#cbge art

[cbge]

more of these

#cbge art #death mark #i finished ng by the way. more art to come

[sirguyofdykesborn]

whatever

#dragon age #well if it isn't the yaoi brigade #siofra tag #dill belongs ro mu beloved friend @cbge #hceinart's wilte is also there #art tag

[ffc1cb]

new art blog

the short version:

1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;

2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.

the long version:

hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.

i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle. 

i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right. 

i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.

i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation. 

i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).

i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.

i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.

anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change. 

i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down. 

there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.

so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.

thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.

i can be found in other places:

@cbge, as mentioned earlier,

@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,

@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,

and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.

thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.

#salt talks

[k0nstanta]

Wait y'all have a cohost?

er, i (cbge) do, senya (240vo) doesn't. i made it as backup for my nsfw twitter, so it's mostly 18+ with some regular art sprinkled in. here it is, in case you wanted to look

#askbox #it doesnt have some of the older art ive posted on twitter previously because i only reposted my favorites

[anone-sonone]

【ツギハギウシ】Tシャツ 販売サイトのURLはプロフィールへどうぞ🦛✨ #aNone_sOnone #ハンドメイド #手作り #クラフト #handmaid #craft #アート #art #ART #ウシ#牛 #cow #suzuri #suzuriで販売中 https://www.instagram.com/p/CBgE-HcpORx/?igshid=1iivb0fwmywmx

#anone_sonone #ハンドメイド #手作り #クラフト #handmaid #craft #アート #art #ウシ #牛 #cow #suzuri #suzuriで販売中

[cbge]

they are. like bugs to me

#cbge art #death mark #when i was playing ch1 i asked my wife what a holey hard hat is bc i didnt understand and she told me #its those yellow hats school kids in japan wear. i think we were both confused #but based on that knowledge i was like well it worked when yashiki said he's the tallest in his class. maybe i can trick it into thinking #that mashita is. in elementary school. somehow

[cbge]

must've been the wind

#cbge art #death mark #i guess. #Why is he. There.

[cbge]

#cbge art #death mark #the crop on these is making me hysterical i promise it was not intentional

[cbge]

kazuo yashiki scoliosis king

#cbge art #death mark #we finished dm2 btw. yippie

[cbge]

trying to redesign a specific trio of characters from a specific videogame so that i could be at peace calling them my ocs and failing time and time again because i just love the original designs so much. many such cases

#cbge art #ocs #if you know you know. if you dont know i wont tell you #these are from 2021 2022 and 2024 respectively i think. might be wrong about the older ones #their story started off as an au too. and then it got so ooc i decided to just make it an original thing

[cbge]

made a genshin oc. his name is lomi (any pronouns) and theyre a hydro user. and a catgirl of course

#cbge art #ocs #second character is my buddy's oc. theyre old men yuri

[cbge]

#cbge art #holostars

[cbge]

#cbge art #holostars #for future reference i would like to clarify that i draw these for my wife. the reason there are so many is because i love her

[cbge]

#cbge art #holostars

[cbge]

#cbge art

[cbge]

#cbge art #genshin