeing as decades of constant exposure to depictions of hetero romances and relationships being touted as "normal" or "default" in media hasn't turned every queer person straight, acknowledging the existence and normality of queer relationships isn't going to turn your straight kid queer.

Indoctrination is the patriarchal Moral Majority's game plan, not ours. You're just pissed off that it's not working. Because that's not how it WORKS.

Sincerely,

An Elder Queer

#lgbtq #just something that was rattling around in my head yesterday #also queer is not a slur - get over it. if you don't personally like it don't use it. #but quit tagging discussions of queer issues with 'q slur' and get the boot out of your mouth.

[colorizedmeme]

Questions for 🏳️‍🌈GAY AF MUSES🏳️‍🌈

🍓 Have they ever fallen for someone straight?

🍌 What do "gay thoughts" look like for them?

🍆 Do they maintain an active sex life?

🍒 Would they ever want to get married?

🥑 Do they pass for straight, or do people take them for gay at a glance?

🫐 Give us a song that describes something about their sexuality.

🍇Do they hang out with a lot of other LGBT people? Is this a conscious decision?

🍎 How do they flirt with the same sex?

🍏 How do they react to flirting from the same sex?

🍉 Do you try to stick to a canon muse's OG sexuality, or switch it up?

🍍 Has this muse's sexuality changed over the course of playing them?

🍑 For research purposes, do they top or bottom? Exlusively, or preferentially?

🍋 Have they ever dealt with homophobia? If so, how?

🍉Is a gay muse easier or difficult to write for you?

#rp memes #munday memes #pride memes #symbol memes #emoji memes #colorizedmeme #don't tag as q slur/f slur

[ndntighnari]

Last posts are dying off pretty quick Again so here we are, but:

Hi, I'm Ko, I'm a native queer artist who needs help financially. I live with my mother who is on disability, her boyfriend, and our two cats. I'm trying to save up for a driver's license (180 CAD) and for funds to get my own place (???? Unsure how much that'll cost). I also have regular expenses like cat food and litter, and food for myself.

I currently accept digital art commissions both flat rate and sliding scale, and do payment plans for those who can't afford all at once.

I need a license so I can actually start college courses and get a job placement, because the program I plan on going into is a 40 minute drive away, and I can't rely on Uber or Lyft for that as we don't have rideshare in town, and taxis are insanely expensive.

If you only have a couple bucks to spare even, it'd be really appreciated. If you can't, even a reblog will help a ton. Because I'm in Canada I don't have v*nmo or c*shapp, so below is the only stuff I have other than my k0-fi which is in my pinned. Thanks!

P*ypal

E-transfer (Dm for email)

(And I can't believe I have to say this, but don't trigger tag this post?)

#crowdfunding #fundraising #commissions #mutual aid #native artist #queer artist #don't fucking tag this HELP POST with q-slur

[disastergay]

feeling salty tonight, so have some banners

#queer discourse #queer erasure #queerphobia #don't tag my posts as q slur #free banners #free to use #eyestrain tw

[transmascrage]

Get a load of the idiot in the transandrophobia tag who can't even bother to scroll down and see the posts about a trans man getting murdered.

#'don't argue with me this isn't discourse' bye then? you walked into my house and asked me to not invade your space #'also i don't tag q-slur before the truthers attack me' none of us do dumbass #these last few days I've been fuming because of malte's death #and the fact I've found a dozen posts talking about him and that's it #transandrophobia #i hope it shows up right above it so i can shit on its head

[crabussy]

robin are you getting gay discourse in your inbox

turns out putting the word queer in a post that would inevitably blow up was a great way to make people ridiculously furious over things that barely matter or were a problem in the 1970s

#ITS SUCKING #people are in here like 'don't use the q slur' #my esteemed colleagay. almost every word we use for ourselves was at one point a slur #if we don't reclaim them and use them with ease and comfort they WILL be used as weapons against us #ask tag #fren tag #it's like calling gay the g slur #or homosexual the h slur

[dogmotifz]

favorite type of blogger on here are the people who post slurs 24/7 and then get mad when other users trigger tag the slurs

#'dont tag as q/f/d slur' then don't post them? 😭

[transmasc-malewife]

love being transgender. love other trans people. I'm in love with you all. kisses on the forehead for all of you. happy pride to the transgenders, the transsexuals and queers.

#tag this as q slur and i kill you. literally dont reblog it if you don't like it #happy pride #trans #transgender #anywho I need top surgery so bad. tempted to get a college loan and spend it on top and bottom surgery. and facial masculinizing surgery. #t4t

[ask-artsy-oncie]

I gotta outline the problems I have with terminally online people being so damn adamant about putting terms like “TME” or “transmisogyny exempt” in their bios, because as much as I just wanna yell “fuck off with that shit” at the people who insist on making this a thing, I haven’t really found a post wrapping up all the problems with this in an easy to understand way. And that’s a problem of its own, because people are so fucking afraid and otherwise discouraged from questioning any new “progressive” online discourse stance that gains traction and risk getting ostracized from the communities they’ve come to depend on.

For those people, have some food for thought.

Firstly, aside from like some people of color denoting that they’re white-passing (which is an entirely different bag of worms), the vast majority of abouts, bios, what have yous that denote your identity Do Not contain a disclaimer list of your privileges. Saying shit like “transmasc, TME” is about as “redundant” (I’ll get to that) as saying “able-bodied, able-minded, ableism exempt” and therefore unnecessary. Except it’s not just unnecessary - and this is likely why some people so deep into discourse culture insist on using it - it serves to downplay your experiences as a trans person and feeds directly into oppression olympics politics.

If your marginalized identity has to constantly be paired with “I don’t actually have it as bad as these other marginalized people though”, you’re creating an unconscious divider between yourself and people who are actually in a decently similar boat that you are, as well as creating a reminder of “I don’t actually have it that bad” which very quickly evolves into “my experiences as a marginalized individual aren’t valid enough” and that can lead to “so it’s okay if I start getting excluded from communities I thought I was supposed to belong in”. It’s a divisionist, exclusionist method of thinking and serves to weaken our community, whether the people participating in this practice aim to do so or not.

And even if all that wasn’t an issue, the practice shouldn’t even have legs to stand on because no the fuck you’re not exempt from transmisogyny because that’s not how bigotry actually works. Bigotry, in real life, does not attack based on how you identify, for the most part, it attacks based on how you are perceived. Believe it or not, cishet and straight trans people are not exempt from being affected by homophobia. Cishet and cis gay people are not exempt from being affected by transphobia. There are many more examples I could give but I’d start derailing. Point is, marginalized people, ESPECIALLY queer people, have SO many overlapping experiences based on how they’re perceived by their oppressors - and it’s why dividing up the community so staunchly is a bad thing.

If you’re transmasc and visibly aren’t performing your gender properly (which HEAVILY varies from bigot to bigot so don’t even bring passing privilege into this) and are attacked for it, you don’t actually know if it was transmisandry or transmisogyny at play just because YOU know how YOU identify. And your online discourse buddies don’t know, either, no matter what they try to tell you. That’s just the reality of how marginalization works.

Please, just stop drinking this koolaid. For the sake of yourself and others. For the sake of being real about how the world works. Just label yourself as transmasc and literally anyone who is capable of critical thought can then go “hm, it’s probable that they don’t have the exact 1:1 life experiences a trans woman does” if that thought’s even applicable. I’m begging yalls to give this one some more thought before digging your heels in.

#lgbt #transgender #transmasc #transmisogyny #tme #I'm debating on whether or not I want this to be rebloggable #Like fine but also I'm blocking anyone who tries to clown on this post or debate me in my askbox #also do not fucking tag this as 'q slur'. blacklist the actual word 'queer' if you don't like it asshole.

[ankoku-jin]

Here’s one of my favorite stories:

The used bookstore we would frequent in college (this was a VERY long time ago) was run by a self-identified capital-D Dyke. She had a picture of her and her partner by the register, and some str8 lady tried to pull that ‘Gals being Pals’ shit on her.

She looked right at the lady and said, in the most deadpan tone possible: “She’s my lover. I fuck her.” Completed the transaction without another word and the shell-shocked lady just kind of walked on out in a daze. It was the funniest shit ever, and it kind of became a catch-phrase for  our little group of baby queers at the time. Just. Legendary

#I am NOT tagging this as 'd-slur' for the same reason I don't do that 'q-slur' bullshit #you don't like the word you block the fucking word #but don't you dare tell others they can or cannot use it for themselves and their commnunity

[e-the-village-cryptid]

Hey I’m also queer and I use it as an identity label. I don’t agree with people excessively trigger tagging it when it’s not necessary, but I’d really suggest you educate yourself on its history as a slur. I am a gay trans man, so this is absolutely not terf rhetoric from me. But I was called queer in a derogatory way my entire life because I lived in a rural area where it was absolutely used as a slur. Maybe consider that ppl asking for trigger tags are also LGBT and not your enemy lol

Like go ahead and isolate yourself from other queer ppl all you want but just bc some ppl are genuinely triggered by the term doesn’t mean they’re attacking you for using it, lmfao

I know you probably mean well by this ask, and I see where you're coming from. I disagree, but I will give a good faith answer in return.

To understand where I'm coming from, let's compare the words queer and gay. Both words originally referred to general sexual deviancy in a pejorative sense, only later being reclaimed as proudly worn identities. Both words have been used as slurs for a long time afterwards, queer being more popular in the mid 20th century and gay gaining popularity as a slur in the later 20th into the 21st century.

I know way more queer people in real life who have a complicated relationship with the word gay than the word queer because gay was the word that was slung at them as an insult and a weapon their entire childhood. Gay was The insult of the 80s, 90s, and 00s. Anything bad, or weak, or stupid was "gay". There were whole campaigns to try to stop the use of gay as an insult, that's how bad it got. It's given a lot of people a lot of pain connected with the word.

But I have never, ever, seen someone tag a post "g slur". Why? Two words, both initially pejorative, both reclaimed, both continuously used liberally by those who hate us as a slur and an insult. Isn't it interesting how the more inclusive of those two words was targeted in a concentrated effort that started just a few years ago in terf communities? Isn't it interesting how the more narrow, less inclusive word, despite being the one more recently used as a slur and insult, despite the people in the community who still flinch when they hear it, was simply left alone?

To be clear, I don't think that we should be trigger tagging gay, or starting some "gay is a slur!" movement. I'm just pointing out parallels and questioning why the attitude towards two words with similar histories are so vastly different.

Educate myself on its history? I know it was used as a slur. So was gay, so was lesbian, so was every goddam word we have ever used to describe ourselves because it is not the words they find disgusting, it is us. Queer has been reclaimed and used in a neutral or positive way for decades and decades.

Context matters. "you dirty queer" = slur "I went to the queer student group meeting last week" = not a slur "ew that's so gay" = slur "I came out as gay when I was 16" = not a slur

No one is denying that queer has been and can still be used as a slur. But this specific "queer is a slur in any context!" movement legitimately did come out of terf communities in the last few years. I'm not accusing you of being associated with terfs. But "queer is a slur and triggering no matter how it's used" is terf rhetoric, and they've managed to spread it beyond their community. To claim that a word that has been reclaimed for decades and used in a neutral-to-positive context is a slur is disingenuous, and they know it, but they've successfully gotten other people to parrot it by hiding it under a layer of false concern.

One final thought: I have literally never seen anyone ask for queer to be tagged because they personally are triggered by the word. It's always people speaking on behalf of some hypothetical person who can't stand to even see my identity written out in a neutral-to-positive context. And if anyone really is so genuinely triggered by the term that they can't even stand to read it, they can just filter the post content, tumblr lets you do that.

#also i don't see people who tag my posts with 'q slur' as my enemy i just silently block them and i've said that #because it upsets me and i don't want to deal with that #if people can be upset by the word queer and not want to deal with that #then i can be upset by them saying my identity is a slur and not want to deal with that #do i think they're attacking me for calling myself queer? no #do i want to deal with people parroting regressive terf rhetoric that only emerged recently? also no #i just block and move on. i've made that boundary clear and i've never been mean to anyone about it #ask tag #queer #an e original

[faeriekit]

I've never heard of Tandi Iman Dupree before this moment. My eyes have been opened, my crops watered, my face cleared, because that performance was amazing.

And with an equally beautiful chapter to accompany. Conner deserves all the praise in the world 💜

Rest in peace, Tandi Iman! I try to bring up out-of-date queer history stuff where I can because a lot of it gets lost to time and a lack of visibility. Who tells your story when you're ostracized from your family and larger community? Who repeats your jokes? Uploads your old photocopied zines to become memes? Archives your old home films? Who retells your stories at dinner parties when only close friends know your private name? Well, I don't know, but you and I can while we're here.

I figured that if I wanted to add a chapter to a DC-based fic and toss in Holding Out For A Hero, I could go all the way in about it 👀 And who doesn't want to see the glow-up from an outside POV??

#also don't tag this as 'q slur' I say what I mean #faer nonsense

[queen-mabs-revenge]

tagging a post about dismantling pinkwashing with 'q slur' i swear to fuck i will bite and kill

#genuinely fucking enrages me #if an op is comfortable enough with the word queer to use it freely in a post don't fucking tag the post 'q slur' #jesus fucking christ get a fucking clue