#but regardless i have a really rigid acceptance that im on my own through life

[hella1975]

Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long I’ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but I’m a bit on the other side now and can tell you you’re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and it’s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie 🫶

reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL

#IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE I PROMISE I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST POSITIVE OF WAYS #because it just made me really reflective ig? like so much of my life and so many of my issues surround this huge isolation #either ive been made to feel isolated or ive used isolation as a coping mechanism or even that i romanticised my own capacity for it #but regardless i have a really rigid acceptance that im on my own through life #and as a kid that was terrifying and was probably what got me in my head so much #like staring at the enormity of it all and going 'i am alone. i am a singular vessel whose intricacies are inaccessible to anyone else' #and that is TERRIFYING. and yes while it will always be true to an extent ive realised it doesnt have to be entirely #you can share yourself with others and find love in that and friendships and it's taken me years but this year more than any #i feel like ive finally come out of a very long dark tunnel and no one else around me has any idea that any of this is a big deal to me #bc they never had any idea what i was going through #but like?? at some point or another you guys started tagging along and i overshared a shit ton lmao #and a lot of you have been here for YEARS and like. wtf you're RIGHT ive taken you guys along with me for everything #my sexuality crisis my writing journey getting a new job starting uni going into second year making and losing friendships #testing out romance listening to music watching new shows. like every part of myself that's too small and silly to share irl is something #i tell you guys without a second thought like i started this when i was SEVENTEEN and now im twenty you guys have acc watched me grow #im so emotional over this esp bc lately ive focussed mainly on the DOWNSIDES of me being online in these years #idk i needed this more than you know bestie tysm for sticking by my side and same for the rest of you <3 ily ily ily #ask