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cyn-00 · 4 years

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Moreid one shot, 14 - "this thing"

Season 2, episode 12 "Profiler, profiled" (the one where Carl Buford is arrested for murdering one of the kids from the Youth Center of Chicago South Side, so the whole story about him being a pedophile rapist - and Derek being one of his victims as a kid - comes up. I wanna point out that originally I think only Gideon and Hotch discover Derek's direct involvement in this, but for the sake of this fic we'll pretend Reid does, too)

@tastefulancientwhispers asked me to tag her if I ever wrote a fic based on this scene :) so here I am. I shamelessly abused of italics in this one, heh

Also, I have a long-ish DISCLAIMER to make, that applies to all my works and not only this one. I think it's important to address that in this fic I won't mention the topic illustrated in the episode: this work mostly revolves around the famous line "Derek talks about you", said by Derek's sister to Spencer. My purpose was to write a "light" awkward/fluffy fic - almost love confession if you will - avoiding to focus on Derek's history of abuse. I think that's too delicate and serious of a topic for me to try and describe it merely through Derek's words/thoughts; especially considering that I should "filter" this narrative to fit my actual, sole scope of rendering Morgan + Reid's relationship. I actually HAVE focused more overtly on the Buford arc before, in my One shot 8, referencing a much late episode, but I hope I managed to dissuade anyone who read it from thinking that my intent was to romanticize the sexual abuse Derek suffered. Even though I admittedly enjoy reading fics based on the abused/care-taker trope, I still think it's risky to treat such topics if the writer's purpose isn't to convey some sort of "moral". Which is exactly why I'm always reluctant to treat directly and in depth Morgan's trauma as well as Reid's drug addiction: I haven't experienced either of these things, hence I don't think I'd be able to illustrate them properly and without triggering anyone who might be sensitive to said topics. Thank you if you dedicated your time to reading this intro, I hope the message is clear and of easy understanding :) <3

Read it on AO3

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"Derek talks about you."

Reid couldn't stop replaying that phrase in his head, in an endless loop.

In the exact moment Sarah had said that, his immediate reaction had been to smile - like a total idiot, by the way - but now that everything was over and Spencer had the time to think about it, he couldn't help but wonder what she meant.

"Talk" how? "Talk" doesn't mean anything. It just means SAYING things, PRONOUNCING words. Did he say good stuff? Or did he make fun of him? Why did she feel the need to let him know that Morgan "talked" about him? He must've talked about Emily too, sometimes, but Sarah didn't say "Derek talks about both of you ".

He hadn't had the time to deepen the topic because as soon as he replied - "he does??" : again, a complete moron - Emily interrupted them to, righteously, get back to the actual subject: Carl Buford.

The second Reid remembered about it, all those dumb questions wandering in his head vanished. Poof. How could he keep obsessing about that stupid phrase while Morgan was going through what he was going through? Derek had trusted him enough to tell only him, besides Hotch and Gideon, and what was Spencer doing? Thinking about "Derek talks about you". He probably had MENTIONED him, or said, like: "oh you know there's this kid in my unit, socially awkward, total nerd, only thing he does is read like 20 books a da-"

"Reid?"

Emily's voice came loud like a train crushing into his ear drums. Spencer winced in his swivel chair.

"Mh?" he mumbled, looking up at her.

"...are you gonna go home or you're planning to keep working?" she asked him, jokingly.

"Yeah, no, I- I mean, yes I'm going home, no I have no intention to keep working, trust me..." he replied distractedly, checking his watch. It was 9:30 pm: not even that late...so why was she asking? Spencer had the sudden impression that she wanted something, and THAT was just a lame excuse to start a conversation.

"I was just double checking an e-mail I had to send." he continued, noticing that she wasn't even wearing her coat, neither had her bag in hand. She could've studied the scene better.

"Oh- yeah...your computer is off but, whatevs" she shrugged, pointing at the black desktop. He could've studied his scene better, too.

He looked at where she was pointing for a second, then stood up and grabbed his satchel.

"I know I was uhm...just, thinking about a thing " he said, understanding why literally everybody labeled him as a bad liar. Still, he didn't wanna spit it all out.

"A thing ?" she echoed him, raising her brows.

"Yes, a-" Reid interrupted himself before he had even decided how to phrase the thing to keep it vague enough. He saw Morgan get out of Hotch's office and heading quickly toward the sliding doors of the bullpen, with his head down.

"...a thing. Gotta go, see you tomorrow!" he said in a rush, quickly walking in Derek's direction without making it too obvious that he was basically running toward him.

"Spencer! Wait- wait a second." she said grabbing his arm from behind, after he'd only got 15 ft far.

He turned around, frowning.

"I, uhm, I don't think he's in the mood to...talk ? right now..." Emily said softly, with an awkward smile on her face.

"You know?" she added, tilting her head, hoping that she wouldn't have to explain further.

Spencer gulped, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. She was right, and if only she'd known the whole story, she would've been even righter. If there's even such a thing as being more right than...right.

"Yes, I- I know, but I wasn't planning on talking about... about that, I just have to ask him this... thing." he replied slightly embarrassed, looking down at the floor.

"Is the 'thing' you wanna ask him the same 'thing' you were thinking about earlier?"

"...yes" he answered almost murmuring, like it was some kind of secret - which is what it was still supposed to be, to her: a secret. Because, in the end, he hadn't even TOLD her, so how did she KNOW? How did she do that? Emily always did that. Fuck.

"And is this 'thing' what I think it is?" she pried, lowering her voice to the same volume of Spencer's.

"I...I don't know?" he replied, only not to give her the satisfaction of receiving the millionth "yes". But the answer was: yes.

"Then go, ask him the 'thing'. " Emily concluded, nodding her chin in the elevator's direction.

Spencer leveled his eyes with hers, gladly noticing a reassuring look of complicity appear on her face.

He nodded, smiling at her in a silly way before turning around.

Spencer quickly headed toward the elevator, hoping Derek hadn't got too far in the meantime - or, even worse: had already started his car.

He saw the elevator doors closing.

"Wait! Hold it!" he shouted, speaking to whoever was inside it.

He ran, jumping in between the doors.

Morgan was inside. Of course. What the hell was he still doing there? Did...did he wait for him? No, that was impossible and way too optimistic. He'd probably bumped into Penelope, who had kept him talking in the hallway for an amount of time nearing a decade.

They stared at each other for a solid 20 seconds, gaping, while the doors closed behind Spencer's back, leaving them alone - luckily.

Spencer figured the unsteadiness of his breathing wasn't due to the "run" anymore. He gave up on trying to slow it down, and decided he was going to speak up first, since Derek still looked frozen like an ice cube. Maybe he was annoyed by Spencer's presence, and he just wanted to avoid starting a conversation to make the interaction as quick as possible and finally go hom-

"R- Reid" Derek's thorough and slightly hoarse voice broke the silence.

"I was kinda looking for you, earlier. Gave up at a certain point." he added, smiling a bit. He looked... embarrassed? Was that even possible? For Derek Morgan to be embarrassed?

Spencer swallowed nervously, flattered. "Me too, actually."

Derek opened his mouth like he wanted to say something first, before the other could continue. But he got interrupted by the doors opening up again behind Spencer.

He pointed at the empty lobby with his finger, seeing that Reid hadn't even noticed they'd arrived at ground floor already.

Spencer turned around. They got out and he stopped 3 ft from the elevator, standing still, fiddling nervously with his hands. Was Derek expecting him to follow him or something? Were they gonna talk the next day? Or was he supposed to drop the topic forever because time was up?

Derek, who had got ahead in the meantime, turned around.

"You comin?" he asked, non-chalantly.

"Uhm, yeah- where?" Spencer replied, finally taking jogging steps forward to reach him, feeling like the marble floor was starting to sink under the soles of his Converses from standing there for so long.

"I'll give you a ride home. I don't know how you take the subway every fucking day." Derek replied, snorting.

Spencer smiled back, shyly.

"...thanks" he mumbled, looking down at his feet while walking outside with him, their arms only a couple of inches from touching.

They stayed silent until they arrived to the car. When they did, Derek stopped before either of them could get in.

"Listen, uh, I- I hope you're not gonna ask me stuff about... about Buford because honestly I can't take anymore pity-faces. Especially yours." he said in a deep tone.

"Nonono, no, absolutely not- I mean, if you ever wanna talk about it I'm here but I'm not- I don't wanna pressure you or anything." Spencer answered defensively, feeling his heartbeat racing. He wondered what he meant by "especially yours". Was his pity-face more annoying than the others'? Apparently, saying indecipherable phrases that made Reid go paranoid was a Morgans' family thing.

He saw Morgan nodding uncomfortably. Reid gazed silently at him for a bit, taking a careful look of him as a whole. He didn't look good- well, what the hell, of course he looked good, but he didn't look ok. He seemed exhausted and quite anxious - understandably. Nobody had ever seen him like that, and honestly it freaked Spencer out a little. The first thing that popped into his mind, was that such behavior was partially his fault; hence, he spoke up, trying to put a halt to it.

"You know what, I'm- it's late, actually, and you look like you need to stay alone for a while so, I'm just gonna take the subway it's no big dea-"

"No, kid, can you just- can you just stay ? Please..." Derek interrupted him, grabbing his thin wrist before he could get any further.

Spencer's heart warmed up. He eyed down at Derek's grip, unprepared to how even such a faint touch was sending goosebumps all over his arm. Much to his relief, not one but two layers of clothing - shirt AND jacket - hid that reaction from the other man's sight.

"Alright." Reid nodded after a bit, not because he was undecided, but because he was trying to get a hold of said goosebumps. He raised his gaze again to smile idiotically at him.

Derek grinned back apologetically, before ultimately making his way around the car to get in the driver's seat.

"So, I heard that you and Prentiss were the ones who had to go talk to my family, am I right?" he asked, with a tone and a way of phrasing the question that was nothing short of a desperate attempt to make it sound low-key and casual. Especially since he chose to say it while opening the car door. Like it didn't matter that much, or at least not enough to say it once he'd be sitting down comfortably. Unfortunately for him, Spencer picked up on all of that.

"Yeah!" Spencer answered, a little too enthusiastically for one who was trying with all his strength not to give the impression that he wanted to talk exactly about that, that he basically read his mind. Unfortunately for him, Derek picked up on those kind of things too - after all, they were paid to do it. To understand behavior. At times they forgot how much more difficult that made their mutual interactions, as well as more authentic.

Derek smiled to himself a little bit and started the car.

"So, how were they?" he asked teasingly, knowing that even if Spencer thought they were the worst people in the world, he would've never told him so. His heart was too pure.

"They're really nice. And they care a lot about you. You're lucky like that..." Spencer replied lowering his voice, revealing a slightly melancholic inflection.

Derek catched a glimpse of him while driving. He knew he wasn't referring to his mom, but to his dad. And he knew there was a big difference between how he lost his own dad and how Spencer lost his: Derek's father died. Spencer's father purposely left him: grabbed his shit, got on his feet, walked away from his wife and son. How a father could do that, was something that Derek would never understand.

"The cake was good, wasn't it?" he asked after a few seconds of heavy silence, trying to lift up the mood.

Spencer finally shifted his eyes to look at him. "Yeah, definitely" he answered, and Derek's mission could be considered accomplished, as a sweet smile appeared on his colleague's face; sweeter than that cake they were talking about - yes, Morgan thought about such comparison. He could've compared it with another million sweet things: caramel like his eyes; honey like his hair under the sunlight; strawberry like the color of his lips... Oh. Dammit.

"I wanna ask you a thing, though..." the sweet voice of the man object of his current fantasies gently snapped Derek out of his thoughts.

"What's that?" Derek asked, hiding the fact that he was shitting his pants wondering what Spencer's question could possibly be.

Spencer nervously played with the buckle of his leather bag, resting on his lap.

"Your sisters, both of them they- they immediately recognized me." he stayed vague. " "Doctor Reid" " he added making the 'quote' gesture with his fingers, smiling self-complacently.

"Well, yeah, we've been working together for...2 years or something, right?" Derek kept the dumb-play going, as if he hadn't basically been keeping count since.

"...2 years and 18 days to be precise...but anyway," Spencer paused to clear his voice. "Sarah, she specifically said that...uhm...that you talk about me. She- she said: 'Derek talks about you'."

Morgan abruptly hit the brakes of his car to stop at a red light that he noticed at the last second, distracted by what Reid had just said, making him wince.

"Wow. Well- fuck, my sisters really don't how to shut their mouths, do they?" he said, laughing a bit nervously.

"Well they- they didn't say anything- I mean, they just said that you "talk" about me but I'm guessing you talk about all of us, of cours-"

"No, Spencer. She meant a specific thing." Morgan interrupted him softly, parking his car. Yes: they'd already arrived at Reid's place.

After a long silence, during which Reid's face remained stuck in a confused scowl, Morgan turned off the car. He sighed, before turning slightly to his right to stare into Reid's hazelnut-hued eyes. Talking to him while driving was easier, because he couldn't look at that face of his. But now that he could, it got x10 times more difficult.

"She didn't say it to Emily, or both. She said it to you. Am I right?" Morgan was shamelessly giving up, gradually crumbling under the look the other was giving him.

Spencer nodded.

"...did you wonder why ?" he didn't wanna say it. God, he DID NOT wanna say it.

"Yes, I- I did, but honestly the only good answer I could come up with was that Emily hasn't been in the unit as long as I have so...I don't know, we still don't know her that well...?" Spencer replied, stuttering.

"That, too." Derek paused. He was thinking about a proper way to say it without freaking Spencer out. He didn't wanna say "it's because I like you", since he wasn't sure he did. Well, of course he LIKED him, but he still hadn't quite figured out if he liked him in that way.

Plus, he'd obviously noticed that Spencer, too, felt something...different. He was sure neither of them had a clue of what to do with it; on the other hand, he was also sure he had to give him a hint, one way or another. To make sure Reid understood that he wasn't imagining it, that there was something different. Even though that "something" didn't have a name yet. Maybe it would, some day.

After thinking for a long time, during which Spencer respectfully stayed silent, the "right" words found their way into Derek's mind, brooming away the dust that had been weighing down on his courage to say them all along.

"A'ight. 3 or 4 months ago I spent a weekend with my family. I don't know if you remember that I didn't come to get drinks with you guys cause I had to leave early in the morning." he started. Spencer nodded - of course he remembered. Dumb question.

"Ok so, one day I was... talking about you with them at dinner, I'm not sure what I was saying, honestly...but after a while Desirée said a thing that made me think." Derek paused, leaning closer to Spencer to make sure he listened carefully.

"She said, quote unquote: 'you know how you always say that Reid gets excited when he rambles about statistics? Well, that's kinda what you do when you talk about him...It's like, he's YOUR statistics'."

Spencer kept looking quietly into Derek's black eyes, without blinking once.

"She... s- she said that?" he then asked, just to be, you know, sure that he wasn't dreaming.

"Mhmh." Derek nodded shortly. "I remember it like it was yesterday. Guess some of that memory of yours must have rubbed off on me, huh?" he grinned brightly.

The burning shade of red staining Spencer's cheeks didn't but spread further, even if he had to bite back a: "that's not possible, Morgan; it doesn't work like that."

Derek continued. "When she said it, at first I thought she was fucking around, but then it's like...it opened my eyes. I- I don't know. I guess I don't even notice when I do it." he shook his head and stared blankly at an undefined spot outside, as if trying to clear his thoughts.

"...just like when we have to stop you from throwing up random statistics that literally nobody asked for." Morgan concluded cocking his head, with a playful and affectionate smile.

Reid giggled, now feeling his whole face on fire and his heart hammering into his ears. He was speechless. For once.

Derek gently placed his warm hand on the back of Spencer's neck, while the other man kept looking down at his bag, biting his bottom lip so hard he thought it could bleed.

"Do you talk about me to your mom?" Derek asked after a while, almost whispering. He kept his eyes glued on Spencer, even though he had clearly no intention of looking back at him any time soon. He wanted to catch every inch of his facial reaction.

"Should I be prepared for her telling me 'Spencer talks about you' if I ever meet her?" he kept the volume of his voice low, starting to stroke Spencer's neck with his thumb and smiling when he saw faint shivers appear on his skin.

"...m- maybe" Spencer answered, not wanting to reveal that literally 70% of the things he told his mom involved him, of which 40% were specifically about him.

Spencer managed to find a crumb of courage to shift his look and finally return Derek's gaze. But as soon as his so-fucking-handsome face reached his sight, along with that way his pupils were staring into him - a way he couldn't quite decipher but didn't mind, after all - he had to jerk his eyes away immediately, or else his heart would've burst out of his ribcage.

Hence, he decided to quickly and distractedly check his watch.

"I- I should probably go now..." he said. He didn't say it because he wanted to - oh, he SO didn't want to go - he just, had to. He didn't wanna ruin things. He wanted to keep that moment fixated into his memory just like it was, hoping many others like that one would come in the future.

"Yeah, you should..." Derek said, shifting farther from him in his seat and taking his hand off of Spencer's soft neck. It was so hard, to stop touching him, it seemed like when you try to split apart two magnets too strongly attracted to one another.

Spencer got out of the car, closing the door behind his back. He turned around and bent to look at Derek from outside.

"Wait!" he squealed, tapping his knuckles against the glass.

Derek, who had already started the car, pulled down the window to hear him better, looking at him confused. "Forgot something?"

"No! No, well- yes. I wanted to ask you one more thing." he paused, scrunching his nose. "What did you mean when you said that- that you can't take especially my pity-face?"

Derek bit his bottom lip. "Nothing too hard to understand." he said, with an enigmatic tone. Now, Spencer was the one looking confused.

"It's just way more painful to handle. Cause it's a much prettier face than the others'."

Spencer looked down, chuckling and nodding like he meant to say: 'oh, yeah, that. Of course.'

"See ya tomorrow, Pretty Boy." Derek said in the end, winking and rolling the window back up to finally leave.

Spencer was left there, standing and freezing cold, not knowing what to do with himself.

His phone buzzed into the pocket of his pants, giving him something else to concentrate on, something that wasn't that face, or that voice, or that smile, or that hand on his neck...something that wasn't related to Derek Morgan.

It was a text. From... Emily:

"So how'd the 'thing' go?" Duh. Of course it had to be the umpteenth thing related to Derek Morgan.

He smiled at the screen of his phone. Once again: like a complete idiot.

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cyn-00 · 4 years

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Moreid one shot, 13 - "the person I come home to"

Season 12, episode 6 "Elliott's pond" (the one where it's officially announced that Hotch is not part of the BAU anymore because Mr. Scratch - aka Peter Lewis - is stalking him and Jack, so Emily’s gonna be the new head of the team)

Reminder that in my fics based off of episodes from s. 11 ep. 18 on, I stick with Morgan leaving the bau which is canon in the show, BUT ofc Morgan and Reid are a couple and they live together at Reid's place because why not :)

I MANAGED TO PUT THE “keep reading” THINGIE! Albeit 6 months after I first started writing fics... better late than never, right?

Read it on AO3

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Morgan opened the door of Reid's - and his - place. It was around 10 pm, so he wasn't 100% sure that Spencer would be home yet. But the small light on the dresser of the living room was on.

"Kid?" he called him, not seeing him around, while dropping his heavy bag on the floor.

"Here." he heard his gentle voice, coming from the kitchen.

He entered the small kitchen, only lit by the soft, warm light coming from the living room, and the street lights outside. Spencer was sitting at the table, looking out of the window like he was lost in his own head - it happened quite often. It wasn't always a bad symptom, though.

He was holding an almost full bottle of beer in his hand, placed on the table, his shirt was slightly unbuttoned: Derek guessed he'd come home not long before him.

Spencer wasn't a huge alcohol fan: beer was his only "comfort drink" when his mind was running too fast and he needed to slow it down a little bit. So that was the clue that made Derek understand something was kinda...off.

"Hey" he greeted Reid gently, approaching him and sitting on the chair right beside him.

Even though he could - barely - see only his face and the sparkle of the lampposts outside reflected on the glass bottle, he didn't turn the light on: it bothered Spencer's eyes when he was tired.

He didn't greet him back, neither move.

"Everything alright?" Morgan asked.

Spencer sighed and finally shifted his eyes to look at the bottle in his hand, his thumb toying with the corner of the half-unglued label.

"I don't know. Lot of stuff happened." he answered vaguely and with the least number of words possible - which was quite the unusual event.

Derek reached his hand forward to tuck behind Spencer's ear a lock of hair that was covering his eye, in order to see his face better.

"I'm listening." he simply said.

Silence.

Spencer rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, closing his eyes like he had to funnel all of his concentration into choosing the right words.

"Hotch left."

Derek's heart sank deep into his chest. It was hard for Spencer to let go of the ones close to him - the team had had evidence of this many times over the years. In fact, to be fair, he was surprised that his only reaction to something like that was to casually grab a beer and sit in the dark. And Derek didn't feel quite sure that it was a good sign.

All of a sudden, he put 2 and 2 together.

"Let me guess..." Derek paused. "Peter Lewis?"

Spencer nodded, finally meeting his eyes for the first time since he came home.

"He's been stalking him and Jack for some time. So he decided it was best to go on Witness Protection." he explained further.

Derek nodded, remaining silent for a while to let Spencer feel free to get off his chest whatever he needed to, without interrupting his train of thought.

But Spencer never continued.

"...so...Rossi's the head of the team now?" he asked in the end, genuinely curious but at the same time almost certain he was right.

"No" Spencer shook his head, slightly smiling. "Emily is."

Derek's brows shot up in surprise. Knowing Emily, he wouldn't have expected her to take on such an important role - not that she didn't have the skills to do it, on the contrary, everyone thought very highly of her. Yes, she'd known the team for a long time and both Reid and JJ trusted her profoundly; but there was no denying that, in the past, everyone had seen her being kinda on and off the team, hesitant to stay in one place for long periods of time.

Morgan didn't blame her for it - not anymore: she was "wired" like that. It took him some time, but most of all it took getting over some grudges he used to hold on her, to understand this particular feature of her personality and be at peace with it. It was nothing personal.

Derek's faint smile faded away when he saw Spencer shifting his eyes to look outside again, taking a sip from his beer.

"Is- isn't it a good thing?" he asked apprehensively. There HAD to be something else: he was sure that Spencer was over the moon at the idea of Emily being head of their team. That couldn't be the problem.

Seeing that he wasn't about to answer any time soon, Derek inched closer to lean his elbows on his knees and placed his broad, warm hand on Spencer's leg, stroking his inner thigh with a thumb.

"Spencer. Look at me, please." he pleaded, his voice deep but gentle. He HATED seeing him like that. It made him go crazy.

Spencer finally looked straight into his eyes, like his touch had awakened him, and now he could hear him clearly.

"Tell me what's on your mind, kid." Derek subtly commanded, almost whispering at that point.

Spencer swallowed nervously, clenching his jaw.

"This job...it's continuously taking people away. And each time, it feels like...like it's taking away pieces of- of me... you know?" he paused, letting out a trembly sigh. "Elle, Gideon, Hotch, even Emily in some way... you"

Derek felt a lump in his throat. He didn't know what to answer. He couldn't guarantee that the job wouldn't take people away again - on the opposite, he could guarantee that it would. And he knew that Spencer knew it. There was nothing he could say that would make either of them less convinced of it.

He drew his chair as close as possible to Spencer's and took his hand, entwining his fingers with his. After a long, thoughtful silence, he spoke up.

"I can't promise you that the people around you won't keep coming and going. You know what happened with Elle, and I can't speak for Gideon, but I...I think I can safely say that Hotch wouldn't have left if it wasn't a matter of life or death...honestly after what happened with Haley I'm still surprised he didn't leave before. C'mon, he couldn't risk his son too." he gazed attentively at him. "But I think you know all this already."

Derek paused, leaning forward till their noses were 6 inches apart.

"As for me, I-" he sighed and shook his head: neither of them had the strength to fight about why Morgan had to leave anymore. "you know how things went for me but, kid..." Derek raised Spencer's chin with his index to make sure he was looking at him before going on to say what he wanted to say. "you are my family. And before you say what I know you wanna say: yes, there's my mom and my sisters but- I don't want you to think about it as blood. You are the person I come home to, and if you're not already here, I wait for you. I'm not going anywhere."

When Derek didn't receive an immediate answer, he thought he'd said something wrong, as though he had made him uncomfortable because maybe he didn't feel the same way. And, if that were the case, he couldn't blame him after all: it was STILL hard for Spencer to trust him fully, let alone considering him like family.

He had come to terms with the fact that it wasn't a symptom that Spencer didn't love him. On the contrary: Derek had understood years before, when they were still friends, that the reason why he hesitated to tell him some things, was because he was afraid of losing him - which was absolute nonsense, anyway.

He saw Spencer finally shifting in his seat, breaking those few seconds of complete stillness during which he didn't even blink.

He leaned closer to the edge of the chair and cupped Derek's face in his hands, sending shivers down his spine because one palm was freezing from holding the cold bottle of beer, while the other was now warm from keeping it squeezed into Derek's until just a second before.

Spencer pushed his lips softly against his, laying a single, slow kiss, realizing how much Derek had craved for it by how he immediately placed his hand on the back of his neck to draw him deeper. He didn't even know why Spencer had decided to bless him like that, out of the blue, but sure as hell he wasn't complaining.

Derek gasped into the kiss as soon as Spencer's wet and silky tongue slided into his dry mouth, spreading a faint but piercing taste of beer that made his cheeks slightly ache, akin to when you first bite into a too sour orange.

He gradually slowed down when he noticed that Spencer was struggling not to smile against his lips, and he was kissing nothing but his teeth.

"What?" Derek asked, laying one last peck at the corner of his boyfriend's mouth before pulling further to look at him; unable to avoid smiling back even though he didn't even know yet what the man was giggling about. He was so fucking pretty, Derek thought. As simple as that. Pretty.

Spencer rested his hand on Derek's bicep, stroking his smooth skin with his thumb from underneath the hem of his t-shirt. Derek secretly bit his bottom lip: he was more ticklish than one would think, in general, but God did he wish he had an answer for WHY Spencer's soft touch always did him dirty like that.

"I was- uhm..." he cleared his voice while simultaneously furrowing his eyebrows - as per usual. "My intent was to tell you the exact same thing as soon as you came home. It's- it's like you read my mind - even though, you know, I don't believe in these kind of things..." Spencer replied, stuttering in a timid way.

Derek felt his heart burst out of his chest. They'd been together for years, but hearing Spencer say things like that, made him feel like when he was a teenager acting awkward - and pathetically confident - with "chicks" every time. Crazy, he thought: it never happened with the other people he dated before, men or women.

"...yeah?" he asked, incredulous.

Spencer nodded before elaborating.

"You know, it was Rossi, he said something about our team, but actually it got me thinking about this...about us." he paused, swallowing. "he said: it's what happens when we're not on a case that has defined who we are. We stand beside one another, through good, through bad...because we're family" Spencer quoted David word for word - he didn't know any better - staring deep into Derek's eyes.

"It got me thinking that it doesn't matter if you're not on the team anymore, after all. It never mattered that much, to be honest- with you it's always been like, something more than just protecting each other from getting shot or...or kidnapped, I- I don't know how to explain it..." Spencer continued, getting stuck with his words so much that Derek had to try and hide his smile at how amusingly adorable he was.

"Well, for being a genius you gotta admit that it took you a hell of a long time to realize that we're 'something more', am I right?" Derek replied mockingly, air-quoting those two words. He always liked playing dumb, because Spencer's cute-annoyed reaction was priceless; however 9 times out of 10 he actually understood exactly what the other meant. It was just that he had this way of trying to give scientific-like explanations to things that maybe simply happen without us wanting to, or knowing how - namely: falling in love. "But love IS a 'scientific thing', Derek"; Morgan lost count of how many times he had replied to such comments with an eye-roll.

Spencer chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, I know, but- you know, it just came to my mind that, if I think about it, it wasn't exclusively on the job that I...fell in love with you." he got more serious while saying that last bit.

Derek blushed a little - even though it was impossible for Spencer to see because of his dark complexion. Plus, SSA Derek Morgan NEVER blushed, so the thought didn't even cross Spencer's mind.

"So, let me get this straight," Derek started his teasing, looking at him with arched eyebrows and a mischievous grin "I spent years kicking down doors to impress you with muscles and stuff, and now you tell me giving you rides home or taking you to crappy diners after hard cases was what got you all adorable and flustered all along? That what you're telling me??" he asked mockingly. He loved to put him in difficult situations and see the tips of his ears flush.

Spencer shook his head and chuckled. "Ok, ok, fine, MAYBE both."

Derek leaned back in his chair and stared outside, completely lost in a specific thought that popped into his head, as he mentally replayed those words.

"But the job made us meet." he said righteously, after a long-ish silence.

He slightly tilted his head and shifted his eyes to glimpse at Spencer's beer - that he had clearly forgotten about - as the cold condense coating the glass bottle melted down, dripping on the table in a small puddle.

"I can't think that we wouldn't even ever have met if it wasn't for this job." he added shaking his head in disbelief, lowering his voice like he was speaking to himself more than to Spencer.

The other raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"We wouldn't?" he asked ingenuously. Like he didn't know that two completely opposite people like them would've never met, in normal conditions. Not in a lifetime. Not even in a million years.

Derek laughed good-heartedly at him, face-palming. "We would? Where? At a chess tournament? Or maybe at a baseball game??" he said smirking.

Spencer tried to hide his smile, lightly kicking Derek's calf with his ankle and pretending to be offended.

"Don't make me smack you in front of all these people" Derek jokingly quoted himself with his finger pointed at him, trusting that Spencer would recall that "threat" from years and years before. Surprisingly, Derek remembered A LOT of those comments he was so used to tease him with when they were not together yet, because it was funny to him how he fooled around trying to hint that he was into Spencer, while the genius was COMPLETELY oblivious - he wasn't even pretending not to see it. He just, didn't see it.

Spencer looked at him with his mouth hanging open, impressed. "How-"

"You're not the only one who remembers stuff, you know?" Derek interrupted him immediately before he could ask him how he remembered it. He leaned forward and took Spencer's jaw in one hand to place a quick kiss on his lips, before standing up from the chair.

Derek checked his watch. "I'm starving. I'm gonna order some pizza." he stated, heading to the living room to get his phone that he had absent-mindedly left over the dresser.

He froze in spot right on the doorway and turned around, with a frown on his face.

"Wait, have you eaten?"

Spencer shook his head and bit the inside of his cheek, well aware that Derek was kind of a pain in the ass with that. It kinda bothered him, how at times he obsessively made sure he'd eaten - only when he was in an "off" period; though he couldn't say he was wrong: during those kind of periods, Spencer really forgot to eat, or simply couldn't bring himself to. Which was worrisome.

In the attempt to stop thinking about all that matter, he took another sip from his beer, not nearly as ice-cold as he had planned on drinking it, at that point.

Derek sighed heavily as he turned on his heels again, disappearing into the other room. A few seconds later he replied, raising his voice enough so that Spencer could hear him from the kitchen.

"If only your mom knew that I starve her boy. She wouldn't have no problem smacking me in front of a bunch of people, now would she?"

Spencer choked on a laugh, risking to spit out his beer.

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