#but then my brain again goes NO that's bad passive agressive is BAD

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

ok so if i can't tell the truth about how i feel because that's mean and i can't be passive agressive then literally what is left. how do i communicate that she has hurt me and that it hurts more that she doesn't even seem to realise it without either sounding like a complete bitch or a petty bitter bitch........

#YES this is the same friend #just texted me like ''oh i'm so sorry i never let u know when i was free'' (she has had literally three months to do this) #''i've just been so busy :('' (she's been meeting up with other people constantly) #''when do you move to [REDACTED]? i've been meaning to go there so maybe it would be a shout'' #(girl u haven't been able to schedule a time to travel five minutes to see me in the past TWO YEARS!!! #as IF you're going five hours on the fucking train all the way to [REDACTED]!!!!!) #that's what i WANT to say to her #but my mind is going NO be nice #and the next step down from that is saying something like ''oh i'd love to meet up but you'd probably be busy...... #.....wouldn't want to take up any time in your packed schedule'' #but then my brain again goes NO that's bad passive agressive is BAD #but i do want her to know how she has made me feel #an added layer of complexity is that she has had bad mental health issues and can be quite fragile #which i understand (i understand) but i don't think that should mean nobody ever gets to criticise you #🧃

[glubbity-moved]

omg glub what did u do to the sag girl

oh my GOD i could literally rant about her for hours so drama storytime under the cut!

when i joined art last year as a freshman, i was extremely self concious and compared myself to other people way too much. i was trying to start fresh and reinvent myself because i was tired of being cowardly.

i was in intro to art bc that’s the only art class lowerclassmen can take, so most ppl were just in intro bc they need to get an art credit to graduate. the class had a GIANT divide between the types of people in the class and there were only like. ten kids who actually liked art and took it seriously.

so, to not be looped in with everyone else and wanting to stand out, i sat with the most Talented Artistic Girls in the class. there were three girls: one senior who was a cancer (bitch), one virgo who was actually pretty nice, and the sag girl. we immediately became the Power Table that my teacher would always come to as an example to the class! i felt so powerful and felt like i had friends for the first time in a while.

in my class, my teacher assigned us a medium to work with and a project to complete by a certain deadline. the art girls always finished before everyone else and would tease when i wanted to take my time and make something i was proud of and called me untalented because i wasn’t finishing at the same time as them. it REALLY discouraged me from doing my best and my work quality started to slip slightly as a result

the main perpetrator of the bullying came from the sag girl. she literally thought she was the Standard of the class because my art teacher always praised her for finishing and her art skills. she would send really passive agressive comments my way and erase and “Fix” parts of my art that she thought weren’t good.

the other two girls either said nothing or joined in on the harassment, the cancer girl would always try to convince me to work faster or “harder” because she thought my art sucked and i wasn’t trying hard enough

they verbally abused me enough to where i went home almost everyday and stayed up until two in the morning trying DESPERATELY to improve in my art (you can see in my blog activity from last year where i really dropped off in quality) and stopped posting art here because i was suffering from severe self doubt and HATED my art. 

i was literally so dumb for listening to them, but i couldn’t leave their table unless i wanted to be grouped in with the ppl who just wanted the art credit again. 

so i started to put out ABSOLUTELY AWFUL PIECES where i wasn’t trying at because i wanted to be “Good and Fast” at producing art instead of learning.

while all this was going on, i always talked about astrology to the cancer senior since she was kinda into it. sag girl HATES astrology and thought it was made up and an “Excuse to hate people” WHICH IT’S NOT LOL

so the cancer girl and i got on the topic of sagittarius, and i said something like “yeah all the sags i’ve met have been real jerks to me i don’t like them that much” and SAG GIRL STARED AT ME LIKE I HAD JUST CALLED HER OUT OR SOMETHING WHICH I DIDN’T?? i didn’t even say her name lol

so she gets really quiet for the whole period, which i took note of and stored away in my brain for later. i had /FINALLY/ found something to get back at her with: she’s insecure and just bullies other people to feel superior. 

so. the fateful day comes along. febuary sixth. the cancer girl and sag girl are talking about something. the period had just started. i had one of my headphones in and was listening to their conversation. 

sag girl says something REALLY mean to cancer girl and i immediately take my headphones out. cancer girl looks really hurt so i stay quiet and they finish up their conversation. 

very quietly, i put my headphones back in and turn to the cancer girl. i said something like “y’know, i love cancers. i know i’m a gemini and all, but at least i’m not a sagittarius.” (SO LAME I KNOW BUT I HAD TO THINK OF SMTH FAST) and the CANCER GIRLS EYES WIDEN LIKE SHE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT’S GOING TO GO DOWN

this whole time, i’m looking down at my paper doodling while sag girl is like “laci i thought we said no more astrology.” and the exact convo went like this:

“i know. just stating my opinion.”“laci, you’re literally making me Very mad right now Shut Up” “i hate sags they’re so m  e  a  n”

THEN SHE FUCKING THROWS HER HANDS DOWN ON THE TABLE LIKE SHE’S RESTRAINING HERSELF FROM HITTING ME AND LAUNCHES HER PENCIL ACROSS THE ROOM

THE WHOLE CLASS IS DEAD SILENT AND I DON’T EVEN MAKE EYECONTACT WITH HER.... SHE GETS UP AND LEAVES WITHOUT TAKING ANY OF HER STUFF AND SITS OUTSIDE FOR THE WHOLE PERIOD BECAUSE SHE’S SO PISSED

the cancer girl and virgo are looking at me like i’m a fucking lunatic and i LITERALLY cannot believe what i just did like. i stood up for myself and Someone else for the first time EVER and i felt so WEIRD

my art teacher walks over and is like “you think she’s gonna be okay?” and we’re just like i think so????

the next day rolls by and i go into the class where sag girl is talking to virgo and cancer. when i walked in, she looked at me and immediately grabbed her stuff and walked out the door. I WAS LIKE LOL OKAY WE’RE GONNA PLAY THIS GAME THEN

AND AFTER THAT MOMENT I WAS JUST ANOTHER PERSON LIKE... i can understand if you want to talk about our differences, but just WALKING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS IS NOT SMTH I CAN GET BEHIND 

i sit down and cancer and virgo are like “when are you going to apologize?” AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT??????? HUH???????? APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT I DEFENDED YOUR ASSES

and they got SUPER pissed at me because sag girl is their Art Queen or whatever and glared at me and LEFT TO SIT OUTSIDE W/ HER!!! i DEFENDED THEM AND THEY LICHERALLY BETRAYED ME LIKE OKAY LOL?????

so i sit there Alone for the whole period and everyone’s staring at me like i’m a jackass but i KNOW i’m not!!

the next day, my scorpio friend comes to the art room to help me out with a project and sag girl happens to be outside and my friend overhears her making up lies about me “”””HARRASSING”””” HER??? AND MY ANGEL SCORPIO FRIEND IS LIKE “HEY DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE LACI IS” and sag girl SHUTS UP IMMEDIATELY BC SHE KNOWS SHE’S BEEN CAUGHT 

SO MY SCORPIO FRIEND TELLS ME WHAT HAPPENED AND I’M LIKE OHHOHOOHO BITCH NOW I HAVE A WITNESS SHE’S DEAD!! and eventually my friend goes back to class and when she does, some kid comes in and is like “sag girl is crying outside”

AND I FELT BAD FOR A SECOND BUT THEN IT ALL CLICKED: SHE’S JUST CRYING BC SHE KNOWS SHE’S BEEN CAUGHT. SHE KNOWS I HAVE EVIDENCE AGAINST HER AND SHE’S PUTTING ON THE WATERWORKS

SO MY ART TEACHER TAKES ME OUTSIDE TO GO AND TALK IT OUT AND SAG GIRL IS SITTING ACROSS FROM ME LITERALLY MURDERING ME WITH HER EYES SHE’S SO PISSED

my art teacher was like “okay guys. let’s talk about this. sag girl, what do you have to say to laci?” and sag girl starts saying how i Hate her for “””no reason””” and starts cussing at me and bursts into tears again 

AND KEEP IN MIND I HAVEN’T SAID A THING YET I’VE JUST SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO HER TALK FOR TEN SECONDS

SO MY ART TEACHER IS LIKE “fuck okay uhhh go to the counselor since you can’t be mature” AND I SWEAR I ALMOST MARRIED MY ART TEACHER SHE’S SUCH AN ANGEL

my art teacher escorted sag to the counselor and took me aside and was like “you don’t have to go with her, i believe in you fully and you’re not in trouble”  AND I SWEARRR I HAVE NEVER FELT SO POWERFUL

from that day on, i vowed to always do my best on every single project i get in her class and not compare myself. my work drastically improved and my art was getting better! 

now, i wasn’t done with sag girl. the official word the counselor had given to her was a “hands-off” policy, which means she can’t interact with me and i can’t interact with her for the rest of the year.

so. because i hadn’t fully enacted my revenge yet, i decided to go for the psychological tactic and indirectly get back at her

i overheard her badmouthing her counselor bc she wouldn’t let her into the advanced math class bc she didn’t meet the requirements. she was saying some REALLY NASTY STUFF ABOUT MURDERING HER AND STUFF...... so i recorded it secretly (i still have the vid on sc) and sent it to her counselor lol 

she got placed in the standard math class and her counselor isn’t a fan of her anymore now!

i feel like she KNOWS i got her placed in a lower math class bc she looks so scared and mad everytime we make eyecontact so!

don’t mess w/ gemini girls we never forget and WILL get what we deserve. the end.

#it was spicy i love this song!!!!!!!!! #anon