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original-character-championship · 1 year

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As not everybody is one of the maybe ten people aware of my man's existence, here is an introduction post as part of my propaganda campaign!

Chinook, meet The Rest of Tumblr. The Rest of Tumblr, meet Chinook.

Chinook is my metal gear oc! While he exists most prominently as a member of Desperado Enforcement within the events of Metal Gear Rising, he is also ex military and a former Armstech member who was a casualty of the Shadow Moses Incident.

Chinook Facts!

He was born in 1974.

He is native to Ararat, Virginia, he was raised on an orchard by his grandparents and boxed competitively in high school.

His favorite foods are maple bourbon, pecan pie, and brisket.

His favorite movie is Kill Bill.

He is slowly dying from a small piece of shrapnel that has been working its way into his brain since the 90's, and wears his red glasses to help with migraines.

He is an ancient history nerd, and his primary weapon is a modified meteor hammer that, along with its blunt force, charges up when spun to electrocute the target upon contact.

He is a country boy at heart! Before he became a biomechanical specialist, he started out helping his granddad and neighbors repair farm equipment, and later rigged up an elaborate pulley/zipline system to help with harvesting.

He was a combat medic in the Army to pay his way through college until he lost his arm and leg.

He's sort of like the Desperado "team doc", patching up combatants along with working as a mercenary, training soldiers, designing military inventions and cracking heads.

He has been in a coma twice.

He usually doesn't have much of an accent, but if he gets pissed off or excited, his hillbilly powers activate.

He can play the dulcimer.

Has like three emotions: Business, Happy, and Berserker Rage.

He looks very serious, doesn't he? Spoiler alert: it's an act. He is a master of saying weird shit with a straight face, but only acts professional when there are clients around.

He was partially inspired by Gordon Freeman, Lt. Aldo Raine, and Egon Spengler.

If he was a dog he would be a bluetick hound.

That's all I got for now! CHINOOK SWEEP

#submission #yayayayayayyayayyay #CHINOOK SWEEP #mgr #mgrr #mgs #metal gear #metal gear solid #metal gear rising #metal gear rising revengeance #propaganda #28 kirk 'chinook' raymond

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idk6123 · 4 months

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Unlikely Date (Jetstream Sam X Male reader)

It’s in the dark of night when the operation began. Rescuing children from the Sears Program and Desperado Enforcement LLC. Before going to the research center, the cyborg got all the info he needs to succeed with the mission without any causality.

So, he broke in the building without detection. Got into the room where around 10 kids are sitting. Killed any threats and then lead the children to the exit. Once getting to the exit, the man makes sure to get the younger ones out of the complex. Once it’s his turn, he’s quickly looks back when he hears someone’s voice.

“Somebody is sneaky.” As he looks at who’s talking, he sees a black haired man in a ponytail. Like him, he uses a sword, though it isn’t out. He doesn’t get a reply and merely a scowl. “Cat caught your tongue? Or are you just the silent type.”

“Jetstream Sam.”

The other man shows a smirk. “Seems like my reputation reached you. If only I could say the same to you.”

“My name is irrelevant.” The cyborg says coldly. “I’m here on a mission. If you want to stop me, you’re going to force my hand to kill you.”

Sam tsks. “Tough audience. And you look strong. Oh, how scared I am.” He smirks, but the cyborg doesn’t look amused, merely holding his sword, ready to take it out of his sheath. “Tell you this. I’m willing to give this a blind eye to this whole situation. Though there is something you must do.”

“And that is?”

“Your name.”

“You know I can just lie, right?”

Sam laughs. “I know. But you won’t.”

“And why’s that?”

“Got a good feeling. Call it a hunch.” Sam says with such smooth, the other man can’t help but respect it just a bit.

“Fine. Y/N.”

“Y/N.” Sam pleasantly says his name. “I can tell you’re something special. And I feel we’re going to meet again.”

“Probably.” Y/N shrugs. “Hopefully without clashing swords.”

“I hope so too. I would prefer not messing up some cute guy’s face.”

“Don’t mock me.”

Sam chuckles. “It was a complement. Take it as such. Anyway, I probably took enough of your time. I suggest get out of here before they realize they can’t screw up children’s life anymore.”

“Took long enough. Pleasure meeting you.”

It’s yet another mission for Y/N. He managed to get a target up to assassination, and yes, it’s Desperado. It’s a scientist that has a part that caused all of the cyborg creation. It all looks easy, get in the building, stab the man, and get away. And so Y/N did, and yet once he goes through his escape route, he sees someone similar.

“Back again? Huh? You’re like a magnet.”

“Sam.” Y/N merely greets him, ready to take out his blade. “I heard about your little fight with my co-worker.”

“Raiden. That was his name, no?” Sam smirks. “How’s the man holding up?”

The cyborg hmphs. “Well, after you slashed his eye out and cut his arm, all things considered good.”

“Good to hear. He got potential, and once he gets there, I wouldn’t mind a rematch.” The man confidently looks at the wary man. The two body languages not matching at all. “You look like I’m going to kill you.”

“You already tried to kill my coworker. I doubt I’m an exception.” Y/N replies bluntly. “Besides, I just assassinated one of your men.”

“And you think I care.”

Y/N raises his eyebrow. “You don’t?” There is a silence, with an unsettling smile staring at him. “Excuse me, but what kind of lousy employee are you?”

Sam laughs. “The best kind. Let’s just say I got my reasons.” He steps besides, gesturing his enemy to leave. “Was nice talking to you again, Y/N. And liked you hoped, we didn’t clashed blades.”

“And instead of that, you’re going to leave me with an unsettling feeling.” Y/N makes sure to keep his eye on him. “You’re on odd man. You’re willing to let me go, but has no issue slashing Raiden?”

Sam shrugs his shoulders casually. “Maybe it could be it was an inconvenient time? Or it could be he tried to safe someone instead of killing? Ooor…” He slowly walks over to Y/N. “Could it be I try to safe that pretty face of yours?”

“And now you flirt with your enemy.”

“I don’t see why we can’t have a little fun.” Sam points out, now standing near the other man. Though before he could make another remark, the alarm begins to ring. It appears that they discovered the body Y/N made. Sam looks back at Y/N. “It appears our time got cut. How disappointed. I really enjoyed it.”

“I bet you did.” Y/N says. Afterwards, he heads to the exit. As he gets to it, he looks back at Sam, continuing to smile at him. “What’s it?”

“Nothing. I just got a feeling we’re going to meet again. Maybe next time with some coffee?”

Y/N can’t help but smirk back. “As long you don’t try to kill me, deal.”

The sun is settling down as Y/N gets across the land. He got requested for back-up, intending to help Raiden and Bladewolf with taking down Armstrong. So, he’s driving his car across the wasteland. However, he spots something odd on the field by the road. He stops his car to focus closer. That’s when he sees a silhouette of a body, whether it’s dead or not, he’s not sure. Doing the right thing, Y/N stops the car, get out of it and quickly run to the person, only to discover who it is.

“Sam?” Y/N blurts his name out. He crouches down to check out his wound. His torso has been slashed up, with blood everywhere. However, his vital signs still work. He’s still alive. The first thing he does is intending to stop the bleeding. Thus, he gets Sam to sit up to remove his upper body clothing. Although difficult, he successfully removed it.

That’s when Y/N quickly get back to the car to snatch a med-kit. Once he gets back, he begins putting a band-aid around his torso. During which, someone suddenly talks. “What a surprise…”

Y/N is quick to look up to see Sam with his eyes just a bit open. “That I’m here? Or you’re alive?”

“Both.” Sam chuckles.

Y/N continues applying the band-aid. “What happened?”

“Well, Raiden and I had our rematch…” He tiredly says, but he tries to sound as charming as usual. “You could see who’s the victor.”

“Karma is a bitch.”

“You could say that again.”

Sam stays half alive as Y/N helps him. With his cyborg implants, it doesn’t take long to get Sam’s body covered. Once he did, he put his arm around his neck and the two walk towards the car, though Sam legs gives up.

That’s when Y/N grabs his leg to lift him up like a bride. Sam can’t help but laugh. “You couldn’t wait until the wedding.”

“I could always wait until the funeral.”

“Never mind.”

Y/N carefully puts Sam next to the driver’s seat. Then, he gets to the other side and begin starting to car. He put his finger against his earpiece. “Doktor, I found someone at critical stage. I’m bringing him to you.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be joining Raiden?”

“Plans changed.” With that, he signs off.

Sam looks besides him, while his entire body is sluggishly sitting. “You were to assist Raiden, huh? Help him.”

“He can take care by himself.” Y/N starts the car. Afterwards, he begins to turn around.

“Help. Him.”

Y/N looks at Sam. This is the first time he sees a serious face of him. “I need to get you to a doctor, or-”

“I already accepted death. I just want to see Armstrong dead. Raiden is strong, but I want his death to be guaranteed.” Sam explains. “Turn the car around.” Y/N thinks about it. After making his decision, he merely steps on the gas, making Sam closes his eyes. “You’re making a grave mistake.”

“I won’t.” Y/N says without any doubt of his voice. “Raiden is strong. You didn’t even knew I was coming. I know you putted all your faith in him, even if it was just him and Bladewolf.”

“It’s just to be secure.” Sam continues to protest. “You would risk Armstrong wining just to safe my ass?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You owe me coffee.”

With a serious face looking at him, Sam can’t help but crack up a smile. “Oh, how the tables got turned. You know I was just messing with you.”

“Partly, yes.” Y/N responds. “But I can tell you’re the guy that tries to flirt his way to someone, even if you just met them.”

“Am I that much of an open book?”

“Not really.” Y/N responds. “I still don’t know why you joined with Armstrong despite wanting him dead.”

Sam smirks a bit. “It’s a long story.”

“We’re on a long road.”

“Touché. Well, let’s start…”

Walking in the office, Y/N is holding two cups of coffee, walking pass his colleagues. A smile is on his face once he heard Raiden’s victory over Armstrong. That face he shares with Sam, who he sees once he gets in the infirmary room. He’s lying on a clean, white bed, with the sheets covering his almost naked body. Although with his body looking beat up, he looks alive.

“How much?”

“3 bucks per coffee.” Y/N hands over Sam’s coffee.

“I grab my wallet once I get home.”

The cyborg grabs a chair to set besides the man. “I was honestly surprised that you’re not a cyborg.”

“I’m all natural. No funky gadgets, no implants, just skill and one good sword.”

“No implants?” Y/N says doubtfully. “You’re saying that your fat ass is all natural?”

“If you doubt it, feel free to touch it. I can promise you, all natural.” Sam drinks his coffee as he confidently looks at his date.

“Pass. But I take that offer later.”

“Nice to know.”

“But enough with the flirting… for now. Now that Armstrong is dead, Desperado is going die as well. Not immediately, but they will. Got any plans?”

“Well, considering who I was working for, I guess it’s behind bars for me.” Though sounding sad, Sam isn’t at all.

Y/N frowns. “We got good lawyers.”

“I doubt any good lawyer can justify working for a group that has connections with terrorists and child soldiers.” Sam takes a sip. “And that is just the beginning of the list of war crimes.”

“True…”

Sam can notice Y/N being disappointed. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be together. We can call it a long distant relationship.”

“What am I going to say? That my date and potential boyfriend is living in prison.”

“Exactly. That way, nobody is going to mess with you.”

Y/N can’t help but chuckle. “How come you can always act so positive despite the shitty situations?”

Sam thinks about it. “I’m not sure. I guess it could be that it’s a good way to get with someone.”

#metal gear rising #metal gear #jestream sam #jetstream sam x male reader #metal gear x male reader #samuel rodriguez #samuel rodriguez x male reader

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3rdeyeblaque · 1 year

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Today, we venerate Ancestor Morris Slater aka "Railroad Bill" on the 127th anniversary of his passing 🕊

A true icon of Hoodoo Folklore & History, Railroad Bill became the shape-shifting bandit who could only be killed by a silver bullet; infamous for his brazen Wild West/Robin Hood-style escapades - he'd chuck food from moving train cars so Negro residents wouldn't starve during the Great Depression & hijack trains.

He was a turpentine camp's laborer turned rifle/pistol touting outlaw, spearheading his own gang of train bandits, at war with the Southern Railroad companies of the late 1800s, namely the L&N Railroad Line - after being thrown from a moving car for not paying his fare. Having allegedly killed at least 2 sherrifs, several detectives & railroad cops in dozens of gun fights over several years, Railroad Bill drew the festering ire of law enforcement agencies across the Deep South & became the face of every wanted poster with an ever rising reward.

Slater was ultimately ambushed while eating at a general store in Atmore, AL by detectives from Chicago, a bounty hunter from TX, a Constable and his crew, & the store clerk. They paraded his body to Montgomery & Birmingham, AL as well as Pensacola, FL where officers charged 25 cents per person to view his remains. Officers aimed to have his body petrified to be put on permanent display. However, City officials prohibited it. His body was ultimately buried in the Negro section of St. John's Cemetery in Pensacola, FL. to an unmarked grave (having finally been marked in 2012) as the final testing place of the legendary desperado.

Though a vexation to Whites, Railroad Bill was a celebrated legend & cherished character of lore to the Negro communities of Alabama. He'd go on to become immortalized in folk songs & Blue's ballads for generations to come.

We pour libations & give Railroad Bill his 💐 for his courage, selfless service, & ruthless giving. Offering suggestions: corn liquor, bread, play his Blue's song, "Railroad Bill"

🌟 FINAL copies of The2023 Hoodoo's Calendar are available for purchase (once sold out, that's it)! Subscribe to the official e-newsletter for the latest updates & exclusive content access. https://thehoodoocalendar.square.site 🌟

#hoodoo #hoodoos #atr #atrs #the hoodoo calendar #hudu #railroad bill #Morris Slater #black history #Hoodoo History #Hoodoo Folklore

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paganminiskirt · 2 years

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SUNDOWNER + TV TROPES

The leader of Desperado Enforcement, he is known by the code name of "Sundowner", named after the hot, dry winds of California. As one of the dreaded Winds of Destruction he uses a powerful, specialized cyborg body, different from the ones used by typical contractors. He dual-wields a pair of high-frequency machetes, collectively called "Bloodlust."

#love this freak and his huge unnecessary codpiece #metal gear rising #sundowner mgr #metal gear rising: revengeance #mgr #sundowner

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cyberhai · 8 months

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Earlier this year I got one of my irls into/back into metal gear and here's what we came up with in a booth at Bojangles

Sundowner would have a single beige wall in his house

Sundowner would have a massive deer head over the fireplace but not from one he hunted, he just found a roadkilled buck on the highway and took his head home

Sundowner would also collect Rae Dunn kitchenware but along with the ones saying shit like "COFFEE" and "KEEP" and "HELLO" there's a couple mixed in that say "KILL"

He's a Juggalo 4 Lyfe and had a Violent J tramp stamp before he got blown up by an IED and that's why he's a villain. He misses Violent J

He drives a lifted dodge ram truck with blinding white headlights situated directly at eye level

#mgrr #mgr #metal gear rising #metal gear rising revengeance #susdowner posting #mgr sundowner #sundowner mgr #winds of destruction #desperado enforcement

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desperadosofficial · 1 year

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what music/games do you all listen to

Doc here. The rest of the crew is out on operations and Carl is in surgery for the fifth time this year, so I'll answer you. Sorry 'bout the delay.

Mistral likes Arch Enemy a lot. I didn't really take her for a death metal gal, but hey, what do I know. She listens to a lot of New Wave, too. She LOVES Blondie and got me and the guys (except Sundowner) into Joy Division. Mistral also listens to a lot of film scores to wind down, especially Gladiator and Blade Runner.

As for games, I know she's a big fan of older action games, the older Resident Evils, Quake and Doom and whatnot. Talks a lot of shit in fps forums.

Monsoon is...something. Handing him the aux when we go out is like a game of auditory Russian roulette. He could put on some Ros Sereysothea from when he was a kid. He could play nothing but Die Antwoord. He could play 70's Queen. He could play incoherent electronic sounds until you scream at him.

He's the biggest gamer out of all of us, his favorites are DMC and Bayonetta. He's competing in the Wii Taser Boxing tournament with Sundowner and I now, and if he wins, we'll be hearing about it for the next six months.

Sundowner is a simple man. He likes rock, country, and that's about it. We have a lot of the same taste in country artists, we grew up on Cash, Nelson, Jennings, and, as much as he'll deny it, he'd take a bullet for Dolly Parton. Sadly, with the exception of Lynyrd Skynyrd and Motörhead, his taste in rock is a bag of hot shit. Once I tried to tell him Five Finger Death Punch is for angry alcoholics with erectile dysfunction and he just yelled "HELL YEAH BROTHER" and cranked it louder.

He isn't really a video game guy. The only video game he plays is Wii Sports, and he only plays it because I challenged him.

Sam, interestingly enough, likes grunge and 80's rock. Some of his favorite bands are Van Halen, Foo Fighters, and Iron Maiden. He can sing almost every Black Sabbath song in Portuguese. He's been trying to learn Eruption on guitar. Once we were out drinking and he somehow managed to play it flawlessly on some kid's ukulele. I guess beer gives him guitarist powers. Oh, and he loves Shakira. No matter where he is, if you put her on, he will drop everything and get up to dance. Flawlessly.

Sam's our second biggest gamer. He's a fighting game guy. I still can't beat him at Mortal Kombat or Guilty Gear. He could probably thrash me with his eyes shut, too. Maybe I'm too old for this shit.

Intern Carl probably listens to Imagine Dragons or some dumb shit like that. Probably plays Tetris on his stupid little phone.

I listen to a lot of country, I also had a buddy back at ArmsTech who got me into industrial music. We used to swap cassettes while we worked, I'd listen to his mix while he'd listen to my Merle tape. I hope he's doing well.

I haven't gamed much. I remember liking Half Life a lot when I was younger. Had a coworker who's last name was Freeman, so I used to mess with him, talking to him in an awful G-Man impression...miss that guy.

That should answer your question. Sorry again about the wait; Desperados stay pretty busy.

- 🩹

#mgrr #mgr #winds of destruction #metal gear rising revengeance #rp blog #metal gear memes #metal gear rising #desperado enforcement #monsoon mgr #sundowner mgr #mistral mgr #jetstream sam #mgr oc

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dungeon-crawler-blorbo · 19 days

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Kobeni Higashiyama

Name: Kobeni Hi Class: Nimblefoot Enforcer Original Race: Human Race: Human Highest Stat: Dexterity Dungeon Exit: Took a deal at the start of the 10th floor. Served as a 6th floor noncombatant NPC. Survived her indentureship.

Club Affiliation: Desperado Club

Notable Achievements: Marked For Life - Reward: Celestial Deity Box Backseat Manslaughter - Reward: Silver Mechanic Box Knife Skills Are Life Skills - Reward: Platinum Melee Weapon Box Human Shield - Reward: Gold Asshole Box Don't Be Such A Tease - Reward: Bronze Fan Box

Notable Loot: Enchanted Kitchen Knife of the Silent Butcher (Platinum Melee Weapon Box) Enchanted Necklace of the Monkey King's Last Laugh (Celestial Deity Box) Enchanted Reinforced Suit of the Shadows (Silver Benefactor Box) Uncle Morty's Special Brew (Platinum Quest Box) Pawna's Cries (Platinum Boss Box)

Notable Abilities: Bitch, What? Spell - Level 8 Dodge Skill - Level 17 (15 without items) Parkour Skill - Level 14 (11 without items) Puddle Jumper Spell - Level 9 Sneak Skill - Level 13 (10 without items)

#kobeni higashiyama #chainsaw man #dungeon crawler carl #Celestial Box Winner

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cutecipher · 1 month

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2026: In a final last ditch effort to save face after endorsing desperado enforcement llc mcdonalds brings back hot dogs

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containatrocity · 9 months

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THE DESPERADO: VICTOR "ZIGGY" CALHOUN

Outrunning karma, that boy He's such a charmer. All the bugs and their larva, follow him out to Colorado. Ten dozen hearts in a bag Their bodies lying, he'll drag them down to Colorado- A modern desperado.

"Victor Calhoun- most everybody just calls me Ziggy. I'm 40 years old, and Huntsville born and raised. Up til about 12 years ago, I called Huntsville home, and as an enforcer for the local biker gang I made certain our crew was paid out to on time- through any means necessary. In April of 2012, I was arrested as an accessory to murder, And served a 10 year sentence in state prison. I've been a free man for the last eight months, and have taken a job as a long haul truck driver. But I guess that's then, and this is now. I live in town, with no job to speak of. My greatest vice has always been my Haste to act out in violence when the going gets tough."

Name: Victor Robert Calhoun

Aliases: Vic, Bear (Among the Devil Dogs), Ziggy (From the other truckers at his company.)

Age: 40 (January 22nd.)

Sexuality/Gender: Bisexual Cis Man

Personality: while previously a violent, unkind young man with a propensity for bullying, harassment, and a full-willingness to get involved in a physical altercation as a way to pass time- it was the murder he'd be sent to prison for involvement in that would change him entirely. After ten years serving a sentence and doing his level best to keep his head down, he's come out the other side largely repentant, desperately trying to flip the karmic scales back into balance with what he believes is very little time remaining- Huntsville being an inescapable Hell containing the people he'd spent his early life making miserable, however, seems to have kicked the sympathetic engine into overdrive- He's desperately clinging to a measured, calmer temperament, but old habits die hard, and he has a tendency to flick to violence if a conversation becomes too difficult to solve with words and he can't beat a hasty escape.

Occupation: Unemployed handyman, largely living off what he's made trading and helping distribute the supplies he arrived with to the townspeople, former long-haul trucker.

Affiliations: Ex-Devil Dog Enforcer.

Scent Profile: He smells of cigarette smoke and leather, the still-present smell of mass produced cologne and soap he's not yet run out of given the recentness of his arrival. Vaguely of dog, thanks to Cash, as well as wood-shavings and motor oil, always somewhat dirty with one or the other thanks to the much lower supply of things like clothes he'd had with him for the drive he was making.

Aesthetic: A perfectly lacquered guitar and a baseball bat cracked and splintered, the rumble of a Harley's engine and the low din of a biker bar, the stale smell of liquor lingering. Blood and busted knuckles, bite marks and scars earned in love and war- the devil's right hand, the muscle. The bite of metal handcuffs and the murmur of a courtroom- the foreman's verdict as good as a guillotine for your freedom. Something you can't shake, about the incident that put you here. A decade of bars, a bird in a cage with a cracked and broken beak. when the door's finally slipped open, you fly free- not for long, Karma circles back- a Hell tailored to you. New names don't destroy what you damaged to start anew.

He's never gonna make it, all the poor people he's forsaken, karma Is always gonna chase him for his lies. It's just a game of waiting, from the church steeple down to Satan, karma. There's really no escaping 'til he dies.

CHAPTER ONE: LIFE IN HUNTSVILLE POST PARADOX

An incredibly recent arrival to Huntsville, Victor Calhoun- better known now by his call-sign for the trucking company that employs him, "Ziggy," Has only been free on parole for a short time, not even a full year of freedom before winding up in Huntsville once again- a place he'd called home until his sentencing in early 2012. it's a momentary detour- intending to just drive through town and see what had changed in his absence while making a long haul trip in the area to deliver the first stock truck for a CVS opening in West Virginia- he found himself circling town in the dim light of the evening- Cash growing more and more uneasy alongside him in the cab, ears pinned back and gaze set on the forest beyond.

It's on loop 3 he begins to feel as if he might be going crazy- a mental break brought on by returning home- a HAM radio no longer pinging the dispatch for his trucking company- faces starting to appear out of houses and businesses, at the heady rumble of the truck's engine. It's only when he's waved to stop that he grabs the shotgun from under his seat and disembarks the truck- demands to know what's going on- and why everyone's staring at him. It's a former classmate who barks his name first. Oh fuck me, it's Vic Calhoun. Just leave him to the ghosts, Mayor. It's disbelief, as the sheriff explains what's going on and people who's faces he somewhat remembers eye the truck like a flock of vultures.

He plants the butt of the gun in the chest of one of the approaching townspeople headed for the truck's back hatch hisses at them to fuck off- listens to whispers, murmurs of interest- of concern, about a commune, about the town- about the mayor. His head spins- He listens to Nat.

It's been only a small handful of days, now, and he's settled in his childhood home- parents long dead, brother just the same- he supposed it explains why they never wrote. His ownership over the keys to the freighter and the shipping manifest remains his only real leverage, for now, and while he's happy to help- He's made it clear that he's not about to let himself be screwed over- insisting Nat and Sunflower "work their shit out" and come to an agreement for the supplies split before a war breaks out over something only he can open...

and he wants first dip, of the townsfolk, of course.

#v.threads #v.aesthetic #v.headcanons #v.music #v.bio #huntsvilleintro #Karmic Retribution;

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sailorsenshishitposter · 4 months

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MGR office au part 7 - a day in the life of Steven Armstrong

Armstrong lifted his finger off the button of the speaker and took a drag from his cigarette. He sat back in his office chair and rested his head in his hands. "What a mess that I've gotten myself into. I'll have to remedy this tomorrow. I can't let a scandal of this nature reach the public." It was settled. Tomorrow's lesson would be about sexual harassment in the workplace.

The next day and the four Desperado employees were sitting down in their new office. Mistral was applying her lipstick, Monsoon was checking Discord, Sundowner was drawing stick figures killing each other and Sam had his head rested on the desk while he tried to get some extra beauty sleep. The next thing they knew, Armstrong barged through the door hard enough to leave cracks in the wall (causing Sam to double jump in terror). He slammed his giant hulk like fists on the table.

"Alright everyone, I believe we all know why we're here but for those of you that don't, we had a little... incident yesterday-" Sam immediately cut in. "YOU CAME INTO MY ROOM WHILE I WAS NAKED!" Armstrong fixed his glasses. "As I was saying... due to said event, I've come to the realization that we need to have a lesson on sexual harassment in the work place." Monsoon raised his hand and interrupted. "Sir, why are we being collectively punished for your actions?"

"This isn't just about me but all of you. May I remind everyone that not one but two of you decided to come on to me? After all, I know one of you was the one that pulled the stunt that led to said event." "Please don't remind us!" cried Mistral. "All right then, let's get down to the basics. Rule one: No dating your fellow co-workers." No one was surprised to hear that.

"Number two: You know the American saying of "no shirts, no shoes, no service?" It will be like that but all cyborgs must wear their combat enhancements and all human employees shall wear their exoskeletons if they have been provided one." Sam raised his hand. "Well I was in my room. Are you telling me that I'm to bathe and sleep clothed?" In hindsight it did sound kind of ridiculous. "All right. Bathrooms and bedrooms shall be the only spaces where this rule doesn't apply."

"And finally, rule number three: No sexual or romantic relations at headquarters. That includes bringing over dates and sending sexually explicit transmissions from the building." Everyone began to protest. Everything from "This is America and I'll be damned if I let you take away my rights", "That's totally unfair! You're not my dad!" to "How am I supposed to talk to my Discord kitten now!" and "You can take away my phone privellges but I will be damned if you think that's going to stop me from obliterating that twinks ass!"

"Hey, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them." Sundowner then raised his hand. "Can we still pee in the drinking fountains?" Everyone stopped and did a double take. "Did you just say that you pee in our drinking fountains!?" The cyborg glanced down at the floor. "NO! I just meant.. if ya know... say someone ever wanted to..." No one was buying it. Armstrong then wrote down a memo about how he would need to call the janitor later.

"Alright, today's lesson is over. I expect you all to respect the rules and follow them." Armstrong then closed the door. Once he was gone, Sam then stood up. "Like that's ever going to happen. What a load of-" And then Smash Mouth began to play.

#crack fic #mgrr #metal gear rising revengeance #senator armstrong #jetstream sam #monsoon mgr #sundowner mgr #mistral mgr #mgr

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