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mychibichin · 2 years

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2022 self

storytime(?):

hey, what's up? it's currently 4AM right now hahaha and i'm bored. there's a lot of things going on right now to be honest. first, i'm stuck at home for almost 2 months now because of the ongoing pandemic. this caused my graduation and summer plans to be postponed. everything is in chaos. a lot of people are dying. i can't visit my family and friends, and it's makes me anxious all the time. aside from the fact that i'm bored 24/7, i'm also sad. i've failed my past self if i have to be honest. what i am now is not what my 2016 expected me to be. i've been living in constant sadness. my demons won't leave me alone and such. in spite of that, i have aljhun with me. i couldn't be more grateful for him. i hope that you're still together when you read this. and if not, maybe there's a reason for that. it's probably my fault because i'm a personification of the labyrinth.

4 years ago, i wish for myself to be happy. and i still do. how's college by the way? hahaha what course are you studying? where are you studying? did you stay in your hometown? or have you gone somewhere? did you regret your decision? i hope you're happy with your decision because right now, i'm confused and undecided and pressured and anxious all at once. it seems like everyone has it all planned out and i'm just here. it's not that big of a deal but it's just pressuring me. everything is just happening so fast. it feels like yesterday i was just preparing for my first day in 7th grade and now i'll be going to college in a few months. it's too much for me.

i just want to be happy and i hope that i am happy. scratch that, i am happy— i just wish that i was more happy than sad you know? i don't know why i'm like this. it's like being cagrd or something.

to answer one of my past self's question; yes i did i have friends. but not all of them stayed. one of them betrayed us and honestly i haven't gotten over it yet. 4 years ago when i wrote that previous letter my parents were still together. they had their constant fights, like always but they were together. unlike now. they're definitely done for good. it's a bittersweet thing. 4 years ago i have suffered but i learned a lot of lessons and it made me happy. 4 years ago i was an insecure little girl who cares too much about what other people think of her. 4 years ago i wanted to become a lawyer but now i decided i want to be a doctor. and that's the thing. things change. so 2 years from now, what are the things that have changed? was it good? was it bad? did i keep contact with my friends? how's my family? have my siblings matured? how is papa? how are my grandparents? and most especially, how am i?

i want this letter to be as positive as ever like my last one. but—there's always a but—it doesn't seem like it. it's hard to spread positivity and motivation when i'm in this state right now. i feel like crying but i don't know the absolute reason why.

message to my future self:

one thing's for sure: i want you to be happy. truly happy. with what you do and with who you are with. i wish you that you won't be as anxious as i am right now. my anxiousness won't let me sleep or act right during the day. nevertheless, be strong as what i have said before. it can be hard sometimes hahaha but keep looking forward to everything. don't let anything keep you down especially your insecurities. surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and safe. the grass will always be greener on the other side but it doesn't matter. create your own garden and beautiful flowers will blossom. i love you so much and i hope that this it would make a great impact in the phase of your life right now. i know you have phobia of stairs but you gotta climb 'em up baby.

you might cringe because i have a poor organization in writing but nonetheless i hope that you appreciate this. last thing, i love you so much. please take care of yourself. you've got dreams to achieve.

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listeliyi · 7 years

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via SON DƏQİQƏ: ƏRDOĞAN MÜSƏLMANLARI QARABAĞI AZAD ETMƏYƏ ÇAĞIRDI - VİDEO http://ift.tt/eA8V8J Bunu Türkiyə prezidenti Rəcəb Tayyib Ərdoğan İqtisadi Əməkdaşlıq Təşkilatının (İƏT) İslamabadda keçirilən 13-cü sammitində çıxışı zamanı deyib. Türkiyə prezidenti çıxışında Azərbaycan torpaqlarının Ermənistan tərəfindən işğalı məsələsinə toxunub. “Dağlıq Qarabağ münaqişəsini gözardı edə bilmərik. 20 ildən artıq davam edən danışqların heç bir nəticəsi yoxdur. ATƏT-in Minsk qrupu bu işi həll edə bilməyib. Biz bu istiqamətdə birlikdə hərəkət etməliyik. İƏT və BMT çərçivəsində bu istiqamətdə birgə tədbirləri həyata keçirə bilərik. Bütün beynəlxalq platformalarda Ermənistanın işğalçılıq siyasəti məsələsini qaldırmalıyıq. Mən inanıram ki, biz bu məsələni birlikdə qaldırsaq, nəticəni də daha tez ala bilərik”. Ərdoğan, həmçinin çıxışı zamanı Türkiyənin YPG, PKK, FETÖ və s. kimi terror təşkilatlarına qarşı mübarizə apardığını vurğulayıb.

#wsemir #mir.az

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