#didn't think they were Kicking In for a while cause i wasn't feeling Happy™️ but then someone asked how i was doing last month

[vulpinesaint]

meds working is like. finding myself laughing at something. smiling big. crying easy cause i can feel again. anything beautiful or even vaguely sentimental sparks tears and sometimes it's such a ridiculous thing to cry at that i have to laugh again. not remembering the last time i felt really bad when i used to not remember the last time i felt really happy. saying that i'm doing alright and it's a good thing and not another way to say that i'm not doing well. things can be tough but overall i'm alright. things are alright. things are okay. driving with the windows down in late summer is fun and december's early nights are nice, actually, and maybe i just need to get out of bed and shower to feel less icky. i had a rough time today but it's not the end. happiness is not always transcendent. things are alright.

#everywhere i turn nowadays it's like. wow. the meds are working. #third month on medication and gosh haha #being treated for it and having it get better is an Insane way to finally accept that it was actually depression </3 #can't stop talking about it though cause!!!!!! !!!!!!! #didn't think they were Kicking In for a while cause i wasn't feeling Happy™️ but then someone asked how i was doing last month #and i went in to assess my mental state to offer an honest evaluation but like. i was okay. genuinely doing okay. #which. huh. #i'm like. things are fine :) #suddenly the convo i had with my dorm neighbor about contentment being a good thing and not Settling For Not Bad makes sense 😭 #who was gonna tell me that i was mentally ill. #anyway y'all have been living like this the whole time?? the world is so much more manageable #not Y'all. i know the people reading this. but the general population #valentine notes