#close with bc my friend keeps talkign about it

[maggot-baggage]

Hm idk if im being a bitch about the thing im mad about but i can thelp it

#i hate the way gossip circulates with the people im friends with and i especially hate how my business is just out there to those im not #close with bc my friend keeps talkign about it #i didnt wanna come into work thinking about my car being fucked up but my manager immediately asked about it #bc no one can keep their damn mouth shut #like jfc yall dont care about whats happenin with me until its comin from someone else like damn!!! #mag.txt

[2oranges]

,

#sorry. venting here bc i dont want to bother my friends #my parents keep bringing up things that mke me anxious and keep asking me why im doing nothing with my life when i 'have so much free time' #as if i wasnt sick 3 days last week and physically in pain 2 days this week #and i just had a complete shutdown like went nonverbal for the first time in months #and my brother keeps talkign shit about me and my mom keeps agreeing with him as my dad talks to me #i keep getting super close to just killing myself and its getting so hard as of late #nobody has even felt proud of me let alone tell me theyre proud of me for well over half a year #my sister keeps growing jnsanely distant from me and i just dont feel like its worth it anymore #im sorry. im just so exhausted of trying to pretend im fine and dandy when ive felt like shit the past few months

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“we are so (thot) married”

i was bored so i decided to write a parody of the first chapter of my good comrade @theseerofdoomisunaltered‘s magnum opus “we are so (not) married”, if i have time maybe ill do the rest but no promises bc im a lazy inconsistent bitch lmao 

*****************************************************************************************************

hizashi was fuckin PISSEd!

he was angery and is upset bc shouta THAt dumB THOT had gone and goetten himself injured AGEIN!!!! he hadnt sleeped in 69 hours (hehe) bc he was 2 busy gettin turnt with tha bois (painkillers and mowten dew) and had goten into a fite with some villens (fourth graders) bc they sed cats were lame.

showta got carried by on a stretcher and hibachi pissed himself and not even in the kinyk way. paremdedics kept hziashi from geting close to the stretcher or the room shota is carreid into. “shit boi u fam?” a nurse asked.

“no’ mic sobbed loudly. “we;r emore like,, friends wtih benefits? as in, i beneFIT this dick up his ass ayy lmao” he lamaoed thru his tears.

the nurse kept askieng quetions but hizashy was sobbing too loudely to hear so he just said yes bc why not its good enouff 4 improv rite? the nurses let haizashi pass so he RAN into shotuas room, screming so loudly he killed like four people and a dog.

shoauta looked like he’d gotten fucked by knife dicks in all six holes at once. one of his legs was being held together with silly string and glue (aizawa was sniffing the bottel) and he was covered in blood and helo kitty bandaids. to put it simply he looked fine as fuck and mic was super fuckign horny for him but his teeers killed his boner

“mike u ignoernt slut ur so fcukin loud” aizawa moaned, taking a big hit from the glue bottle.

hizashey wanted to screm but he didnt want to get sued for murdeer again like last time so he kept his mouth shut by tenderly taking the glue bottle from aizawa and shovig it up his own ass.

“wat, arent u gonna offer me some simpathy sex?” aizawa asked raiesing an eyberow.

“maybe later” hixzashy wept sobbily. “right now im too full of emotion and ass glue to present my mic up ur bootyhole.

aizawa tenderly patted mic on the cheek with his scotch-taped cock (cock tape) and then licked the tears off his nuts. “its all good in the hood”

“All is N OT good in the hood you jelly filled fucknut!” mic screamed tearfully and angrily. “what if u are is DIED??? then the two of us could never cha-cha real smooth again!??? HOW COD U DO THIS TO MEH>???? IF U DIED,,,,,,” hizsahy cried and nutted at the same time “i’d die 2 bc my gay ass cant fuckien drive but its too far to walk 2 school so id try yo drive anyway and id crash the car and die and it would be ALL UR FOLT!!!!”

aizawa just rolled over in the hosptial bed and ripped his hospital gown open,e xposing his lush bird nest of chest hair and supple pink nips screaming out for slurpage. “ur so dramatic” he whsiepred seductively. “why dont u quit the shakespeare and start suckspeareing me off?”

hizashy wiped away his tears and got to succking. the nurse walked in as hizashi was giving aizawa some eraserHEAD if u know wat i mean. she crumbeled some paperwork into balls and threw them at mic and them stormed off.

“FILL THOSE OUT YA GODDAMN TWINK”

mic fillde out the paperwork with aizawas pen(is) and tehn tenderly cradeld aizawa in his arms (carefully cupping his nuts for protecktion of course) and got on the roomba he used insted of a car bc his gay ass never learned how 2 fuckin driev. “vrroom vroom bitch” he said as they sped away at a blistering pace of .005 mph from the hospital. “the ass-magnet 9000 is in motion fuckers!”

‘take me 2 taco bell” aizawa whined. “i hav some casual craigstlist sex solicitors to meet for dinner tonite”

“NO CASUAL CRAGESLIST SEX UNTIL U RECOVER FROM UR INJURIES!” hizashi screamed. “IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF U, U BIG SALTY BABY” hizashy was super mcfuckin gay for aizwa so watching him get fucked the hell up and then just want to immedetly get back on the plow horse (so to speak) and jump into th e casual craigslist sex wasnt fun.

hziashi did a sick ollie off his roomba and knocked the door down with his throbbing erection only to promptyl start sobbing when he got a dick splinter.

“u dum fuck thats wy u shoud go thru the door like a normal person” aizawa grumbled as he sucked out the dick splinter. “for fucking out loud even that 5 dollar thottie ALL MIGHT, SYMBOL OF PEACE TM goes thru doors like a normal person.” shouta thought for amoment. “well except for the one time at that christmas party in april,,”

“well YEAH but if i didnt kick down the door dick first wat kind of pro hero wold i be?” hizashi protested

“one wihtoout dick splinters”

“ya ok tru”

hizashy threw aizawa over his shoulder like a thicc sack of poatatos and caried him 2 his lightning mcqueen racecar bed where they made the sekcs for 35 seconds before aizawa fell asleep. mic, exhausted from the hwole dick splinter fiasco, fell aslep too, resting his head on shoutas soft pillowy ass.

he woke up the next morning when nemuri broke down his door and started kicking his ass “HIZASSHI YOU STUPID BITCH HO W D ARE U GET MARRIED WITHOUT ME????”

tensei, who had been wheeled in in a weelbarrow, slapped mic in the face with one of those rubber stretchy extendy hands that he carried around for that express purpose. “YEAH YOU WHORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BRIDESMAID DAMMIT I ALREADY HAD MY OUTFIT ALL PICKED OUT I WAS GONNA WEAR THIS DANK ASS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG COSPLAY AND U FUCKERS R O B B ED ME OF MY HAPPINESS”

“wat in the fresh hell are u talkign about?” hizash asked confusedly.

tensei whipped out his rose gold iphone 69 and hsowed hiszashi a news report that said “THEY GAY BITCH” followed by a picture of mic and aizawa doin the scooby dooby doo on the hospital bed.

“Everyones shook af  by the news that screme mcmeme, also known as president michael, and iceicezawa are married!” the report said. there was a picture of one of the paramedics mic had accidently murdered with his screaming. before dying she had apparently tweeted to the news and told them that mic had said YEAH when she asked if he was married to the patient shoota and so now everyone in the world new they were gay and thogth they were married!!!

some ppl like tensei and nemuri were happy (about the marriege anyway, in general tensei wasnt happy bc his twitter had got hacked and the entire internet could see his turbo-nudes and his ingeniDONG) but there were some bitch ass hos that were not plesed with this developement.

for example endevor had posted in the yuotube comments of a video entirely unrelated to the marraige thing “these daM hOME OF SEXAULS keep ruinging eeverything with their GAY AJENDA!!!! my son looked at a Gay once and hes fuckin gay now, thx oBamA!!111! THIS IS THE FUTERE LIBERALS WANT!11! present mic?? more like present CUCK!!1!”

hizashi dropped the phone. how was he gonna explain this to the internet? how was he gonna explain this to shouta?!?????

tune in next week for more fuckery, i can probably get this done in three chapters lol, if not three then DEFINITELY six, it sure would be wild if it ended up being nine chapters huh lamao

#bnha #erasermic #tag yourself im present cuck

[eorumverba]

side note u should totes write a jongtae based off one being anon or something (noooo pressure just a random thought i had)

this prompt is 10 months old?? yikes. n @orgel-ontae ♡♡♡

And there’s something about it, something that makes Jonghyun feel soft and almost flustered even though they haven’t even really said anything.

It’s been a lazy day and an even lazier night, Jonghyun stretched out in bed, half under the covers with their phone in their hands and their stuffed animals close to their face. They’re warm and soft and sleepy in the way they always get when they lay down after they eat, but it’s that awkward time of night where it’s too early to go to bed but too late to take a nap. They’re sort of mindlessly just scrolling through tumblr, just to keep their eyes from slipping shut even though every few minutes, they’ll close and they’ll start to drift off.

But then his phone buzzes in his hand, startling him awake and forcing his eyes open to read the question he’s just gotten. It’s a short one, but it’s one that makes his heart melt and a soft smile spread across his lips. He almost doesn’t want to answer, wants to keep it like this, his, forever, but he wants a new friend more, and the person that’d asked it seems so cute.

Anonymous said: hello… i like, rlly, rlly wanna be friends w you guys, but i’m so shy and awk with new ppl so i’ll just say……. ily both, you’re the cutest!

It’s to their shared blog with Jinki, and Jinki’s been asleep for hours, so Jonghyun sits up and reaches out to grab their laptop from the end of their bed before flopping back down to stay laying down while they use it. It takes only a moment to log onto tumblr and to find the ask, but longer to figure out what to say to answer it.

kjh: ♡♡♡ pls dont be shy ;;;; we’re both really nice,,jinkis really shy too but i really really like meeting people so pls feel free to message either one of us if u ever want to !!

Even after fifteen minutes, the anon doesn’t come back in their inbox like Jonghyun had been hoping, so they close their laptop and put it back at the end of their bed so they can curl up with their phone again, but it isn’t long before their phone is blinking again with a message from someone on tumblr.

chaitaem: (hi, i said i wanted to b friends on ur other blog and i just thought maybe i could come say hi..?)

And there’s something about it, something that makes Jonghyun feel soft and almost flustered even though they haven’t even really said anything.

petitjonghyunnie: !! hihi would lov eto be friends mhm ♡♡♡

chaitaem: !! that’s so awesome ur so cute n i’m so annoying u’ll prolly get bored of me but !! great 💓💓

And at this point, Jonghyun is kind of glad that Jinki’s not here, because he’d tease them so much about how they’re blushing, how soft they are, how cute, how sweet. And it’s true that they’re soft, but they haven’t even…god.

petitjonghyunnie: i fgdhkj m nOt cute omg n ur not annoying !! promise im ghjfkfgd rlly flustered so i dunno what o say otl ;;;

As they wait for a response, Jonghyun clicks onto their tumblr, skimming their bio and giggling a little. Taemin, they/fae, dancing is like walking to me. It’s simple, sweet, cute. Fae seem adorable, and Jonghyun likes fae already.

chaitaem: ah, me either,, i just wanted to say hello ur v cute i want to friend u,, i didn’t think past that otl

petitjonghyunnie: ! fkjdhg shsu h

chaitaem: ahh, but why would i shush when ur so cute tho??

petitjonghyunnie: shs u sh omg

chaitaem: mmh, but ur bein even cuter?? adorable, one might say

And here come the first twinges in their stomach, the simple praising words already making them edge on fluster. It’s Jinki’s fault, honestly, Jinki’s fault for conditioning them to react so easily to words like cute and adorable and baby and of course, baby boy. God. And it’s not like Taemin knows about how easy they are, but maybe fae do? Because fae do follow their and Jinki’s blog, and that one is…pretty revealing.

Jonghyun shifts under the covers, pressing their face into Roo’s soft fur before peeping back out at their phone to answer Taemin.

petitjonghyunnie: s h u s h thats n ot fair !!

chaitaem: totally fair! if ur bein adorable aren’t i allowed to tell u? ur absolutely adorable!!

petitjonghyunnie: not fair n Not adorable n im pouting at u

chaitaem: pouting? oh no but now ur the Most adorable…

petitjonghyunnie: s h u s h

chaitaem: mmmmh but ur so cute it’d be a shame not to tell u how much of a cute babe u are.

petitjonghyunnie: ;;;;;;; shh

chaitaem: cutie~

petitjonghyunnie: n o

chaitaem: yes! ur such a cutie~

petitjonghyunnie: Pouting At You

chaitaem: u can pout all u like, ur still Adorable

petitjonghyunnie: shhssuhshh

chaitaem: i thought u were bein extra cute and pouting? i won’t shh if ur bein like that

petitjonghyunnie: n ot cute

chaitaem: mh but u must be at least a lil cute if i’m tellin u so

petitjonghyunnie: s t op my heart is rlly weak

chaitaem: if u stopped bein such a babe i’d stop tellin u~

petitjonghyunnie: m not talkign to u bc ur v vv v vmean mhm

chaitaem: i’m bein mean? well then maybe i won’t talk to u bc ur v vvvv v v cute, hmm??

petitjonghyunnie: p o u t i n g

And they are. They’re pouting, and their heart is fluttering, and it hasn’t even been a day yet but Jonghyun’s realized both that they have a crush on Taemin and that they really, really want to be soft for fae.

chaitaem: bein cute so i’m not talking

petitjonghyunnie: mean !!! mad at you

chaitaem: mad at me? but i don’t want cutie to be mad.. just sayin ur rlly a cutie~

petitjonghyunnie: ;; my heart though s very weak

chaitaem: is it all the cuteness that makes it weak then?

petitjonghyunnie: ;;;;;;;;;;;; youre flustering

chaitaem: ur easy to fluster~

petitjonghyunnie: mean for teasing

chaitaem: mm,, not teasin just tellin u ur a babe a rlly cute babe

petitjonghyunnie: s h h that Is teainsg

chaitaem: hmm, guess i am teasin then but ur cute to tease tho

petitjonghyunnie: ;; like being teased

chaitaem: ahh i can tell that’s why ur being such a cute baby..

petitjonghyunnie: ;; i wanna say

chaitaem: hmm?

petitjonghyunnie: wanna say !!

chaitaem: yeah ??

petitjonghyunnie: ;; flustering

chaitaem: ur so cute sound like ur blushing, sweetie, it’s so cute

petitjonghyunnie: m pouting not blushing

chaitaem: ur not mad at me still? when ur bein so cute to me too

petitjonghyunnie: m mad at you cuz i wanna say

chaitaem: u can tell me sweet honey, just say

petitjonghyunnie: ;;; shh Flustering wanna say but its flustering

chaitaem: c'mon, wanna tell me, cutie?

petitjonghyunnie: ;;;; shhshhsh

chaitaem: but u won’t say so if i shush we’ll just be quiet

petitjonghyunnie: ;; i wanna call you daddy

chaitaem: all right, baby, you can call me daddy

petitjonghyunnie: ;;;; s flustering

chaitaem: no, it’s cute~ ur cute

petitjonghyunnie: not cute;;;; flustered

chaitaem: flustered is cute on u tho

petitjonghyunnie: ;; do you have a kakao?

chaitaem: yeah i do, you want it?

petitjonghyunnie: mhm

chaitaem: it’s just chaitae

petitjonghyunnie: ;;; thank u daddy

#shinee #jongtae #rae ur cute poem made me wanna do smth cute for u #n u like 9 days so tht made me :') #requests #after this is the one where jong is ;-; bc they wanna date taem but cant ask n theyre just rlly in lov n giddy n giggly #n taem Wont Stop Calling Them Baby n it makes them Very Giggly n Very Flustered #but idk if ill actualyl do tht one but uh Know tht tht happensf djkh #they date after (2) days of konwing each other so thts good sfdjkh #jinki Does indeed tease jong a lot #jong is v in lov with taem even tho its been such a short amount of time #they jus want fae to be happy #anonymous #my writing