#conversations with kajmere | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artgroves · 6 years

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My dear S,

I hardly know where to begin, but begin I must and speak as plainly as I can by such means as are available to me. I plan to leave this letter with the rest of the mail at our next supply stop so that my mind and my heart need not wait until I see you again, though I must content myself to do so.

It is curious to me that my hands have not shaken nor my heart quailed so much as now even when we engaged a pirate sloop in open waters and in a storm to boot. I confess I can hardly write.

You see, my dear friend, I cannot forget our conversation though it was some weeks ago and I will surely understand if it was but a passing exchange in your view with nothing at all meant by it. As for me, it has taken root inside me and will not let me rest.

We were among friends, yours and mine, dining in the home of Colonel Philips, and, certain of the unrequited nature of my affection and sailing out next morning for God alone knows how long, I wanted to put this hopeless love aside with only your genuine happiness in mind. I wished you good fortune in your pursuit of a certain indomitable British aristocrat whose company you had kept most of the evening. You looked me in the eye and said no such pursuit existed, and that your eyes and hopes had always rested elsewhere. Those very same eyes never left mine as you spoke, and may God have pity on my soul, but between one breath and the next I spent a lifetime in your arms, and you in mine.

Now, in the quiet before the final watch with naught but the creaking of rope and sail and the snoring belowdecks for company, I wonder whether my memory of your words grows fanciful and if indeed you will read this and pity me for a wretch and a fool. Let it be as it must, but I can no longer keep this silent inside me.

If I have the wrong of it, you needn't worry, this I promise you now, I will not trouble you again.

However, if you meant what you said to me, if indeed I have not misconstrued your intention, know that I ache for you. You alone reside in my every free waking thought and your presence is the first I shall seek out upon my return so I can take the repeat of your fair words directly from your lips.

All my love, yet humbly, and without expectation,

Yours, J

Happy Birthday @kajmere! <333

also on AO3

#Stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Pre-Serum Steve Rogers #HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING #HAVE SOME REGENCY PINING #I hope you enjoy!#Age of Sail #Epistolary #Regency AU #Fandom Loves Puerto Rico #FLPR #thank you so much for bidding on me back then #and for your patience since #scuse the ficlet!#I just wanted to give the art some context and I imagined them pining from afar all over each other #also it's your birthday so I tried to make it a little special! <3 #and look i don't know what you've been told but the truth is #purple prose never killed anyone #I stand by this she said as she put the cap back on the purplest of pens #listen BUCKY HAS FEELINGS OKAY #DON'T BOTTLE UP YOUR FEELINGS BUCKY #oh hey but message in a bottle could have worked here #we could have bottled up those feelings bucky but no you had to go purple prose all over this #what's steve gonna think huh?#well #aside from wanting to get in your awesome button-up dick-flap pants that is #guys seriously have you ever researched regency men's fashion #i'm pretty sure it was made with sneaky blowies in mind #JS

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