#but she feels young. and in between the uti pain she seems normal. but so much of her life now is sleeping and crying in pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mycptsdrecovery · 2 years

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When I was a kid I had a pediatrician who hurt me. For years I thought that he was just doing his job. When I finally broke down and confessed to my mom years after the fact, she told me that he'd just been checking me for a UTI. I want to believe that, but at the same time, I clearly did not want the 'exam' and he continued. He used a needle and I just remember feeling pain and confusion because I didn't even know what that part of my body was yet.

I remember other people being in the room and he had gloves on, and it feels stupid to be traumatized by this if it is really just medical, but at the same time it feels like such and excessive, unneeded exam for a child around 6.

I feel lost because what if it was normal? Or, what if he did more that I don't remember? I always flip flop between thinking it's CSA and thinking I'm over reacting.

He did other things to me around that time that looking back were definitely sexual in nature, and I just feel so sick that he ever touched me. I still have a piggy bank with my name on it that he gave me when I was a kid in my closet, and it sickens me to even think about. For years I thought I just hated him for no reason, and it took me a long time to look back at all of this and realize that I shouldn't have been treated that way.

it sounds like regardless if the exam was necessary (and the exam he did doesn't seem necessary, like i've gone to the dr for a uti and they've never used a needle?? also it would be so embarrassing to have people in the room too, especially at such a young age), it was traumatizing. that's also strange that he gave you a gift... doctors shouldn't be giving kids personal gifts. i'm really sorry you went through this and that your mom was so dismissive. i know people who have also had medical trauma as a child and i can't imagine how awful it must be to have gone through something like that with an authority figure who should've been there to protect you.

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anarchxst · 4 years

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A message from my best friend:

This is Bagheera.

He is 6 years old and he has been my cat for the last 3 years. Bagheera is a neutered male house panther who loves to get into trouble and climbs onto my shoulder to perch there whenever I try to pick him up.

On Monday, August 17th, Bagheera started urinating on one of the dog's blankets in my living room. I had seen him in the litterbox earlier not long before so I knew something was wrong especially after he urinated for the longest time and when I went to pick up the blanket, it had only been dripped on a little bit. I put the blanket back down and within the next thirty minutes, he was doing this more frequently with very little results.

I called my vet and got him in to be seen that same afternoon. They told me he had a UTI and that there were crystals in his urine. They did an exam, urinalysis (cystocentesis), convenia injection for feline less than 20lbs, injection pain medication, Buprinex to go home, and something else for 15.99 that is labeled "Adult Feline 1-6 Years #4." The total bill was $255.27. They sent him home with instructions to give his medicine and switch to Hill's Science Diet and keep an eye on him.

I took Bagheera home around 5pm and got settled in with him on our "cattio" and locked the cat door so that he couldn't interact with the dogs and our other cat wouldn't bother him. He already spends most of his time on the cattio, so this is a safe/comfortable/familiar place for him. Throughout the evening, Bagheera was restless, constantly pacing and squatting to pee. I checked and checked but he wasn't producing any urine. I thought maybe his bladder was just empty and like humans, he just feels the need to pee even if not much is in there. He was still eating at this time and drinking water but just couldn't seem to settle.

By 10pm I decided to take him to the emergency vet and was told he had an obstruction. The total for his overnight stay cost us $1460.50. They did an examination - emergency, emergency fee, biohazard - level 1, CBC, chemistry panel, urinalysis complete, pancreatic cPL snap test, radiograph - two views with interpretation, buprinex injection for <25 lbs, midazolam injection, IV Cateter - cephalic, IV Fluid Plasmalyte A 1000ml, IV fluid set up, IV fluid pump/day, Hospitalization - Level III, Potassium Chloride Inj, U Cath-blocked w/indwell. catheter, suture per pack, cerenia injection <22 lbs, pantoprazole injection, dexdomitor injection, propofol injection, oxygen therapy 1st hour, laser therapy - bladder, medication admin (prazosin), medication admin (gabapentin), antisedan injection, and e-collar clic 12.5. They kept him until they closed then had him transferred back to my regular vet with the catheter still in place but unhooked from his fluids and such.

He stayed the whole day Tuesday, August 18th with my regular vet and kept things the same, this cost us $142.37 for injection pain medication, admin medication fee-boarding, fluid pump set-up, hospitalized care <20 lbs, hospitalized patient exam, biohazard disposal fee, C/D feline multicare chx 5.5oz cans, C/D feline multicare ocean fish 5.5oz (those last two are canned foods that they gave me to take with). At this time he was still eating and his pee was still a little bit bloody but wasn't looking too bad. They had gotten his temperature back up (it had been down while at the overnight vet during all his treatment).

He has a significant heart murmur which I admittedly know little about other than we have to consider treatment plans and injections carefully based on that but it sounded like that was partially why his temperature had dropped below normal while the emergency vet had him overnight. Tuesday night he went back to the overnight vet. At this point he was peeing around the catheter so they decided to take it out. He peed well all night long although it was a little bloody which is normal. By Wednesday morning they felt he would be good to go home! Our vet bill for this overnight stay was $468.45 for his examination - emergency, emergency fee, biohazard - level 1, CBC, chemistry panel, cerenia injection (<22lbs), pantoprazole injection, buprenex injection (<25 lbs), medication admin (pt meds), IV fluid pump/day, hospitalization - level II. We got a 10% discount on this stay due to the transfer straight from our vet, which was nice. Wednesday morning, August 19th, he came home.

I had hoped he was in the clear given how well he did overnight. But we went back onto the cattio and he was again pacing and peeing every few minutes with VERY little coming out. After about 3.5 hours of this I decided to take him back to my regular vet. He spent the day there and they tried getting another catheter in but were unable to. They were also worried about damaging his urethra and it already has a slight tear after everything he's already been through. The day stay was $166.38 and that was for C/D FelineUrinary Stress Chx Feline #4, Hospitalized Care <20lbs, examination recheck, anesthesia iso per min. (for when they attempted the catheter).

It was then suggested to me to try taking him home to see how he does overnight. The vet did something to where she withdrew urine from the bladder using a needle and she felt that all the stress hopping between vets wasn't helping at all. She suggested I take him home for Wednesday evening and see if he can work through the obstruction because sometimes they can and sometimes they can't. So I did that and set him up in my room for the night. I gave him his meds and he was pretty sleepy from the combination of Gabapentin & Prazosin. He would occasionally get up from where he was laying down and go to the litterbox to pee but nothing came out. Then he would lay down again and sleep some more. The whole night was like this. By morning we were both miserable because I was trying to hold out for the vet to open and Bagheera was sore & sad looking. He was not pacing anymore. He just looked so done.

I took him back to my regular vet Thursday, August 20th and that is where he is now. I do not currently have a quote for his stay but they were able to get the catheter in today and he will be spending the night.

However he is going to need P U Surgery.

I have never been one to ask for donations, I never thought in my life I would have to do this. I have used CareCredit, ScratchPay, and MaxLend, as well as my own funds to get me through these several few days. Everything has cost me a total of 2326.59. It has been an overwhelming nightmare dealing with the stress & not knowing. We could take him off the catheter and he might be fine but given how quickly he reobstructed the last time we did that, there is a very high likelihood that he reobstructs again. His best chance is this surgery but we received a quote that it would cost $3500-4500. I definitely CANNOT afford that on my own. I have about 1k left to give and that's not including what today and tonight costs at my regular vet.

If you can give anything to help, even just a dollar, we would appreciate it so much! I have no intentions of giving up on Bagheera and am doing everything I can to make sure the funds are there so that I can continue seeing him through this UTI. If you cannot donate, even just sharing this would go a long way! I am not ready to say goodbye to my cat. He is way too young. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. All donations will be going to Bagheera's care. Thank you SO much.

#cats #black cats #catblr #cute cats #catlover #bagheera #long post

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kaylabliss · 7 years

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Medical shit

My new rheumatologist, upon inspecting me at our first appointment this morning:

"Wow! You have tiny hands!"

"You've got a very small throat.... And your neck is really short."

Gee, anything else you want to point out? 😂

He was genuinely surprised by my hands, but he had a purpose for commenting on my throat and neck-- he feels almost positive that I have sleep apnea, even though it was previously ruled out with an at home sleep study. His opinion is that home sleep studies are "total crap." He said that if I don't have sleep apnea, then mild narcolepsy is a possibility. So he referred me for an in-house sleep study.

I haven't given any health updates in a long time because there frankly hasn't been anything to update on. After seeing the rheumatologist at Group Health and getting nowhere, not even given treatment for my symptoms, I got depressed and gave up. But now I'm getting a second opinion, and it sounds like he'll still follow me for fibromyalgia even if we still don't turn up anything autoimmune.

As a refresher, or for anyone curious who wasn't following me at the time, in 2015/2016 I had a positive ANA, which is the primary marker for autoimmune disorders. I had gone in because I started having severe unexplainable foot and hand/wrist pain. Follow up with a rheumatologist showed only mildly elevated markers for autoimmune disorder (sed rate and CRP, but all the primary markers were negative). (Also note: this is how I made the transition from Fitblr to shitposter, because I couldn't exercise anymore due to the increased severity of my symptoms.)

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 22 by an ARNP who refused to do blood tests or refer me to anyone because I was uninsured (and being long before the ACA, I didn't qualify for any kind of insurance). She wasn't even familiar with fibromyalgia, but I told her that my mom was just diagnosed and she had the same symptoms as me, so she downloaded a trigger point chart from the internet and poked at me before saying "it looks like you do have fibromyalgia, but I don't believe that actually exists." She put it in my chart anyway. She ordered Savella and they had me start the paperwork to get it free from the manufacturer, but they lost my paperwork. I never did get any treatment, or even advice, and had to find my own way (fortunately my mom helped since she was getting proper care for her fibro... From the same doctor's office, oddly).

Because of the way I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, plus the positive ANA (which would not be present in fibro alone), I was really questioning whether it was fibro to begin with. But my new doctor did confirm that I definitely have fibro, regardless of whether I also have an autoimmune disorder. It's comforting to have that diagnosis made official by a doctor who actually believes it's a legitimate syndrome. He even went over the new markers they've found in brain scans and spinal fluids.

So we're rechecking my ANA, CRP, ESR, TSH, plus new CBC and metabolic panels, plus a urine test (which is good because I've been having pain in my kidney area, and last time that happened it was because I had a kidney infection caused by a UTI). If anything other than the ANA comes up abnormal, we'll set up an immediate appointment. If everything comes up normal, I've got an appointment in November for follow-up.

If everything is negative and we do the November appointment, I'm going to request drug therapy at that time. I need something to control the pain. I was taking way too much ibuprofen and had to stop because it was making my reflux worse, so I switched to Tylenol but that does jack shit. I have a stash of morphine for when I get unbearable pain. I take magnesium and such. So if I could get Cymbalta or Lyrica, and maybe a stronger muscle relaxer (I have methocarbamol and it does nothing... Used to have cyclobenzaprine but it knocks me out for two solid days, so I need something in between), that would be great.

I really really love this rheumatologist, he seems amazing. I tend to have a lot of problems with doctors, many assume I'm a drug seeker because I'm young and complaining about pain, but he doesn't seem to have that bias. I'm looking forward to working with him.

#fibromyalgia #autoimmune #health #personal

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