#didn't even find the body

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.

If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.

#fitness #gentle reminders #i hate hate hate the idea that fitness must be done Intentionally and in a Hegemonic Way #like... fitness is whatever you make of it and whatever you do #your body isn't going to be like 'well you walked for fove minutes but you didn't do shoulder presses at the gym so it doesn't count 😊' #if you want more specific forms of fitness then SURE you might want to do more specific exercises and activities #but if your goal is overall movement for however much if your body then... you don't Need to be THAT specific #and your goals may be specific for only parts of your body and that's GREAT! #a wheelchair user may for example do more arm exercises so they can use a manual chair for instance... #...and to many people i've noticed they don't think it 'counts' because the chair user isn't using 'all' of their body... #...but it's like... using your arms in non-powered chairs can be really important so like. it's still fitness. #you don't actually have to equally focus on everything if you don't want to or can't #all this to say that fitness is Not hegemonic and you don't need to feel shame about what you do or don't do #even a tiny tiny TINY amount is significant and matters <3 #this is definitely something i've gotten more passionate about since becoming a ~gym bro~ #because you see just how different people are and what they want out of fitness #and it's taught me a lot more about my own disabilities and how i work with (and even against) them to find balance #this is what i love about those fitness video games too! because they're often made to be engaging and fun! #i LOVED just dance as a kid and that was fitness merging with video games (and i loved video games (still do!)) #and i HIGHLY recommend people get video games like just dance or that one nintendo ring game because of these elements! #it combines the comfort of home with movement with engaging music/story/video game elements #and things like that make me believe in peace and love and care on planet earth <<3

[jakes3resin]

Here's why Hallucination Bucky haunting Buck is amazing (there are many reasons but here's a big one): Bucky doesn't even have to be dead.

Sure, Bucky being dead works perfectly in this kind of AU. The inability to save Bucky leaves Buck bereft and alone in the world, so he holds on to the memory of Bucky so tightly he starts to see him again.

But!

The ambiguity of is Bucky dead or not is better. The reader doesn't know for sure, and Buck doesn't know. Hell the fic writer doesn't even need to know for sure. Leave that ending open y'all!

Buck having to go through his day swearing that Bucky is alive. He's fine. Bucky has to be fine. Him being fine is the only reason Buck can power through his day. He won't accept anything else until someone brings him Bucky's body.

And that can do a lot to a man's psyche.

Imagine it. Buck standing around Thorpe Abbotts after reassuring Harry and Rosie that Bucky is fine, he's simply back with the men taking care of them. Then he hears it. Bucky's laugh. He whirls around desperate and near joyous because of course Bucky made it out, of course he's laughing and about to yell at Buck to get his attention. Except what he finds isn't the John "Bucky" Egan that he left in Germany.

Instead, he turns around and sees the John he sent to London. Standing straight backed with cheeks that haven't gone through a diet of turnips and 'rabbit' soup, still wearing that awful sheepskin that Buck knows he traded away (Jack had given it back to him the moment he saw Buck) is His Bucky.

Arm raised to wave at Buck, Bucky grins. His smile is as bright as the sun, another spark of life Buck hasn't seen in months. Maybe years.

Bucky looks so young. Which he can't be because Bucky is older than him, but staring at this Bucky that no one else seems to realize is there that's what crosses Buck's mind. Bucky looks young. He looks happy and untouched by the hell they just went through together.

"Hey Buck!" Bucky's by his side without walking to him. "How was your flight? Ya miss me?"

And he falls into step once more with Buck chattering into his ear. Buck knows he isn't real, knows that Bucky isn't here, but he can't help but accept what little he has left of the other when he has no idea when or if he'll ever see Bucky again.

Because without a body, he has to live as if Bucky is still alive.

#hahahaha I'm evil sorry #Hallucination!Bucky #theres just so much you can do with this au #you dont even have to end the piece with Bucky alive and well you could end before you find out! #am i writing this post because a storm knocked my power out so i can't work on a/b/o fic? yeah but i didn't need the storm #mota #masters of the air #buck x bucky #john bucky egan #gale buck cleven #bucky egan #buck cleven #buckbucky #you could also end the piece with Buck recieving Bucky's dog tags from one of the liberated pows #you know the closest someone can get to his body as proof 😈

[mustangs-flames]

i’m very curious on mark and cesar’s queer awakenings

i love your writing so much eating it like i have been starved by the cia via torture methods and this is the only thing i’ve eaten in weeks

Sure thing!!

Cesar: For Cesar it was at a friend's birthday party when he was 13. Kids hopped up on sweets and sugary drinks, playing spin the bottle and the person it landed on didn't want to kiss the boy who spun it. Cesar decided he would be the one to kiss the boy and wouldn't you know it, he enjoyed kissing a boy just as much as any girl lmao

Mark: For Mark, it was a boy in choir at his church when he was 11. They weren't really friends and Mark was too shy to really talk to him, so he just sort of sat and pined from afar and tried not to get too red in the face whenever he had to sit next to him in the chancel stalls. That boy moved away when Mark was 12 and Mark never saw him again.

#hail true body #mustang answers! #htb mark owens #htb cesar hernandez #and then mark and cesar just sort of filled in the gaps for one another and were perfectly fine with that #they were best friends and brothers and they were each other's 'person' #as in the one person either could trust with anything and everything #for mark. cesar was the only person to know he was gay. because cesar didn't judge him for it #the reeds were very clear on how much of a 'sin' being gay was. so mark was terrified of them ever finding out #even then. cesar never found out about mark being queer until they were both 16

[liltaz-asatreat]

I don't remember if I ever made a post about this, but for a long time I thought Griffin made up the whole clone pod thing to give Barry an excuse to get his body back again and then eventually also Magnus, and that that was a cool little world building thing. But I found out a while go that no, apparently it's a real spell called Clone from the Player's Handbook. 8th level necromancy wizard spell.

Also, it takes specifically 120 days for a body to form completely, which means that technically, Barry could have popped into his body again since before Petals lol

In the spell description, it also says that you can make the body younger, and I love the fact that he had that option but chose to keep himself the same age anyway

Also, since Magnus first gave Garfield his blood during the interlude before Crystal Kingdom, technically his body would have been ready since around the Eleventh Hour, and Garfield decided to just hold on to it for another few months without doing anything with it lmao

OH SHIT WAIT-

GRIFFIN THOUGHT MAGNUS WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CHALICE AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE DURING THE MISSION TO GET IT BACK FROM HIM

HE SPECIFICALLY MADE IT SO THAT IF HE DID DIE, MAGNUS' BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN READY TO GO THEN TOO

Man I love how that whole arc played out in canon, but I so wish we had gotten to know what would have happened if Magnus did take the Chalice and how that would have played out

#With Magnus' body being ready by TEH though; that also means Garfield requesting his sideburns was him just being a dick lmfao #I also love how it's been about 2 years since I've started listening to this show and have relistened to Balance countless times #and even now I can still find new things to think about it and also read other people's thoughts that I've never considered before #oh; also; I just realized that I didn't clarify how I knew specifically when shit would have happened; but I don't think it's that #important to add to the post #if someone asks; I'll reblog with the answer or maybe just make a whole new post about it; but essentially I figured out the rough timeline #of when all of the arcs happened canonically based on the offhand comments Griffin made about how long it's been between arcs #which; figuring out when Petals happened was a fucking nightmare because he didn't specify how long it had been since Rockport or Midsummer #and I kept missing how long he said it was between Crystal Kingdom and Petals; but I eventually did catch that and figured it out #and gang; it is a *long* stretch of time between Rockport and Petals lol #taz #taz balance #barry bluejeans #magnus burnsides

[gideonisms]

ngl having bad brain times. Can you ever physically FEEL the lack of the get things done chemical

#the advice for depression is to do the things that you used to enjoy and wait for them to help again #it's good advice and it does work to an extent but listen #i don't choose when i find things enjoyable i fixate on a topic and everything becomes enjoyable again #it's not like doing hobbies or reading or cleaning or eating meals helps THAT much #it just keeps me busy and sane and makes my body keep working until i get some good brain chemical shipped in #then I'll remember everything i've been putting off but at least i'll be relatively functional at that point #it's not that all the depression tips are useless. i'd be much worse if i didn't do any of them #as it is i've made it over 25 years without even developing a nicotine addiction or a crippling dependence on alcohol #my joints are even still fine mostly and i can tell when to get out of a situation so i can keep living #now i even know when i want to be around someone and when i don't! #i'm basically great at existing i've studied with the masters #still.

[goldkirk]

question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?

#i'm trying to figure out which doctor appointments I want to bother making and spending money about for potentially no return on investment #and right now i'm trying to figure out if I'd get way more practical help from a dietician or if I need to suck it up and find a #not-elderly not-male not-dismissive GI doctor first and THEN see a dietician #although I cannot afford a bunch of tests #so like??? #trying to figure out if a dietician would be more helpful overall with me not HAVING any GI diagnoses or eating disorders #and just really struggling with food in both sensory ways and unpredictable digestion ways that don't correlate with food allergies #god i sometimes wish i had food allergies so i could have some predictability #but yeah. i'm leaning towards dietician but figured i should crowdsource experiences #since I know a lot of you have health issues you've also been trying to manage for years and probably have good advice #if it helps i'm also in a major city now and have a decent-but-not-great health insurance plan so I'm good on those two fronts #to do #health #I know a dietician can't diagnose anything but I'd love help figuring out how to get maximum nutrition even when i can barely eat anything #or when my body decides to start getting sick from or (tw emetophobia) puking up fiber or fatty foods #which thankfully isn't often #now that I do cannabis daily in microdosing I have so much less pain and bloating and nausea #but when it hits it HITS #and the last time I tried going without cannabis for a couple days and then eating a fiber muffin I was sick six times in one morning #and didn't get my normal eating ability back until dinnertime #luckily that's not normal for me #but my issues bounce up and down so much #and I lose weight so fast whenever my appetite goes from 'barely ever there' to 'negatively nonexistent' #and I had like. two months last year where I think i reached my body's natural healthy set weight #and i needed so much food but it felt so good energy wise and temperature wise #and i'd like to STAY THERE FFS #and I feel like a dietician would be helpful for making meal options for good #*good and hard and nuclear alert level eating difficulty times #anyway. crowdsourcing. yay!

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0 #Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread #Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers #Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha #The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax! #Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!! #It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!! #Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u; #Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to - #Until it comes to his eye #Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/ #It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh #For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear #It's so sad ;; And so well done <3 #And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl #Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :') #Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it #Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone? #''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really #Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔 #That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :) #I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol) #I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers! #Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally #Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose

[crown-ov-horns]

I hate being cynical about my faves but... Every mother has her favorites I guess

At the same time, in Apocalypse, she did turn to Madison first

#ahs #american horror story #ahs coven #cordelia goode #zoe benson #queenie #madison montgomery #nan #ahs meme #ahs fandom #memes #ahs apocalypse #i wonder why she had madison investigate michael and not zoe #i guess she needed zoe and queenie at the academy #and the mission needed a stone cold b #madison is much more likeable in apocalypse than she is.... well mostly in the end of coven #even a great mother like cordelia has her favorites #i guess she could never find out what happened to nan #nan was thriving in hell at least #and why didn't she try to kill madison? kyle and spalding hid the body... maybe that's why #or because madison refused to revive zoe

[general-cyno]

Having a lot of feels and thoughts abt stamp Nai's relationship with Rem so here I go.

I know Nai's yandere brocon behavior tends to overshadow other parts of his character in the anime, but the idea that he hates Rem out of jealousy bc of Vash's love for her isn't really it imo or at the very least not entirely. Nai is... a very contradictory character and as a narrator he's unreliable as hell, his perception of events is deliberately distorted (from a narrative standpoint, I mean) and warped by trauma and the beliefs he clings to as a result of it.

As far as the childhood flashbacks in tristamp are concerned, there's no indication that Nai felt insecure or envious of Vash's relationship with Rem and they both interacted with her in equal measure (which I actually found interesting bc in the manga, we only see Rem talking to Vash abt the geraniums, in tristamp they're both present) previous to the discovery of Tessla, that is. And there's still mostly a blank space within the aftermath of Tessla and Nai causing the Fall that we know nothing about aside from that brief conversation between Vash and Nai in ep 11.

Albeit his personality as a kid is pretty different from his manga counterpart's, you can still see that Nai was happy with Vash and Rem in ship 5 and he even got all shy/flustered when she was affectionate towards them.

Idk but that doesn't look like a child who actively resents or fights his mother for his brother's attention. And curiously enough, while the piano (and the duet) is Nai's direct link to Vash, it is ironically his tie to Rem as well. It is imo perfectly framed here in these shots and dialogues from ep 11:

(Note how Nai avoids answering Vash's question here and deflects by bringing up the memory of Tessla.)

That's the piano Nai plays in ep 9 during the duet flashback, and here the three of them are framed directly in front of it AND the flowers. If the geraniums are used as a symbol of Vash's connection to Rem, you can probably see where I'm going here when the piano - which is mostly Nai's thing throughout the story - is shown this way. I have more to say abt this ep but I'll go back to that in a bit.

In ep 9 we get the most blatant lines from Nai depicting his possessiveness toward Vash and his resentment not for Luida as an individual, but what she represents - a Rem-like, human figure in Vash's life that keeps his brother from choosing Nai's side. Nai doesn't know Luida, and he very likely had no idea Vash was staying in ship 3 (Conrad himself was surprised to see her) so when he says you witch, how many times? how many times will you steal him from me? He's not seeing Luida - he's seeing Rem. Which is emphasized by the fact that, previous to that, Vash himself mentioned Rem by name when he retaliated against Nai and tried to stop him from his attempt to kill Luida.

"So that means he resents Rem bc she takes Vash away from him!" Yes... but that's not all of it. Imo, part of the betrayal Nai feels everytime Vash chooses humans over him is, in a way, an extension and amplified version of the betrayal he likely felt when Rem herself chose not to take his hand and escape with them during the fall. Whether him reaching out to her was genuine or not is up for interpretation, but considering that we never saw Knives in the manga do the same - to me, that's a very deliberate addition in tristamp's writing.

As for Nai feeling betrayed by Rem's choice... You have to understand that from Nai's pov, Rem hid the gruesome truth abt Tessla, and discovering her mutilated body probably put a lot of things into a very different perspective for him. Being registered on the same database as his Alive But Torn Apart Sister (with Vash's info ominously saved in the same folder as hers) who was kept in the same room as the ornamental flowers mixed up with Rem's insistance that Nai should pretend to act human/hide his powers from the other crewmembers in a hypothetical/future situation must've seemed extremely grim in retrospective, even if Rem was very likely doing that to keep him safe. Still, he offered his hand to her and Rem chose to stay and save humans instead. The same humans that had, from Nai's pov, hurt his sister and would've probably done the same to him and his brother.

Which brings me back to ep 11 and this bit in specific:

Read above then read this dialogue again, remember that Nai is (among other things) the king of projecting his issues onto Vash, and well. Shit starts making a lot of sense. Another thing that's worth noticing in this scene is that, throughout the memory manipulating, Nai wears just his bodysuit. It's only when confronted with the memory of Rem and erasing her from Vash's mind (killing her, again) that he hides behind the blade-cloak. Very interesting and deliberate visual choices.

Also important to point out that Nai's paradise free of pain, fear and humiliation is one that's a replica of the garden back on ship 5. Even after doing his best to erase Rem from Vash's memory, the safe and happy place that he desperately wants to go back to is that in which they both lived with her.

Despite his very ehem. questionable methods, I do think Nai is genuine in his wish to protect Vash and liberate their sisters and that yes, he does resent Rem or rather, what Rem represents when it comes to his relationship with Vash. Thing is, Nai tends to downplay his own feelings, bottling shit up and using Vash as conduit for hardcore projecting.

Imo, Nai doesn't resent Rem bc Vash loves her. He resents that her beliefs and her sacrifice for humanity's sake were imprinted so deeply into Vash's being that he keeps doing the same - choosing humanity over Nai, even to his own detriment. Nai keeps losing Rem and Vash to humanity again and again and he hates it, but the most tragic part of it is that it is pretty much a hell of his own making.

#(spoilers for trimax) which knives realizes by the end btw #mr millions mommy issues I love him sm #long post #tp #anyway all this to say that yes. nai loved his mother very much #and part of his resentment towards her is the fact that this love (from his pov) wasn't reciprocated in the magnitude #nor in the moment where it counted to him (the fall). and vash acts just like her (towards humans) #nevermind how much of it is nai's own fault #I italicized it tho i didn't elaborate for the sake of not derailing the post but #the talk of the geraniums and nai pointing out that they're 'ornamental' just like the one that we later find out #is kept in the same room as tessla's body is so fascinating like. there's smth to be said abt how it must've looked to nai #the humans encasing tessla's torn body in such a dehumanizing fashion #like an ornament. and worse even bc at least the flowers are pretty enough to be displayed in the open #tessla was the ugliness they kept hidden

[ectonurites]

almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.

#super dark times #+ part of it that's insane to me is: Josh COULD have easily ALSO gotten (literal) blood on his hands—we see him go to check for a pulse #after Zach did... but we don't see his hands during that—they're left out of the shot! we just see his face. and when we see his hands next #there's no visible blood on them (if any got on he theoretically wiped 'em off ig? similarly Zach's hands when seen AFTER the shot of him #touching Daryl ALSO don't rlly show blood anymore—we see his hands in the leaves tho so it prob went there) BUT SO there was a CHOICE made #to give us a close up shot of ZACH pulling his hand away from the wound with blood on it... but to NOT do the same/smthn similar with Josh. #and yet ZACH is the one who CAN'T ACCEPT THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN ANY OF ITTTTT!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! #this post brought to you by me rewatching the Zach + Charlie on the phone scene and needing to just. stop and scream at Zach being #like 'Josh‚ or fucking somebody else‚ they went up there and if they found Daryl alive—' LIKE BRO. YOU *KNOW* HE WAS DEAD. #YOU KNOW. YOU KNOOOOW. YOU WERE THERE. YOU KNOW HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. the denial. the trying to find any fucking way that #there could be even a sliver of a possibility that it WASN'T even PARTIALLY his fault.... shifting the blame entirely onto Josh... #[plus like. the 'somebody else' only added in after Charlie was giving him shit for trying to complicate this more—at first he was #straight up saying Josh was the one that fucked with the body]... aghghghsfd he makes me INSANE #also fwiw. i'm forever a 'Josh didn't harm anyone on purpose until AFTER his fight with Zach at Zach's house' truther. that provides #at least SOME sort of motivation to push him over an edge into... the shit that happens. anything before that just fuckin' doesn't make #sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house #anyways. im also NOT trying to say 'ah so we should Just Blame Zach' because nah nah this whole thing was a fucked up accident. they're all #to blame. plus Josh did horrible shit at the end On His Own there's no way of getting around that—but the messiness of how Zach handled the #initial incident and how that ripples out across the whole movie is simply soooooooo... ghghGHGhghGHGhghghgh. To Me. #in conclusion: im soooooooo normal about the characters in this movie (<- lying)

[pttucker]

Yoo Joonghyuk asked me, "Why are you here?" "Probably a similar reason to you." "When will you revive?" "Maybe tomorrow." "The others are worried." "I'm sorry." I felt somewhat uneasy as I had a conversation with Yoo Joonghyuk. His fists were clenched tightly like he was angry. I suspected that he might have anger control issues these days.

The others are worried.

Uh huh, sure, whatever you say Joonghyuk.

You just died without explaining anything to any of your companions, everyone is literally sobbing at your funeral right this very moment, and Joonghyuk is clenching his fists because he has anger control issues these days.

Uh huh, sure, whatever you say Dokja.

...Anyone else ever want to take two fictional characters and just violently SHAKE THEM

#okay to be fair yjh probably IS super pissed #once again dokja just up and DIED #and once again he didn't tell anyone his plan #and even though dokja did literally ask him to kill him and thus gave yjh hints as to the fact that he could come back #the fact that he HASN'T come back yet is obviously wearing on his nerves and stressing him out and making him doubt #well at least dokja didn't literally die in his arms this time #but I don't imagine finding his body was pleasant to anyone #yjh #kdj #orv #orv spoilers #orv liveblog #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv novel chapter 148

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

WAIIIITTT me thinking my sunless ground writing is bad and then revisiting seventh virtue where the writing is like this except probably a little "worse"

#I hate categorizing writing as good or bad etc #but I TRULY forgot what my genre writing looks like #like this is not even bad it's actually very good LOL it's just different #to my literary style that I've been soooo entrenched in #WHICH I find easy to read now but in comparison is reallyyyyyy much more ornamented #my sister said body back is a bit tougher to read bc it's so dense (not a criticism btw it was said very kindly just an observation) #WHICH really put things into perspective for me??? with the literary VS genre style??? like the literary style #IS denser it does more on a line level on account of... literary fiction LOL #SOOOOO I think I've been so used to it that I forgot the genre style doesn't and probably shouldn't be that way?? #ANYWAY who would've known reading my genre fiction book would make this make more sense #I didn't feel bad about the writing being thinner btw it was more that I was like #is something missing?? is something off?? NO YOU ARE WRITING A DIFFERENT GENRE LOL

[jaypgartifacts]

october is coming. which means, of course, that it is time for the horrors. tfw the dream self must confront the Nightmare Self

#body horror // #homestuck #YES i am invoking tarot symbolism and YES i have reasons for choosing the cards i did and YES i AM just making things up as i go. im normal #symbolism runthrough real quick. consider this an Artist's Statement of sorts. #The Tower: ambition built on a flawed premise. guy who always thinks he knows better than you in dire need of a wakeup call #strength: the journey of the self vis a vis finding the courage to act & tapping into latent potential that always existed #& simply needed to be accessed. note: dirk in this card is brain ghost dirk specifically. #(an illusion constructed by jake because he didn't believe in his own repressed abilities - drawn here as The Horrors.) #the devil: you are maybe not the CAUSE of all of your problems but DAMN you are making them worse for yourself. #this card is SO heavy on unhealthy coping mechanisms. symbolism here - very literally holding self down #sure it feels comforting in the moment but eventually you are going to drown. #the chariot: this one's not super clear visually but i do have a method to my madness #the chariot is the card of willpower; control; forward motion; resolution. #by the same token i think it is also a card about being really really stubborn - blinded by a goal. #holding onto the reins and refusing to let go even when holding them hurts you & others around you. #honestly i think some of the minor arcana fit better for a few of these cards but i wanted to stick w majors #for the sake of Icon Recognition i guess. #anyway [putting the alpha gang in the Narrative Wiggler to work through their problems] #they are going to the Dream Realm to meet their weirdest selves (and friends) in combat. unless...? #(it was never about fighting it was about healing. SYMBOLISM)

[aratakareigenified]

alright that does it if anyone of you are avid ekurei/yoshiokarei shippers talk to MEEEE

#I THINK... I LIKE THE THOUGHT OF YOSHIOKA HAVING A BIG FAT CRUSH ON REIGEN... GIGGLES #yoshioka going all 👁️👁️ at any pictures taken of ekubo (in his body) #hanging out with reigen and his eyes maximized zoomed in 100x to reigen's face #and going all #I don't remember him but goddamn i copped this hottie? #and going on a search to try to find him #even trying to go on days not falling asleep so that his body isn't suddenly used by ekubo again #(didn't work) #yoshioka mamoru #reigen #ekurei #sgrei #im being cringe

[bigboysteveharrington]

I got distracted working on part of a chapter later than the one I still need to finish and post and

Mike: Everyone’s afraid of Hopper, right?

Will, whose previous father figure was Lonnie and whose first memory of Hopper is him carrying him out of the Upside Down: 🤨

#I can't put Will or El or Jonathan's thoughts on this scene until I get there in the so far unposted fic in the same universe as The Things #in Life That I Can't Find but I *can* make a post making it clear that Will is internally like bitch wtf??? because he hasn't witnessed #Hopper intentionally being ominous to Mike and to Will Hopper was already becoming a dad figure before Hopper and Joyce even got together #Because he didn't even know Hopper when Hopper didn't give up on helping Joyce finding him even after his fake dead body washed up #And Hopper went into the Upside Down back when no one had ever come back out alive to get him and carried him out #And Hopper came along to the check ups Will had to have at Hawkins Lab and Hopper was already there for him more and doing more as a father #figure than Lonnie ever did even before they suddenly became a 5 person Hopper-Byers family unit so Will is one of the only ones that #didn't start off petrified of Hopper before they realized that he was on their side and he's seen the way that El is the boss out of Hopper #and El a lot of the time and he's seen the way that Hopper goes along with whatever Joyce wants 99.9% of the time even if they do bicker in #a more lighthearted way that never has Will hiding in Jonathan's room with loud music on to get away from it so he's like yeah Hopper's #big but he's just Hopper??? He's tough in a good at protecting us way but he gives in all the time to what people he cares about want and #he goes out of the way to do things for people regularly??? #Plus Joyce never looks scared of him and she's happier when he's around and Jonathan and Joyce and El all trust him so Will fully trusts #him and likes having him around too #Oops I didn't mean to go on such a long ramble in the tags but I have a lot of thoughts on that family dynamic #Hence the turning the fic into a series so that I can have a fic that focuses on their dynamics #Mine