#butch in a black tank top. i can’t fucking resist

[lensiab]

NOT to gay post on main. but when she took off her sweatshirt and then was just in her binder and a black tank top….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

#AND THE TATTOOS ughhhhh i just about died. also her jeans…. she just looked So good on our last date #her arms man. jesus im gay. we’re moving slow which is good!! but also #butch in a black tank top. i can’t fucking resist

[discyours]

Depressed passing guide

I see a lot of passing guides around, and they’re great, but they usually assume you have 100% of your energy to put into passing. For those of us who have like 24 other mental illnesses that make gender dysphoria take the backseat, that’s not always realistic. So here’s some shit I’ve noticed can help you pass that doesn’t take much effort. I’m pre-t FTM so most of these tips will mainly be applicable if you are too.  Ps, you’re not required to pass in order to be “”valid””. Most of us want to and it can be important to stay safe, but remember you’re doing this for you, not the rest of the world.  General : Most pre-t guys will naturally look closest to 12-15 years old if they do pass. I know most of us hate not being treated our age but embracing this will make passing 100x easier. Match your mannerisms to those of teenage boys, and when looking for clothes/hairstyles try to match your perceived age rather than your actual age.  Clothing:  General rule for all clothes: don’t underestimate the kids’ section, and shop online if you can’t find your size. If both of those fail you, you can try to order internationally. Asian men have much smaller frames so clothes from China work great, just be careful not to order from dodgy sites. Tailors are also a good option if you can afford them.  Never get your jeans in the women’s section. They’ll be cut to accentuate your hips 99% of the time. If you can find men’s or boys’ jeans that fit your hips, straight leg is best. If you can’t, don’t sweat it you have other options. 

Sweatpants/joggers are great. They’ll go past your hips without issue because of the elastic, and if you don’t already pass nobody will look at you weird for going into the mens section to buy what’s widely recognised as very fucking comfortable clothing. Get a pair that’s looser on top and tighter on the bottom if you can, it keeps you from looking like a total slob. Stick to dark colours as they’ll slim down your hips.  For t-shirts, get something slim fit/athletic fit, and get it as close to your size as possible. Aside from your chest, your arms are the most obvious sign you’re not cis on your upper half. Getting shirts with tighter arm holes will give the illusion that you’re muscly, or at least not a total string bean. Once again, stick to dark colours. Large colour differences between your top and bottom half will draw a line across your body, making you look shorter. Graphic tees are a hit or miss. They can help conceal your chest and they fit the teenage boy look, but since they’re unisex they could end up making you look like a tomboy.    Avoid flannel, it’s associated with butch lesbians and could make people think you are one too.

Hoodies are a lifesaver. They’re easy to layer with (especially the zip-up kind) which will help conceal your chest. Rolling up the sleeves to your elbows makes them hug your arms tightly, making them look more muscular. Putting up the hood will make you look masculine, or at least hide feminine features somewhat. If you’re too small for men’s jackets, layering a zip-up hoodie with a (faux) leather jacket will look masculine and mimic the style a lot of men’s jackets have.  Binding: 

First of all, if you’re going to bind, be as safe as possible (there’s always risks, keep that in mind). 8 hours a day MAXIMUM (and maximum does not mean that that’s an allowance you need to use up every day), take it off as often as possible, and don’t ever sleep or exercise in your binder. Listen to your body, take a break when it hurts. Don’t bind with ace bandages or tape, just generally avoid homemade binders. And for the love of god, don’t get a cheap amazon/aliexpress/wish/ebay binder. If you bind unsafely, you can break your ribs, permanently deform your rib cage/collarbones, damage your soft tissues (which seriously reduces your chances of getting good top surgery results), permanently reduce your lung capacity, and just generally damage your body so much that you will never be able to bind again. Don’t be stupid.  Gc2b and underworks are the most popular and safest binder brands. Generally speaking, gc2b is better for smaller chests and underworks is better for larger chests.  There are two main styles of binders, tri-top and full tank. Tri-top does everything you need, full tank binders just add more (non-compressive) fabric to the bottom. Tri-top tends to be more comfortable as there’s no extra fabric to bunch up, but if you want your binder to be subtle if you have to change in front of people/are wearing a tight shirt, getting something that looks like a tank top is your best bet.  Gc2b binders are available in a range of colours, while underworks offers black, white and beige binders. I decided to get a binder that matched my skin colour since I could only afford one and I didn’t want it to show through any clothing. I HIGHLY regret it. Cis men do not wear skin coloured garments under their shirts. If your collar slips up in the slightest, there’s an obvious sign that you’re trans. Cis men DO wear undershirts though, so get a binder that’s the same colour as an undershirt (usually white but black works too).  Some trans men use kt tape to bind, and transtape is a product made specifically to improve upon kt tape binding. Mind you, putting tape on your skin is very fucking bad for it and you will likely get blisters, as well as risk losing skin elasticity (something that’s important to retain if you want top surgery). Only do this as a last resort if you’re in a situation where regular binders are even more unsafe or would out you, such as while traveling. Look up how to apply it properly first and remove it VERY carefully.  Hair: If you want long hair that’s your choice, and some trans men do pass with long hair. But keep in mind even square-jawed cis men will get misgendered from the back if they have long hair. If you’re not okay with regularly getting she’d, keep it short until you’re on t for a while. 

If you have yet to get your hair cut short, a barber may refuse to cut you. Some of them really do only work with men/boys and if you don’t pass, you’ll be turned away. Just go to a unisex salon, if you don’t want to out yourself then find a picture of a woman with a masculine haircut. Show them that, then get them to make it even more masculine (ask for your sideburns or “the bits on the side” squared, it makes a world of difference). You’ll be able to go to a barber for your next haircut after that.  Resist the urge to get a buzzcut. It’s very low maintenance but it makes your face shape extremely apparent, you will look feminine.  Get your hair as short as you can stand on the sides and leave some length on top. If you get the sides really short, you should only have to brave your social anxiety every two months orso to get a new cut. Style the top upwards with some product (wax, gel, whatever). Your face will look less round if you do this.  To avoid talking to your barber and possibly outing yourself, just find a picture of the haircut you want and show it to them. I’ve found barbers are far less chatty than people at unisex salons so you’ll probably be okay just not speaking.  Wash your hair as little as possible. Don’t let it get greasy, but allow it to build up some texture. Cis men’s hair is a lot rougher and less silky than cis women’s, so you want to mimic that. Throw your conditioner in the trash.  For body hair, leave it alone as much as possible. Don’t touch your eyebrows, either. Let them get bushy, don’t pluck any stray hairs. You can fill in your eyebrows to make them look thicker but I’d recommend against using makeup in any form as a trans man, it’s hard to make it look subtle and people will instantly think you’re a woman if they notice you’re wearing it.  You can shave your face if you want to, but it’s honestly a waste of time. Your skin will look softer without the peach fuzz, which is the opposite of what you want to achieve. Hair doesn’t grow back thicker after you shave it, so don’t bother doing it for that reason. Body composition: Dysphoria TW for mention of biological sex.  A lot of guides make a major point of this. Work out 5 days a week, eat as little as possible, get your body fat percentage down. One of the most popular guides there is for FTMs even suggests you get down below 20% body fat, acknowledging that that’d be an unacceptable advice for cis women but going on to say it’s okay because we aren’t cis women.  My advice on this is to do your best to shut THAT advice out. Our bodies are (unfortunately) female, they play by female rules. The notion that we can (and should!) starve and exercise our way into a male body is harmful and wrong. Having a female looking body isn’t a personal failure or a sign that you’re not working hard enough, it’s an unavoidable consequence of BEING physically female.  Building muscle helps. Lower bodyfat helps. If you’re overweight and can manage to go on a diet, go for it. If you can start working out, go for it! Just don’t sweat it if you can’t for whatever reason. I promise it’s still possible to pass.  Mannerisms

Sit with your legs open. Manspread a little. You want to be sitting in a way that would get old ladies tutting if a lady in a dress did it, but don’t go so far that you’re doing the splits.  If you want to cross your legs, do it with your ankle on your leg. Crossing your legs too tightly will crush the dick you want people to think you have.  Walk with your legs slightly apart, and try not to sway your hips. Visualise having something between your legs that you’re trying not to crush (because cis men do).  Put your hands in your pockets as much as possible. Standing with your hands in your pockets basically draws a straight line down your body, minimising the appearance of your hips. It also makes you look like a bored teenager so it’s perfect.  Don’t smile too much, especially not in pictures. If you do smile, smirk. Try to look cocky.  Cis men have stronger brow bones and eyebrows closer to their eyes. You can mimic this by frowning mildly.  There are tons of voice training techniques you can look up to get your voice to go deeper, but to be honest it’s a lot of effort. You need to actually put force behind your voice to get it to come from your chest, and god knows I’m too depressed to do that 90% of the time. I’m fond of the “never fucking speak to anyone” technique and it works out just fine.  Confidence is absolutely the most important part. If you’re showing that you’re sure of yourself and act like you being a man is the most natural, obvious thing ever, people are unlikely to doubt you. If they do doubt you, just laugh it off. Act like the notion of you being anything but male is ridiculous. I don’t even do all the things in this guide. I’m very short with wide hips and a very high pitched voice, but confidence is what consistently gets me to pass. If you’re not confident, fake it till you make it.  Feel free to add!

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