#certainly nothing to worry about

[pixlokita]

Status: -lost about 20% of my hair and got sick from eating too many mini red velvet cupcakes-

#pix habla #why are Saturdays always like this #idk why all my hair almost fell out 😭 the pony tail is slipping off from the lack of hairrrrr #I legit just stared at the chunk of hair that just? what #like I was brushing it this morning and it was fine #certainly nothing to worry about #:v not venting I’m laughing about it this is the weirdest way to end the year #>>; I still have half of the mini red velvet cupcakes left

[daenystormborn]

you’d think the boys would realize dracula has gotten to mina given that all of them (aside from jonathan) saw what happened to lucy 

#just finished catching up on the entires #entries* #apparently in time for a very long one tomorrow #oh shes much too pale and not sleeping well and seems tired? #and we're hunting a vampire who was very possibly outside of the window the other day while we discussed things? #and a man in the building has direct contact with him and tried to warn us something was going to happen? #certainly nothing to worry about #van helsing especially should know #also apparently van helsing was talking about corn and i missed it since i tend to skim his monologues

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show??? #when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right????? #and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

[hamartia-grander]

so my general paranoia has always been pretty bad (hi ocd) but I thought it was more manageable the past few years as I've matured and gotten better at catching myself before I spiral, but recently (as in the past three weeks or so) it's been so bad that I do things impulsively as I'm spiralling without even realising it and it's been negatively affecting the way I perceive how friends think of me which I do NOT want to start happening again because that sucked. Idk why it's happening but I'd be grateful for any advice idrk what else to say about it.

#But anyways if you catch me acting really strange (more than usual) #or saying/doing things that seem overly docile or apologetic it's just another spiral don't worry about it #I genuinely don't know why it's gotten so much worse like I didn't change my meds I didn't change my diet I didn't change my habits #nothing crazy happened #I just have no idea #forcing myself to be vulnerable to my friends because I need help and it's about time I let people know that #affirmations certainly help but I feel so so bad asking for them like 'ohh I'm just fishing for compliments' or 'ohh I need someone to say #smthn nice every 6 seconds or I die' or 'ohhh I'm being so dramatic wahh' you know how it is #I at first thought it was just one or two occasions but no it's happened repeatedly consistently with ALL of my friends #and even coworkers and professors #I need to get out of my head I apologise to everyone who's ever had to deal with me spiralling #I promise I don't say the shit I do because I want you to feel bad for me I just genuinely in the moment am thinking that way #I know it's bad and after it's over I feel awful about it but idk what to do

[azoosepted]

i must draw bl don x kurokumo ishmael yuri i must draw bl don x kurokumo ishmael yuri i must draw bl don x kurokumo ishmael yuri i must [dies]

#nothing more gay than dueling eachother in a turf war amirite or amirite #“Ishmael began to notice a pattern.” #“Surely enough / the bright eyed Salsu always found her way to her / as if she were seeking out Ishmael specifically.” #“Their blades would always find themselves clashing against each other / no matter the place and time of conflict.” #“For whatever reason / Ishmael began to anticipate their duels.” #“She began to eagerly await each battle between the Kurokumo Clan and the Blade Lineage.” #“And when a fight erupted / Ishmael would scan the crowd for the petite swordswoman.” #“It was only a matter of time before she’d inevitably show up / dashing in with her blade in hand.” #“And then a long / lengthy / and passionate duel would be had between the two.” #“Only a few thousand duels later / and raised eyebrows (as well as questioning) from Heathcliff did Ishmael realize:” #“She had stopped attempting to purposefully harm her opponent.” #“It was certainly odd / Ishmael had to admit. The way she found herself lost in the swordswoman’s eyes…” #“Or the way she felt almost dizzy looking at the swordswoman’s smile… 'Cute' had been a word Ishmael used to describe that grin—” #“Which had earned her a couple of raised eyebrows from her clanmates (and in Rodya’s case / a snicker.)” #“It was surely nothing though / Ishmael thought to herself / as she gripped the hilt of her katana.” #“Another battle was about to break out / after all…” #“And she could worry about the implications of the sensations she feels when fighting against that particular somebody afterwards.” #if i had a nickel for wvery time i hijacked the tags to write an entire minific #id have two nickels #which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice #anzu says shit #ishdon #limbus company #project moon #lcb ishmael #lcb don quixote

[lucdoodle]

This fanart sure has a lot of green in it

#SO MUCH GREEN #haha in the fog? no there's no one- i mean nothing there haha don't worry about it #certainly not a dog-secret fox haha what do you MEAN hahaha #his vest first look like a chocolate wrapper so I had to tone it down a bit (a lot actually ah) lol #mystery skulls #mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls arthur #msa #arthur kingsmen #??? #myart

[erotismofthemachine]

I started watching Transformers G1 and i love this silent stoic single father of 12

#soundwave g1 #g1 soundwave #transformers #transformers g1 #this has NOTHING to do with my robotfucking obsession dont even worry about it #i certainly did not come to transformers via the valveplug tag ahah dont even worry about it

[serpulalacrymans]

you should come by the shop sometime… i wanna know what your face looks like.

Someday I might. It looks nice there.. Nice and cozy..

#dont worry about my face #im nothing special.. #you certainly are #you're nice...

[sysig]

I’ll be fine, I just have to get it all out of my system (Patreon)

#Doodles #Spoiler alert: It has been got out of my system by this point lol #I had a bad writing day and it was terribly demotivating :P I've gotten over it lol #It was an Offline Monday and the previous several days had been such good writing days! To the point where I was worn out lol #But not recognizing that and expecting to just be able to Keep Going - well it led to a minor crash lol #Again nothing bad just complainy and demotivating I'm fine ♪ #I am a little :/ about my devices being in the state they are that certainly doesn't help #My laptop's hinge and my iPod being so old and janky and my poor old tablet - still the main one I'm using lol #I think most of my USB drives are shot on this poor laptop so my new tablet that needs more than just the one just....doesn't work lol #It's a good backup to be sure tho! I do still kinda want a standalone proper-like... Investing in an iPad at some point is probably... #Well I'll worry about it more when it's an Actual Problem - for the moment everything is still working! Not the best but it's Doing! #Back to the writing et al lol - It was my Big Project which I think I've pretty clearly gestured at being an Adventure Time comic lol #I have not in fact rewatched the series beginning to end since finishing it - I've watched certain episodes but not just a front to back #I think a rewatch would be very entertaining! Seeing how all the pieces align from knowing the ending going in :) #But I'm good for the moment lol - I've got enough to work on to keep me going for a while yet haha #And as always I want More More More Tamagotchis #I've got my three but I want more! #Always about money huh :P Slowly but surely

[vcrnons]

technically yes i did leave my old job but you wouldn’t believe it with the way i am still somehow at their beck and call

#shut up j #work chronicles #‘oh they want you to certify for this trial’ ‘ok well im already busy covering their clinic this morning so i cant do that’ #‘mmmm yeah but they really really want you to certify’ #WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO #i cannot be in two places at once and i most certainly cannot do two ******** activities at the same time #do they want me to see their patients or do they want me to take test images and more importantly WHEN WILL I STOP BEING THEIR BITCH i left #for a reason 😭😭😭😭😭 #gonna commit violent crimes before the end of the day don’t worry about it #(violent crimes : sit in this room and sulk but ultimately say nothing because they do in fact have me under their thumb until I leave the #trust entirely. i fear.) ( who gives af about me and what I want though right) (lmao)

[jyou-no-sonoko19]

A Longing for the Fugue State | April 1970

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, s3 finale | April 1970

Answers for Mary | April-August 1970

You Have Not Earned My Name | July 1970

Upon Whose Ear, These Confessions? | August 1970

Impatient, The Spirit Twists | September 1970

Since The Beginning | September 1970

Not In The Room | September 1970

Housekeeping | October 1970

It’s Been Too Long | 22 October 1970

What is the Worst Thing (and Why Is It Me)? | 31 October 1970

Flying Into Walls | November 1970

Mary’s Birthday comic | 17 November 1970

Components of the Season | December 1970

Dreadfully Sincere & Sentimental | 31 December 1970

Consumed | February 1971

Smothering | 2 March 1971

Seasons of Lilith | March 1971

Aftermath | September 1971

Missing Pieces | November 1971

The Strange and the Familiar | December 1971

No Saints, No Paper Hearts, No Sacrifices | February 1972

#Answers for Mary #AfMverse #Mary Wardwell #caos Lilith #caos fic #As you surely know: #CAoS starts in 1969 according to the pilot script #even if they went off-calendar later on #And thus I've been sticking to real life calendars for the entire AfMverse timeline #also don't worry about the unlinked stuff #It'll be going up very soon #And others that I just need to name #So! While nothing between AfM and SoL is crucial reading #it certainly enriches the experience to know what they went through together #in that long series of months #Seasons of Lilith *will* extend beyond March #but I don't know the exact dates yet

[rossithepixie]

I'm actually so bad about people spending money on me. Growing up with a poor single parent and then another parent out of the house who was well enough off but a prideful penny pincher gave me weird issues. I will repair things until they can't be repaired anymore and get flustered about someone buying me a few shirts or somthing. (my roommate recently did this for me) And I can only imagine the time Aventurine would have with me. He knows what having nothing is like and he is determined to get me into the mindset that I deserve nice things, to him I deserve everything after all. It's his personal mission to spoil me rotten even if I protest the whole time and then begrudgingly admit that, yes, i really do like the things you've gotten me but the price tag attached makes me want to throw myself off a very tall object.

#it's somehow worse if it's poly with ratio because i hope he'll back me up that there's no point in spending so much #but he's also rich and next thing i know i feel like i've been conned into going back and finishing college and all my college debt #i already had is gone and i certainly don't have to worry about the cost of the rest of my education #absolutely swindled into self care bettering myself in an official academic way #rossi x aventurine #rossi x veritas ratio #i don't have good sounding ship names with the two of them yet #haven't even attempted a polyship name #nothing will probably beat roruru #just selfship things

[crowlore]

meet the guy im playing in the upcoming campaign ☝️his name is wren and he’s a charlatan light cleric

wanted to play with cheap pencils this morning so i knocked out this concept for him while chugging black coffee and listening to medieval arrangements of green day songs

#don’t worry about the scar. it certainly has nothing to do with his backstory or anything #crow art #oc: wren

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

..

#praying friends—say a prayer for me when you think of it maybe? #I’m just… trying to work through a whole lot of things that are on my mind lately #and I am quite prone to fear and anxiety and worrying over things that I really should hand to God and relinquish all hold on myself #I’ve got some medical concerns happening lately (weird aches and pains. probably nothing possibly something minor) #and that’s certainly exacerbating the situation #I just… I want peace. and rest. and trust. no more fear and worry and confusion and shame. #and I really need someone to discuss all of this with. I think maybe that would help. #and I just need God to send me someone #someone who can help me understand everything clearly again and remind me of what I already know to be true #thinking of talking to my pastor about it but he’s very busy and I’m not especially close to him so I’m not 100% sure how to approach it #anyway. yes. prayers plz. #and thank you all for being my friends. I love you all. this website and the people on it means so much to me. <3 #delete later

[labyrynth]

okay so. prefacing this with “people can and should curate their online experiences, and block whomever they see fit” etc etc

BUT. after a certain point this is just annoying??

like it’s one thing if you’re on opposite sides of the site but like.

there’s this person who has me blocked even though they 1) run in similar circles as me, 2) appear to follow or are mutuals with some of MY mutuals, and 3) appear to be mutuals with one of my irl friends???

i’ve literally never interacted with this person??

and it’s not like i can just pretend they don’t exist because it feels like i’m CONSTANTLY stumbling across them. like they made an earlier addition to a post, or someone reblogged a post from them, or tumblr says there’s more replies than it’s actually showing me.

it’s like i can only see them out of the corner of my eye but every time i try to look at them they vanish. it feels like a fucking GHOST man.

who are you?? what is your beef with me specifically when you interact with my friends??? it’s driving me insane

#moi #i guess i’ll put this in the salt tag #salt is salt #i don’t get it???? #like if i log out and look at their blog?? there’s nothing that stands out as a clearly antagonistic position??? #they’re into one of my notps but certainly not one i’ve ever posted about?? #and if they follow my friends (who largely post about the same things) then what’s the problem here???? #it lowkey feels like tumblr is trying to gaslight me ‘this person? this person isn’t real. don’t worry about it :)’

[erotismofthemachine]

I started watching Transformers G1 and i love this silent stoic single father of 12

#soundwave g1 #g1 soundwave #transformers #transformers g1 #this has NOTHING to do with my robotfucking obsession dont even worry about it #i certainly did not come to transformers via the valveplug tag ahah dont even worry about it