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#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand
opens-up-4-nobody
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1 year
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#unprecedented emotions in this body o mine. like. this may b surprising given the amount of bitching i do on this website
#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand
#and again this is prob my fault but ive come to the conclusion that fuck these custom chambers. fuck the amount of work that went into them
#fuck all of this. im not fucking using them. i will sit here with this one fucking bryophite chamber if it takes me all goddam day bc at
#least i fucking trust the values. that means ill have to split up measurements by 2 days but fuck u im right abt this
#the solution is: u cant fucking do 98 samples at once. that it. im sorry. fuck u
#and i would probably have come to this conclusion earlier if i had thr time to test but doing it all rught now with no fucking room for
#grace makes it very fucking clear. so idk. im not fucking using the chambers. and im not looking forward to explaining this to my boss
#bc shes so excited abt this project that i have been dreading since its conception. i started with the 3 chambers and it was somehow
#even more awful than i would have imagined. fuck that. 2 or 3 fucking weeks of this
#and im not even getting paid for all the extra work i do bc i don't get overtime. im not even technically allowed to work weekends or over
#40hrs a week. im just doinf this bc im already so miserable why thr fuck not.
#hhhhh im being such a brat abt this for real. ugh but i dont wanna meet with my boss
#bc this feels like the time where i have to explain that like. listen. u know that thing im really good at and have spent fucking hour and
#hours and hours and hours of time doing? well its catastrophically destructive to my brain and thats whats landed us here
#where im so fucking fed up that i wanna quit. clean cut and never work with this stuff ever again
#and if i have to use the 3 chambers i might die. i might just evaporate away into a million pieces bc i dont wanna deal with this
#but i dont wanna explain that bc then shell feel bad and this isnt her fault. i have an issue thats out of my control and im letting it
#devour me whole so like 🤷♂️ its my fault bleh
#whatever. itll be fine. ive got a coherent argument as to why this is too much. and i kno im fucking right so there it is
#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening
#and there it is. it either u can fix it or u cant. thats it. u deal with the things in ur control
#lol at least im not alone to stew in my anger. im working with 2 other ppl today. so i mean i say that im fucking furious bc im visual fine
#lol bc im a patient and level headed person irl im just really whiney online bc i have no outlet. so itll b fine. decision made now we just
#deal with it. ugh but how tf am i gonna distract myself from how miserable this is all day? thats the real question
#brain gets Interrupted ever 5 min bleh agony
#unrelated
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