#but welcome to another moon knight analysis by allyssa

[mccn-bcys]

no but holy shit.

so i saw this post and it got me thinking.

what if his mom (that bitch) and his dad (what dick for being an enabler to wendy) starting noticing steven and jake and put him in the mental institute for a few years, maybe even going as far as to blame his DID for causing the Randall thing (even though it happened after bx they probably didn't do their research on the disorder and wendy is looking for any excuse to make marc feel worse, let's be honest).

anyways, he's there until he's like 18 and maybe he maybe he moves back home, hoping that now that times gone on maybe his mother doesn't hate him as much, maybe she's better, maybe dad finally did something about it. at this point he's probably pushed steven (and jake) back so far.

jake hated it. hated being sedated. hated being unable to protect marc and steven. hated hearing the doctors tell marc how his "other identities were just in his head." how he can't just "pretend" to be someone else to avoid dealing with issues. jake hated how they seemed to villainize jake and steven, tell marc that they were the problem. jake hated being confined to the wheelchair, strapped in, not allowed out. he hated being stuck. trapped. he was suffocating. and with marc not even really know jake was there, and with steven pushed so far back and so quiet and unresponsive (almost to the point that jake worried if he'd died somehow), jake was alone. in the dark.

so jake hated wheelchairs. he hated the sarcophagus.

steven wasn't even really aware they were there the entire time. steven would slip through every now and then but as soon as marc could tell steven was fronting, he'd take back control and pushing steven to the back. steven didn't need to experience this. steven was too kind-hearted to endure all of that. so marc kept him back, to keep him safe. steven may have been fronting during the drive but as soon as marc realized where they were, he took over.

anyways so marc moves back home, with no where else to go. and also hoping that maybe his mother doesnt hate him anymore. maybe she got better. maybe his father got her some help. he's still unaware of jake (also maybe forgot a little?) and he's still keeping steven back, unsure of how home life will be, and if his parents start asking questions, steven won't know the answers.

and much to his disappointment, his mom's still a bitch and dad is still enabling. they broke the deal, his dad broke the deal. he told marc that if he'd get help, he'd get wendy help. and he didn't. and that's when he decides.

he doesn't know where he'll go but he can't stay home and continue to put up with it. he decides to join the military bc why the hell not? it'd get him away from wendy. so he registers and gets accepted and packs his bags.

"marc, son. please come inside. she will get help." yea marcs heard that one before, he scoffs and keeps storming away.

"we will fix this." we? this wasn't a 'we' situation. marc tried helping, he tried every damn day to be good, to show how bad he felt about his brother, tried to help his mother feel better.

marc already did his part.

"you're supposed to fix this. I mean...why haven't you??"

you're her husband, she doesn't blame you, he thinks. he thinks about all the times his father promised to get her help, or defended her when she'd yell at him. he's his dad. he's supposed to protect marc, to stand up for him.

"I can't lose another son," if he was trying to comfort him or convince him, he was failing. it's like blaming him all over again. it's like saying "if you leave, ill lose another son because of you, because of a choice you made." and marc can't believe his father said those words to him.

and so marc goes through the marines. unaware of jake but it's the marines and jake has to protect the system and marc is hesitating to follow orders and take out some teenagers who have formed a small militia. sometimes steven manages to force his way to the front, leaving him confused briefly, before marc or jake is taking over.

after the whole khonshu thing, marc realizes he's being a bit unfair to steven, having taken him from away from actually living for those years in the mental institute and then during his army days and esp now. so he has days when he's not working for khonshu where he lets steven front for a little while. until he meets layla.

and god did he want to tell her and apologize. he didn't mean to fall in love with her. looking back, he thinks part of it was that he fell in love with being loved. to have another person not blame him (even if they didn't know the truth). but he couldn't keep lying to her. it wasn't fair. but he couldn't tell her. no that'd hurt her worse. so he starts distancing himself.

and then he starts noticing stevens emotions a little more. like steven is still a little conscious (whether he realizes it or not), and marc is ae to tell. steven misses london. steven really wants to visit the museum there and go check out the egyptology department, esp since stevens picked up this weird fixation on Egyptian mythology and egyptology in general that marc isn't sure where it came from. but stevens lonely, he wants a place to stay, to call home.

and marc has hardly ever been able to deny steven what he wants. so marc moves to london, finds a flat for steven (nothing too big but has room for books), even gets a job for steven at the gift shop, considering marc was shit at the tour guide audition. and he cuts a deal with khonshu. "steven needs to live his life. he won't interfere with our work as long as you leave him out of it," marc tells the moon god.

and this works for marc bc then he can not worry about layla. it makes to easier to just start living down the road, close enough that he can keep an eye on her. he sends the divorce papers. it's easier this way, he tells himself. she won't hurt as much this way.

and so steven finally gets to front for a majority of the time, he's still confused as to why he can't remember half of his life, and he doesn't remember getting a job or a flat but he wasn't complaining either. and he's not sure how the goldfish got into the tank but he loves him. someone to talk to.

and jake. jake is just watching from the sidelines. how come marc never did things like that for him? though he never complained. jake hated being alone. forgotten about. but he could still protect his boys. and that's what he'd do. made a deal with khonshu to not say anything to marc. marc didn't need to worry about another person to take care of or worry about.

and jake hates it. being on the side. not being able to help steven get a date or standup for himself. he can't tell marc to be honest to layla. to just explain to her. she'd probably understand. it reminds jake of that God awful place. kept in the back. trapped.

and when he finally gets his hands on harrow. there's a moment of joy as he just loves the idea of harrow being the one stuck. trapped. in that damn wheelchair.

and when harrows out. it looks too much like marcs all those years ago. jake can't do that again. but if he can give it one good kick. let out an ounce of his pent up aggression, like a way of reminding it that he's in charge, that he's not going to keep staying in the back seat.

#this was really long #im sorry #i didnt mean for this to get so long #i have more thoughts about this than i thought #i kind of went on a tangent #but welcome to another moon knight analysis by allyssa #i spend too much time thinking about these boys #its actually heartbreaking #moon knight #jake lockley #moon boys #marc spector #steven grant #i want to hug them