#chuck e cheese training tape | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

possiblyawesometmblr · 4 years

Text

Unus Annus: A Complete Ranked List

well, now that every single video has been released, i’ve compiled them all into a complete ranked list, from best video to worst! this took way longer than it had any right to. (also, please note this is just my opinion, and in all honesty, this list was really hard because so many of these videos are fantastic. you could tell me that you’d rearrange anything in the 50-250 range and i’d probably agree with you.)

And if you don’t feel like going through the whole list, here’s Unus Annus ranked by month!

If the video is in: Top 50: 5 points 51 - 100: 4 points 101 - 150: 3 points 151 - 200: 2 points 201 - 250: 1 point 251 - 300: 0 points 300 or below: -1 point (Any ties settled by which month had the highest ranking video overall.)

November: 93 October: 72 December:70 September: 66 February: 66 August: 63 June: 60 January: 59 July: 53 May: 43 March: 37 April: 1

The Truth of Unus Annus (Oct. 31st)

Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN (Jan. 10th)

Phasmophobia in Real Life (Oct. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room (Dec. 6th)

Hunting HeeHoo (Aug. 29th)

DIY Geriatric Simulator (Jan. 18th)

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video (Nov. 4th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked On Phonics (Jun 6th)

Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral (Dec. 9th)

Cooking with Sex Toys (Nov. 15th)

Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom (Dec. 13th)

Helium Therapy (Nov. 29th)

2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition (Nov. 26th)

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls (Nov. 22nd)

Being Brutally Honest With Each Other (Nov. 3rd)

Would Chica Save Us From Drowning? (Jul. 24th)

Mark and Ethan are Now Fathers (Mar. 22)

Ethan Kidnapped Mark (Oct. 30th)

Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room (Aug. 28th)

The Unus Annus Last Supper (Nov. 2nd)

Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping (Jan. 11th)

The Sensory Overload Tank (Jan. 7th)

Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost (Nov. 25th)

Mark Knows What Ethan Did… (Sep. 22nd)

Pee Sauna (Jun 17th)

We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other (Dec. 14th)

All of Our Video Ideas that Never Happened (Nov. 5th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band (Sep. 4th)

Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers (Jan. 2nd)

Our Perfect (and last) Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th)

The Barrel - Official Music Video (Mar. 9th)

Edward Pumpkin Hands (Oct. 26th)

This Video Is Completely Unedited (Oct. 17th)

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim (Jun. 28th)

The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover (Nov. 12th)

Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead (Nov. 10th)

Harnessing Our Dogs’ Unlimited Energy (Dec. 23rd)

2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test (Dec. 31st)

Learning to Breathe Underwater (Jan. 13th)

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness (Aug. 17th)

The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest (Oct. 28th)

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests (Nov. 9th)

We Got Pepper Sprayed (Mar. 10th)

The Cryptid Olympics (Oct. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight (Mar. 8th)

Mark Punishes Ethan (Jan. 27th)

Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible (Sep. 29th)

Drunk College Party Simulator (Feb. 15th)

God’s Fitness Test (Nov. 8th)

3 Big Boys Attempt the King’s Royal Fitness Test (Feb. 18th)

The Beginning of the End (Jul. 26th)

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime (May 22nd)

Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There’s a Bear 15 Feet Away (Aug. 22nd)

We Forced James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course (Mar. 23rd)

We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator (Mar. 20th)

The Bad Kind of Cupping (Nov. 20th)

Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat (Dec. 7th)

Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video) (Dec. 29th)

A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night (Aug. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes (Jul 7th)

Building the World’s First IKEA Boat (Jun 27th)

Goat Yoga (Feb. 22nd)

10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn’t Know How To Spend Money Responsibly (Feb. 16th)

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On (Feb 29th)

Fixing Mark’s Hole with Ramen But Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God (Jan. 14th)

Being Attacked By a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog (Feb. 19th)

Preserving Ourselves in Wax (Dec. 26th)

Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog) (Dec. 24th)

The Unus Annus Space Program (Jul 11th)

Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement (Dec. 17th)

Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of Two Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond (Jul. 4th)

DIY Bungee Jump (please don’t try this) (Jan. 4th)

Unregulated Axe Throwing (Feb. 7th)

Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger (Sep. 15th)

How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree (Aug. 23rd)

Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna Into a Portable Hell (Mar. 16th)

The End of Unus Annus Is Almost Here… (May 15th)

We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away (Sep. 13th)

We Play The Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other (May 23rd)

Building IKEA’s Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 18th)

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength (Jul. 30th)

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 8th)

The Candy Bra Challenge (Jul 6th)

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay (Oct. 13th)

Only UNUS-es/ANNUS-es May Watch This Video (May 28th)

Only Watch From 2:25-6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO (May 29th)

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR) (Oct. 22nd)

Recreating The Miracle of Childbirth (Mar. 21st)

Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank (Nov. 18th)

Turning Mark into an E-Boy (Feb. 2nd)

The First Annual Unus Annus Roast (Nov. 7th)

Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes (Jun 5th)

The Ultimate Trolley Problem (Feb. 21st)

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes (Apr. 30th)

Exploring the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes (May 16th)

BLACK LIVES MATTER: Resources and How You Can Help In The Description (Jun 2nd)

The Chubby Gummy Challenge (Dec. 4th)

Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest? (Mar. 5th)

Taped and Afraid (Dec. 20th)

We Played Strip Poker (May 20th)

Consuming the World’s Hottest Chip (Sep. 30th)

Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body (Jan. 26th)

1 Man 100 Accents (Dec. 1st)

Mark Steals Ethan’s Face (Jan. 15th)

Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death (Feb. 17th)

We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition (Aug. 3rd)

Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming (Oct. 11th)

The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown (Jun 20th)

We Pierced Each Other’s Ears (Sep. 11th)

Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs (Jun 3rd)

7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell (Nov. 11th)

Two Men in a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies (Jun 26th)

Having an Adventure in VRChat Because We Can’t Go Outside (Mar. 27th)

Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our YouTube Famous Dogs (Jul. 16th)

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica (Aug. 8th)

The Wubble (Aug. 7th)

How to Start a Fire (except don’t…) (Aug. 27th)

Unus Annus (Nov. 15th)

This Is Goodbye (Aug. 5th)

Puberty Simulator (Aug. 13th)

This Video Went Completely Out of Control (Oct. 1st)

This Video Will Never Make Sense (Sep. 23rd)

Blowing Our Souls into Some Hot Glass (Feb. 28th)

We Attempted to Create THICC Water (May 10th)

Brick Soccer (Sep. 19th)

Accepting the Truth (Nov. 1st)

Drinking Real THICC Water...How Bad Does It Taste? (May 19th)

How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock? (Sep. 10th)

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin (Jan. 8th)

Recreating Childhood Photos (Jun 13th)

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game (Feb. 10th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet (Aug. 1st)

How to Safely Bury Your Friend (Aug. 25th)

Mark Breaks His Nose on an Aerial Hoop (Oct. 4th)

DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS (Jul. 20th)

Pee Soda (Sep. 17th)

We Had to Drink Each Other’s Pee (Dec. 16th)

Creating Mark FISHbach (Jun 21st)

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise (May 11th)

We Made Fanart for Each Other (Jun 11th)

Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot for an Elegant Beast (Jun 25th)

Pressure Washing Our Sins Away (Oct. 21st)

Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack (Oct. 8th)

We Ate Dog Treats so You Don’t Have To (Sept. 12th)

Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button (Dec. 18th)

2 Idiots Get Crushed By 18-Ft Giant Snakes (Mar. 15th)

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves (Jan. 20th)

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080 (May 27th)

Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea (Oct. 23rd)

DIY Teeth (Jul. 17th)

We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water (Sep. 24th)

We Attempt to Make Holy Water (Sep. 20th)

DIY Cheese (Jan. 29th)

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature (Feb. 9th)

Literally Eating Fire (Feb. 6th)

2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa (Jan. 17th)

Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More! (Aug. 26th)

The Great Ice Cream Cake Race (Sep. 27th)

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth (May 26th)

Blood Bath (Oct. 27th)

2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap (Jun. 30th)

Who Can Make Themselves Taller? (Jan. 6th)

Mark and Ethan Share a Drink (Aug. 6th)

2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test (Sep. 6th)

Bobbing for Literally Anything But Apples (Oct. 16th)

Momiplier Teaches Self Defense (Aug. 15th)

The Human Mop (Jul. 21st)

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help (Sep. 8th)

Becoming One With the Horse (Jun 19th)

Wikifeet: A Tale of Two Tootsies (Apr. 4th)

We Found Websites That the World Forgot About (Apr. 11th)

1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us (Aug. 20th)

We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine (Sep. 5th)

We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could (Jul. 25th)

We Turned Our Bodies Into Art (Jan. 25th)

You Blink, You Lose (Dec. 30th)

Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (Jul. 13th)

Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond (Dec. 3rd)

Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf (Oct. 29th)

Making Soda with Literally Anything But Soda (Sep. 16th)

Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk (Jul. 15th)

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors (Sep. 7th)

How Many Slaps Does it Take to Cook a Chicken? (Sep. 2nd)

Play Doh Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th)

Hot Dog’d to Death (Nov. 17th)

Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow (Oct. 20th)

Transforming Mark into the Eighth Wonder of the World (Aug. 16th)

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing (Jul 8th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle (Sep. 28th)

Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics (Sep. 26th)

Who’s Cutting Onions in Here? (Nov. 6th)

How to Escape from a Hostage Situation (Jul. 18th)

Are We Already Dead? (Feb. 13th)

Bored? Press This Button (Apr. 27th)

Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas (Aug. 10th)

This is for FUN and NOT a Fetish (Oct. 10th)

This is What Being Tased Feels Like (Jan. 21st)

Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery (Feb. 20th)

Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Hands (May 31st)

Beating Inanimate Objects to Death (Dec. 27th)

Edible Slime was a Mistake. (Feb. 23rd)

We Eat Bugs (Jan. 3rd)

Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box (Sep. 21st)

Hydro Dipping a Baby (Aug. 11th)

The Egg Smashing Game (Jul. 12th)

BEYBLADE NUTBALL (Sep. 14th)

Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other But It’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha (Feb. 12th)

Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof. (Jul 1st)

Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don’t Watch) (Jun 22nd)

Mark Needs to Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him (Mar. 14th)

Learning to Use the Force (Sep. 18th)

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake (Apr. 25th)

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins (Apr. 6th)

Shooting Archery ON A HORSE (Oct. 6th)

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty (Feb. 3rd)

Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight (Jun 7th)

Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon (Aug. 2nd)

Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses (Jun 4th)

Becoming a Master of Mime (Feb. 11th)

This is the Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made (Jul. 23rd)

A Serious Conversation Under the Stars (Jul. 29th)

Is Mark a Masochist? (May 1st)

Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass (Feb. 8th)

Bad, Bad Beans (Jan. 23rd)

DIY Wine (May 30th)

2 Men 200 Accents (Apr. 18th)

DIY Boob (May 24th)

Mark and Ethan Go On a Drum Date (Feb. 27th)

10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw On Planet Earth (Jun. 29th)

Ultimate Horseshoes (Jul. 28th)

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat) (Mar. 13th)

Acupuncture is NOT Painful (Dec. 11th)

What the Hell is a Pink Trombone? (May 2nd)

Donating Toys to Charity w/ Jacksepticeye (Dec. 22nd)

Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise…) (Nov. 27th)

The Great Meat Mistake (Dec. 10th)

DIY Minesweeper (Oct. 7th)

Popping Popcorn with a High Powered Laser (Aug. 12th)

Bobbing for Apples but the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer (Oct. 3rd)

We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to It (Dec. 5th)

Long Hair, Do We Dare? (Feb. 25th)

Recreating Mark’s Childhood (Jul. 2nd)

Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond) (Feb. 4th)

An Extremely Sour, Not-at-All Sour Meal (Feb. 5th)

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot (Nov. 16th)

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 9th)

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest (Jul. 27th)

Our Fans Try to Scare Us With Their Homemade Creepypasta (Jun 12th)

There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture… (June 8th)

Too Many Pickles (Aug. 21st)

5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard (Jul. 31st)

What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube? (Apr. 10th)

Baby Hands Operation (Nov. 24th)

Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time (Apr. 2nd)

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us? (May 6th)

Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race (Apr. 15th)

We Will Churn Thy Butter (Sep. 25th)

We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins (Jan. 12th)

Drawing on Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness (Oct. 9th)

Drawing Memes from Memory (Nov. 30th)

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games (Apr. 5th)

Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown (Mar. 30th)

Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce? (Jul 10th)

How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend (Apr. 13th)

Help Us Break a YouTube World Record (Apr. 17th)

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea (Oct. 18th)

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Aug. 9th)

The Most Dangerous Shave (Jun 23rd)

We Took the Polar Plunge (Jan. 1st)

2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition (Jun 1st)

Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work? (Jul. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat (Oct. 5th)

Pumpkin Spice “Challenge” (Oct. 19th)

Doing Each Other’s Makeup in the Dark (Nov. 23rd)

We’re Better Than Dogs (Aug. 18th)

We Have the Best Bellies on YouTube (May 25th)

The Good Kind of Cupping (Nov. 19th)

Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe (Jan. 30th)

Where in the World is Unus Annus? (Apr. 1st)

Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens (Jun 10th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something (May 4th)

We Took an IQ Test (Jan. 9th)

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean (May 13th)

Lost Omegle Video (Mar. 31st)

Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet (Jun 15th)

Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse (Mar. 28th)

Desperately Trying Not to Touch Our Faces (Mar. 24th)

Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt (Mar. 26th)

Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories (Apr. 21st)

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet (Apr. 12th)

REAL Ghost Hunting At An Abandoned Zoo (March 2nd)

Bleachus Annus (Jul. 14th)

Pumpkin Taste Tier List (Oct. 14th)

Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank (Dec. 12th)

Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus? (Aug. 30th)

Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge (Apr. 9th)

We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded (Mar. 11th)

Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless (Apr. 3rd)

Learning to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds (Oct. 15th)

You Breathe You Die (Jan.16th)

Breaking Glasses With Our Screams (Aug. 4th)

The 1000 High-Five Challenge (Oct. 2nd)

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs (Mar. 4th)

Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner’s Butler for a Day (Aug. 14th)

Forcibly Turning Mark into Santa Claus Against His Will (Dec. 25th)

We Smell Every Smell (Sep. 1st)

We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes (Feb. 26th)

Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast (Mar. 18th)

The Painful World of Aerial Skills (Oct. 12th)

The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couples Trend (Aug. 19th)

Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul in the Palm of His Hand (Jun 24th)

Will We Break the Boards...Or Will They Break Us? (Jun 14th)

DIY Chiropractor (Mar. 7th)

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage (Aug. 31st)

We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us (Mar. 3rd)

Can Plants Feel Pain? (Sep. 9th)

This is Hiding on Your Body RIGHT NOW. (Jul 9th)

Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death (Jan. 28th)

Like It Or Not...This is What The New Human Looks Like (May 7th)

Looking at Long Lost Memes (Jan. 31st)

We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate (Apr. 7th)

Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate (Apr. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Try to Name a Single State in the USA (Apr. 8th)

Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020 (May 3rd)

Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition (Mar. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado (Apr. 14th)

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis (Apr. 20th)

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams (Jan. 24th)

2 Boys 2 Poops (Sep. 3rd)

This is How We’ll Die... (Jan. 19th)

Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition (Mar. 1st)

You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel...But Only One Could Win (Dec. 15th)

Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds? (Jul. 22nd)

Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death (Mar. 6th)

Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity from Benjamin Franklin (Jul 5th)

Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon (Dec. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test (Apr. 22nd)

An AI Generates Our Worst Nightmare (May 5th)

Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views (Jun 16th)

How Big Can a Nuke Get? (May 17th)

Granting Access Into Heaven’s Sweet Gates (Feb. 24th)

We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler (Jul. 3rd)

Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse? (Mar. 29th)

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend (May 14th)

What is the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured? (Dec. 21st)

Don’t Go In The Ocean....Ever. (Apr. 28th)

An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die (Dec. 2nd)

Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It (May 21st)

The Creepiest Videos on YouTube (Apr. 16th)

What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship? (Mar. 12th)

Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life (Feb. 1st)

What Happens When a YouTube Channel Dies? (Jan. 22nd)

5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death (Mar. 19th)

Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain...Which is Worse? (Dec. 28th)

How Tall Can a Human Get?: An Impartial Review By 2 Average Height Men (May 12th)

Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It? (Apr. 23rd)

Mark and Ethan Hunt the World’s Most Wanted Criminals (Mar. 17th)

The Illuminati...Do They Really Exist? (Apr. 19th)

We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of Our Wildly Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mystery (Apr. 29th)

Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty (Apr. 26th)

We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise (Jan. 5th)

How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 18th)

There’s Still Hope… (Dec. 8th)

Unus Annus ASMR (May 9th)

The Worst Kind of Cupping (Nov. 21st)

#unus annus #unus annus ranked #the og list took me three days to compile please appreciate this #markiplier #crankgameplays #unus #annus

33 notes · View notes

ballisterboldheart · 3 years

Note

Look not to make Robby’s B-Day about Miguel but I’m going too. I want to know when his birthday is and I want to celebrate it! Like I want a sweet small family dinner with Carmen, Yaya, and Johnny celebrating their best boy with a few heartfelt gifts.

hey i said we just couldn't be Mean 2 robby today but i'm not Actually going to talk about him so skjsjjsjsjs

Oh God youre right miguel getting a sweet little dinner with his family give me a Moment....johnny getting him some cds of 80s bands they both like (he was going to get cassette tapes but the guy at the music store just laughed at him) and miguel not having the heart to tell him No one under 30 listens to cds anymore (he eventually borrows a cd player yaya has that she never uses one of those big ones you know)

and then (au where kreese never shows up johnny keeps the dojo just shhh don't think abt it too hard) the next day at training the other ck students throw miguel a surprise party and there's a big cake with a VERY badly drawn cobra on it and johnny tells them to NOT get used to throwing each other parties during training this is a dojo not chuck e cheeses but Uh Oh! its a tradition now 😔

#s.ask #anon #cobra kai #johnny standing in the middle of his dojo #with his black gi & headband & a ridiculous little party hat: anyone takes pictures and im kicking you out #(someone DOES take a picture and it ends up on the ck website 😔)

11 notes · View notes

knight-of-trash · 5 years

Text

Very Specific Millenial Memories of Mine

Straight across bangs, overalls, and striped turtle necks.

The Land Before Time

Playing Mario Kart 64 with the family, and winning because you keep picking Yoshi.

Kindergarten naps on thin, red and blue mats.

Discovering Golden Eye 007 and being better than your brother to the point where he quits playing with you, because you camp, use the Golden gun, and use the unkillable character.

Spend so many hours playing with toys in the bathtub, that mom has to refill the tub with hot water twice.

(9/11) When the principal came over the intercom and announced we were all being sent home with an important letter to give to our parents, and how we all tried to read the letters, but didn't understand the words, and were scared we did something wrong. Only to learn about what happened years later.

"Smooth" by Santana ft. Rob Thomas

Gym class with the big rainbow parachute, and those roller things you always pinched your fingers with.

Colorfoul baindaids.

A bike with training wheels and colorful tassels, swing sets, and a basketball net.

Mr.Bubbles boxed bubble bath solution.

Zoobooks, Zootycoon, Zoopals plates and stealing my uncle's National Geographic tapes to watch instead of Disney movies.

Rolling down my friend's driveway on her skateboard, and slamming into trash cans for fun.

Ballet, pink leotards, runs in tights, Dum-Dum suckers, and the heavy scent of resin and rubber tumbling mats.

Every single Disney movie to come from the Florida studio, along with every unnecessary sequel, and thinking they're all spectacular!!! Especially Dinosaur.

Aladaar costume for Halloween, and a hoard of Dinosaur figures that changed if they got wet.

Now That's What I Call Music and it's shadow, Kidz Bopz, and their commercials.

Shark fins, flippers, and goggles, super soakers, hoola-hoops, and laying on a Tarzan beach towel in my backyard.

A white, two-door Olds Mobile with a blue velvet interior, where I always sat middle seat.

Tomb Raider, and it's Guide Book, that I carried to school with me for three years.

Grape scented sun screen.

Going to Blockbuster and rerenting the same three Skydancers VHSs.

The Spongebob episode Band Geeks being on every Sunday after church.

Only having two channels to choose from on the satelite: Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, and then discovering the Disney Channel.

Being terrified of a Harry Potter calender because or the troll, but rewatching the Sorcerer's Stone four times in a day, because why not?

Green ketchup for the Shrek movie.

Grape flavored children's Motron chewables for fevers, and orange flavored cough syrup.

Combination TV/VCR, and turning the tv to channel 03 to play the PlayStation.

Mr.Rogers, Between the Lions, Arthur, Clifford the Big Red Dog, and Cyberchase.

Galvanized swimming pools and turtle sand boxes.

Dial-up, AOL, and Neopets.

Lisa Frank fuzzy art, and just fuzzy art in general. (You know? Those posters where you color between the velvet??? Those.)

A "karaoke machine" that taught me how to pirate audio via tape recording, and use it to save my favorite songs.

Switching from a corded home phone to a cordless home phone.

Playing The Power Puff Girls at recess and fighting over who was Blossom.

Singing Bass.

Glow stars on the ceiling.

The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, and their kickass theme song.

Malcolm in the Middle, and being suspicious that my brother was actually Reese, because they both had frosted tips and liked to rollerblade.

Large part of my childhood taking place in a roller-rink or bowling alley, where adults could smoke inside.

Chuck e Cheese hand stampings, and the Spider-Stomp game.

Pine-green walls in most of the house, wood paneling and blue shag carpet in the basement.

Sitting in my grandma's Cow kitchen and watching Forensic Files while she chain smoked and did crosswords.

Playing Aggrevation, Stratego, Rummikub, and Sorry! regularly as a family.

Getting a Gameboy Advanced SP, scratching your name into the back of it, and playing Pokémon Sapphire in the dark during every car trip.

Amazing Ali dolls, Polly Pockets with rubber clothing, Barbie movies, and the rise of Bratz dolls.

Tech Decks!!!

Fruit shapes with gum inside them, Baby Bottle Pops, and their weird cousin that was a paint brush and paint bucket.

My brother's baseball games, playing in the dirt, ordering a Pepsi by myself from the consession stand in a foam cup with blue and purple squiggles on it.

Walking up the street to my friends house to play with her Perler beads and watch Goosebumps.

Know how to draw the S, Tarzan Monkey Man, and the "Knife in Your Back" games.

Can fold a fortune teller but can't make a paper airplane

Yellow raincoat and boots, sith a matching yellow hat.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Goosebumps, Juni B. Jones, Pony Pals, and American Girl books.

Too old for the Wiggles, but watching them at 4am on a Sunday, half-asleep, because insomnia in children is a real problem.

Myth Busters, Shark Week, and the discovery of Adult Swim, and anime.

Naruto running and falling on my face.

Going on a car trip and my friend putting in "a new CD by this new band", and hearing Welcome to the Black Parade for the first time ever and losing my goddamn mind.

Discovering Kingdom Hearts because of YouTube AMVs.

The rise of Emo culture, Zwinkie, Vampire Freaks, and the Vampire boom in pop culture.

6 notes · View notes

jackalopejess · 6 years

Photo

To my Tumblr followers,

The following letter is being posted here for hosting purposes, as this is my only publicly maintained blog that people can easily visit. In truth, it has nothing at all to do with most of you. You may read it, if you wish, or disregard it. It recounts a big change in my life that happened following the death of a close friend.

-------

Hello,

My name is Jess Hillard, I am 26 years old (27 in February), and I was a very close friend of the late Richard Concepcion. Some of you know my name, some may not, but if you’ve followed Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends within the past seven years, you’ve seen my work. I illustrated many graphics used in episodes of the show, crafted an updated puppet, and rebuilt the Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit (with the exception of the vest, another friend made that). This is my first public statement since Richard’s death, as like many of you, I have needed time and space to grieve, and think about things. If you were a friend or fan of Richard’s, I kindly ask that you take some time to fully read this letter. I know it’s long, and I’m not the most eloquent writer there is, but it’s still extremely important that this be read, as it contains information about something Richard wanted me to do after he died. I’m very sad that he’s gone, but I can’t change that, and now it’s time for me to do what I need to do. Please allow me to better introduce myself by starting at our beginning:

Richard and I met in February of 2010 when I invited him to my 19th birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese’s here in Delaware. An unplanned trip to a CEC the summer before had sparked my interest in the animatronics and merchandise, so much that I decided to host my birthday party there with my furry friends. During that time I joined the Showbiz Pizza fan forum in search of others fans who held my same interests. While browsing I happened upon a user called ‘RapidTRabbit,’ a name I recognized from my time in the furry fandom. He produced a puppet show that had been around for a long time. Although I hadn’t watched too many episodes, I found the show to be extremely charming and endearing, and thought it would be cool to meet the person who created it, especially if he was a Chuck E. Cheese fan too. I had never spoken to him prior, and I didn’t know any other furry who knew him. Still, I sent him a message through the Showbiz forum, introducing myself as a furry fan, telling him I had a CEC birthday coming up and I invited him to join me. As I’m sure you’d expect, he accepted my invitation and came down. Via train, of course. And we had a great time that day. Most people would generally have considered a 19-year-old girl inviting a 52-year-old man she doesn’t know from the internet to her birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese’s to not be a very bright idea. But for me, it ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Absolutely.

In the months and years following that first meeting, I offered any creative services I could to Richard, hoping to aid in the production of Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends and keep it going forward. At the time, and to this day, I found it incredible that he produced his show on his own, since 1983, and had kept it going consistently for all these years. Watching the show, I can recall enjoying it’s genuine simplicity and friendly humor. It made me happy. And I could tell that Richard was someone with a lot of creative passion and ambition, just like me. His show was the kind of project I wanted to be a part of. With Richard’s help, I learned navigate buses and trains and traveled up to New York City regularly to work with him. In early 2011, I rebuilt the Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit, crafting a new body and adding new fur to the original fiberglass head, and maintained the suit throughout the years. I never charged Richard anything for it. I did it because I thought a man as dedicated as he was deserved to have a nice looking costume. Richard and I made many RTR appearances together, like the OCNJ Doo Dah Parade, the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island, or Puppet Day at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum in New York Harbor. And when there were no appearances to attend or episodes to record, we spent a lot of time together as friends, going to restaurants, walking through parks, seeing shows and riding carousels.

Richard introduced me to so many places and things about New York City that I’ve grown to love. More than I could ever list. Red Bowl Noodle Shop in Flushing was our favorite place to have dinner together. On longer trips, he welcomed me into his home, small and crowded as it was, and gave me a place to lay down, watch some cartoons and talk about things we both enjoyed. We had a lot of adventures outside of the city, too. I can the remember the thrill and excitement of riding the classic Derby Racer together at Rye Playland in Westchester County. We once traveled to Salem, MA for the 10th and final iteration of Cheesevention, the Chuck E. Cheese/Showbiz pizza fan convention. Some years he’d come down from New York and spend Christmas time with me, and we’d swap gifts, go out for dinner and see each of The Hobbit trilogy films in theaters each year as they came out. I can remember riding the Muppet carousel getting our photo taken with Big Bird at Sesame Place, and I can remember him taking me to the real set of Sesame Street in Kaufman Astoria Studios to introduce me to the “real” Big Bird, his friend Caroll Spinney. One year, we both stood on the boardwalk during Ocean City, NJ’s First Night celebration, watching fireworks go off in the midnight sky as we rang in a new year, promising each other to make it even better than the last. He even took me with him on one of his birthday trips to Disney World because I told him that growing up I’d never had a chance to go. He was a fantastic friend. I truly, genuinely enjoyed his company, and I feel like he really enjoyed mine too.

I’ve thought about Richard a lot since he died. At least once per day. I think about the kind of person he was, the moments we shared together, the things we did and said. The last time I saw him was in June, when he and a friend came down to my house to pick up some of his Care Bear costumes. It was the same as every other visit. He brought me a gift, a Disney Store plush of Bing Bong from Inside Out, because he remembered just how much I love that movie. We talked about the same things we always did. He taught me something I didn’t know about old technology, specifically the Sony Trinitron television set. We talked a bit about the next steps of producing the new Rapid T. Rabbit show we’d been developing for a few years. He took a ride on Butterbean, my toy spring horse. I told him I’d try to visit NYC soon to buy fabric, that we’d go eat at Red Bowl Noodle Shop again. We gave each other our usual big hug, I said I’d see him again soon, and he went home. The day before he died, he texted me photos of a Fix-It Felix arcade cabinet that he found at a barcade while on vacation in Oregon. He remembered how much fun I had playing that game when we found it at Disney Quest, and wanted to remind me of it.

That’s the sort of thing Richard did. He remembered things that people liked, and then he’d share things or do things to make them smile; he would bring them the same kind of happiness that he had. And I miss that happiness. I’m sad that it’s gone from this world. Richard was, without question, the most kind, happy, caring, and selfless person I have ever met in my life so far. He was special to me. Richard is the first person close to me to die, and I cry when I think that I will never, ever get to see him again. I don’t cry as much as I did in August and September, but I do still cry sometimes, and there’s a certain emptiness in my heart that hurts every now and then. But I’m learning to be okay and move on. Bit by bit, every day. I know that coping with a loss is different for everyone, but for me specifically, a big part of moving on means accepting the responsibility of fulfilling Richard’s final wish for Rapid T. Rabbit. I don’t know if he ever wrote it down, or if he ever told it to anyone else. But now, after some time, I’m ready to tell it to all of you.

Sometime in early 2012 I took a trip to NYC to see Richard. I don’t recall every detail of this specific visit, as there were so many, but I remember when this one took place because it wasn’t long after his father passed away that January. We were in his apartment, having a conversation about end of life affairs. One of his brothers had recently sent him a Word document template for a will and instructed him to fill in. I agreed with that idea, because you never know when you’re going to go, and having a will written makes things legally easier for those left behind to take care of your things. Richard told me that he’d already thought about this sort of thing, like who would want to have Care Bear mascot costumes, and who he’d give his rocking horses to. It was a weird conversation to have, but worth having, because we’re all going to go one day. He told me the names of a few friends he’d wanted to write in, and then he said that he asked if I was willing to be one of them. He wanted to give me Rapid T. Rabbit. And I can remember feeling.. sort of humbled in that moment. I listened.

He said that he wanted to leave me the original episode library recorded on hundreds of U-matic tapes, his editing system, the puppets, the costume, production logs, and all other show assets, so that I might preserve the show he had made and continue it in some form after he died. He said I’d need to find someone to perform the mascot costume, and I’d likely need a person who was able to imitate his voice. And I can remember him smiling and chuckling as he talked. Richard told me that Rapid T. Rabbit was his life’s work, his Kermit the Frog. He said, and I quote, “I want the character to outlive me.” I looked to him and said that I would. I promised. And he smiled and thanked me. To this day, I don’t know exactly what made him decide to choose me to be his successor. I never thought to ask. But still, I understood that for the first time in my life, I had granted a dying wish; I knew that one day I would be responsible to producing Rapid. T Rabbit, and that it would be a life commitment. But I thought that would be maybe fiteen years from now. I did not expect it to be only five. I don’t think any of us did. But things happen, and Richard’s gone now. He is at peace. And now I have to keep my promise.

Richard never finished writing his will, as far as I know. Maybe it’s a partially-filled Word document sitting on a hard drive somewhere. He had a tendency to procrastinate with things like that, and I never pressed him to finish it because I didn’t think to. I didn’t think he was dying. So as such, I wasn’t given any of his Rapid T. Rabbit-related assets and possessions. But that’s okay. I don’t need them to keep RTR alive, or to finish the new show we had started producing together. In addition, a great deal of Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends episodes and other resources are already online, so I can further archive them myself from there. And as you can see, I also have one of the original Rapid T. Rabbit puppets. In September, around Richard’s birthday, I remembered that I had the puppet, disassembled, in my fursuit workshop. Richard left it with me many years ago for refurbishing, and I’d used it as a basis to build the updated puppet in 2013. He’s since been put back together and will be taken very good care of. I’m unsure of who is in possession of Richard’s other RTR assets as of this writing, but whoever they are, I’m sure they’ll take care of them as well.

On February 21, 2018, Rapid T. Rabbit will celebrate his 35th anniversary, and will celebrate and many, many more in the years to follow. I currently lack the resources to create the new puppet show Richard and I had developed, so I plan to tell its story through a webcomic. I have absolutely no intention of monetizing the character in any way, shape or form at this time. A Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit will also be built to star in future videos and appear at select events. I spent time thinking about whether it would be right to do this. A fursuit is a very personal thing, and the idea of replicating a deceased furry’s costume is usually met with contempt for a good reason. In my thinking, I recalled Richard’s passion for mascots. He was a professional mascot for most of his life, after all. Richard had such a love for costumed characters, both performing them and getting to meet them. I know in my heart that he would want Rapid to continue to exist as a mascot character in the real world, so people would still be able to meet him and get their photo taken with him. I realize that it for many of you, it will be weird to see Rapid T. Rabbit without Richard, and I understand that it may be a little uncomfortable to think about. It is for me, too. But it’s what I have to do. This is how I keep my promise to a friend. It’s how I thank Richard for seven and a half years of wonderful friendship and kindness, for memories that I will treasure for the rest of my days. It’s how I grieve, how I honor a person I loved, and how I say goodbye. I hope you can understand, and forgive me if need be.

I believe I’ve said everything I need to say, for now. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this letter. Thank you to Richard’s friends and fans. To everyone who was involved with Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends, whether it was for many years or for a single episode. Thank you to all the fursuiters who marched in Doo Dah year after year. To the people at Hi-4! Entertainment who invited Rapid T. Rabbit to join them at their charity events. Thank you to his brothers and sisters for supporting their brother’s pursuits, peculiar as they may have been. Thank you to the staff of Midwest FurFest for making him an inaugural Guest of Honor in 2000, and for inviting him back in 2009. Thank you to everyone who helped make Rapid T. Rabbit who he is. And last, but far from least, thank you, Richard, for entrusting me with Rapid, for being my friend, and for sharing so much of your life and dreams with me. I will be forever thankful to have known you, and I only wish I had one last chance to tell you exactly how much you meant to me.

Should anyone need to contact me regarding anything I’ve written above, or have another related question or comment for me, please send an email to [email protected]. This mailbox was set up specifically for the purpose of receiving RTR-related messages without having to publicly share my email address. By choice, I do not maintain a public online profile, even before Richard passed away. My daily life is very busy, so I will only be able to check this mailbox and write replies a few times a week, but I will do my best to answer your questions. Thank you for being patient with me while I work things out. I hope you all have a good holiday season, and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Take care, see you next year, and keep hoppin’ happy.

Sincerely,

Jess Hillard and “Rapid T. Rabbit”

December 20, 2017

26 notes · View notes

shaneandabel · 6 years

Text

Cocoa Butter Kisses by Chance The Rapper, Vic Mensa, and Twista

Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses Okie dokie, alky. Keep it lowkey like Thor lil bro Or he'll go blow the loudy, saudy of sour Saudi Wiley up off peyote, wilding like that coyote If I sip any Henny, my belly just might be outtie Pull up inside a huggy, Starsky & Hutch a dougie I just opened up the pack in an hour I'll ash my lucky Tonight she just yelling "Fuck me" Two weeks she'll be yelling fuck me Used to like orange cassette tapes with Timmy, Tommy, and Chuckie And Chuck E. Cheese's pizzas, Jesus pieces, sing Jesus love me Put Visine inside my eyes so my grandma would fucking hug me Oh generation above me, I know you still remember me My afro look just like daddy's, y'all taught me how to go hunting (BLAM!) Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses I will smoke a little something but I don't inhale Everywhere that I go, everywhere they be asking hows it going Say the goings well Go figure, Victor's light skinned, Jesus got me feeling like Colin Powell All praise to the God, God knows he's a pro, he's a pro like COINTEL Check, check mate, check me, take me to the bedroom, let you know me well I mean normally, you see, Norma Jean wouldn't kick it with Farmer Phil But these kids these days they get so high, burn trees, smoke Chlorophyll 'Til they can't feel shit, shit faced, faced it, 15 hits on this L Elevated, train, and the craziest thing, got me feeling like Lauryn Hill Miseducated, my dick delegated, rap Bill Bellamy, they said I shoulda never made it Probably shoulda been dead or in jail Deadbeat dad, enough of that jazz, asshole, absinthe up in that class Are we there yet? Ice cubes in a bong, we're brain dead, take a tug and then pass I think we all addicted, Yeah, I think we all addicted Really though, I think we all addicted I think we addicted Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my memories, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I think we all addicted Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses I could make a flow, pitter patter with a patter pitter Two seats used to be in a jalabiya and a kufi Trying hard not to be addicted to a groupie I ended up on an album cover in a Coogi You see, I be still a God but a goofy You be flowing out by trucks in a Uzi That's the new principle, sometimes I'm a be about some ho Sometimes I'm a wanna make a movie And when it come to rapping fast, I'm the Higgs Boson And though my style freakish I could still break your body down to five pieces like I did Voltron Cause I'm addicted to the craft and I be off a OG Know me, I'm the Obi-Wan Kenobi of the dope see Never scared of mean spirits, methamphetamine lyrics Cooler like I'm offa codeine, low key Don't be so judgmental, even though I'm reminiscing If I don't know what I miss is I'm a end up figuring out that it's home And my mother and my grandmother cocoa butter kisses This is just a testament to the ones that raised me The ones that I praise and I'm thanking I need em but the chronic all up in my clothes And I wanna get a hug, and I can't cause I'm stanking Never too old for a spanking Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my memories, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I think we all addicted Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses Cigarettes on cigarettes, my mama think I stank I got burn holes in my hoodies, all my homies think it's dank I miss my cocoa butter kisses, I miss my cocoa butter kisses

#Cocoa Butter Kisses #Chance The Rapper #Vic Mensa #Twista

1 note · View note

reneeacaseyfl · 5 years

Text

The Lonely Pursuit of Air Hockey Greatness

[What you need to know to start the day: Get New York Today in your inbox.]

At a bar in Brooklyn this spring, when the hockey playoffs were still going on, a guy with a nose ring and glasses approached a visitor from Toronto who was watching the Maple Leafs game on a small TV in the corner of the bar. He challenged the Leafs fan to a game of air hockey and even offered to buy him a beer if he won.

He neglected to mention that he was currently ranked No. 10 in the world and was almost certainly the best air hockey player in New York.

His name was Justin Flores, and he had been coming to Ontario, a dive bar in Williamsburg, for weeks, waiting for anybody to approach the table. He’d recently found a student — a New Yorker named Liz Cash, who hoped to become the top-ranked female player in the world, and he had her training with the appropriate intensity. He himself was also getting ready for the World Championships that were set for the end of July in Colorado Springs. Both he and his mentee are attending and fully expect to achieve glory if not win much in the way of money.

But he was always on the lookout for more disciples, and he was always up for a game.

When the Canadian sidled over between periods, Mr. Flores was visibly pumped. If it was hard for him to attract opponents, it was no problem drawing a crowd once a game was underway. For one thing, Mr. Flores, who is 30, holds the mallet by its edge, not by the knob, the way most people do, which is the mark of a novice. He also knows how to put the puck into a so-called circle drift, gently cycling it back and forth before executing a killer shot.

Like a true hustler, Mr. Flores let the Canadian score a few points. The subsequent annihilation of his opponent drew stares. One bearded observer took the Juul out of his mouth and looked stunned. “I’ve never seen anyone play like that,” he said.

Mr. Flores became hooked on air hockey while shooting photos of the national championship for his college paper a decade ago in Houston, a hotbed of elite players. He can’t sum up what he loved about the game in a single sentence, or really at all — it’s just “too big” for him. He’s an engineer in training, a really no-nonsense guy. But for him, as much as he thinks it’s corny to say, air hockey is an art.

“It’s a level playing field,” he said, “and what someone does with it is up to them.”

But when he moved to New York in 2013, he found that few people felt the same way. In a city that has no less than five Quidditch teams and a competitive musical chairs tournament, almost no one seemed interested in his passion.

Mr. Flores has posted fliers around Ontario Bar (the only place in the area that would give him permission) and on Facebook groups like New York Air Hockey Club (which has fewer than 100 followers) with his challenge: He will buy a beer for anyone who can beat him. So far, he hasn’t had to.

According to the Air Hockey Players Association, one of the sport’s governing bodies, only 24 air hockey players in the world are designated professionals, and only 10 of them are recognized as masters. As far as he knows, Mr. Flores is the only air hockey master in the five boroughs. That’s something he’s been trying to change for years — his goal is to cultivate a local scene that rivals the one in his home state of Texas, where the game’s rules were first codified and the best players have historically come from.

But even there, competitive air hockey is relatively obscure. Aficionados blame the arrival of the video game Pong, released by Atari in 1972 — the same year that air hockey tables first went to market. Bar patrons clearly preferred digital table tennis; air hockey tables briefly went out of production in 1978.

A fanatic named Mark Robbins, who happened to be the son of Atari’s former president, rejected his birthright and rented a van so he could drive across the country and hold air hockey exhibitions at arcades, buying as many tables as he could along the way. His hope was that, at the very least, he and his friends could keep playing for the rest of their lives.

By 1985, he had persuaded a company called Dynamo Corp. to begin making what’s now considered an acceptable facsimile of the original table. Finding a Dynamo of a certain length — which by design features no blinking, distracting lights alongside it — is now the Holy Grail for enthusiasts.

Real estate is also part of the story. Competition air hockey tables are eight feet long, but space considerations in New York bars typically only allow for one that’s a foot shorter. Another complication arises from the fact that some of the few places in the city that can fit a bigger table don’t seem to want Mr. Flores around. He prefers to bring his own regulation puck, which is heavier and more robust than the flimsy plastic ones that you find at barroom tables.

“It’s like practicing baseball with a Wiffle ball,” Mr. Flores said.

With heaviness comes loudness. In fact, he was banned from training at a place with an eight-foot table in Bay Ridge last year because he switched out the default puck for a version that the pool-playing crowd found distracting. So now he’s exclusively training at Brownstone Billiards in Park Slope, where the air hockey table is in a different area from the pool players. It’s a trek from where Mr. Flores lives, in Ridgewood, Queens, but it’s worth it.

It’s also convenient for Liz Cash, Mr. Flores’s student, who lives in Crown Heights and will be joining him at the Colorado tournament. The table is paid for by the hour rather per game, which is much better for practicing maneuvers, like a boxer working a speed bag.

The two met in 2015 at Ontario Bar, and Mr. Flores instantly saw something in Ms. Cash, a muscular physical therapist. She’s a competitive boxer, unable to fully dedicate herself to martial arts because she keeps injuring both of her wrists. But she’s apparently in prime condition for air hockey.

Ms. Cash didn’t realize it was a legitimate sport until she met Mr. Flores at one of his air hockey meetups. When he told her that her competitive drive and athletic prowess gave her the capacity for greatness, she went from merely interested to obsessed.

“He told me I could be the best woman in the world,” she said at a recent training session. “At that time, Justin was like Yoda to me. He might as well have been levitating off the table.” She’s since started juggling and training her vision.

With only weeks to go before the 2019 Air Hockey Players Association World Championship tournament in Colorado Springs, the training partners had some work to do. Ms. Cash tends to stick out her left leg when shooting, like a figure skater going into an Arabesque. It’s a good way for her to build momentum — she describes it like the final piece of a whipping motion that begins at the arm. Plus: “Sometimes I do it because I’m only 5-foot-3 and have to be on my tiptoes.”

Although she’s quite ferocious and talented, she suffers from Meniere’s disease, which can induce the kind of vertigo she suffered the only other time she seriously competed, in 2017. She finished a disappointing 22nd in that tournament, but she thinks she could have won the whole thing if she hadn’t gotten dizzy.

An additional obstacle to her ascentis that she has only Mr. Flores and another pro, based out of Connecticut, to practice against. There’s also the fact that the table she’s training on in Park Slope isn’t very good. It meets the basic specifications, but it also has a huge gash on one end, doesn’t keep score, and frequently turns off in the middle of a game.

“This is like Chuck-E-Cheese for adults,” said Ms. Cash. “All the other serious players practice on tables that work well. Everything should be like butter.”

Before their recent practice session, Mr. Flores wiped down the lackluster table with isopropyl, and the two taped up their middle and index fingers. When they started playing, they both hit the puck so hard that it regularly flew off the table. They took turns unplugging the Dynamo, trying in vain to make it fully operational for the entirety of a match. It didn’t work, and Ms. Cash used the frequent pauses to drink a homemade concoction full of electrolytes out of a Mason jar. “I was surprised the first time I went to Colorado just how much you can sweat from air hockey,” she said.

After a couple of hours, the two were involved in a heater of a set. Ms. Cash was ultimately victorious, seven games to four. She was pretty sure that it was the first time she’d beaten her mentor — a good sign for Colorado — and something she attributed to the fact that she’d just learned how to juggle with four balls earlier that day. She was positive that had caused new areas to light up in her brain.

Since then, she’s spent hours practicing her forehand with a goal blocker. She’s also been playing against co-workers from the gym and training her vision. She thinks that this unique form of preparation will push her over the edge to beat Niki Flanagan, the best woman air hockey player of all time.

“My advantage will come from my insight into the human body,” Ms. Cash said. “No one else in the tournament is going to be thinking about their cerebellum.” As Ivan Lendl did with tennis, Ms. Cash also thinks she will introduce fitness and conditioning to the game of air hockey. “These big, heavy guys who I’m going to play against will be stiff,” she said. “That’s going to limit them.”

Ms. Flanagan is aware of her challenger. Now 47, Ms. Flanagan has returned from a five-year hiatus after having a daughter. A graduate of the University of Texas with what is said to be a devastating cross-straight shot, she was ranked as high as No. 14 in the world before she became pregnant.

When she decided to get back into the game about a year ago, she checked out some Facebook pages for air hockey and saw the sport had become much more physical than back in her day. Ms. Flanagan said that she started running and lost 61 pounds. She’s heard about Ms. Cash’s prowess but doesn’t quite know what to make of her.

“She has a good formula, because she’s into fitness and working out,” she said. “That’s a big part of things now. My stamina is up from running, and I’m on a low-carb diet. But I honestly have no idea what vision training even is. I’ll have to ask her about that when we finally meet.”

Credit: Source link

The post The Lonely Pursuit of Air Hockey Greatness appeared first on WeeklyReviewer.

from WeeklyReviewer https://weeklyreviewer.com/the-lonely-pursuit-of-air-hockey-greatness/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-lonely-pursuit-of-air-hockey-greatness from WeeklyReviewer https://weeklyreviewer.tumblr.com/post/186396282792

0 notes

velmaemyers88 · 5 years

Text

The Lonely Pursuit of Air Hockey Greatness

[What you need to know to start the day: Get New York Today in your inbox.]

He neglected to mention that he was currently ranked No. 10 in the world and was almost certainly the best air hockey player in New York.

But he was always on the lookout for more disciples, and he was always up for a game.

“It’s a level playing field,” he said, “and what someone does with it is up to them.”

“It’s like practicing baseball with a Wiffle ball,” Mr. Flores said.

“This is like Chuck-E-Cheese for adults,” said Ms. Cash. “All the other serious players practice on tables that work well. Everything should be like butter.”

Credit: Source link

The post The Lonely Pursuit of Air Hockey Greatness appeared first on WeeklyReviewer.

0 notes