#dazai looks at oda's empty face only seeking revenge and death and thinks fuck he is my best friend

[ningensorrow]

more on my odasaku lives and runs away with soukoku au i will eventually (never) write

dazai managed to stop oda before he could get to face gide

"if you go there you'll die" "yes I know"

"didn't you want to be a writer?!"

dazai yells, which his eyebrows furrowed, and there is a weird expression, one that stops odasaku for a second. dazai's usually inexpressive eyes are widened and there is something unfamiliar in his face

oda realizes that is hopelessness and his heart clenches

"I did," he replies.

dazai looks desperate and so terribly young as he says, "if you go there i'll have to watch you die"

and oh.

oh.

odasaku cant do that to him, can he?

he thinks about his orphans, his kids, about the explosion, about guilt, and he thinks, I can't do that to him.

odasaku says, mori wants be dead, doesn't he.

and dazai fills the gasp between them and grabs his sleeve and he looks at him with those strange, yet fitting, emotions, and he says, please, so quietly odasaku almost thinks he imagined it.

but it was real.

and so he nods.

dazai drags him (read as: attempts to, cause he is way too underweight and doesn't have the strength) and he doesn't know where he is going.

they ventur into some decaying part of the city, almost at the edge of it, until they're in front of an empty storehouse. dazai pushes them into it, closing the door behind them.

"it's a safehouse, one mori doesn't know about"

there is still something careful in his voice, a type of uncertainty that rarely is present.

swiftly, dazai walks across the room, almost completely empty except for a couch, a small, round table and a dusty carpet. there is also an oil lamp, and while dazai is grabbing something from the table, he goes to turn it on.

the light is eerie and it accentuates the pale tone of dazai's skin and the unlived state of the safehouse.

his grief has never been louder.

"all done, now we wait," dazai chippers, but his eyes are sharp. he is pocketing a phone - not the one he always has, and neither one of the mafia burners.

odasaku must have been staring, because dazai smirks, and shrugs. "precautions," he simply says, and oda nods.

"what are we waiting for?" "why, for an annoying dog to bark, of course!"

the words float above his head for a moment, before he understands their meaning.

he sighs.

he wonders if it's too late to go back and have his final duel.

if he is right, he just damned himself to a slow and painful death.

#oda is alive au #odasaku runs away with soukoku #dazai said not today satan and flipped mori off #dazai looks at oda's empty face only seeking revenge and death and thinks fuck he is my best friend #and i dont want him to die #dazai convinces oda to live and run away with him and then he thinks about being without chuuya and #fuck i am in love with him i need him to come with me #soukoku totally have a secret personal safehouse #btw dazai sends him a text saying return melos which is a code #chuuya replies with a fuck u shitty dazai and then storms into the safehouse 32 hours later pissed off #because he just returned from a solo mission and fuck you bastard not everyone lazes around all the time i need my fucking rest #dazai then handcuffs chuuya to him so he cant use his ability and smirks #chuuya almost kills dazai #dazai doesnt explain shit to chuuya and odasaku is just too done #ah yes young love #soukoku #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #bsd #dazai osamu #chuuya #odasaku #bsd headcanon #bsd ficlet #i wrote this #llex.exe