#but the other choir (which is an amateur choir with people mostly just starting out) getting a 1+??? Such a blow to self esteem lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/12/2020 (LadBaby, Boris Johnson, Ed Sheeran)

It’s Boxing Day in the UK as I write this and I’m pretty tired but we still have to review those charts regardless, especially this chart as this is the Christmas chart – at least it’s being paraded around as such – and hence we have a Christmas #1. For the third year in a row, family vlogger, pseudo-comedian and amateur musician, not to be confused with DaBaby, Mark Ian Hoyle – more commonly known as “LadBaby”, has bagged the #1 for the holiday season. Every time I’ve covered the Christmas #1 it has been this guy and, yeah, I’m tired of it. At least this year he felt some stiff competition, and hey, the songs’ proceeds do go to charity. Oh, yeah, and this guy is the third act to have three Christmas #1s in a row, putting this nobody from Nottingham with a barebones Wikipedia page and a couple million YouTube subscribers on the level of the Beatles and Spice Girls. God, the UK Singles Chart never fails to amaze me. Anyway, that’s arguably not even the biggest story here so let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As I said before, this is the “Christmas week” so throughout the UK Top 75 there are a lot of holiday songs re-peaking or reaching new peaks, before dropping off entirely the next week. Let’s start as we always do by listing the drop-outs from the chart, of which there are quite a few notable ones. Most of our top 40 debuts from last week are gone, like Taylor Swift’s “champagne problems” and “no body, no crime” featuring HAIM, as well as “Show Out” by Kid Cudi, the late Pop Smoke and Skepta. We can also say goodbye to “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee, finally after 54 weeks and a surprise return earlier this month, in addition to other top 10 hits like “you broke me first” by Tate McRae, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio and “What You Know Bout Love” also by Pop Smoke, as well as some more minor hits like “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles and “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, but I can see almost all of these rebounding hard next week so I don’t think there’s much to worry about here. For fallers, since Christmas has really consumed everything about this chart this week, we have some big ones that’ll find themselves back in the top 10 or at least top 20 next week like “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19 (the first non-Christmas non-debut song to appear on the chart, by the way), “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix at #20, “Whoopty” by CJ at #22, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #28, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #31, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa at #35 alongside “Midnight Sky” also by Miley at #36, “willow” by Taylor Swift off the debut to #37, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #38 and “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy. We also have “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #43, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #45, even “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X at #49, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #54, “Loading” by Central Cee at #59, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #60, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #64, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #66, “Dynamite” by BTS at #67, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #72, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa with the biggest fall down to #73 and finally “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #74. To put the dominance of holiday music on the charts in perspective, if we take the songs that are not either explicitly Christmas-related or a clear Christmas #1 campaign (i.e. LadBaby), the song at #38 would be at #10 and our #1 would be “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19. “Whoopty” by CJ, that entered the top 10 last week and dropped to #22 this week, would be at #3. There are 11 songs in the top 40 that never made an effort to take advantage of the holiday season. When we get into some of our debuts, it’ll be even clearer how big Christmas is in British pop music. Anyway, let’s skim through our gains and returning entries, most of which are Christmas or Christmas-related. For returning entries, we have the comically awful “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud at #71, last year’s scam attempt at a Christmas #1, “River” by Ellie Goulding at #69, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole at #63 (which I’d appreciate more in the top 20 like it is in the US every year – this is a classic), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders at #62 (again, incredible song that deserves a higher holiday peak each year), “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love at #58, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #55, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #53 and for whatever reason, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper at #41. In terms of notable gains – and I stress notable, since a lot of higher-up Christmas songs had small gains but still good performance - we have “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #56, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #52, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Brett Eldredge and Meghan Trainor at #51, “Forever Young” by Becky Hill at #50 (both off of the debut), “Baby it’s Cold Outside” AGAIN by Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel at #47, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #46, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano at #44, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #42, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” AGAIN by Dean Martin at #39, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #34, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #33, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #32, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms at #27, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #26, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #25, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher at #24 (thanks to a Christmas #1 campaign that crashed and failed), “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #23, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #21, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #17, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #15, and finally, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber illegitimately notching a spot in the top 10 at #8. Finally, we can get onto the new arrivals, although something about this next one tells me that we won’t be in line for anything all that good.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “I’ll be Home” – Meghan Trainor

Produced by Meghan Trainor

...for Christmas. She’ll be home for Christmas. I guess she just can’t finish sentences, even though her cover art has the full title. Anyway, this is a 2014 original Christmas song that went nowhere except Sweden. It’s not anything like the Bing Crosby and wasn’t nearly as successful, mostly because it’s a jingly, inoffensive ballad tacked onto a silly Christmas EP that also features Fifth Harmony and Fiona Apple of all people – who probably should have charted her track instead – as well as the deluxe edition of that debut record Title that nobody liked. At least in this, she’s not going for a faux-retro style, or at least one that I can find the inspiration for, and is just singing over this oddly jaunty piano melody – which sounds pretty albeit bland – as well as some swells of strings and acoustic guitar that do work sonically. The content implies that Meghan Trainor is in contact with Santa Claus personally, and that he gave her the advice to be home with her lover this Christmas and... that’s why this charted, isn’t it? Well, it’s not her fault – it’s not a “stuck with u” moment, but it is dodgy that she decided to put this on her own Christmas record that was released in October of this year, which can’t seem unintentional. I’d be lying to say this isn’t a pretty little tune from Trainor and her voice does fit this instrumental, but a jazzy rendition from someone with a deeper, smoother voice, would work wonders with the content. Oh, and that Christmas record features guest appearances from both Earth, Wind & Fire and Seth MacFarlane, as well as her dad, because, you know, sure, 2020.

#65 – “Gnat” – Eminem

Produced by d.a. got that dope

I can’t tell if I’m underestimating Christmas or overestimating Eminem when I say I expected an album bomb – or whatever that equivalent would be in the UK and our land of silly chart rules – from the deluxe edition of his pretty damn terrible album, Music to be Murdered By. This 3/10 trainwreck consists of two hours I’ll never get back of either great beats wasted by Eminem’s corny, stiff flows and painfully unlikeable delivery or obnoxious, unlistenable beats that are dated enough for Eminem to start going on his Relapse “killing women in funny accents” shtick, which was awful then and even worse now when he tries to replicate it. Marshall, you’re 48, and I know that you’re just “messing around” but if you’re going to treat the album as a cinematic masterpiece within the album and its thematic Alfred Hitchcock interludes, you have to understand that the audience will see it as that way as well, so you having fun and being painfully unfunny in the process over cutting-room-floor trap instrumentals cannot slide. At least Kamikaze had some genuine anger and dare I say some actual balls in how it tackled controversy and dissed everyone he could think of off the top of his head. The last record was angry and bitter, this one’s just tired and lazy, and that’s before we get into some of the ugliest bars, instrumentals and cadences Slim Shady’s ever put on record, which is especially present on “Gnat”, a lightweight trap banger with some acoustic guitars not dissimilar to those that would appear on a Lil Baby mixtape, complete with questionable bass mixing and really bad hooks. On the verses, he sends a death threat to Mike Pence, but on the chorus, his bars are “like COVID” because “you get them right off the bat”. I don’t know about you, but in 2020, I don’t want to hear Eminem harmonising with producer tags, making topical and insensitive pandemic references, or spitting sex bars with coughing ad-libs. Before the beat switch, his flows are some of the sloppiest and drawn-out he’s ever used, and yes, I’ll admit, that second beat is a lot better and Em kills it over that instrumental – but only for a brief moment before we have a third beat, which Eminem is pretty great over, especially with that sax and sweet piano keys overlaid with hard 808s and Eminem’s rapid-pace, quick fire flow... and then he raps the chorus again and I want the song to end as quickly as it started – thankfully, it does end rather abruptly. Just wasted potential all throughout – if that beat switch and flow was a guest verse on damn near anyone else’s record (Em has made tracks with Don Toliver of all people, and he could work), this could be great. For now, Em, you know Kris Kristofferson? I think you should Piss Pissofferson. Forever. Look that up, by the way, that’s a lyric on the record because of course it is.

#61 – “In the Bleak Midwinter” – Jamie Cullum

Produced by ???

I had only briefly heard the name “Jamie Cullum” before this, but he is an English jazz-pop singer and pianist who’s basically useless and uninteresting but, hey, at least he has a radio show on BBC Radio 2. Sure, I mean that might have been the reason that Amazon Music picked him up for an exclusive project for which this is the biggest single. It’s not on Spotify, it’s not even on Genius, and it’s barely on YouTube but since it is, I should tell you that this is his first charting single since 2009 and it’s a remarkably uninteresting rendition of a Christmas carol done a lot better by Jacob Collier – and that one’s on Spotify – so yeah, your sleepy piano arrangement and tone that makes you sound like Robbie Williams half the time and Beck the other, doesn’t interest me. Goodbye.

#30 – “Afterglow” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by PARISI, Fred Again and Ed Sheeran

If we inexplicably remove everything Christmas-related on the chart, Eminem’s “Gnat” would have debuted at #20, and this new track from Ed Sheeran, already stunted from being released on an unconventional day, would have hit #5. Regardless of chart position, Ed Sheeran’s back with his first solo single since Divide. Yes, I’m purposefully ignoring that collaborative project he put out in 2019 because as far as I know, it doesn’t exist. At the end of the year, when things are looking as if he could start touring again, Sheeran predictably releases his lead-off single. This song in particular is a heartfelt ballad from Ed to his wife, who he wishes to be there forever and even if they aren’t together at any moment, whether he’s touring or they separate for whatever reason, he’ll “hold on to the afterglow”. I won’t lie, it’s a really sweet and convincingly sold love song from Ed, even if it’s not anything new, it does feel like a different approach since he’s a newly-wed man now. Although I’m not a fan of this somewhat muddy mixing that somehow messes up just a guy and his acoustic guitar, making what should be a really pretty, ethereal and mellow track sound almost ugly, which doesn’t flatter Ed and his limited delivery at all, especially when he starts getting multi-tracked in the second verse and whooshing sound effects of strings pop up in the mix, and, yeah, it just sounds cheap and gross at this point, which is really a waste of incredible content and a great performance from Ed, who sells everything as well as he can. I understand how this is supposed to be down to Earth, so a perfect mix wouldn’t make sense, but if you’re going to make him harmonise with his own background vocals and even show signs of belting, give him some more grandiosity and go full out instead of restraining him so that it just sounds jarring. With a different mix this could be one of Ed’s best tracks since the melodies are on point, the song feels really heart-warming and sincere, especially coming from Ed to his wife, but we won’t get a remaster anytime soon, I imagine, so for now this is just pretty damn good. I love the cover art as well, painted by Ed himself, and released alongside the single as a bit of a Christmas gift to fans, as well as the start of what I’m pretty sure will be a promo cycle. If this is a good peek into what that album will sound like, it’s safe to say I’m more than excited than ever to hear from Ed Sheeran.

#5 – “Boris Johnson is a Fricking Jerk” – Kool & the Gang

Produced by ???

Okay, so the song’s calling Boris Johnson something stronger than a “fricking jerk”, and the song is decidedly not by soul legends Kool & the Gang, although I’d love for that to happen sometime. This is a family show, of course, so we have to take some liberties. This track originates from a comedian from Basildon, Essex of all places, and whilst we don’t know his name, the songwriting credit on Spotify is given to contemporary British poet Wayne Clements so maybe he’s behind this, who knows? Whether he is or not, I can tell you the history behind this comedian’s music, as he has been making crude short singles about controversial topics in British society and politics for a while, including some about Nick Clegg that charted, although never higher than #63. He retired in 2016 but after writing an autobiography, the guy’s back and he released a compilation of punk rock tracks, all of which are small and profane, with a “band” of puppets that I also can’t name. State-controlled Russian television networks – because, sure, again, it’s 2020 – say that he will start touring in 2021, mostly because he’s finally reached that mainstream audience with this family-friendly tune about Boris Johnson. Here’s how Vick Hope and Katie Thistleton introduced it live on air during the mid-week chart reveal.

Now at #19, we've got a track about Boris Johnson that has so many bad words in it, we can't play it on daytime Radio 1.

Ah, you cowards. Wait... Anyway, I’m pretty happy that the British public can stick it to Boris and the heartless Tories that follow him and currently rule the country, even if it is all a bloody stupid joke from an anonymous punk rocker. We can dig into Boris for his failures on Brexit, mishandling of the pandemic, disgraceful reality-star-esque personal life, that he wasn’t even born in the UK yet is basically a nationalist, his history of Islamophobic commentary, his crap excuses for journalism back in the 2000s or even his clown-nose, blonde bowl-cut “hair style” he adopts whilst addressing us on live television feeding us lies and misleading statements that turn into retcons the next time he has to address the nation, whether it be on Brexit or COVID-19 tiers and regulations, both of which are a confusing mess to both sides of Europe that exist to drift us away from where we should be going as a nation, and further into the realm of political party tribalism that we know absolutely does not work in the States and that we mock the Yanks for. We’re more than the sick man of Europe, we are the America of Europe. I guess you could say Ireland is our Canada, but we don’t even have a Mexico to make us look better, we just have other western, central and northern European countries that may be flawed but are far ahead of whatever the hell this shell of a union is in 2020, less than 80 years after the creation of our National Health Service. People will look to pundits and newsreaders like Piers Morgan, entertainers like Phillip Schofield, war veterans and charity-givers like Captain Tom Moore, and even politicians like Boris Johnson, as the “heroes” of Britain’s 2020 but it’s increasingly clear that absolutely no-one is a hero, and it’s the people’s right to be upset. Hence, nearly exactly a year after Boris Johnson cheated his way into power by smear campaigns and elitism, we have this song debuting at #5. Unfortunately, the song doesn’t go into any of that. It just repeats the title in an anthemic – and considerably agreeable – refrain that is an undeniable punk hook. The riffs and guitar work here isn’t of any interest, but the guy’s delivery is powerful and furious, so I’ll give the song credit: it’s not just correct but it’s really good, especially for a one minute runtime. He also released some satirical MIDI-level synth-pop remix with gross Christmas sleigh bells and hi-hat skitters, because, say it with me, it’s 2020. I wouldn’t recommend the album though, it overstays its welcome by the time you get to “Jesus Died of a Stranglewank”.

#1 – “Don’t Stop Me Eatin’” – LadBaby

Produced by who cares?

I can’t get mad at this lazy “parody” of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” about sausage rolls, or even its Ronan Keating remix, which is LadBaby doing a favour to Ronan Keating, if anything. Sure, my blood boils with the idea that this incompetent Internet personality from the East Midlands – which I think I’m sadly also able to describe myself as – got the #1 over Mariah Carey, or even that Boris Johnson diss track, but it’s going to the Trussell Trust and it’s ultimately an inoffensive, vaguely happy track that even gets the vegans involved. I, for one, prefer “Boris Johnson is a Sausage Roll”, a version of our #5 you can – and should – play on the radio even after Christmas. I don’t have anything more to say about this guy so piss off, LadBaby, you can’t even get the album cover right to the song you’re parodying, thrice in a row.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is definitely going to the Somethings for “Boris Johnson is a Something Something”, with an Honourable Mention to Ed Sheeran’s “Afterglow”. I can’t bring myself to give a charity single Worst of the Week so I’ll spare LadBaby the honour and grant it to Jamie Cullum for his greedy Amazon exclusive trite, with a Dishonourable Mention for “Gnat” by Eminem, for just being wasted potential all across the board. Next week, everything Christmas-related will be gone and we’ll get a bunch of returns and hopefully some new, interesting returning entries. We might even get the impact of Playboi Carti’s long-anticipated album – and I hope so because it’s fantastic – but that’s wishful thinking. Anyways, I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Here’s our top 10:

Thank you for reading. You can follow me @cactusinthebank for more rambling about pop music and occasionally politics, and I’ll see you next year.

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delicadenza · 7 years

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Gratuitous YOI High School Glee Club AU Incoming

What originally started off as a random brainfart shared between @mayerwien and myself to the effect of ”oh lol it would be so adorable if leo de la iglesia sang solos in his church choir” mutated rapidly into “ok we need a huge-scale high school glee club AU complete with choreography and song list.” Since we’re both trying to squelch the temptation to write it out into a full-on multichaptered fic/screenplay/series of TV and music video storyboards, here we are putting the summary together to share with the rest of Tumblrsphere.

This AU takes place in an unidentified high school in an unidentified country, where the glee club has been whittled down to three members–President Victor, Vice President Chris, and Official Club Secretary/Treasurer/PR Officer JJ–as the other members have either graduated or left the club due to their general all-abiding weirdness. Glee coach Yakov tells them that as per directive from the principal’s office they need to add to their roster or they can’t be an official club. Hence the first major story arc is probably Victor resorting to weird guerrilla recruitment tactics (e.g. listening for random musically-inclined people in the hallways, stealing people from other clubs, etc.) to beef up their numbers and in the process discovering Yuuri, your archetypal shy, golden-voiced ingenue. Silly Hijinks ensue, they eventually get their shit together and (re)enter the competitive circuit, More Silly Hijinks Ensue.

(Disclaimer: we’re playing this mostly for laughs so there’s not much here by way of complex or cohesive plot, ages have been thoroughly messed around with, and a lot of the character-trait-assignment is more than a little cracked-up but hey we’re running with it and having fun with it, especially the weird and wonderful process of setting all our cracky thoughts to music, so we hope you do too. <3 Feel free to headcanon the life out of our headcanons as well because this AU needs to Live.)

Character intros + songs (links click through to YouTube; we’ve picked appropriate-sounding cover versions where possible for maximum Imagination Factor) under the cut!

Victor: Senior, president of the glee club, its primary soloist, all-around Golden Boy who’s beloved for his smooth key changes and surprising vocal improv. Can Sing Anything, even the front page of a newspaper, probably. The catch is he’s unsure about whether or not to continue pursuing music after graduation, as he’s worried that both his abilities and his interest in singing will have peaked in high school. Still searching for that One Thing that will make him excited about music again, whether it’s new songs, or new people to sing with. The other kids at school tend to be intimidated both by his mountain of singing accolades and his eccentric demeanor, and so give him a wide berth–Victor in turn sort of shrugs it off and remains unaware of his deep-seated loneliness until he’s finally mustered up a full club and realizes this must be what it’s like to share a music room with lots of people who want to be there with you, and that it’s being part of something special that makes you special. (Character song: “Love Song for No One” by John Mayer; it’s a song that helps him relax and step back from the high-octane performance pieces he’s always doing for the club, and gives voice to certain complicated feelings he would have no idea how to talk about on his own.)

Yuuri: Sophomore, plays a hundred different instruments (or welp just the guitar, piano, violin, and maybe the clarinet) and sings besides and has loved music since he was a little kid, but suffers from a lot of anxiety about his singing in particular that leads to debilitating stage-fright. Over the years he’s gotten better at working with instruments in front of an audience–he’s played piano for the drama club and such a couple of times–but has yet to sing in public; as of AU start Phichit and his family members are the only ones who know he can sing. A big fan of Victor’s voice but has never worked up the courage to tell him so, or even go to any of his former glee club gigs without Phichit to drag him there; has in the past usually settled for hovering uncertainly outside the music room door and listening. Victor discovers him taking a shower in the boys’ locker room after school one day For Some Reason ala Pitch Perfect, because Yuuri thinks the place is empty and forgets himself enough to belt out a few lines of “Titanium.” Victor promptly jumps in the shower and attempts to duet with him on the spot. He has a warm voice with a full timbre that rises easily over the accompaniment; his main charm point is first identified as his sincerity, but it becomes apparent later that he can deliver on more dramatic numbers when pushed. In spite of his lack of performance experience his diaphragm is well-exercised from years of shower concerts. (Character song: “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter, which he likes to play for himself on the keyboard in his room to pick himself up when Times Are Hard.)

Yuri: Freshman, conservatory-trained-from-the-womb upstart wonderboy, former boy soprano who passed the puberty test with flying colors and continues to boast impressive range and vocal control. Always chooses the most ambitious performance pieces to Make a Point, and applies himself fiercely to his practice, but secretly chafes against the rigidity of his classical training and has no idea what to do about it; his dearest dream is to have more opportunities to let loose and sing more RAAAHHHK. Yakov is a friend of his grandfather, which is why he got nudged into the glee club, but he’s duly dismayed when it’s populated by three weirdos and no one else. Used to sing in the same boys’ choir/do chorus roles in the same small-time musicals as Otabek, back in the town they both lived in as kids, but promptly forgot about him when he moved away in middle school. His favorite band is Paramore, but you didn’t hear it from him. (Character song: “That’s What You Get” by Paramore; his Iconic Moment is when he slams the door to his room and puts this on full blast so he can scream along to it in an attempt to either block out or understand his feelings, probably sometime after Otabek comes back into his life and he remembers their Shared Past via an ultra-meaningful duet or five.)

Chris: Senior, vice-president of the glee club, Victor’s sometime duet-partner because his lower range makes for pleasing harmonies, the high point of their career being a cover of “Take Me or Leave Me” from Rent for Broadway Night in their junior year. Insists he Doesn’t Mind Not Being a Tenor, though his true feelings about it–about anything, really–are obscured by his cavalier, flirt-with-everything-that-moves facade. His leadership policy is to shrug in a vaguely affirmative fashion at all of Victor’s strange plans because they sound fun but actively helping him get things done takes too much energy. Has an ongoing long-distance relationship with an unidentified upperclassman of theirs who’s since moved on to college glee. Has a lot of fangirls, who describe his voice largely in terms of sweet, viscous things–melted chocolate, honey, molasses, and so on. The only one in the club who can pull off a growl. (Character Song: a particularly slinky rendition of “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen–with all the sexy lyrics in, obviously.)

JJ: Junior, fills pretty much all the other leadership positions as needed in the glee club after they lose nearly their entire member base. Has his eye on Victor’s spot as Favorite Soloist but always gets passed over in favor of Victor for solos and usually ends up serving as his alternate. Yakov’s told him multiple times that he has a good voice but an abrasive onstage presence. Of the original three members he’s the only one who doesn’t take well to the directive to beef up their numbers, as he’s convinced that the three of them can be a functional glee club all on their own. Or that he can be a glee club all on his own, with just his girlfriend to back him up and sing duets with him occasionally. Leaves the glee club for much of the Derpy Recruitment Arc to establish Glee Club JJ-Style, which let’s be real is nothing but him and Isabella, and one of the first major conflicts faced by the cast is whether or not they actually want him back, and how to get him back once they decide they kinda do, in spite of everything. (Character Song: “Who Wants to Live Forever” by Queen, Breaking Benjamin cover, because. Because. Though of course everyone secretly says they like his poignant love ballad duets with Isabella more than anything he does on his own; her presence has a way of humanizing him and making him more likable to the audience.)

Phichit: Sophomore, Yuuri’s best friend, eventually gets assigned to manage the glee club’s social media accounts after he joins up. Loves music but never thought to pursue it formally because he’s interested in a lot of other things too–amateur photography, dancing, baking, synchronized swimming, painting props for the drama club, you name it–and used to spend a lot of his time helping out other clubs in a pinch. Spends his magical pockets of free time cheerfully playing his guitar in the quad, and uploads covers of his favorite songs to YouTube and Soundcloud, which is how Victor discovers him. Drags Yuuri onboard to play piano or second guitar or sing harmonies for him sometimes, but keeps him carefully out of frame in all the videos per his request, leaving his followers more than a little curious about who the Mystery Voice belongs to. Starts off with a pretty light, bright voice, with a cute falsetto; his initial specialty is the low-key feel-good acoustic number, but since joining the club he’s started learning to sing with more weight and power. (Character Song: “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran; it incorporates his two favorite things to do in life, plus it jives with his generally hopeful outlook on life and love and pretty much everything. Also it’s Yuuri on the glass xylophone, naturally–they were hanging out in the music room one day and someone had left some random glasses lying around so they had a weird idea to mess around with them and suddenly it was beautiful.)

Otabek: Freshman, mysterious transfer student with a velvety baritone everyone inevitably falls in love with. Yuri’s erstwhile neighbor, friend, and choirmate, but fell out of touch with him because his family moves around a lot. Has dreams of playing in a band one day, but struggles with reaching out to and connecting with others, and is generally unsure about the idea of finally finding a place to belong. A self-taught guitarist who did odd jobs around his neighborhood so he could buy his first guitar. Joined the glee club after he passed by the music room one day and heard Yuri doing his scales, because of course he would remember that voice, of course he would. His first duet with Yuri in years is in an empty auditorium after practice, which of course he opens with, “Are you going to sing with me or not?” (Character Song: “One Song Glory” by Jonathan Larson; he goes up to the rooftop of his apartment building and practices this by himself as the sun is going down.)

Leo: Freshman, a dancer whom Victor steals from the school dance troupe after discovering that 1) he also sings lovely solos for his church choir, 2) he has a fairly active YouTube channel for his covers, which primarily consist of mashups and medleys. Strikes up a friendship with Phichit pre-AU Start over YouTube Musician Life; they’ve guested on each other’s channels once or twice. Interested in music production and wants to pursue it as a possible future career path, so of course he does all the mixing and instrumentation for his tracks, and later for the glee club once Victor decides to take advantage of his wide skillset. Is such a dear sweet ray of sunshine he accepts all of Victor’s wild mixing and choreography help requests, but his greatest personal challenge is when Victor asks him to personally coach Seunggil on his showmanship. (Character song: This insane mashup of Hailee Steinfeld’s “Starving” and Frank Ocean’s “Aylin Ivy”, which is his greatest accomplishment until the day he finally gets Seunggil to smile onstage.)

Guanghong: Freshman, a friend of Phichit’s from the baking/cooking club with unexpectedly dark music taste. Outwardly soft-spoken and sweet, but finds it bothersome that others tend not to take him seriously in favor of calling him cute and pretty all the time. Unexpectedly he and Yuri bond over this common problem of theirs, and over their shared RAAAHHHK singing dreams, though Guanghong’s are more of the Evanescence persuasion, in contrast to Yuri’s Paramore. His bedroom is primarily pink but it’s also covered in posters of his favorite darque bands, so everyone who comes over to his house experiences a certain measure of cognitive dissonance that’s to be expected when you know him well. Hits All the High Notes, All the Time. (Character Song: “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence, which Leo agrees both to mix and do backing vocals for; he’s both charmed out of his mind and slightly afraid the whole time they work on it together.)

Seunggil: Sophomore, pianist in the school orchestra whom Celestino gives to the glee club as an accompanist in the attempt to help him polish his coordination and people skills. His singing talent is discovered somewhat by accident because the rest of the club notices his eye twitching all the way at the back of the room whenever someone goes off-key. When he comes onboard as a singer it becomes apparent right off the bat that he has perfect pitch but absolutely zero showmanship; no matter how high-energy the song-and-dance routine, he goes through the motions with an immovable straight face. (Character song: “Piano Man” by Billy Joel; his first ever solo is a cover of the song, except he’s rearranged all the jauntiness out of it and what’s left is unexpectedly mournful and heart-squeezing and makes everyone in the room want to hug him.)

Emil: Sophomore, the resident beatboxer, super friendly computer nerd who shares Leo’s interest in composing and sound production. True to form, electronica is his primary genre, and Leo always jokingly calls out Emil’s mixes for being too synthy, but they’re unique in that he still somehow manages to give his songs a strong melody line. His pet project/personal challenge upon joining the glee club is engineering a cappella arrangements for Daft Punk songs. (Character song: “Shooting Star” by Owl City, which he plays for the club one off-day that they’re all feeling down; the others had always been kind of weirded out by his music taste prior to that moment, but then suddenly everybody was tearing up over the twinkly sounds coming from his laptop.)

Michele: Junior, jumped ship from the drama club after Sara left. His greatest acting strength is his ability to deeply internalize the thoughts and emotional state of the characters he plays, a skill that’s still somehow put to good use in glee, especially during character- or narrative-driven performances. Butts heads with Emil often because he finds electronic music soulless, and/or because Emil smiles too much when he performs and doesn’t have enough gravitas. Has a deep, dramatic voice, but struggles at times with controlling his vibrato. (Character song: “To Where You Are” by Josh Groban; he bursts into the music room singing it the day Sara leaves, and everyone is freaked out of their minds but his vocal chops are undeniable, so it only takes until the end of the song for Victor and Chris to decide to adopt him.)

Sara: Junior, formerly the prima donna of the drama club, with acting skillz well-honed enough that it doesn’t bother her to play alongside her twin brother, but after two straight years she’s getting tired of it. She left drama on a whim to answer Victor’s recruitment call in an attempt to be more independent and find a change of scene; somehow did not anticipate that he would follow her to glee without even looking back, leading male role in the winter musical or no. Helps Leo with choreography, and takes the lead in particular on crowded high-energy ensemble routines. Her voice is powerful and rich and somewhat dark in tone, and handles dynamic changes well. (Character song: “Mine” by Taylor Swift, but a slowed-down, melancholic version; she has a penchant for sad, high-drama songs that allow her to make use of her theater background, but it’s all acting, no drawing from personal experience, oh no, she’s a strong independent woman who doesn’t need love.)

Mila: Sophomore, Yuri’s cousin who considers herself his older sister figure and nursemaid by obligation, even if he insists he doesn’t need her to look after him anymore. Plays spiker on the girls’ volleyball team, but entered the glee club mostly to keep an eye on Yuri, and because she enjoys high levels of activity in her life. Contends with a lot of doubt from all corners about whether or not she can balance all her extracurricular obligations without sacrificing performance for any of them, but she’s determined to Prove Them Wrong. Keeps Yuri’s embarrassing baby photos and home videos on her phone to show everyone. Has considerable vocal agility, so she gets a lot of riffs and runs. (Character song: “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten; it’s her song for both her teams as they go into the full flush of their respective competition seasons, and she somehow manages to convince everyone to fistpump enthusiastically all the way through each chorus.)

Georgi: Senior, a longtime friend of Victor’s who finally joins him in the glee club after four years of nagging/”gentle persuasion.” Used to be involved in theater, but quit at the end of his junior year after his girlfriend and leading lady left him for his understudy. The theater people he left behind worry that sadness is the only emotion he truly knows how to convey–and that the way he performs it is oftentimes too intense and lacking in restraint–but Victor insists he can work with Georgi’s moodiness and turn his emotional energies toward truly affecting musical performances. Everything he sings starts off sounding somehow operatic. (Character song: “On My Own” from Les Miserables, which he had originally wanted to mash up with “I Dreamed a Dream” and “Memory” from Cats, but Victor had the foresight to see that such a combination would make this year’s Broadway Night very heavy very fast, and managed to convince him to choose just one.)

Isabella: Junior, classically trained conservatory girl, JJ’s girlfriend since freshman year. Has been sought out by Yakov for the glee club more than once in the attempt to bring in fresh voices (and more girls, for balance), but she’s always declined On Principle, given the Victor-JJ conflict–which she’s fully cognizant is a conflict mostly on JJ’s side, but you’ve got to be supportive. Eventually convinces JJ to stop being a big baby and return to the glee club and learn to be a team player, and finally joins up with him. Initially her most well-known performance piece is her tearjerking duet with JJ to “A Thousand Years,” but she starts making a name for herself after a while as the Power Ballad Girl. (Character song: “I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders, which she sings on the heels of one of JJ’s tantrums on an especially bad off-day and reduces the entire club to tears. Yakov included, though he pretends to have a cold.)

Minami: Middle-schooler from the sister school with which the main school has close ties, president of his school’s glee club, huge Michael Jackson stan. His singing is kind of rough around the edges especially since his voice started changing, but he makes up for it with his exuberant Performer’s Aura. You can pick him out in any group of dancers in a heartbeat because he’s for sure giving the choreo 200000% each time. Watches all of Phichit’s covers and is obsessed with finding out who his mystery collaborator is, finally sees Yuuri perform at the regional glee club competition and knows in a heartbeat that it’s him. (Character song: “Rock with You” by Michael Jackson, which everyone at his cool is convinced is too big a song for him and his club but of course Minami-kun’s convinced he and his team are going to prove them wrong, they were born to make history.)

Minako: Guidance counselor, coaches the dance troupe on the side. Sees Yuuri often for his anxiety episodes and is instrumental in coaching him through all his qualms about performing. He hides out in her office whenever he’s nervous or upset, but soon discovers she’s not going to let him skip out on glee club practice after she physically picks him up and delivers him to the music room his first and second sessions. Always playing jazz and showtunes when she’s not seeing someone for a consultation, and it’s very likely you can hear her singing from the hallway outside her office. (Character song: “Don’t Rain on My Parade” by Barbra Streisand, which she has a fully choreographed routine for. She sings this to/at Yuuri aggressively whenever he’s having one of his episodes, and she considers it a major breakthrough the day she finally gets him to join in.)

Celestino: Music teacher, advisor and conductor to the high school orchestra, feeds his instrumentalists to the glee club so naturally they do lots of collab work. Taught Phichit everything he knows about the guitar, though to this day no one knows how Phichit managed to convince him to teach him for free. Also one of the first people to discover Yuuri’s facility with literally every instrument under the sun after he and Phichit break into the music room to jam after hours one day pre-AU start. Since then Yuuri’s convinced Celestino’s looking at him funny, and hides behind Phichit on days that he drops by glee club practice, but all he really wants is for the strange shy but unreasonably multitalented boy to get comfortable with performing. (Character song: ”That’s Amore” by Dean Martin, which is the first song he ever teaches Phichit to play because he’s convinced the boy is carrying a torch for his strange shy best friend and just doesn’t realize it yet; Phichit staunchly denies it the whole way through but agrees to learn the song anyway because it’s fun.)

Lilia: School principal, former powerhouse female soloist and glee club president Back in the Day, maintains an interest in glee club activities in spite of her strained relationship with ex-husband glee coach Yakov. Sits in on practice sessions sometimes, much to everyone’s terror, but once she warms up to everyone and they to her she eventually becomes a valued source of craft- and life-advice. She and Yakov appear to be on the way to rekindling their romance after the club starts Going Places, because shared pride in the success of their mentees and happy memories of themselves in their own prime before they got jaded and old, etc. etc. (Character song: “Hello, Young Lovers” from The King and I, which endears her to Phichit in particular, and which she ends up reprising an uncomfortable amount of times after the kids start coming to her with Love Trouble.)

Yakov: Glee coach and history teacher, glee club vice president under Lilia Back in the Day. His regular students know him to be crabby and tough to impress, but the glee club kids eventually find ways to earn his appreciation and occasionally even wring Warm Paternal Moments from him. Has a hands-on voice-coaching style that helps him attune himself to the needs and strengths of each of his singers individually and together, and retains a keen ear for harmony that’s put to good use arranging duets and ensemble numbers. Insists he can no longer sing in his old age, so of course it becomes the club’s personal mission to prove otherwise and get him to perform at least one number with them before the year ends. (Character song: “The Way You Look Tonight” as sung by Fred Astaire, which the kids strong-arm him into serenading Lilia with on their ex-wedding anniversary; he puts up a brave fight about it for a few days but anyone would buckle under pressure from an army of teenage cupids.)

#yuri on ice #yuri!!! on ice #victor nikiforov #katsuki yuuri #yuri plisetsky #headcanon #glee club au #alternate universe #psychobabble #may and i spent way too much time on this but it was so much fun #trust us to come up next with a detailed list of songs per crucial plot point but no actual fic #i swear

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persephonestourrp · 7 years

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♫ We need love, but all we want is danger ♫

Samantha Evans, usually referred to as Sam, was born on a cool February day in a hospital in Kentucky. Her parents, Dwight and Mary, were married for only a year at that point and didn’t have much money, but they swore from then on out to do their best to provide for their daughter.

No, Sam never had much money growing up, but she did have loving, devoted, and God-loving parents. Sam was baptized in their church after just a few weeks outside of the womb, and from that moment on, Sam was brought to church every single Sunday. As she got older, Sam would fight her mom a bit about what she had to wear -- why were dresses a requirement when the boys got to wear pants and run around in the mud in the break between Sunday school and the church service? -- but she grew up believing just as much in God as they did.

That was also how she first started learning about music. She asked her parents if she could join the children’s choir and it was there where she first started reading sheet music and learned what all those little dots meant. The music minister taught Sam so much and Sam soaked it up quickly, soon learning guitar under the kind woman’s (free) supervision. She seemed to be a natural at it.

And being good at something was a nice feeling, because Sam was never good at anything in school. No matter how hard she tried, Sam seemed to fail every single test at school. Math wasn’t too bad, but letters would always mix around in her head and she’d always get laughed at whenever she had to read aloud in class. Not only that, but she couldn’t concentrate, which often got her yelled at, and she even had trouble grasping how to tie shoes. Nothing seemed to make sense.

When her teachers told Mary and Dwight that Sam was at a risk for repeating second grade, they took her to the school’s specialist. They knew Sam was smart, but something seemed to just get mixed up in her head. After lots of tests, they concluded that Sam had dyslexia. Her trouble with spelling and following simple tasks all seemed to make sense. She was so young, but Sam still felt a wave of relief at knowing it wasn’t her fault. She just had some wire lose in her head or some wires weren’t connecting or something like that, she couldn’t remember the metaphor the teacher told her. All that mattered was she wasn’t dumb.

Well, Sam knew she wasn’t dumb, but she still felt dumb, especially since her classmates saw her go to the special ed class she had for an hour every day. She wasn’t wildly unpopular or anything, but she definitely got mocked a lot. And it hurt.

She did her best to just focus on things that made her happy, though. Her special ed teachers got her into comic books, since somehow that stuff seemed to make sense in her mind since it was so linear. She continued learning guitar and going to church and she joined the school’s swim team. Eventually, when her little brother and sister were born, Sam helped around the house as best as she could.

As Sam got older, she got more friends at school and was actually pretty popular, but she would still often be found at home helping her parents with her baby siblings during her free time. Family was always so important to her, more important than most anything else, and she loved being around her kid brother and sister. Stevie and Stacie looked up to her so much and it was damn awesome to be seen as a hero.

Then a crisis hit. Her dad lost her job and they had to tighten their belts even more. Sam got a job delivering pizzas and saved up as much money as possible, eventually even selling her most prized possession, her guitar, just to try to help spread money around. And when it came time for her to apply to colleges, Sam didn’t even bother; it cost too much money to even apply, and she still didn’t feel smart enough to even go to one. She was going to stay in Kentucky, because, yeah, maybe her dad finally landed a well-paying job again, but getting Stevie and Stacie more money was much more important than getting into some dumb college. Her siblings would be better at the whole college thing than her anyways.

Well, her parents actually weren’t okay with that. See, they knew maybe college wasn’t the right place for their eldest child, but they knew that Sam wanted to see more of the world, and that after years of sacrifice, she deserved it. She could model, she could sing, she could even work as a minister, but she needed to get out of their small town in Kentucky and make a name for herself and have fun.

A year after Sam graduated high school, her parents presented her with a new guitar and gave her the keys to their old truck. Sam always had a home with them, but they told her it was time to find something new. As much as Sam would miss her family, she knew they were right and she needed to leave Kentucky. So with the money she saved, plus some extra her parents made her take, Sam took off for a new adventure.

♫ We team up, then switch sides like a record changer ♫

Of course, when thinking of places to go, the obvious destination was LA. It was sunny and full of big chances, right? So Sam drove that beat up old car to California, got a job in a Target, and looked for places to live. On Craigslist she found two other girls, Rachel Berry and Kitty Wilde, who were looking for a roommate. Sam fit all the requirements: a non-smoking woman with no pets who didn’t mind Rachel practicing her belting at home. Sam applied using free wifi at a Starbucks and after an interview the next day, where she provided first and last months rent, Sam moved right on into the new place.

Of course, despite that bundle of money, the theme of her life always seemed to be money and the lack of it, and this was no different. It was hard for her to pay for food, car insurance, rent, her phone bill, and utilities, even with California’s higher minimum wage. She was normally exhausted whenever she finished work, and the only peace she ever seemed to feel anymore was when she went to church with Kitty.

One night, everything changed. A group of friends at work invited her to this club, and since she felt oddly energetic for once, she decided to go. It turned out to be a, uh, lesbian strip club? Sam didn’t even know those existed. And while she had debated her sexuality for a while, being surrounded by all those women definitely put some things into the light. And when her coworkers urged her to let loose and try out the amateur night challenge, she figured, well, why not? She wasn’t much of a dancer, but she was really attractive, and, hey, she couldn’t say no after she saw all the tips the amateurs were getting.

Sam hit the stage and, much to her surprise, made a ton of money. Like, more than the others. And when she got off stage, the owner actually handed her an application. Part of her was sure that this was all so wrong, but another part of her pointed out that God works in mysterious ways. So Sam filled out the application and started buying lingerie.

Sam was sure to tell her roommates this, and she was amazed at how truly understanding they were about the whole thing. Kitty was a bit skeptical at first, but they eventually talked it out, and Rachel just said something about “sex positive feminism” which Sam didn’t quite understand.

Of course, when her parents called, she just told them she was working overnight shifts at Target and had gotten a pay raise for the work. The idea of her parents knowing their responsible oldest daughter was taking off her clothes for work, or, worse, Stacey and Stevie finding out, scared her. They still looked up to her and constantly called her for advice. She didn’t know what she’d do if they found out about it. There was no way her family would understand.

Anyways, after about a year of working there while Rachel and Kitty went to school, things started to gel pretty well between the three of them. On one particular night that Sam had off, she started to play guitar. Rachel started singing along and Kitty joined in as well. Rachel suggested they start a band and while they all laughed at first, they soon found themselves planning it out.

See, Sam could play guitar and Rachel could play piano and was, of course, a singer, seeing as how she was majoring in musical theater. Kitty knew how to play drums after being forced into band as a kid, and she could easily afford to buy a new drum kit and take up some more lessons.

Before Sam knew it, the whole band thing became a reality. They started with some covers mostly, but Rachel soon started working with Sam on putting her writing to music, and the songs weren’t even half bad. Over the years they started to get some gigs and their songs improved even more. Once they got some solid songs under their belt, sometime after Kitty and Rachel had graduated college, Kitty got in contact with her cousin, Quinn Fabray, a member of The Sirens, and pulled some strings to get them an audition for their label.

With a lot of practice, they managed to actually pull off the audition and were given a contract and a manager and Rachel even got to collab with The Sirens. Their debut album, From Afar, took off with a lot of success, the numbers only increasing once they were signed up as The Sirens’ opening acts on their upcoming world tour.

Oh, and the whole stripping thing? Sam gave her two weeks as soon as the record contract was signed.

However, she still has a creeping suspicion someone in the media will find out. And if her family, the people she’s worked so hard to make proud all her life, or her fans or her new friends ever find out, she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to forgive herself.

♫ The rumors are terrible and cruel, ♫

Kitty Wilde: One of the things that helped Sam get a place with her roommates was Kitty’s religious background. There was a Bible on their bookshelf, and Sam couldn’t stop herself from pointing it out and quoting some of her favorite passages. Kitty was thoroughly impressed. After that, they would wake up and go to church together every Sunday and the two often ended up discussing religion and what it all really meant together. Sam always thought her family was religious, but they definitely weren’t like the Wildes. Kitty still suffered from a lot of issues that came with such a repressive household, and Sam did her best to help by sharing her more loving version of God with her. Sam knows Kitty still feels some guilt over some of her supposed sins, but Sam has seen her make a ton of progress.

Sabrina Smythe: As much as both Sabrina and Sam pretend to only have met in the past year, Sam has known her for a while. Of course, neither of them knew each other’s real names, because, yeah, okay, Sabrina was one of Sam’s most frequent customers and not when she worked at Target, that was for sure. On one of Sam’s first nights, Sabrina was up front and center, handing her a large bill and giving her this look that gave her shivers. And while Sam was just “White Chocolate” to Sabrina and Sabrina was just “Big Spender” to Sam in her head, the two definitely saw a lot of each other at that club, often in private rooms, and sometimes a few things that weren’t completely club rules were allowed. At first Sam thought Sabrina didn’t recognize her; after all, Sam’s usual flannel and jeans outfits and bare make up contrasted to those skimpy outfits and glitter-coated skin back at the bar. But Sabrina talked to her in private and made it clear that she knew who she was. Sabrina tried passing them off to another manager, but it looked too suspicious and she ended up keeping Divine Influence under her control. Both of them still haven’t told anyone else their secret -- no one besides Sam’s bandmates and Sabrina even know about her old job -- and Sabrina is working extra hard at keeping Sam’s old job out of the papers for both of their sakes. She even got Sam’s old co-workers to sign confidentiality agreements. So now Sam just has to ignore the remaining attraction she has to her, which...hasn’t really worked so far.

Rachel Berry: When Sam first moved in with Kitty and Rachel, she bonded right away with Kitty. Rachel, however, was a different story. They didn’t fight or anything, but Rachel seemed a bit...weird around her. But then the band started and things seemed to work out well. They started joking around and having meaningful talks, just like she did with Kitty. Rachel even gave Sam a few moves to do at her job, which helped a lot. Of course, Rachel did them much better than Sam and looked much better doing them. Then again, Sam’s pretty sure Rachel would look great doing anything, but that’s another story. That story is only complicated by the fact that Sam has noticed Sabrina slipping Rachel away from the group, talking to her more, and even putting a hand on her back every now and then. Sam wants to believe it’s nothing because Sabrina went on a big rant about how they would all be professional. But, well, maybe Sabrina just isn’t interested in having an ex-stripper as anything more than that...

Blair Anderson: Sam met Blair a few times because of Rachel’s shows at UCLA, and they’ve gotten along pretty well. Blair’s so, so sweet, and she’s so good, too. Honestly, Sam doesn’t get how Rachel can give so many notes since Blair always sounds so great in rehearsal. Sam is sure to tell her that. And since they’ve been in rehearsals and all, they’ve actually become pretty good friends. Like, actually good friends. They’ve joked about taking over the #KittyKat videos and making BLAM Attacks or something dumb like that. Whatever, it would totally work. They have a lot of fun together and tend to just goof off in their hotel room and watch dumb movies and just have fun together. And if she’s noticed Blair might have a crush on her, she really hasn’t let it on yet.

Norah Puckerman: Sam has always loved comic books, Star Wars, video games, and various “nerdy” things. And as much as she loves Rachel and Kitty, neither of them really enjoyed talking about that stuff. So when Norah casually mentioned Mario Kart once, Sam asked her more about it and suddenly Norah was ranting at her about shells and banana peels and Rainbow Road. It was definitely something Sam didn’t expect from someone like Norah, since she was all smooth and cocky and all. Those talks turned into the latest Star Wars movies and the upcoming comic book adaptations and Norah’s huge crush on Gal Gadot. The two of them have since become peas in a pod and are often found talking about all of those things and Norah has even joined in on some of the impressions (though, really, she’s not as good at them).

Marley Rose: With all the paired up promotions the two bands have done, plus the fact that they were going to tour together, it only made sense for both bands to get to know each other. As Sam started to get to know Marley, Sam realized they had a lot of things in common, such as growing up rather poor -- though Marley ended up having more stability once she moved in with her cousin. Still, they had a lot of fun talking and they developed a nice sense of humor between each other. Lately Sam has noticed that Marley is laughing at her impressions more and more, when normally people start laughing less. Part of her wonders if Marley has a crush on her -- and if she does, that really sucks because of, well, the whole Kitty thing.

Fiona Hudson: Fiona, much like Norah, is someone Sam has gotten along with really easily. They talk about comic book movies and junk food and music like they’ve known each other for years. And since Sam cares about family so much and can’t do anything about the Puckerdrama that Norah doesn’t know about, Sam is ready to help Fiona with Kat, which, okay, maybe she can’t do much about. Still, she’s willing to try, and she’s at least willing to listen. Oh, and having someone else who didn’t graduate from college on tour with her? It’s really nice. It’s nice not to feel like an idiot with someone, since, well, Sam tends to feel like everyone looks down on her.

Kat Hummel: Honestly, Sam really likes Kat. They don’t get to hang out that often or anything, but they’re definitely friends, at least in Sam’s book. And, hey, Kat loves her Bella Swan impression, so Sam does it whenever possible around her to make her laugh. Seeing as Sam gets along with Marley and Kitty, two girls Kat is fairly close to, she assumes the two of them are good enough friends. Sam can be a bit oblivious to what’s happening around her, but it’s not like Kat hates her or anything, right?

Jackie Puckerman: Okay, so, for a while, the only person who knew about Sam’s past job thing were her bandmates and Sabrina, and Sabrina was the only one who knew about how frequent of a customer she was. But then Jackie overheard a conversation on it, and now...now it’s hard. Jackie knows something so secret about her, but, okay, Sam knows a secret about Jackie as well, and it’s one she wishes she didn’t know. At all. Norah is her friend and she hates lying to her so much. She keeps trying to get Jackie to tell her since the guilt is honestly weighing on her so heavily and she just wants all the secrets out in the open. Or, well, at least Jackie’s. Hopefully she can keep it in until Jackie tells Norah herself, and hopefully Norah won’t be mad when she finds out that Sam knew.

Santana Lopez: In all honesty, Sam doesn’t know what to make of Santana. She does her job well and, really, she’s kind of like Sabrina in a weird way, since she’s all about business and can be too honest for her own good. Well, at least now. But Sam hasn’t talked to her much. She just knows that Santana looks at her kind of weirdly. Sam is, of course, completely unaware that Santana knows about her past job as a stripper...

Quinn Fabray: Sam has always been insecure about her intelligence. Quinn, of course, has never had to feel that way, or Sam assumes so, because she’s really smart. And normally Sam wouldn’t be bothered by that -- both Rachel and Kitty are smart, after all, as is Sabrina and most of the tour members. But Quinn has this way of saying things that make her feel so stupid. For example, one of the first times they met, Quinn asked Sam where she went to college. Sam said she hadn’t gone, and the look on Quinn’s face said everything. Maybe it’s all in her head, but she feels like Quinn looks down on her and is always trying to teach her things that she already knows. Sam’s pretty, but she ain’t dumb, okay? Just because she didn’t go to college or she spells things wrong doesn’t mean she’s dumb, but she feels dumb whenever Quinn tries to tell her some new fact or corrects her grammar or spelling.

♫ But, honey, most of them are true ♫

What have you done so far with the money you’ve made?

[answer here]

Do you regret your former job?

[answer here]

JBI asks: Would you rather your band’s songs appear in a DC or Marvel movie?

[answer here]

#sam evans #samantha evans #bio #c #divine influence #switched #t #se

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houstonlocalus-blog · 7 years

Text

Let’s Go Skate: Tommy Guerrero

Tommy Guerrero. Photo: Claudine Gossett

In my earliest teens I had so many friends who I had no idea at the time were just a couple of years away from the end of their lives. It felt like every year I lost another friend and skateboarding was what kept me out of the troublesome things that they had all gotten into. Though my first deck was a Hosoi, the first deck I bought was a Powell Peralta Tommy Guerrero model. Watching the Bones Brigade videos and reading the mags, guys like Tommy Guerrero were the ones I could relate to the most. Skating the streets, hopping off of jump ramps, and just using curbs, ditches, and pretty much any terrain we could find, it always felt like Guerrero was the one Brigade member I wanted to emulate the most. When I reached out to him, I had no idea that I’d actually hear back. Though Guerrero literally helped shape my teens through his skating, he’s been a busy guy since that time and he never really seems to look back. Co-founder of Real Skateboards, an accomplished and critically acclaimed musician, and former art director for Krooked Skateboards — under the Deluxe Distribution brand who distributes Spitfire Wheels, Thunder and Venture Trucks, as well as Krooked, Anti Hero, and Real Skateboards — Guerrero doesn’t ever seem to slow down. It’s refreshing to see someone who just lives in the moment and who incorporates all of his past and his present into his future. Free Press Houston was more than thrilled to sit down with him and talk about all he’s done, all he does, and all he has in the works for the future.

Free Press Houston: You grew up in San Francisco where Thrasher is based, do you see San Francisco as the birthplace of street skating?

You won the first street contest as an amateur, and you and Gonz both had pro models come out in 1985, but which one came out first?

Tommy Guerrero: I don’t think San Francisco is the birthplace, but because of Thrasher being here they just reported on it more. Things are happening simultaneously throughout the world, so who’s to say where the birthplace of street skating is. We never really had a skatepark here after South Bay closed in 1980, so we just skated the streets cause’ that’s all we had. Not many people in San Francisco have backyards or at least yards big enough for a ramp, so we skated street just based off of geography and necessity. The terrain alone of San Fran made us ride street more than anything else.

Mark and I were the first to turn professional for street skating specifically, but I don’t know if his board came out before mine or not, so I don’t know who was first. But you know, Lance [Mountain], [John] Lucero, and Neil [Blender] were all skating street before us. They were just known more for vert skating.

FPH: I know you don’t really get nostalgic, but when you were doing the Bones Brigade stuff, as it was happening, did it seem as revolutionary as it became known for?

Guerrero: We weren’t conscious of it at the time, we were just skating. Thrasher and Powell got behind it so hard, which is what really pushed it. I mean, when things happen, you’re in the moment, so it didn’t seem revolutionary at all back then.

FPH: I’ve heard stories about skaters saying “Tommy bought us beers” or your (Mike) McGill smoking hash story. I know the other guys were seen as “choir boys” by some of the other skaters of the time, but you guys drank and smoked out, right?

Guerrero: No one did hard drugs, but we weren’t “choir boys” either. Mostly just beer and occasionally weed, but that’s it.

FPH: You and Jim [Thiebaud] started Real Skateboards in 1991, how big of a leap of faith was it to start your own brand back then?

Guerrero: It was huge. We had no idea what we were doing in the beginning other than to just skate and stick to what we believed in. Fausto [Vitello] and Eric Swenson gave us the money to order like our first 300 boards, or maybe it was 100, I forget. Coming from Powell, I was paid off of royalties at a dollar a deck and that was it. So coming into Real and taking a two thirds pay cut wasn’t easy, but I did it because I wanted to stay in skating for the rest of my life and it was important to do.

FPH: You guys have a pretty stellar team including possibly one of the greatest street skaters currently riding, Dennis Busenitz. I see Busenitz and you having a lot in common where you both are tying two eras together, have you ever seen that as a common thing between you two before?

Guerrero: I’ve never really seen that, but the guys today stand out in two big ways being that they’re so technical and that they’re so consistent with their tricks. Some of these guys are gnarly and effortless in how they come up with different variations of tricks. When we first learned kickflips, we figured there were about thirty different ways to do them, These guys today blow me away with how they can just keep taking things to the next level. Because so many of them came into skating so recently, their starting point is off the charts already. It only makes sense that they’d have the green light to just go nuts with it.

FPH: I know you do art direction for the brands of Deluxe, do you still do graphics work or is it just taking what the artists work on and getting it to have the overall look that you want? Who’s idea was it to do the Trump deck?

Guerrero: I was doing Krooked hands on where Mark [Gonzales] would just send me the art and I’d handle the layout and the marketing of it all with the overall look and feel of the brand. But the repetitive stress in my arms and in my hands along with being in front of the computer all day is not my place in this world. So that all took a backseat years ago, and we have a really talented team of artists today. So Jim will show me stuff and I’ll put in my two cents but that’s about it.

Jim came up with that one. He really likes to fuck with establishment.

Tommy Guerrero in Japan. Photo: Claudine Gossett

FPH: Your grandfather was a jazz musician, you and your brother had a punk band that played with Bad Brains, DOA, and more; does it feel like music has helped shape who you are in more ways than one?

Guerrero: Yeah, completely. Because skating and punk were still new back then with outcasts in both worlds. With punk you didn’t need lessons, you didn’t need to learn “Louie Louie,” and you didn’t need a past in music, you just need that DIY energy. When you’re a kid, when things are just fucked up, skating and punk back then were like saying, “fuck you” to the jocks and the people who beat you up. Because when they’d come into our world, they were the outcasts, but we were the outcasts in the everyday world. I can’t say this enough, but back then, skating was not cool. The two worlds go hand in hand because skating and music are both built off of acceptance from your friends. Music was another form of expression, and in a way, we’re all fuck ups. But when you’re with your kind, things are just better. Skaters see the world in a different way just in how we look at a red painted curb. Every one else sees it as a red curb and that’s it, but a skater sees it as fun for hours. We have seen friends die young while we grew up throwing ourselves into the ground for fun. We’re different. Not many people wanna’ fall down for a living.

FPH: Your solo work feels like my impression of who you are in everything you do. There’s a flow to it, especially on this last solo album, 2015’s Perpetual where it feels like who you are in that moment while embodying the vibe of the bay area. Is that the goal, for it to be a flowing entity that exists in that moment and time?

Guerrero: To be honest, a lot of the time I have an idea of how to approach it. On that one, I wanted to steer away from making an album in front of a computer, moving wav files around. So I bought an eight track Tascam, and worked within the limitations of what I had in front of me. The album before that one was darker and less open, so I wanted something with a sixties drum machine, a floor tom, and a surf almost desert rock guitar sound.

FPH: The most recent album, Concrete Jungle from your group with Ray [Barbee] & Chuck [Treece], Blktop Project is all improvised correct? Was that the plan from the start, to just go in and see what comes out?

Guerrero: We had a day and a half to record, because Ray is super busy, so we worked loosely on ideas and grooves. We set up in a live room of the recording studio and the foundation of the album we did like it was a rehearsal. We wrote a bunch on the spot, but that made it better I think because it was a challenge. I go back and listen to it now and there are things on it that are really great moments.

FPH: I know you just toured Japan doing solo sets and DJ sets, do you see the DJ sets becoming something you’ll start doing on the regular?

Guerrero: I’ve been spinning records for a long time now. I have a friend who has a killer record collection who lets me borrow things, and since I turned 45, I decided to only spin 45’s. I don’t use a Serrato or anything, but I wanted the tour to have a party atmosphere. So I did the solo sets with just me and some looper pedals. I wanted to spin the 45’s with a social type of gathering where I could do something different to change it up and keep it interesting for me and the crowd. Because I go there alot and I really just wanted it to be a different experience for them so I don’t wear out my welcome by coming back again and again and doing the same ol’ things. I also wanted to challenge myself by mixing it up.

FPH: How did BS with TG become a thing?

Guerrero: I’d been talking about it for a while. I love a good story, just BS ing with characters, especially skaters. I love Steve Olson, and I’ve gotten to where I can get someone to just tell me story. Originally I had planned to do it in a bar, you know how people will tell a bartender anything? That’s the look I had in mind and I had a friend who was gonna’ let me use his bar, but it was complicated so I just got a camera and Frank [Gerwer] and we just did it. He’s such a funny guy and so it made sense to use him for it. It’s hard to have consistency because all of our videographers are all out shooting skaters.

FPH: Are there dream guests for you or is it just a shoot from the hip thing on who does it?

Guerrero: Well, I’ve kind of gotten them all already. I mean getting Mark [Gonzales], everyone in the skate community knows that there’s no one else like Mark. He’s such a good guy and I’ve seen him give people the shirt off of his back before, literally. He’s so funny and he has such great stories, plus knowing for so long I’ve gotten to see him through all of the incarnations of his life. Back when he’d come to my mom’s house she’d even be like “your friend Mark is a funny guy.” I mean, I got Natas [Kaupus], the white unicorn of skating who never does interviews, Eric Dressen and Tony [Hawk], too. I’d like to get Neil [Blender] and I really wanna’ do Ed Templeton but I wanna’ go down to where he is to do it. [John] Cardiel is someone else I’d like to interview and [Geoff] Rowley just because he does what he does and just doesn’t give a fuck. I went and did that one with Matt Hensley and we didn’t really talk about Flogging Molly, so I’d like to do a second one with him. I mean, there are too many people in our history that I’d like to do but I’m unprepared. I’m so fucked and I’m not the most organized person.

FPH: You’ve lived a life under a lens, you come off as a guy who looks forwards and never backwards, but if you had the chance to go back and tell your younger self anything, what would it be?

Guerrero: Don’t be so stupid.

It’s insane and inspiring that Tommy Guerrero never seems to stop. Between recording albums, playing shows, and running a skateboard company he still has the time to live in the moment without ever looking back. You can find Real Skateboards at pretty much any professional skate shop, you can find his solo albums and work with Blktop Project in all of the digital outlets, and you can catch new episodes of BS With TG here on Youtube. While he’s not one to relish the “good ole days,” he definitely doesn’t look on all he’s done without humility and grace. Possibly one of the most humble guys you could meet, he’s definitely someone to admire as much today as he was thirty years ago.

Let’s Go Skate: Tommy Guerrero this is a repost

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