#but then i was thinking about how if i wanted to buy it now i'd probs buy it for myself since i'm working full time

[respectthepetty]

Dunk and Joong could have offered me anything in 2024, and I would have taken it, gladly, no questions because my ass is a Jaidee fan first and a human second. But to hand me The Heart Killers? Oh! Let me list all the reasons y'all gonna hate me when this comes out.

Joong plays Khao's older brother

Khaotung is older than Joong, but in BL Land that doesn't matter because Khao is playing the hopeless romantic little brother while Joong is playing his stern older brother. Someone already wrote it was 10 Things I Hate About You/The Taming of the Shrew, and Shakespeare would be thrilled to know one of his masterpieces is getting the queer treatment and it's not Twelfth Night.

Dunk is playing the crazy seducer

Boy wants a car and is willing to go to great lengths to do it, including distracting some dude, so his buddy can play house with that dude's little brother. But the whole point is they had to find a guy who was crazy enough to accept the offer in the first place >insert Dunk's character< so the guy isn't just wanting the car. He is doing this for the thrill of getting tied up, stripped down, and threatened.

And I respect that.

Jojo is apparently directing

I wanna have beef with Jojo after Only Friends, then I look at his resume and remember this is the man who gave me puppy play in The Warp Effect, poly in 3 Will Be Free, and a chaotic stripper named Judo in Dirty Laundry PLUS the YinWar trailer for their Partner in Crime concert which has now lead to YinWar doing Jack & Joker, so as a vegetarian, I'm gonna be like Elsa and let that go.

Which means Rath is probably the cinematographer

I don't give men compliments easily, so when I state that Cinematographer Rath has never disappointed me, I mean it. The man knows what he is doing, and if he is in on this series, I know if anything, it will be visually stunning.

First and Khao being the Beyonce of GMMTV

I'm in Jaidee's corner always, but I have eyes and First and Khao could really do whatever they want and I'd eat it up. I have believed them with whomever they have been partnered with in the past, and if they want to play high schoolers in an oppressed school system or a banker willing to see his ex and his ex's new man just to flirt with the boy from the market, I'm buying the tickets, I'm sitting in the front row, and I'm holding up homemade posters. Basically, I'm shutting the fuck up and experiencing whatever they want me to experience.

First and Khao tears

This is its own category because when they cry, they are in a league of their own. They claimed this series was going to be lighter than their previous work, but what is a First or Khao series without tears? I hope they are drinking water right now because someone is crying in this series, and JD's faces are already wet for other reasons.

DUNK'S BODY!

Not to objectify the man's body, but . . . it's a banger, and he has been done dirty by wardrobe for two solid years. His face card never declines. His arms are solid. His waist is snatched. His hair is perfect. Even Tay, New, and Jan were talking about him in the BTS for Peaceful Property because they were saying how New's character was based off of Dunk - pretty, fashionable, and COCKY! But wouldn't we all be that cocky if we were walking around looking like this?! Like shut up fives. A ten is speaking!

It's high time that man got to stunt like Force always does just taking off his shirt for no reason. Good for him. And good for us.

Oh, yeah, and the plot

Sorry, I mean the plot.

SHIT, THE PLOT!

You know what? Nah. I honestly do not give a fuck about the plot. Joong and Khao are hired killers. First is out to get them. Dunk gets involved (although, I think he knows a lot more than he leads on), and . . .

All will end well.

Because if anything, Jojo ain't never been allergic to a happy ending *wink*

So just know this show hit its target audience

ME!

¡Salud!

#the heart killers #gmmtv 2024 #joongdunk #firstkhao #this was meant for me! #rath and jojo save me! #give me chaos and visuals #I'll take whatever you give me #I'm still gotta talk smack about everything else #but I'll be quieter about it

[arsonist-chicken]

Can I get a neurotypical brain? Can I PLEASE get a neurotypical brain?

#i have. three papers. two due monday and one tuesday. #i have only just now started on the most urgent one #i originally planned to take the 2h train ride to uni and deliver it there but. i think i'll just take it to the post office tomorrow for #express delivery and call it a day and have it be there a day late. she's nice anyway. #and ask a colleague there to print out and deliver the other one on tuesday and buy her a bunch of chocolate #but i want to cry. i've had weeks and months to do this shit so naturally. i didn't do shit. #the paper now is about my future as a translator/job future and it makes me want to cry #and i need so much and it's past midnight and i'm so tired but it needs to be at the post office before noon #okay i'll not start rambling now about my shite job perspectives and depression and non-functioning brain #but i am going to put in a lil paragraph about how i'd like to be self-employed maybe but never will actually do that cause yk. #untreated adhd. i'd be bankrupt before I'd even start #okay I'll get something for my headache and then I'll get back to it #okay bye good night whatever bye bye #mine #upset vent noises #don't mind me sometimes you just need to vent a lil because you're tired and overwhelmed and depressed #and for the paper due tuesday idek wtf that shit is about #i someone has tips or advice please lmk

[frecklystars]

ken is the type of boyfriend to want to surprise me with my favorite pastry (donuts) to cheer me up but doesn't know which one i'd want the most so he just gets all of them. comes home with 15 dozen boxes. we end up having to share them with the entirety of barbieland or else they'll go bad (hey, if plastic milk can expire, so can plastic donuts)!

driver brings home apple pie bc he assumes it's my favorite. it's not. well, apple is my favorite pie flavor, but pie itself is not my favorite pastry.

...but i would never tell him that, bc i love our routine of eating apple pie together at our favorite diner at two in the morning and i'd be sad if that ever stopped. sure, we could get donuts at 2am, but it wouldn't be the same. the fact that he'd go out of his way to drive us to a diner and sit us down and drape his jacket over my shoulders while sharing a slice of pie with me -- i dunno. it's nice.

#if the ice cream at the beach is free im assuming the donuts would be too #you think Tall Ken paid for his own ice cream when he bought himself and Beach Ken ice creams? please. #Kens have no money they have no car they have no job they have no house they have no crotch they have NOTHING #except my unconditional love and support 24/7 #if ken ever has to buy anything he's on his knees begging barbie 'PLEASE BARBIE WILL YOU BUY DONUTS FOR OUR SWEET GIRL???' #but he'll say her name like Ryan did when he was running toward her at the bus stop -- #BARBAY!!! BARBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! ...y'know like that. #god i need to watch the movie again #i watched it last night but i need it AGAIN #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́- #💕♬♪ ♡ I do nothing but think of you - ̗̀💙🔨 ̖́- #every time driver says 'i got you pie... it's your favorite :)' im like uh huh :) #looking him right into those ocean blues and lying. yes it's my favorite. how'd u know babe?? #if i ever told him i'd prefer donuts or cake he would change the routine surely #but where's the fun in that when i look at apple pie with so much fondness now #just like i used to not care for skittles but now i like to eat them every now and then #because Six eats skittles and Ryan talked about how Six would eat skittles in the field #i love associating food with F/Os i love them urging me to eat and to eat well #i'll be laying in bed feeling awful and then i'll think... 'barbie would want me to eat' so it makes me get up #hey whatever works right!! #woof

[starpros-sunshine]

Thinking about that post I made once about younger Wataru spending his allowance on cinema tickets,,,,,

#he woulddddd #and he should too #coming home to tell his parents about the movies he watched #spending his allowance on cinema tickets and rental store stuff #When he mentioned the movie rental store and Eichi immediately went ''!! do you?? do you want me to buy one for you?? because I can do that! #I'd be delighted to how about I buy you your own rental establishment??'' excuse the hyperbole I just think it's funny #he is such an old hollywood enjoyer to me #i hope he's seen some like it hot #i really do #I'm such an idiot why did I buy that ticket now I have to organise transport too #damn my impulse control #or rather the lack thereof

[blackcatanna]

I remember being excited when Fire Emblem Awakening came out back in 2012 because, although I couldn't afford it and knew I wouldn't be able to for a while, I thought that the price would go down eventually and I had loved Radiant Dawn so much (after picking it up second hand at a game store) that I didn't mind waiting. FLASH FORWARD OVER TEN BLOODY YEARS AND THE PRICE STILL HASN'T DROPPED AND ALL THE OTHER GAMES ARE ALSO ABSURDLY EXPENSIVE (not that I even have a Switch, just my beloved 3DS). SIGH. At least I still have my Wii and copy of Radiant Dawn for when I need to get my Fire Emblem fix... I CERTAINLY CAN NEVER PLAY THE FIRST PART OF THE STORY (Path of Radiance) LEGITIMATELY THOUGH BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOW SELLING IT FOR £200 ON EBAY X_X Good for them, I guess XD Maybe it's time to finally try making an emulator work...

#complaining about the price of games these days #BACK IN MY DAY YOU COULD JUST GO TO A STORE AND RUMMAGE THROUGH A BARGAIN BIN TO PICK A GAME BASED ON HOW EDGY AND ANIME THE CHARACTERS LOO #this is why the last nintendo console I bought was my 3DS #I have wanted a Switch for ages but the games are so expensive X_X #and I still have other games calling out to me on other devices... #Fire Emblem hits differently though #Playing Baldur's Gate 3 made me want to play Radiant Dawn again #IT BREAKS MY HEART EVERY TIME SOMEONE DIES BECAUSE OF MY TACTICAL CHOICES AND I LOVE IT #IT HURTS SO GOOD #I play very conservatively XD #I appreciate what BG3 did so much but now after 200 hours of that I hunger for SQUAAAAAARES! #(and the threat of permadeath) #Maybe my friend will let me play Three Houses on her Sweetch (that's how I pronounce Switch because I think it's cuter) #But I play shit SLOWLY XD and obsessively so I'd feel bad going to someone's house to do it #WHEN I AM RICH I SHALL BUY A SWITCH AND PLAY MORE FE GAMES AND ALSO THE ONES ON 3DS #But for now I am very poor XD #Omg just looked on eBay and someone's selling Path of Radiance for £2000! Wtf XD #OMFG I FORGOT THEY MADE A FIRE EMBLEM WARRIORS GAME (as in DYNASTY WARRIORS STYLE) XD WHYYYYY? #HNNNNG MAYBE I WILL BUY AWAKENING FOR MY BIRTHDAY #I COULD BUY A DODGY LOOSE CARTRIDGE WITH GERMAN WRITING ON IT FROM EBAY FOR £10 BUT THEN I WILL SPEND THE WHOLE PLAYTHROUGH STRESSING #AND BLAMING MYSELF FOR BEING CHEAP IF ANYTHING IS BUGGY OR CORRUPTED #Gonna make sure my 3DS is still working properly first though... #It's been a while #I mostly only boot it up these days when I get a Samurai Warriors urge... #It's in my apartment somewhere (I haven't used it since I moved over a year ago)... #(my Wii is still at my Mum's house down South so I will have to wait until the end of October to play Radiant Dawn again #but my brother says he has no interest in our consoles except the PS4 so I will probably take it back to my lair after that 3:) #It can be reunited with the PS2 and my DS Lite and 3DS! #THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD 4AM RAMBLE #talking to myself and making IMPORTANT GAME DECISIONS

[victorluvsalice]

-->And with that, it was finally off to Van Liddelton Groceries once more! Alice got to open the place up this time, though first, I had her set the prices to “Sale” (aka 15% markup) down from the regular 25% markup. Why? Because they DO NOT need the money, and I wanted to see if stuff would sell faster if it was a little cheaper. She then got sent to have some zoomies to deal with her slowly-growing Fury (no wolfing out at work!) while Victor bunked down for a nap in the break room and Smiler went out to handle the sales floor (after consulting their future cube for advice, since I wanted them to do something while waiting for customers – “the cube abides,” apparently)! Amusingly, the very first Sim to show up for the day was L. Faba – guess she was tired of Morgyn getting all the attention whenever the gang visited the Magic Realm. XD (Which reminds me, I really gotta bind Victor’s dragon familiar to him already...) Anyway, after a bit of lag, Smiler was able to let off one of their patented vampiric happiness bursts for the incoming customers and chat with Catarina Lynx for a bit to try and convince her to buy stuff –

-->And then Alice came back, and I decided that I wanted her to make some more food downstairs rather than force her to chat with customers. A decision that led to me transferring $40,000 of their household funds over to the store so I could upgrade the downstairs kitchen area with the best Schmapple fridges and ovens, and add a counter by the corner so I could put in a stand mixer, a waffle iron, and a pizza oven! All in the blue swatches, since I thought those looked nice. :) I then had Alice use the bulk food processors from Simsonian Library to process some potato flour so she could whip up a batch of dough –

-->Aaand suddenly EVERYONE WAS BUYING SHIT. Yeah, apparently cheaper prices DO encourage more sales. I quickly had Alice run up there to help Smiler with the initial rush (since Victor was still working on taking care of his needs) – Catarina picked up a loaf of cheesy bread for $71; Christen a jar of blueberry jam for $80; and Janae a small mushroom for $5. We got a brief break while some of the customers got distracted by the sight of celebrity Brytani Cho in the store (long enough for Victor to get up and go to the bathroom), but after that and another annoying case of lag, the sales started coming again, with Bella Goth grabbing a box of dried sage for $413, and L. Faba getting a box of cheese for $621. I took a moment to check downstairs and saw that Alice’s dough was ready, so I had her go downstairs and grab that –

Aaand got an LE as she did so. However, that was shortly followed by customer Olivia grabbing an avocado from the produce fridges/warming racks, so I think the LE was actually related to that – specifically, to my Brazen Lotus stuff. Meh. At least I'm pretty sure I know what it is (the game doesn’t have a proper animation to play if a Sim is getting a normally-not-allowed-in-produce-fridges item out of a produce fridge, so it goes “hey”) and that it’s not TOO game-breaking!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #yeah I'd been meaning to lower their prices for a while now #as stated they do NOT need the money #and I want to get this place emptied so I can rethink what I want to sell and how I want to sell it #thinking of going toward a more 'prepared foods' model #we will see #in the meantime you can see things remain pretty busy on the lot #good thing Smiler loves socializing :p #and Victor and Alice can tolerate it :p #and I liked upgrading the processing area downstairs with the new small appliances #looks a little more professional now #Alice seems to enjoy using everything #though now I'm thinking we should have more than one of each appliance #so we could have multiple items getting cooked at once #I mean I have two ovens and two fridges already #things to ponder as we move forward! #and yeah that LE really does seem to be related to people trying to buy things out of the produce fridge #that normally wouldn't go in a produce fridge #and since I have a mod from Brazen Lotus that allows you to put things in the produce fridge that normally don't go there #not gonna worry about it for now but #it is a factor in me considering redoing the store a bit #we'll see what happens! #queued

[magnusbae]

I confess, I am... kinda excited ; w ;

#sometimes i feel like all i do is just work and survive #once in a while get myself a takeout #i work so much and what for #i never buy anything it's so depressing to think about #since bookdepository closed even my occasional 'buy a book i'd never read' shenanigans stopped #i was lately contemplating buying a new pc‚ and while that's undoubtedly a treat‚ it does fall within my very strict: #'a useful electronic' category of allowed expenses #like i was wondering between ps5 / pc but again those are planned for for years now‚ and hardly can be called 'indulgence' given how #one is for work and the other is years overdue since i was waiting for it to be less expensive.. #ah‚ i babble 🙈 #i did decided i will not share this irl though #i figure‚ i want it to be my private little positive treat #without the unnecessary opinions about how a 'book is not worth that much' #i mean i agree but did you see the book #it's the sexiest book i've ever seen in my life #i am not sure if i'll go ahead and get oathbringer in a few years #but wok-wor are literally the two books i love the most #my most beloved #my light in the dark #-coughs- ok ok. #yeah. #this is the most you heard me babble here in a while -laughs- #i've had a rather rough few weeks and has not been present the way i wanted to be-- those i have not yet answered to-- i will-- soon. #buns.txt

[spook-e-snail]

Ramblings in tags

#do you ever just get like??? paralyzed by how many things you COULD do??? #like hi i have a job that shouldn't fuck with my disability too much #so now i can actually have a little bit of extra money at the end of the month to have fun with instead of only paying bills #i genuinely don't think I've had anything extra for like??? months??? #like there's so much I wanna get and even though I haven't gotten paid yet it's just. killing me #like i wanna get a dog to hopefully train to be a service dog right?? #but i also wanna get an actual drawing tablet so I don't have to only draw on my phone #BUT ALSO i need shit like a new binder since my current binders are 4+ years old #but yet again i wanna upgrade my room a bit and get some posters and some new blankets #again I just!! don't fucking know what to do first!! #this isn't a vent or anything im just like. stuck. mentally #theres just so much shit to do and buy #like i wanted to buy a new videogame a few weeks ago but I ended up needing to pay a bit extra in bills #OUUUUGHGHHH #there is. so much. to do #and i know i already said I'd spend the money on going on that trip #but thats really far off so i don't have to pay for that stuff first #plus i also genuinely need to think about if i wanna go or not

[medicinemane]

I get very tired of dealing with people who are so busy being "practical" that they're just totally prescriptive

I tend to be, I think, a fairly pragmatic person. Like most years I spend about... maybe $50 on myself for the whole year (this year is going to be a bit higher, but there's also specific utility to what I'm spending it on). I tend to not bother buying myself snacks, cause I know I'm mostly hungry, and if I'm hungry real food is a better deal (I sadly tend to fail to get ahold of the real food either)

My point is that I tend to be very goal oriented (not in a ladder climbing way, in a I set goals and then work towards them kinda way), I tend to be very focused on what will push my situations into being sustainable, I tend to look for high efficiency, low cost, long term solutions

I was... I was talking to that friend I'll say is Dr Jekyll and Mr Dumbass (I was more trying to talk to my dad, but they were both there). It was definitely Mr Dumbass today

For one thing, he was already saying a bunch of really fucking dumb shit where... it's so stupid I'm not even going to repeat it, where it's like the answer for why we don't do that is because it's obviously a moronically stupid idea on top of being immoral, and also totally ineffective you dipshit

So I already wasn't in the mood for him

Then, while talking about visiting my grandma, I mention how in order to start cooking I need sharp knives, none of my knives are sharp (cause my mom's a fool and dulls them all), and how it would really help if I could just take a knife from my grandma since she doesn't cook anymore and just... keep it as my personal knife that I keep sharp

(I can't do this, cause my grandma is... bug fuck crazy, and legit believes that if you gift someone a knife they'll kill people with it which like... where do you even get that idea, like she has literally said before that she'd give money to buy a knife but wouldn't give one as a gift... what?)

Anyway, Mr Dumbass starts going on about how I can just buy a new knife, and it's like no... in your quest for objective practicality you've lost all pragmatism

I don't need to buy a new knife, I need to learn to sharpen knives which... which I just have a bit of a block on cause I've had trouble figuring out how to sharpen stuff so far (I've come to suspect that which of the hard and soft stones you use first and second isn't intuitive and I've been trying to hone with the sharpening stone and sharpen with the honing stone)

Like... to get mean for just a slight moment, shut your fool mouth, you've got more money than I've ever even touched, and while you were poor at one point when you were younger you've clearly forgot, and not everyone can just buy stuff

Also you're saying a bunch of dumb shit tonight with such confidence and it's pissed me off

He's capable of being a very very smart and compassionate person, and then other times he's a damn fool, and far too often he... he talks about practicality without actually understanding how to be practical

Being practical requires working in the confines of reality

...I don't know, I don't think I have all the words I need to explain what I'm saying, but the point is he's annoyed me and people who act like him annoy me where it's like... nothing matters in the end other than if you actually solve something

You can talk all day about what someone "should do", but what matters is what they will do

So it gets frustrating talking with my family with him cause he has all this ideas where it's like... that functionally won't work, and like some of his great ideas are how I can just wait for my grandma to die and get the knife then and it's like... yeah... but I need a knife now dummy, and I have knives, and which is more useful?

Dropping a pretty penny on a new knife, or finishing learning a skill I really fucking need badly and that makes it so I can sharpen things for next to free forever?

...I'm just tired of having to do everything myself and getting no help, that's all. How about you shut your fucking mouth, stop trying to offer advice that's worse than my plans I'm already slowly turning the gears on making happen, and just let me bitch about my idiot relatives?

Laughing at this fool antics when he chooses to do that, legitimately is more helpful than any attempts to help

#last two paragraphs are things that sadly a lot of people could learn #sometimes you need to shut your mouth and just listen #and this is why I have my no advice without action policy #if the rolls were reversed; I'm not willing to suggest someone buy a knife unless I'm willing to pay for it #most I'll ever do is something like say 'Just wondering if this is something you've already tried' #like know someone who go hacked here; and I just asked if they're running two factor authentication now cause if not it might help #like that's the outside amount of advice I'm willing to offer without action #because it acknowledges that they may have already thought of it; and it more just tries to float an option than it does suggest shit #honestly... I think I'd be less annoyed if it was like 'what about buying a new knife?; rather than 'you should buy a new knife' #advice in the form of a question makes for a dialogue rather than dictation #lets the other person just explain why something won't work if they've already considered it #like in this case... money; way rather just sharpen shit and get to spend money on food instead of a knife #like... this is the crux of what I complain about with my grandma; that groceries are my number one desire with money #are you my grandma? suggesting that I just flippantly spend money once it becomes something you'd want to spend it on? #...and the answer honestly is that yeah that's usually how people are #they can laugh off wasting money on shitty over priced clothes; but when it's what they like spending on that's what everyone should do #...maybe I fail at it; but I try not to do that #try to just be a back up to people and support them in whatever matters to them #and once again; only offer advice when I'm actually willing to do something like drop the money on getting them the thing I think they need #eh... I don't want to share the other dumb shit he was saying cause... dear god #edgy stoned dipshit talk; you know? #framed as actionable policy #good guy; helped me move shit up (I mostly needed a driver) but... utter fucking ass too much of the time #there's reasons we're not closer

[unproduciblesmackdown]

tbt the deh days baking motif interviews like it's time for will roland cooking v'logs while someone is there to pepper in q&a moments & conversation (&/or extended tangents) starters

#or difficult to say how general/extensive his cooking knowledge is but like 4 pts of evidence abt his Meat Heat technique nowadays #and joel crump's bwaytime interview where he builds a little dish spontaneously....tell us more #(he'd slice quarter inch strips of spam & saute them; have on a nicely crusted bread; add a sweet jam; maybe pickled/fermented onions) #maybe there's been an occasion between 2017/18 & now to learn/practice/hone a skill at home....maybe #tragically one Montage where he's sharing his bacon recipe instead cuts the clips around michael park's bacon recipe lmao #like ok noted 350F in an oven for 25min but will introduced the topic & is talking abt fresh cuts & presumed stoveTop cooking. please lol #summer stock grillmaster....& i think another occasion he mentioned his Skills here #also shoutout to that deh Movie baking virtual interview where nik dodani left in the middle to buy some butter #will roland #whatever will talks abt: a banger occasion. cherished deh nhie video where so little is about deh lmao #bits in either deh baking video like little abt deh b/c there was so little they could tell + Character Questions just generally so rare #the [having a bit of room & start sharing hc's for details of jellicle cats' sexuality] gift that we need more of fr keeps on giving #the classic cats tangents of anytime prior. appreciating the summer stock dancing going off like ah #just like will saying he was just fuming about Tepid Applause in the Big Theater for cats elaborate costumed mega dance break. word #talk about dry technical whatever like hell yes engaging & i love information. pool chlorination. what of the lighting knowhow #& the realest point here is oh boy keep scattering scraps of culinary knowledge in whatever random little moments; epic. jot that down #edit that i was like ''did i say sautee; that seems unnecessary. he probably said seared'' & indeed he said sear it on both sides #sounds great i'd want this spam bread jam pickled fermented onions situation. & the bacon of the unheard recipe

[ghostprinceiii]

Okay it's 4am so this is gonna be kinda sappy or whatever but So Much of what I read involves romance (and I read,,, So Much in general) that I've kinda become desensitized? to it? or something? Idk I've gotten really used to it and I can appreciate it in writing from like a narrative standpoint or whatever, but then occasionally I'll come across a story about an aromantic/aroace character and I just have one of those "oh" moments, y'know? where I'm reminded that I can be happy too. I could have the kind of meaningful relationships these characters have and I don't have to force myself into a romantic relationship to have that. Like, that's genuinely an option and it's so good. Cuz, like, I knew that, but until you see an example of it and you can kindof picture yourself like that more clearly you don't really know it.

#In fiction in particular the character being aromantic really drives home the point of having really strong and close friendships (separate #from queerplatonic relationships) cuz like you *know* that its distinctly platonic. They're aromantic so there's a guarantee that it's not #being written that way to lead into romance or have romantic undertones that just aren't explicitly stated or expanded on. Which is very #good and comfortable for me. There's also just the whole 'this character is Like Me' thing which is nice. #ghostprince posts #idk I was doing art earlier involving the aroace flag and thinking about moving up my next doctor's appointment to talk about top surgery #and just generally being kinda introspective. And now it's 4am and I'm reading a fanfic about an aromantic character and his friends during #valentines day and how they're showing affection all-the-same with no expectations or strings attached #and like 'oooo cringe fanfiction' or whatever but something I've been tryna work on is acknowledging that my interests are genuine and #aren't something I need to be embarrassed about and I should allow myself to be expressive about what brings me joy or something. #Mostly this involves explaining Minecraft mechanics and the OBS Studio settings menu to my dad. But it's progress. I dont think I can go #about it in the same way as my brother but I'd like to start working towards being a more genuine and happy person if I can? I've still got #all of ths mental illness and physical ailments and everything so my efforts may not work out if I can even work up the energy to try #but I'm atleast starting to *want* to try being me and being happy for once. Idk I just think that'd be nice. #I also want to buy a custom-made cowboy hat. #DNRB #not a vent but still a personal post so no reblogging please

[neverendingford]

.

#the more I experience being a woman and\or seeing myself in the context the more certain I am that genderqueer really is my preferred spot #like. idk. i don't want to get slotted into what someone thinks a woman is either. #i prefer being stereotyped as a woman. at least so far. f stereotypes are preferably to m stereotypes. #but i don't really want that either. i think if I'd been born a cis woman I'd be closer to my ideal self. but still not perfectly there #i get the memes about playing 4d gender chess. that really is how it goes #like. i don't want to hide the male parts of me that i like. i want to be able to drop my voice without people deciding I'm now a man. #i want to wear shorts with hairy legs and tank tops with hairy pits and sneeze loud and deep and cataclysmic #and the trickiest part is that i want to be perceived in that way. i don't want to be seen as some he/she. some amalgamation of two things #I'm not a combination of female and male made into some stitched together creature. that's just the only lense people get taught for gender #idk. people smarter than me have written books and made videos and done seminars on this. I'm not treading new ground #but i did finally buy some octopus clips which has given me more joy. I've loved them since i was a kid #and now i have the hair and the freedom to use them. euphoria so much euphoria. gods I'm so cool

[astrxealis]

never gonna stream playing nier replicant/automata bcs i Sing

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #funny that whenever i sing knowing i have an audience and it's not. required to be serious #i start singing purposely off-tune (i'm shy) #this post is uhh /lh i think. or whatever. hm #i love replicant's music so MUCH!!!!! #i will likely not stream nier in general tho tbh i want to do it just by myself? #only ever going to stream multiplayer stuff from now on tbh... it was fun w p5r but there was also smth i didn't like about it #okay ds3 tho and bloodborne. please await me streaming those. have fun laughing at me sobs #i'm not a bad gamer but i'm just scared when it comes to games like them okay <//3 #i havent streamed in a long time mostly bcs i want to make my layout and stuff pretty but i play on ps4! #so i'm thinking i'll ask friends for an ethernet cable ?? or maybe i'll buy that video capture card thingy #but also if i need to spend money then i'd rather not bcs there's other stuff i can do anyway (i don't like using money ^^) #i mean i would i think bcs there's a lot of stuff i want but also nah ?? ty to my school and parents but also #growing up like this kinda fucked me up bcs idk at all how to manage money. and my parents don't want to tell me wnvr i ask :(( #HI okay i will actually fr go to sleep now!!

[earlyspringtranscendence]

i wish betting on wrestling was like a thing because while i would never win if i bet on anything else (am bad at recognising patterns that actually mean anything) i would cash in soooooo much because i can ALWAYS tell when a jericho feud’s gonna run way too long again 😌

#hello hi . im stressed out this fair sunday evening #feel like im failing at school already its been like a month and yet #one of my teachers v much implied i'd fail her assignment if i didnt do a bunch of extra shit and like #theres reasons for it that i can see from her side but theres also just the issue that i told her about of like #i just dont know how to work with that many materials and slash or i cant go out and buy all these things right now #and then she's like well go down to xyz and ask them to do it for you and its like honey i dont know why you think we've got such a like #mutually beneficial relationship going on between all the applied and fine arts in this school like #thats a fiction that lives in your head ... especially after we just didn't exist in this school for a whole year #and anyway. i went ahead and tried some different materials and its just like. you cant make up what an insane failure thats been #and its not that i didnt try my best its just that like idk what she wants from me #cause anyway theres a reason i picked the materials that i did the first time round #changing those just kinda changes the meaning of the thing in general... which is something SHE teaches us #anyway. and tomorrow i have class w someone who i'm Difficult with (as in like i have a hard time around her im not purposefully difficult) #(its just that she makes me feel that way cause of the 'tism and cause of the fact she thinks she knows how to handle the 'tism) #(she doesnt) #and again i did a lot of work for her im just sure she's gonna expect me to have done more #but in my defense. i need to go to the doctor and see if they can prescribe me some form of ritalin bc my exhaustion was so bad last wk #and has been bad for a hot second lately #and theres really only so much i can do with the spoons at hand #anyway. and im also Sad Right Now because ive been ignored and interrupted while saying things a little too frequently recently #and im not laughing. im having a Time. #i didnt even have that bad of a week all things considered but goddd i need a break

[lynxgirlpaws]

I spent quite literally one [1] hour with my father and now feel like absolute shit. Unironically how does he do this [i am impressed]

#AvieRant #now mind you i am writing this from “weh weh weh huff puff” attitude so it is probably biased like a motherfucker #but whatever i'll feel bad for it later #so before we even get anywhere [walgreens] I talk about how someone on the discord got a full ride to yale and he goes on his #“You think you don't have to do things if you don't want to...” speech yada yada yada shut up please you're the reason why #I couldn't apply to college because you fucking refused to help me get my immunization records until like august [too late] #anyways I show concern for him as he says his ankle has been hurting especially on the EXTRA LONG WALK he CHOSE to take #and he fucking. slaps my stomach and says “yeah well I ain't got a pussy so I ain't a bitch” #i. are you fucking kidding me . one - don't touch me . two - fuck you. three - don't fucking touch me #then we GET to walgreens and he makes sure to inform me how stupid I am for... looking at the price of things before buying them #and actively gives me a side eye or sucks his teeth when I suggest making decisions based off of cost [idgaf if you have cash be smart >:(] #anyways he also just basically decides shit for me. I asked for one [1] thing and he informed me that I simply don't need it #before promptly ignoring any even suggestions of me getting something I'd actually want other than what he soyjaks at #so anyways as we go to pay ? fucker demands I go wait outside while he pays . for no reason. just. fuck me ig okay #anyways we seem to FINALLY be getting my phone turned on on the way home!!!! like we're AT T-Mobile! #then he has to wait 5 minutes and decides we'll just do it tomorrow. like he's been saying for 11 months #then basically tells me to go home alone while I carry everything bc he wants to go somewhere #like . fuck you fuck off i am tired of your bullshit #ugh . i. like again. can't ocmplain. free food and housing and what not. but do you HAVE to be a dick whenever you can? >:/ #whatever i'm gonna go cope somehow see y'all around

[slippery-minghus]

i know that i hardly slept last night has a lot to do with it but ugh it's only monday and i'm already too exhausted to work :(

#this weekend was so draining #at least in *checks calendar* two weeks i get a 4 day weekend followed by a 3 day weekend #narrating my life #my 3rd day off this week is monday so i can go to electrolysis and fuuuuck i don't wanna go #i have to give 24hrs notice so i still have a little time to decide #i havent canceled one yet (been going since spring) bc i know i Need To Go #but thinking about it right now and how badly i want to go home but cant bc i need to save my pto.......... maybe i should cancel wednesday #give myself just a bit of reprieve #and i know i have more coming up soon so it's not like i'm scrambling to get in #(plus it'll save me $150 after i just had to buy a new xbox) #weighing Get Electrolysis Done vs Take Some Time To Rest and i think rest is a bit more pertinent and time sensitive #if the appt was in the morning i'd be okay #but it's not until 3 and it's 2hrs so that's literally my whole day #can't relax before and will be late by the time i get home #fuck it i'm gonna cancel it #just this once i'm not gonna talk myself out of wanting to not go