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lcandothisallday · 1 year

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Court Side Butterflies Part 1 - Jack Harlow x f!reader

this actually SUCKS but oh well. Might make a part 2

photo credit to @a-moment-captured !!

You walk under the tunnel with your best friend, making your way through the swarms of people to get your court side seat. Your best friend was dating a player on the Boston Celtics—Jaylen Brown to be exact, which warranted the both of you sitting court side to support her man.

With it being a game 7, you knew this game was going to be tense and you only hoped the Celtics would win so that your best friend could celebrate with her boyfriend. If it were up to you, you didn’t really care who wins—only wishing for an exciting game.

“I’m gonna go speak with Jaylen real quick,” your friend mused. “Wish him luck and all.” You nod and smirk at your love sick friend. “Wish him luck for me too!” you exclaim as she walks away.

There was still about 15 minutes until the game officially started so you decided to take your seat and chill on your phone in the meantime.

While you’re scrolling through Instagram, two quite large people walk in front of you—one of them nearly stepping on your toes.

“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry!” the man exclaimed. “Did I step on your toes?—”

You look up at the bald man and shake your head with a laugh. “No no you’re good,” you reassure. Your line of sight trails to see the man going to take a seat next to him, your eyes going slightly wide when you realize it was Jack Harlow.

Jack’s dad sits next you, prompting him to make small talk. “Routing for the Celtics?”

“Yeah,” you confirm with a nod. “Here with my best friend—she’s dating Jaylen so I guess I gotta be supportive of the both of them,” you joke.

“Oh—are you not a basketball fan?” he chuckled in question.

“I am! It’s just been a long day,” you laugh.

“Jeez Dad—leave the poor girl alone. Probably doesn’t wanna talk to you all night,” Jack teased, causing his Dad to scoff playfully and for you to giggle.

“Jack,” he introduced, extending his hand towards you. “Y/N. It’s nice to meet you…and your Dad ” you reply with a smile.

Jack’s Dad smiled at the interaction before he leaned in close to his son, his voice low. “Wanna sit next to her?” he whispered in question. “She’s pretty—maybe you could get her number,” he mused, playing wingman.

Jack’s face heated up, his cheeks blushing with a tint of red. “Uh…not now. It’ll be too obvious. Plus she’s a model…to many eyes on us,” he whispered back a bit bashfully. He couldn’t deny that you were indeed beautiful and he would’ve loved the opportunity to talk more and get to know you— but there were simply too many eyes and cameras around to risk any annoying rumours that frankly he didn’t wanna deal with.

Soon enough, your friend makes her way back to her seat, leaning in close with a knowing smirk. “Jayson asked about youuuu,” she hummed matter of factly which Jack couldn’t help but overhear. While he loved Jayson and considered him a friend, the jealousy still bubbled within him. He knew it wasn't warranted--after all he barely knew you but it didn't stop his feelings.

He was still intrigued to hear your response so he sat quietly, his dad also unknowingly doing the same.

You scoff at your friends remark. “He's too hot and cold with me...until he wants to commit then I'm not doing anything," you shrug.

You friend groaned, “oh come on y/n! He likes you—you like him—the sex is great apparently—”

“Oh my god!” you interrupt exclaiming. “Shut up! Just please shut up,” you groan, shaking your head in embarrassment. “That’s not something you can say in public with media and fans everywhere,” you mutter lowly.

Your friend shrugged. “I just want you to be happy.”

“How about I worry about that and you worry about cheering on your boyfriend,” you deadpan.

“Suite yourself.”

You sit quietly for the remainder of quarter, your arms crossed as you stared ahead with a stoic expression. You loved your friend but she can be a bit much at times.

When half time finally came around, your friend got up to comfort Jaylen for being down a couple points. “You coming?”she asked, more so wanting to know if you were going to talk to Jayson.

“Nah—I’m gonna stick here.” She simply nodded and headed off.

“Your friend seems like a handful,” Brian spoke to you with a chuckle, causing Jack’s eyes to widen. “Dad!” he scolded.

You however thought it was funny and began laughing. “She…she really is. I’m sorry you guys had to um…hear that,” you breath out shyly.

Jack licked his lips with a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it…my best friend Urban would’ve said worse,” he mused, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ok good to know it’s a universal experience,” you hum.

Brian smirked. “Hm—why don’t you two kiddos go grab us some drinks?” he suggested. Jack’s head snapped towards his dad, glaring at him while his cheeks turned red.

“Yeah why not,” you replied.

You and Jack walked side by side to the concession stand, him walking with his hands awkwardly in his pocket. “Your dad is very nice,” you began.

Jack scoffed playfully. “Nah—he’s tryna play matchmaker,” he laughed, shaking his head shamefully.

“Ohhhh I see,” you hum teasingly. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t working,” you confess, your cheeks burning up.

Jack grinned. “Damn—might need to have him work his magic more often,” he hummed.

You scoff in feigned offence. “Only if it works in my favour. Wouldn’t want him helping you get other girls.”

“Oh so you’re territorial huh?”

“What if I am?” you taunt in question.

“Fuuuck,” he laughed, his dimple appearing as he ran his hand through his hair. “I cant lie—that’s hot.”

“So tell me…if I ask you out,” Jack began nervously as he scratching the back of his neck. “Am I gonna have to worry about Jayson and his ‘great sex?’”

“I’m not seeing him anymore.”

Jack shook his head. “That’s not what you implied back there…if he committed…are you gonna commit back?” he asked, reiterating what you said to your friend earlier.

You sighed. “I’m sure I could ask you the same thing—with all the girls around you,” you point out.

“Nahhh—don’t do that. Don’t gaslight me and twist it back on me,” Jack laughed while shaking his head. “When you figure it out—I really would love to take you out…maybe even show you what great sex really is,” he smirked.

“Deal.”

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x you #jackharlow

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republicansaredomesticterrorists · 1 year

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You can’t make this up.

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buttsmasher · 2 years

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Teasing Ex's (Edited)

Warnings/Tags: Teasing, Ex-Boyfriend, Text Messages, Farting, Farting Videos

[Photo Reference]

You’re idly playing on your phone when you see a notification that your ex, Jayson, sent you a photo on Snapchat. “Not today satan.” You mumble as you continue to browse through Wish. Another notification comes down at the same moment you are swiping and you accidentally open Snapchat.

The photo loads in and it’s him laying in bed, ass on display in the mirror behind him. You sigh loudly, and you’re about to swipe on your phone to go back to Wish when his next snap loads in.

“Fuuuck,” Jayson is moaning on camera as he presents his ass higher. “I’m so gassy. I wish I had your piggy nose in my ass right now.” He shakes his ass in the air, giving you a show.

PFFFFFFF-

The video ends before the fart even finishes and you feel your dick instinctively flex in your shorts. “God dammit.” You sigh, adjusting your dick, before getting up and leaving for the bathroom. You splash some water on your face and then stare at yourself in the mirror. “Do not give him the time of day.” You point at yourself in the mirror. “He’s already fucked around in your life too much.”

Your phone dings from your bedroom, breaking your concentration briefly. You turn and start to head back to your bed. “If his name starts with J, he’s the devil.” You keep saying to yourself as you pick up the phone. It lets you know that Jayson has sent four-now five new videos. You bite your lip as you unlock your phone.

Your thumb waivers as you almost swipe up to get back to your home screen. “Fuck.” You mumble as you click on his name.

“I bet you’re wishing you can smell my ass right now.” He hasn’t shifted much from his previous position. Ass still in the air on full display.

PFFFFFBRBRFFFTTT PFFFFFTT--

The video stops and another starts:

“How’s it feel knowing that all this gas is going to waste?”

PFFFFFBBRRFFTTT

He gives a sigh of relief. “God, it smells so bad in here.”

You quickly swipe up, not finishing the rest of the videos. You scrunch your eyes shut as you try to gather yourself. Your dick is straining hard against your shorts. “What is wrong with me?” You groan as your body instinctively flexes your cock over and over again.

Your phone dings and this time it’s a text message. Don’t lie to yourself and say you don’t want me.

I don’t want you, so leave me alone. That’s doing it, that’s making your boner recede.

A picture comes through and it's a close up picture of his hole in front of the camera. Don’t deny your nose the opportunity of my ass blasts.

And just like that, your boner is back. “I fucking hate you.” You mumble as you stare at your dick.

Be a good little piggy. Come over and give my ass a whiff. Another picture comes through, it's again his ass, but this time he has a teddy bear’s nose pressed against his ass. He just doesn’t appreciate my gas like you do piggy.

You stare at the message and the photo, your dick not deflating. You drop your phone and begin to pace your room trying to find the perfect response. But as you’re pacing you can’t help but remember how good his farts burnt your nose and how he always had you begging for more. You know you shouldn’t but you can’t stop yourself.

I’ll be there in 10.

Good piggy, your nose is about to get destroyed.

#Teasing #Ex-Boyfriend #Text Messages #Farting #Farting Videos

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 1 year

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Rep. Lauren Boebert's son called 911 in December to report that his father, Jayson Boebert, had gotten physical with him and was "throwing" him around the house and that he didn't know why.

Minutes after the call ended — while Garfield County Sheriff's Office deputies were on their way to their home — the teen called again to take the accusations back, with Lauren Boebert jumping on the phone to say her son "doesn't need help."

Jayson Boebert denied to the deputies — and to Insider — that he had gotten physical with the teen.

"The safety and well-being of my family are the most important things in the world to me," Lauren Boebert told Insider on Thursday. "We've had some tough times and heartache. I've taken action to ensure there are better days ahead for all of us."

Last month, Boebert, a two-term Colorado Republican who has garnered a national reputation as a far-right representative, filed for divorce. She cited "irreconcilable differences."

An affidavit says when Jayson Boebert was served with the petition, he became "extremely angry."

"He started yelling and using profanities," the server wrote of what transpired.

Lauren Boebert denied that her husband reacted this way, calling it a "complete lie."

Still, the congresswoman is suing for parental-decision-making power and child support for their four sons. In a statement on the divorce, Boebert said she would not "discuss this matter any further in public" in deference to their kids.

In the December 11 emergency call, which came about four months before the divorce filing, Boebert's son told the dispatcher his mother had been living in a farmhouse at an attached property because the family was having "problems."

In the 6:46 p.m. call, obtained by Insider, the teen was sobbing, gasping for air, and had trouble speaking while saying his dad was "throwing me around."

The dispatcher asked the teen whether Jayson Boebert was physical with him.

"Yes, he was throwing me around," he said, breathing heavily.

"He called me a psycho, when he's the — " he added, trailing off.

The dispatcher told the teen she was going to have an officer come help and he didn't have to worry. She also asked whether there were weapons in the house.

"I mean, there are weapons in the house, yeah, but I don't think he'd use them on me," the son responded, still crying. "He just does this to me so much."

He added: "I'm in the driveway, but my mom's staying down at the farmhouse because there's problems with them. I'm going down there where he can't get to me."

Less than five minutes after the call ended, the teen called police again.

In the background of the call, a woman can be heard yelling.

"All I wanted to say is me and my dad were starting to yell. He didn't really get physical with me," the teen started to tell the same dispatcher before Lauren Boebert took the phone, cutting him off.

"Hi, I'm the mom," she said.

"OK. There was an argument over dinner. I understand you guys got to come and talk to them," she said, adding that she was "down at our second location with" her son preparing for an event.

"Just to let you know, I have him," she told the dispatcher. "His dad's at the house."

The dispatcher said she was sending officers to talk to the teen and his dad to see whether he needed help.

"He doesn't need help," she said. "But yeah, they can come here."

In a police log from the incident, an officer said Jayson Boebert said he got into a verbal argument with his son and told him to go to the farmhouse to be with his mother.

According to the log, he said he didn't hurt him but "maybe the door touched his butt on the way out."

The officer wrote that the boy said "he started yelling at his dad first and his dad wasn't physical."

The teen "said he wasn't sure why he said that his dad hurt him, but he was upset," the log said.

The officer said there were no physical marks on the teen, he and Boebert were cooperative, and no crime was committed.

JAYSON BOEBERT SAID HE DIDN'T HURT HIS SON AND ALL TEENAGE BOYS 'TEST THE BULL'

Jayson Boebert told Insider on Thursday that "nothing physical" happened on December 11. He said that he and his son had gotten into an argument and he insisted the teen go down to the farmhouse — about a 400-yard walk from the main house — to cool off. He said his son wasn't happy about it but that he needed time to cool off.

Insider's attempt to reach the teen was unsuccessful.

"He overreacted. We're back to being a family," Boebert, who works in the oil industry, told Insider, adding that he was uncomfortable with his family being in the spotlight. "All I do is work and come home and try to raise everyone," he said.

He told Insider he disciplined all four sons by making them run laps and do push-ups — not by hitting them.

Each one of Boebert's sons went through a phase between 14 and 16 where they didn't always get along with their dad, he said.

Boebert said before his wife entered politics, the family spent a lot of time together when he was off from work doing recreational activities. Now that she's "serving the country," he spends a lot of time alone with the boys, he said.

"Every teenage boy is going to want to test the bull," he said. "We've gotten over it."

On the day of the 911 calls from her Colorado home, Lauren Boebert tweeted four times.

First, she made a joke about pronouns.

Two more — including one where she appeared on video — were about her reelection.

"When you speak the name of Jesus, you aren't just saying a name," she said in the fourth. "You are declaring what you know about the authority and splendor of His name!"

The next day, she tweeted again: "Conservatives, we need to be on OFFENSE not DEFENSE." She then fired off two more tweets about immigration.

The December 11 incident wasn't the first time the Garfield County Sheriff's Office was called to the Boebert house.

In August, a neighbor called 911 on Jayson Boebert, accusing him of threatening him and running over his mailbox. The man told the dispatcher that Boebert was looking to fight "everyone in the neighborhood" after a neighbor asked Boebert's son to stop speeding down the street in a dune buggy.

Deputies responded to the Boebert house again — most recently — on January 2 for a welfare check.

The log of the sheriff's office response was short and didn't say who called for them to go to the house.

"Spoke with male at residence who came to the door when I knocked, stated 'we're good,' asked if he was sure he stated that he was," the log said.

#us politics #news #business insider #rep. lauren boebert #jayson boebert #tw abuse #child abuse #domestic violence #2023 #Garfield County Sheriff's Office #Colorado #tweet

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vyrion · 1 year

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even still works pretty well with jayson (minus the romantic implications obv) like. listen to me.

jay wanting to go undercover.. searching for her answers on her own terms, getting out of featherbrooke. jayson letting jay work for the navy despite his previous qualms with it

the narrative of spy vs pirate, what side she's truly on. searching for answers and maybe finding them in the wrong places. still viewing her in that lens of family, of daughter, believing what she's doing is a purposeful rebellion

more in regards to fey, unquestioningly following and giving orders in the way that his brother couldn't. jayson stays with raft, despite despite despite

she's still his daughter. okay the protection part is kind of a stretch because they Did grow up a navy family and i'm sure jay can fend for herself, but he's still defensive over his family (as shown with him going to check on malenia). the connection bit is just him trying his best to sever the tie of family with jay, in. strange ways. he told jay back at the block that she would no longer be his daughter, but still seemed to circle around that topic during 100.

she's stronger now. that's impossible to deny. okay.LISTEN okay i don't really know how to analyze rationalize wordicize about this part but DO YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING okay bye

#from the deep dark #I STARTED SCREENSHOTTING AND THEN REALIZED I WAS SCREENSHOTTING EVERY VERSE i am so normal.#okay.Sorry for being deranged about musicals and the ferins it will continue to happen

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sleepyleftistdemon · 1 year

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Rep. Lauren Boebert's son called 911 in December to report that his father, Jayson Boebert, had gotten physical with him and was "throwing" him around the house and that he didn't know why.

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havenroyals · 2 years

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After months of - impatiently - waiting, Harper Winters finally aired her live interview with Mila Summers. The conversation relieved many jaw-dropping details about the "aspiring singer's" life. The first shocking moment was when Jay Morgan - Pop singer Kassandra's father - came out to support his fiancee.

Yes, you read that correctly. Fiancee. And the mother of his son Jayson Morgan Jr. Those were the smaller bombshells of the interview. Summers spoke openly about the harassment she's experienced since her "relationship" was made public. A relationship she denies started as an affair. Winters asked if Kassandra's video to her fans cooled the flames a bit.

"Not at all. If anything, [Kassandra] made it worse. She came off as the victim when she's not. How can anyone side with her? She hasn't reached out to me. She hasn't sent anything for me or her brother. She doesn't even talk to her dad. Who does that? Her own dad. Shame."

Harper challenged the couple as we expected. She pushed them about the infidelity, Mila's "singing career", and using Kassandra's name for attention. Mr Morgan became defensive at this point.

He said: "That's my name. That's my daughter. I raised her. Her mama out here letting 'fans' call her 'Mama Morgan'. That's my name. You know what these clowns are calling me? Everything but my f***ing name. Why? Because I'm in a new relationship? What does that have to do with anybody? Not even my daughter can tell me who to be with. Do you know what she told me? I'm not her father anymore! Can you believe it? I made that girl. She's disrespectful. I blame that boy. I told her [Raleigh] was no good for her. I didn't even press charges when he sucker punched me. I could have laid his a** out, but I didn't. And this is how my child treats me. A year of silence."

"Sucker punch"? Is that why Rassandra called it quits? Was Kassandra torn between her partner and father? There were rumors Jay disapproved of Raleigh Carerra, which he did confirm. Initially, many thought it was justified since Carerra was a notorious "bad boy". However, with all we know about Jay, we can't help but think Raleigh was trying to protect his girl from her awful dad.

Adorable nap: Mila allowed Harper Winter to film her three-month-old son, Jay Morgan Jr.

The reception of the interview was mostly negative towards Mila and Jay. The media and fans have called out the two for continuing to "drag Kassandra and her mother". Obviously, the singer wants nothing to do with her father; Jay has confirmed it. Yet, these delusional people feel entitled to Kassandra's attention and riches. Later in the interview, Mila ranted that Kassandra hasn't offered financial support to "me or her little brother".

Kassandra's team have not issued a statement, and we say good for her. Our opinions don't matter, but we are proud of Kassandra for keeping her distance. Even families can be toxic. If Jay and Mila cannot afford their son, they should not be parents. We hope all works out for the little guy and the whole family.

Stay tuned for more Pop Culture news with Gossip Queen.

GQ ISSUE I | Previous | Next

#ts4 simblr #ts4 legacy #the sims community #ts4 storytelling #sims 4 storytelling #writeblr #gossip queen tabloid #a-media #oc: Kassandra #oc: Raleigh

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cyarskj1899 · 1 year

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POLITICS

No Speaker of the House Yet, But Here's Who We'd Nominate to Fill the Void

The Speaker doesn't have to be a member of Congress (like, who knew?) So we decided to nominate a few of our own: Beyoncé, Common, Al Sharpton and more.

Jessica Washington

PublishedYesterday 5:40PM

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Republicans are hard at work doing their favorite activity, making it impossible to do any governing. For the first time in 100 years, a nominee from the party in power failed to win the initial floor vote. (Congrats on the biggest failure of the century, Representative Kevin McCarthy).

Until they can come to an agreement, the House is at a complete standstill. But while the Republicans were spending their time squabbling, over at the Root, we decided to find a solution.

Fun fact, anyone can be elected as Speaker of the House regardless even if they’re not a member of congress.

So in the interest of helping democracy function and having a few laughs, here are The Rootnominees for Speaker of the House.

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Queen Bé for Speaker

Obviously we can’t have a conversation about leadership without talking about the queen herself, Beyoncé. Sure, she has zero political experience, but I’d vote for her over McCarthy in a heartbeat.

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Megan Thee Stallion

She may not have any track record in politics, but this original Hot Girl, is tough enough for any challenge. She’d be dog walking the entire chamber in no time, and we’d love to see a speaker who can lay down the law and the beats.

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Meghan Markle

The princess of our hearts managed to shake one of the oldest monarchies to its core just be existing. We’re pretty sure she could take on the U.S. Congress without breaking a sweat. And if they try to bully her, well, we know this duchess has Netflix on speed dial.

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Common Takes Congress

Not to be crude, but the photo kind of speaks for itself. But seriously, looks aside, Common has been talking about issues in the Black community for decades with eloquence and poise. Congress could certainly use a touch of his soothing wit, even if his nomination would make Fox News explode.

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Serena Williams

If you’ve ever seen Serena Williams body the competition at a tennis match, then you know the members of congress stand no chance against her. She’s fiery, she’s passionate, and honestly that killer serve alone wins her my vote.

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Rev. Al Sharpton

This one is a no-brainer. Reverend Al Sharpton has been a civil rights icon since way before I’ve been alive. He loves to talk (so being speaker should be pretty easy). Get this man a gavel cause he’s certainly got our vote.

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Keke Palmer

Who can forget the time Keke Palmer absolutely destroyed the central Republican villain of the early 2000s. But seriously, if she can unintentionally destroy Dick Cheney’s ego, imagine what she could do to the rest of the party if she was actually trying. All I’m going to say is that Ms. Keke P absolutely has my vote.

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Oprah Winfrey

Has Oprah Winfrey earned some major side-eye from us over the years, sure. (**Cough Cough** Dr. Oz). But no one can deny that Oprah knows how to bring folks together. In a divided Congress, Oprah might be the only person capable of uniting the country.

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Shannon Sharpe

This one is just a pure chaos pick. Do I know anything about how Shannon Sharpe will be as a leader? No, but wouldn’t it be wild watching Republicans try to deal with this man on a daily basis, 100 percent. And for that reason, he’s got my vote.

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Jayson Tatum

Promise we’re not just picking people because they’re handsome. Jayson Tatum happens to be a phenomenal leader of the Boston Celtics, and I think that says something about his ability to lead Congress. And yes, we wouldn’t mind looking at him for the next four years.

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Vice President Kamala Harris

Nominating Vice President Kamala Harris for Speaker of the House wouldn’t really make any sense (she’s got her hands full). But you have to admit, having someone competent in the role would be pretty nice.

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Former-First Lady Michelle Obama

I mean come-on haven’t we earned seeing Michelle Obama in a leadership position? Mostly, it would really piss of conservatives, and I’m honestly here for that too.

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Lou Bega

Mambo No. 5 stole my heart as a child, and now I want to help Lou Bega steal the speaker’s gavel. From what I can tell he hasn’t done a ton since his major hit, so he’s probably free to take over Congress.

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Loni Love

If you’ve ever seen Loni Love talk, you know she can command a room (ask anyone who saw her host the Root 100). All we need is to give this talk show host a gavel, and I’m sure she’d solve Congress in a heartbeat.

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Representative Hakeem Jeffries

Y’all know I had to throw someone serious onto the list. While Republicans floundered, Democrats unanimously voted to elect Rep. Hakeem Jeffries as House Speaker, making him the first Black politician to lead either party. Jeffries was also the first person since 2007 to unanimously win the support of their party for leadership. Democrats don’t hold the majority, so it’s highly unlikely that Jeffries will be Speaker (although not technically against the rules). But there was no way to make this list without at least giving the New York Representative an honorable mention.

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Sent from my iPhone

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denisjayson · 6 months

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KOKAIN on 11|11|23 by Denis Jayson

https://linktr.ee/kokaln

New song KOKAIN by Denis Jayson

Denis Jayson - KOKAIN

On 11|11|23

Available on Spotify, iTunes, Music, YouTube, etc

#KOKAIN #KOKAINE #COCAIN #DENIS JAYSON #NEW SONG #new music #new music friday #NEW MUSIC DAILY #NEW MUSIC SUNDAY #1111 #November 11 #music #musica #Spotify #Apple Music #iTunes #YouTube #tiktok

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angelvyxen · 3 months

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Lebron cheating is the only rumor I will always deny because I just hate it so bad. If it came out that Steph is cheating I’d actually be so sick.

Girl I loved me some JB 😭we need to find someone to continue the sister wife legacy since Jayson is on thin ice

The Lebron rumors bother you? I don’t know why but the first time I heard them I wasn’t surprised lmfaoo. In my mind, it is what it is.

I was thinking about Jayson the other night, trying to figure out what he was doing to make me not be on him as bad as I was but I really think it’s just the fact that there’s no delusional material 😭. The girls have left, nobody is fueling anyone’s delusions anymore lmfaooo.

but i still love my man don’t get me wrong. my man, my man, my man!

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masterofd1saster · 4 months

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CJ current events 11jan24

How not to deny something

Rep Lauren Boebert and her ex-husband Jayson Boebert had minor domestic dispute at a restaurant on Saturday in Silt, Colorado.

In a statement to The Denver Post from her campaign manager, Boebert said, “This is a sad situation for all that keeps escalating and another reason I’m moving. I didn’t punch Jayson in the face and no one was arrested.”

I think I would have said

Jayson and I were married for 18 years. We have been blessed with four sons and one grandchild. When a marriage like this must end, it's not surprising that emotions run high. Neither of us was arrested. Neither of us was cited by police. Neither of us wants the other prosecuted. Mostly, we want to resolve our differences amicably and privately.

Rep Boebert is a lightning rod for every leftist and elitist in the country. If you drink beer, you probably like her. If you can imagine saying "what a delightful chablis," you probably hate her. Either way, the Denver Post and papers like it have been fervently praying for her to lose an election.

***

Helpful advice from BB

9 Hilarious Pranks To Pull On The FBI Agents Tapped Into Your Phone Line

Try a few of these classic pranks the next time you're on the phone:

Say the school board protest has been moved somewhere else: When the FBI sends a whole SWAT team to the wrong location, they'll look SO STUPID! HA!

Mess with their heads by saying "Trump is an insurrectionist dictator" alongside "Trump is our savior": They won't know whose side you're on.

Say "Hey, FBI agent, is your refrigerator running?": When they answer "Yes," then say "Well, you better go catch it!" then hang up and laugh. GOT 'EM!

Identify yourself as Hunter Biden and pretend you're ordering a Ukrainian hooker: They'll hang up faster than you can say "bribery scam."

Sing a few bars of a Beatles song every few minutes so they can't play the recording in court: Licensing fees cost a fortune.

Create a fake accomplice named "Mike Rotch": They'll have to officially enter it into court records and it'll be read out loud. It'll be hilarious.

Say "Hey, are those some catholic nuns over there across the street praying at the abortion clinic? Why, I do believe they are!": Then sit back and watch those guys go crazy falling over themselves to go tackle some old ladies.

Call anyone on January 6th and say "The plan is a go. Execute Operation MAGA.": This one is a lot of fun, but you may end up in solitary for a few decades.

Say "asphinchtersayswhat": What?

If you're going to be under federal surveillance, you might as well get a few laughs out of it along the way. Have fun!

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BB again

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Drugs are cool!

COLERAIN TOWNSHIP, Ohio (WXIX) - A 16-year-old student was arrested after police say he assaulted his teacher. A few minutes after 2:15 p.m. Thursday, Colerain Township police said school resource officers were notified that a teacher was assaulted by her teen student inside a Colerain High School classroom. An initial investigation led officers to find out the student “ingested an unknown drug” before becoming “distraught,” Colerain Township police wrote in their report. The 16-year-old then assaulted the teacher and a classmate before running out of the classroom, police explained. The teacher was punched “multiple times in the head,” according to the Hamilton County Prosecutor’s Office. The teacher was taken by EMS to the University of Cincinnati Medical Center. At the hospital, the prosecutor’s office said the teacher had her skull cap removed to prevent damage from swelling. The Cleveland Clinic describes this as a “major brain surgery.” Family members tell FOX19 NOW she has yet to wake up. Responding officers later found the 16-year-old student in the school’s career center lobby, the police report states. The student appeared to be hallucinating and had a self-inflicted head injury**** https://www.fox19.com/2024/01/05/colerain-hs-student-arrested-after-teacher-assaulted-classroom/

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Good job there, FBI

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There's trashy, and then there's

A Missouri teacher has been charged with statutory rape for allegedly having sex with a 16-year-old student while other students served as “lookouts” — with the boy’s father also facing a felony charge for condoning the disturbing relationship. Laquey High School math teacher Hailey Clifton-Carmack, 26, was arrested in Garden Ridge, Texas, on Friday after she “was suspected of fleeing the State of Missouri” to avoid arrest warrants, according to law enforcement. Allegations of the sex crimes committed by Clifton-Carmack first arose on Dec. 7, 2023.*** Clifton-Carmack — a recently divorced mother of two — would often wear “tight or low-cut shirts” to show off her “headlights” and “tight leggings that ‘showed off her camel toe,’” according to court documents. The witness told investigators the victim was the reason “her divorce was pushed through” and that “Hailey had wanted a divorce due to her husband only wanting to ‘do butt stuff,'” the court document revealed.*** In a shocking twist, new charges have been brought against the boy’s father, who allegedly revealed to others that he was aware of his son’s illicit relationship with the teacher. Mark Creighton was arrested on Thursday on charges of endangering the welfare of a child. On Wednesday, a second witness revealed they told the teen’s father of the alleged wrongdoings, to which he replied he was aware Clifton-Carmack and his 16-year-old son were in a “sexual relationship,” according to court documents.*** The father also allegedly shared he knew that his son and the math teacher used other students as “lookouts” to have sex during school hours. Creighton “knew of the relationship of his minor child and the 26-year-old teacher, and instead of reporting the information, he continued to cover for them and allowed the relationship to continue” and “even allowed Hailey to come over to his residence and see the victim while he was present,” according to prosecutors.*** https://nypost.com/2024/01/09/news/missouri-teacher-slapped-with-rape-charges-after-having-sex-with-teen-while-using-other-students-as-lookouts-boys-dad-busted-for-allowing-relationship-docs/

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Canada rocks!

https://ottawacitizen.com/news/national/defence-watch/military-police-threaten-to-charge-sex-worker-who-offers-discounts-to-canadian-soldiers

Military police are threatening to charge a sex worker who offers discounts to Canadian soldiers and senior leaders are warning troops to stay away from the Kingston-area woman. But such efforts have backfired and sex worker Christina Lea Gilchrist tells this newspaper that she is being inundated with messages from military personnel interested in the services she provides. The selling of sex in Canada is legal but military police allege Gilchrist broke the law with the “unlawful use of military uniforms,” according to police documents. “Upon review of your website, it was noticed that you were not only advertising your services wearing a military uniform which is a controlled piece of clothing, but also displaying other parties engaging in sexual acts while also in uniform,” military police stated in a message sent to Gilchrist on Dec. 18. But Gilchrist, who offers discounts to Canadian Forces personnel, pointed out she has repeatedly stated in her advertising that she is not nor has never been a member of any military. “I’ve never walked around in public pretending to be a soldier,” she explained. “People in movies dressed up as soldiers aren’t impersonating soldiers, so why do (military police) think that I am?”***

To be fair, we generally don't let private entities use our uniforms in advertising. If you look at the NFCU commercial with two Marines chasing a card thief, their name and service tapes are blurred.

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United States and California Announce Diesel Engine Manufacturer Cummins Inc. Agrees to Pay a Record $1.675 Billion Civil Penalty in Vehicle Test Cheating Settlement

The Justice Department, Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), California Air Resources Board (CARB) and California Attorney General’s Office today released the details of a proposed settlement with diesel engine maker Cummins Inc. for alleged violations of the Clean Air Act and California law. Beyond agreeing to pay a $1.675 billion civil penalty – the largest ever assessed in a Clean Air Act case – Cummins has agreed to spend more than $325 million to remedy the violations, which included the use of software “defeat devices” that circumvented emissions testing and certification requirements. Under the settlement, Cummins must complete a nationwide vehicle recall to repair and replace the engine control software in more than 600,000 RAM 2500 and RAM 3500 pickup trucks equipped with the company’s diesel engines. Cummins will also extend the warranty period for certain parts in the repaired vehicles, fund and perform projects to mitigate excess ozone-creating nitrogen oxides (NOx) emitted from the vehicles and employ new internal procedures designed to prevent future emissions cheating. In total, the settlement is valued at more than $2 billion.*** “Cummins installed illegal defeat devices on more than 600,000 RAM pickup trucks, which exposed overburdened communities across America to harmful air pollution,” said Assistant Administrator David M. Uhlmann of EPA’s Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assurance. “This record-breaking Clean Air Act penalty demonstrates that EPA is committed to holding polluters accountable and ensuring that companies pay a steep price when they break the law.” *** https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/united-states-and-california-announce-diesel-engine-manufacturer-cummins-inc-agrees-pay

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Other people get flattened, but Ray gets straight probation?

An Arizona man at the center of the Capitol attack’s most persistent conspiracy theories was sentenced Tuesday to a year of probation for his role in the Jan. 6, 2021, riot. Ray Epps, 62, pleaded guilty in September to one count as part of a deal with Justice Department prosecutors. He admitted to engaging in disorderly or disruptive conduct in a restricted building or grounds after storming the Capitol.*** Epps was also ordered Tuesday to pay $500 in restitution and to serve 100 hours of community service. Prosecutors requested six months in prison for Epps, who they said engaged in a “rugby scrum-like group effort” to shove past police officers.*** https://thehill.com/homenews/4397624-ray-epps-jan-6-conspiracy-theories-sentenced/

Is it still a theory if he receives the lightest sentence so far? https://www.justice.gov/usao-dc/media/1331746/dl?inline looks like only one other defendant received only a year probation, Eliel Rosa. Some people, e.g., Christopher Worrell, received 10 years in prison.

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Buy an air conditioner with an eternal warranty

A former Oregon Department of Human Services employee, Zakary Glover, 30, pleaded guilty [Jan. 9, 2023] to violating the civil rights of a woman with developmental disabilities who was in his care by engaging in sexual misconduct with her.*** Glover worked as a direct support crisis specialist for the Office of Developmental Disabilities Stabilization and Crisis Unit. On Nov. 2, 2021, Glover transported an adult woman in his care to an outing in Salem, Oregon. The victim suffers from severe autism and epilepsy, cognitive delays and very limited verbal ability. Staff members responsible for her care communicate by showing her picture books, displaying YouTube videos or drawing pictures. During the outing, Glover detoured down a dead-end road in Aumsville, Oregon. Glover parked the van and then, using force, attempted to and did cause the victim to engage in a sexual act without her consent. After doing so, Glover forcefully grabbed her and then positioned his body in a way that allowed him to attempt to force her into another non-consensual sexual act. Glover admitted that the victim did not consent to any of the sexual activity. Among other offenses, his conduct constituted attempted aggravated sexual abuse. A sentencing hearing is set for April 30. *** https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/former-oregon-state-employee-pleads-guilty-federal-civil-rights-charges-after-violating

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That's it?

I'm a former prison inmate - here are the common habits that could land YOU behind bars

Amanda Dove, who was previously convicted for armed robbery, took to TikTok to share the fascinating insight with her 887,000 followers. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12940323/Former-prison-inmate-common-habits-jail.html

Her top three are don't lie on your food stamp applications, don't shoplift, and don't hack into your ex's social media.

Personally, I think Chris Rocks advice in https://youtu.be/uj0mtxXEGE8 is the best I've ever heard. His list starts at 34 seconds.

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