#can’t even blame him for being a sore winner there I would be too lol

[turtleblogatlast]

That middle child feel when you’re the one who successfully gets you and your siblings out of trouble only to immediately get jumped by them afterwards

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #pouring one out for all my fellow middle children 😔 #Donnie betraying his fellow middle child like this…even being the one to throw him under the bus first smh #no but like if I was Leo here I’d be like wtf guys #it does make me wonder if Leo constantly was the one who got them all out of messes #and in turn the main one who took the fall if his attempts failed rip #we kinda see this often in the series tbh? where Leo takes point when it comes to talking out a situation #maybe it started very very young as seen in this short #(actually there is no ‘if’ Leo was the one doing this he literally WAS at least twice as tots from what we’re shown) #side eyes Bug Busters where Leo gets his bros out of being turned into clowns and immediately gets blasted 😭 #no thanks in sight #can’t even blame him for being a sore winner there I would be too lol #and then he gets thrown off a building like man all around an f tier day for Hamato Leonardo #side note but Leo’s face stripes look especially pink in this lighting and I really like when we can see that pinkness because it looks cute

[borisbubbles]

34. FINLAND

Aksel - “Looking back”

I LEGIT typed out “Erika Vikman - “Cicciolina” before realizing she didn’t win. UGH.🙄 It’s definitely *TOO SOON* to discuss “Cicciolina”, especially in this context, but I must, I guess. Oh and something called “Looking back” won UMK, let’s discuss that too. 

Song Analysis

Long before I even knew what an “Erika Vikman - Cicciolina” was, I knew that the song which would later be revealed to be “Looking back” had to be destroyed. Before the artist reveal, YLE posted a list of artists the UMK entrants felt inspired by and one of them (later to revealed to be Aksel’s) literally read “SAM SMITH AND ED SHEERAN”. Like, douse in gasoline and torch it alight, destroy any trace it existed.

And yup, “Looking back” possessed the worst of both upon release: the forgettability of Smith combined with the amorphousness of Sheeran, combining efforts to make a song that sounded vaguely competent upon listen and would be forgotten the second it ended. 

Unfortunately, it’s exactly *that* vaguest hint of competence which caused Aksel to beat Erika in the end (well that and the Cantiello Effect of being the only man in a sea of fun female-fronted entries), and ugh. I’m less annoyed by Erika losing (which I expected) than I am that it was *Askel* of all entrants that beat her (was it really that hard to rig for Tika instead?). It always sucks when personality and entertainment is being downvoted for bore-ass conformity. SIGH.

NF Corner

Adding further insult to injury, UMK was pretty good! I know you are ALL longing for my thoughts on Erika, but I will get my other fave out of the way first

Sansa - “Lover view”

Dreamy trance with an ELABORATE flexing choreography that had absolutely zero chance to finish anywhere but last. 😍 Naming herself after the best GoT character (given the complete assassination of poor Jaime by D&D)  It was love at first and last sight to be honest.😍 Becoming a ESCUnited editor has its perks: ie: giving “Lover View” a 10/10 which made it leapfrog over Aksel in the editor poll, right into second place behind Erika.  🤭

Okay, I won’t leave you pining any longer. Le beaujolais nouveau est arrivée: Everybody rise for Eurovision’s most slutastic seraph:

Erika Vikman - “Cicciolina”

ALL HAIL EMPRESS ERIKA VIKMAN, QUEEN OF CAMP

A TAMER OF HUSBEARS, A PARAGON OF EUROFAGDOM

A LOVER. A FIGHTER. A PHILISOPHER. A PRIEST. AN APOSTLE. A POET.

A HOLY MARTYR WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS .

“Cicciolina” was not a song. it was a religion. 

What an epic entrant, enthralling both friend and foe with its alluring siren song. My co-editor Roy thinks She’s one of the 10 cringiest NF acts of the 2020 season - I kindly told Roy to readjust his definition of the word “cringy” before he’s murdered in his sleep. The triptych of The Perfect Eurovision Entry is having an addictive beat, putting on an exciting show and displaying lovable personality quirks and Erika not only passed all three with flying rainbow colours, She redefined the metascape for further camp pearls yet to come. “Cicciolina” was sublime and MY favourite NF flop of the season. I feel blessed for having witnessed Her and being touched by Her righteous hearth-shaped, fushia-spandex, bear-hugging light. 

So yes, it is DEVASTATING that She lost, especially to Aksel (to quote Roy again: “why do you hate Aksel, [Looking Back] is just a pop ballad” mhm exactly the problem, bro). So, you may ask yourself, if I resent the idea of Aksel beating Erika, then why don’t I rank Aksel lower than this? 

By some weird stroke of luck, I feel sorry for Aksel. Like, here’s the deal with Erika and UMK. She lost. Fair and square and Aksel won, also fair and square. It’s not Aksel’s fault “Cicciolina” emerged as a fan favourite juggernaught. It’s not Aksel’s fault that those godawful HUMOURLESS (heterosexual, jealous) pharisean juries REJECTED the blinding light of St. Erika’s halo (led by the ESTONIAN jury of all people. Fuck, Estonia were evil this year). He was there, he was adequate, and he reaped the benefits due to White Male Mediocrity. I blame not him but those who enabled it to happen. I’d say DIE ESTONIA but they’ve already died in this ranking, in last place where they belong. Anyway, I don’t dislike Aksel or his song. I just wish “Looking back” had more to offer than it being “just a pop ballad”. 🙄

Finland 2020 vs Finland 2021

Aksel would’ve almost certainly NQ’d in Rotterdam (and not just because fan opinion had turned against him. I have this *really* sick feeling that lookism would’ve claimed him and that turns my stomach), which of course makes him beating Erika (who may have NQ’d, but had a very good chance to reach the Grand final), an even bigger sore. You know perhaps the cancellation really WAS divine retribution for Cicciolina losing UMK, I guess we’ll never know, huh? 

Anyway, YLE already announced they would go for UMK again in 2021 and made zero mention of Aksel’s future participation, which is... yet another reason why I can’t hate Aksel. He’s being discarded like used toilet paper at every juncture and I so, SO sorry for him. SORRY SOMETIMES I DISCOVER THAT I TOO HAVE A HEART (an angular, plastic fuschia one) AND AM CAPABLE OF SELECTIVE EMPATHY I CANNOT HELP IT, Y’ALL.

but lol @ ranking Finland higher than 35th. You effed big time, pals, consider yourselves lucky ESC2020 never came to pass. 

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

The potential for a FREAKY!FREAKY!FREAKY! entry was huge, can you fathom the concept of FINLAND KEiiNO’ing a televote? With a polyester hair bitch in a hot pink spandex and two dancers in kodiak costumes? A smash hit fave that racked up millions of views all over Europe? It would’ve been a RIOT, even in an already meme-heavy year as 2020. Hell even the idea of a fucking “BANANAS” winning (it finished second in the jury vote, somehow??? and I mean, I stan that it did but I’m also... fucking confused that it did?) is enough for some freak-friendly labelling. Alas, Finland instead went against what the fandom were expected them to do and went with the safe pick. As eyeroll worthy as it was, Erika losing was a huge blindside for the fandom and the shock is worthy of one senhead. I would hand out more if Erika’s loss/Aksel’s win had bookended the shock winner selection streak that Arilena Ara had started, but Bárbara Tinoco decided otherwise. (although Tinoco losing is entirely self-inflicted on her behalf, but we’ll get to that in a while). Oh well. 

Score: 1 Senhit out of 5. 

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2020 #Finland #aksel kankaanranta #Looking back