#but this js MY blog and im sick of making disclaimers for how i feel so im not going to anymore

[krispiecake]

sorry just. can i be insane a second? can i be completely honest but also batshit for a really quick second?

#im getting absolutely furious at the fact that staff are just casually having a convo like laughing and gossiping #maybe like 40ft away from me or something #while im sat her alone in the garden obviously not doing well and theyre just… having a giggle #like theyve asked me ONCE the entire fucking day if im alright its fucking insane #and yes i know things feel more intense and more targeted bc im triggered and have a pd ect ect ect #but this js MY blog and im sick of making disclaimers for how i feel so im not going to anymore #bc im sat here in the freezing cold bc if i stay in my flat im gonna try and end it #but i cant sit in the louge bc theres a meeting going on #what fucking meeting needs to be happening 10 at night #and like lets say it does #why is it not happening in their flat #you know a private place that doesnt impact anyone elses care or needs #like i know they have a living room too like its not fair theyve been using the communal lounge all day and all night for now the 4th day #in a fucking row #other people need it too #but no. bc im not as important or as pressing or as ill or as whatever as them #i have to sit alone with no support cold in the fucking garden #great im sooooo glad that everyone is being treated equally and that everyones needs are being taken into consideration 👍👍👍👍👍 #i just feel like screaming and crying and throwing shit and hurting people im so sick of referring to a fucking text book its not changing #ANYTHING like i still have to deal with it all but now its prolonged and now its worse and now i dont even get any results #im so fucking sick of all of this why cant i just be fucking normal #i dont get why i have to be stuck with this stupid pd and all my other shit bc of other ppls actions and i dont even get a fucking APOLOGY? #im so fucking exhausted and i just dont wanna do this shit anymore #update not even the crisis team gives enough of a shit to fucking pick up the stupid phone lol #its a sign i suppose