#caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

the haikyuu ?? gun sex fic ??????????!!?

Hehehe I'm so glad I get to inflict this cursed knowledge upon people. I won't name the fic (and if you look it up, please don't be mean to the author) but I once read, out of curiosity and then morbid fascination, a terrible Haikyuu Oikawa x reader fic that involved him putting a gun inside y/n and fucking her with it. No kinkshaming here but it sure was buckwild.

You might be wondering why I brought this story up on a post about famous French psychologist Jacques Lacan. At one point Oikawa goes through a mental breakdown or whatever (idk, I was heavily skimming at that point) and it created what are still to this day the funniest A/Ns I've ever read. I lose it at these screenshots every time.

Also, Kuroo was a criminal and his street name was DK and every time I read it as Donkey Kong

#no shade if anyone likes this fic (clearly a lot of people did based on the hits/likes) i just personally did not like it #caecilius respondit

[iampresent]

Hey. Hey you. C’mere! I have something wonderful to tell you about the  language of Latin, and specifically how it was taught in the Cambridge Elevate Latin textbook.  

Ready?

Ok so in Latin, the diminutive of any word ends in -ulus.  Basically it just adds the word “little” behind the noun.  Best example of this? “homo” means “man/person” (the species, not the gender, that’s “vir”) in Latin. “homunculus” means “little man” in Latin. Which is just a wonderful fact in and of itself. Like c’mon that’s so fun to say. You’re a homunculus. no YOU’RE a homunculus. everyone here is a homunculus. homunculus homunculus homunculus.

But that’s not the best part. Not by a long shot.

So, it’s kinda hard to teach a dead language. You can’t do a lot of conversational skills and learning, because there aren’t a ton of sources to explain how the language was spoken casually. Now, you could just make them read all the super famous Latin texts we have, but those do have a pretty high level of advancement and also happen to be about as exciting to your average high schooler as “explain your answer” math problems.

So, what is a classics course that wants to make absolutely stupendous amounts of money to do??

Well, if you’re the Cambridge Elevate Latin Course, you create one long storyline over the course of four books which goes from “astonishingly heart wrenching familial tragedy” to “surprisingly xenophobic narrative of life on the streets of Alexandria” to “extremely out-of-pocket political intrigue” to “telenovela” faster than you can say “Sed Caecilius non respondit”. None of these stories are particularly well written, but they are much more intense than you would expect of a language textbook for middle and high schoolers.

anyway, cut to my 10th grade Latin class, right as we were beginning the “political intrigue but everyone is a complete dumbass” section of the course. And one of the grammar concepts for that stage was diminutives.  As I hope I’ve already established, the storyline was completely fucking batshit insane. We were used to it. We could handle absurdity, my class could. We reveled in it. So there we were, reading about the British chieftain A who crashed the king’s dinner party with a *partially* tamed bear, in order to kill/maim/severely embarrass British chieftain B, because B had had the audacity to beat A in a boat race. In my opinion, we were taking it with relatively straight faces, all things considered.

But when British Chieftain B called A “homunculus”? 

We lost it. We completely, absolutely LOST. IT. It was one of the best moments of my life.

Anyway, my teacher is switching her freshmen onto a different textbook next year, for SOME REASON, which I frankly think is pretty swagless of her.

#also there is this historically documented dude named Gaius Salvius Liberalis #who they just turned into like. the devil incarnate. #FOR NO REASON #we don't know anything about this dude #but not a day in the textbook goes by without him trying to kill somebody it's insane #anyway #this has been #"Unnecessarily Long Tangents With iampresent #tune in next time for #Myropnous #the short king #clc #cambridge latin course

[caecilius-est-pater]

could you explain your depiction of aeneas shield, im doing it for my a levels and need more insight ( or an easier to understand version )

Oops I'm only just seeing this ask, sorry!

I assume you're referring to this picture, which I made years ago and flatteringly enough people still repost (with credit, you guys are the best!) here and there on classics tumblr:

I wish I had a cool and erudite explanation but instead I must tell you about Homestuck. It's a webcomic but it also has a comic-within-the-comic called Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

When I was revising for my Latin exams at uni, my weird little brain made the connection that Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is an example of ekphrasis, a literary device where an in-universe piece of art is described to the reader. I thought this was funny because SBAHJ is absurdist and intentionally crappy, about as far as you can get from classical and scholarly.

Since the Shield of Aeneas a) is probably the prototypical example of ekphrasis, b) features artwork of various scenes not unlike a comic and c) features the astrological signs, I was inspired. I grabbed an artist's drawing of the shield, replaced most of it with my favorite scenes from SBAHJ, and then colored in the astrological signs with their corresponding Homestuck colors because astrological signs are a big thing in Homestuck. I posted it on tumblr because I figured the minuscule number of other classicist Homestuck fans in the world might get a kick out of it, and I'm shocked but flattered that it's lasted so long.

So tldr, please forget about all of this for the sake of your A levels (unless maybe this helps you remember the definition of ekphrasis?) It was a dumb, cursed, extremely niche joke.

#this ask is fucking incredible. thank you #slash im sorry for confusing you about your a levels #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

i mean this nonoffensively, but i took one look at your name and KNEW you took Latin in high-school

No offense taken, I think that's a pretty fair assumption considering I'm named after a high school Latin textbook lmao

#caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

You are literally the reason I’m on tumblr at all (can’t remember how I found your blog but I thought it was so funny that I joined up to follow you, and things kinda snowballed from there)

So, sure, I’ll play the ask game. 11 please?

Ahhhhhhhh What No way I'm... stunned, and extremely flattered, but also maybe should apologize? oh man oh jeez

11 - A song that you never get tired of

Oh thank god, finally an easy one. Thank you anon!

27 - Fall Out Boy

Actually you know what, you get a 2 for 1 on this because while that is my answer for normal music, my musical first love is video game music, and this criminally underrated banger and I have been going strong for nearly 20 years

Regular Battle Theme - Skies of Arcadia (Legends)

#i had to break out the bocchi gifs for this one #bocchi banshee scream .gif was a little too intense for the occasion but imagine im making that noise #also i cant believe ive been playing soa for nearly 20 years jesus christ #caecilius-est-pater put a song that was written in the last decade challenge: failed #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

Number 14 is interesting- what's a song you want to play at your wedding?

So I'm not intending to ever get married, but if I did, I would want to make a playlist of nostalgic dance jams everyone knows so we could all dance the night away going nuts on the dance floor screaming the lyrics. I tried to think of the pinnacle of that type of music and had a few options (I nearly went with Mr. Brightside and Low aka Apple Bottom Jeans, if you want an idea of what I'm thinking - also, they will play Welcome to the Black Parade at my wedding, even if it kills the dance floor) but they were narrowly edged out by

Don't Stop Believing - Journey

(music ask game)

#this game has skewed *extremely* retro so far lmao #i dont even listen to THAT many classic songs (ok maybe i do but theyre not the majority) #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

Music ask game: 7, 22, 29!

7 - A song to drive to

I wasn't really sure what to put here so have a song that I associate with a very specific memory of a particular drive up a winding mountain road at night in our old truck with my dad.

It's the End of the World As We Know It - R.E.M

22 - A song that moves you forward

You guys are really giving me the hard ones, huh. What does this mean... I'm gonna be a huge cliche and go for one that hopefully needs no explanation

This Year - The Mountain Goats

29 - A song that you remember from your childhood

Whoops, guess you're getting two of these for the price of one. There are a lot of things I could answer here (my parents are very into music, but mainly listen to their same favorites over and over, so I have a lot of iconic songs of my childhood to choose from) but I gotta go with this one. My dad used to play it all the time and I really liked it when I was 4-5ish even though I didn't understand what the lyrics meant. I have such vivid memories of me and my dad singing along terribly to the chorus at the top of our lungs.

Daydream Believer - The Monkees

(music ask game)

#i hope you enjoyed this absolutely bizarre collection of songs #none of these except this year (sometimes) are ones i normally listen to #i didnt even know daydream believer was by the monkees until i looked it up on youtube just now #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

Caecilius is indeed, the father.

Rectissime!

#more like e-rectissime amirite? (crowd boos) #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

could you tag your gonachov posts with unreality please

Sure

#caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

absolute SWAGGIEST username. esne discipulus linguae latinae?

Gratias tibi ago!

(The question is if I'm a Latin student) I used to be! I picked my URL back in high school when I was studying Latin, and since then I have graduated high school and graduated college with a dual degree in Spanish & Latin. I didn't go into the field after college so I don't really do much with my Latin anymore, which is kinda sad, but I never wanted to be a classics scholar or professor or anything. I can sight read things that aren't too complicated fairly well and I'm pretty happy with that.

I'm never changing my URL though, I get messages like this about it and they make me so happy! 🥰

#i guess this is probably a useful catch up lol #ive never talked about my life too much here besides inane bullshit but it sure has been... a while #i think i was a high school freshman when i made this blog? and now im an adult several years out of college #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

YOOOO I love that shirt and that. skirt (? I don't know if that's just a sweater or something you tied around your waist but it fucks)

Thank you! I'm actually glad you brought this up because I was kinda itching to explain it, I came up with it myself and I'm so thrilled with how it came out. That is... a lolita dress!

What I did is put on a dress over jeans, tucked part of the skirt into the waistband of the pants, untied the waist bow of the dress, wrapped the waist bow ribbons once around the back and then tied them under the part of the skirt that I'd tucked into the waistband (you can see the two wide strips of black cloth hanging down), took the rest of the skirt from the part tucked into the waistband and bunched it up and pulled it through the waist bow tie to create that lumpy looking part at the hip, then put a normal belt over the waist bow ribbons and to cover up where the skirt is tucked into the pants.

Not sure how much sense it makes but this close up might help:

I was not 100% sure people weren't going to see it and go just "look at this idiot wearing a dress over jeans" so I'm very glad to hear that it didn't read like that lmao

#caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

YOU...... YOU'VE READ GIDEON THE NINTH?????? I JUST FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK AND I'M MAD CAUSE IT CANNOT JUST END LIKE THAT BUT I SWEAR THE FANDOMS SO TINY

Yesss I love the series! There's actually a pretty big Locked Tomb fandom (well, pretty big for a book fandom, obviously it's no MCU or anything) on tumblr and a ton of amazing content... though I would definitely recommend waiting to engage with it until you finish the second book. But then so much good shit awaits you.

#caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

Hi, thank you for sharing my edit with Boost Up The Thing! To answer this tag:

English is not my first language and I had no idea what the song said at that point, so I googled it and unfortunately the lyrics on Google are not accurate. Only after listening to the song a few times did I realise what it actually said! 😂

Ah I hope that didn't come across as me being mean! I haven't seen OFMD so I genuinely wasn't sure if it was an in-joke I was missing.

It's a fast and kind of obscure pun based on uncommon, specific terms ("port" in this context means to the left of the ship, but it can also mean a kind of sweet wine, and sherry is also a kind of sweet wine) so I wouldn't be surprised if even native English speakers missed that one.

(about this post)

#caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

Followed for the user name ngl see you in horto 🙏

Salve amice/a/um!

I'm glad you like my username, I hope you like *gestures at my blog* whatever this is

#messages like this are why i will never change my url :) #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

hi. this is the same anon who asked about the haikyuu fic before. i saw your answer and so i looked it up out of curiosity. only to discover. that a text file of that specific fic has also been uploaded to the educational website CourseHero. some teacher in some canadian high school is using this as fucking class materials for a New Media course. this semester. this person has uploaded EIGHT different haikyuu fanfictions. as class materials. for their New Media course. for a high school class. thats taking place right now at this moment in time. I just could not bear to be the only one aware of this information

What in the goddamn

#someone remind me to check this out later #i gotta see this #thank you anon for letting me know. im so glad to have this knowledge #caecilius respondit

[caecilius-est-pater]

hey dude can I just say that my name is also Charlotte and I also go by he/she/they and I'm in love with every single thing on your blog. I'll send my friends something and tell them it's from the alt universe version of me. anyway. hope you're good

That's wild! I'm glad you like my stuff, and maybe this sounds weird to say, but it's super cool to know that people out there are thinking of me!

Charlotte 🤝 Charlotte

#caecilius respondit