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#but it's very clear they were not great caretakers for Steven
sullina · 1 month
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Steven universe future episode 15 "Mr. Universe" starting with Greg and Steven going on a roadtrip to the tune of "dear old dad" and ending with Steven deleting the old yearbook photo off his phone.
I just love this kind of extreme contrast.
the episode starts with Steven genuinely believing that his dad might be able to help him after what undoubtedly feels like an eternity of a confusing and aimless hell for Steven (as having a mental illness tends to be).
Finally, something to help him get better.
Only to realize how terrible he really had it. He says it himself. "I grew up in a van! I've never even been to a doctor until two days ago!" along with how he never went to school on top of that, when Gregs parents, Stevens grandparents, were "right here".
This is the episode that Steven (and also I) realized that while Greg loved him dearly, he was not cut out to be a father. Or at least, he didn't know how to be a father, how to properly care for a child.
Gregs parents were extremely strict, according to Greg himself, and Greg obviously didn't want to be like them, but he overcorrected into the opposite direction: total freedom. But children need boundaries and rules. Not so many as to be suffocating, but at least some structure to learn what was safe to do and what wasn't.
That last part did not exactly apply to Stevens childhood. We never see his early childhood, but from the start of the first show, Steven is exposed to genuinely traumatizing danger over and over and over (as shown in the "Growing pains" episode, where Steven goes to the hospital and recounts all the traumatizing stuff that happened to him to Connies mom, Dr. Maheswaran). Steven knew what was dangerous, but he never seemed to learn what "safe" really was, considering not just Steven himself, but his home and family and friends were often under attack. Not to mention all of the physical injuries he got. Steven never really got away from just about any dangerous situation with "just" a bruise. He could have died, and he knows this. Any danger he's faced has been potentially lethal. This is not healthy, but the consequences only show up later.
But as a child, he either wasn't 100% aware of that fact, or decided to just subconsciously shove it down and not think about it ("not thinking about the bad stuff" is also a confirmed coping mechanism for young steven, as shown in "mindful education", the episode that features the song "here comes a thought"). But young steven only felt bad about the stuff that he couldn't do for others. The bad stuff that happened to himself didn't really seem to register, because there was always something more important going on, and even when there wasn't, no one ever checked in on Steven afterwards. Everyone just assumed he was okay, and that was it. Even Steven himself.
When there wasn't a (usually life-threatening) mission going on, Steven was very often left to his own devices. And that extends beyond just mission stuff. I don't think we've ever seen anyone actually cook for Steven. Whenever he eats, it's either some kind of take-out food, or food he made for himself. And it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it does send the message of "you're responsible for yourself, if you can't take care of yourself on your own, no one will do it for you". Add that and the fact that it was Steven who helped the Gems through their mental stuff (especially Pearl, especially when concerning anything related to Rose), I can't blame Steven for internalizing the message of "you're responsible for yourself and also everyone else (so all you're good for is helping others regardless of your own wellbeing, which is not important)"
And bringing it back around to Greg... Greg never had the courage for any sort of real confrontation. Initially, you can blame his own parents for that, if we assume that any attempt for Greg to properly assert himself was only ever met with more abuse than he was already subjected to by them. However, while the blame is not with Greg himself, as an adult, he is responsible for healing from that. But he didn't, and the consequences of this trauma are still there. Greg lived without any ability for serious confrontation and asserting himself by just... running away. He ran away from his parents with the van. And while he tried to reconnect with them later on with the letters, those letters were never opened. Greg probably never recieved a response from them, and he most likely didn't even visit to check on them, if the letters ever even arrived. Whenever there was gem-stuff involved, he ran away (quite literally), and in Steven Universe Future, when Steven crashed the van? He tells his son that he's proud of him for "telling him off", because he's glad that his own son can tell him anything.
Steven is distressed by this reaction. A lot.
And it's this reaction that tells him that Greg can't help him.
It's just such an odd reaction. You crash your dads van and he tells you he's proud of him? I mean what kind of reaction is that? You'd expect to be reprimanded. Or at least be asked something like "what the hell was that? Why did you do that?" But Greg didn't. He didn't confront his own son after crashing the very van he's built his life with. The only thing Greg did was make sure that Steven was alright physically.
And the next episode? The gems do reprimand Steven, but what for? For endangering his dad, who is a "fragile human". There was little to no concern for Steven himself. No "What was going on" or anything, just a "what were you thinking?" as if Steven crashed the van on purpose, which he didn't.
Steven never recieved any boundaries to keep him safe, and the only other family, the one he was actually living with, the Gems, most often left him completely alone unless there was a mission to complete. Steven mainly cared for his own self in his day to day life. He even seemed to do his own laundry a lot of the time, he was the one making sure he was fed at age 13 and up, likely also the one to make sure he had a personal hygiene routine. While we don't know about that last part, Greg wasn't living with Steven, and while i don't doubt he taught his son about personal hygiene, it was up to Steven himself to enforce it. If 13 year old Steven didn't feel like brushing his teeth some days, would anyone have made sure he did it anyway?
And what about education? We know Steven knows how to read and write and probably the basics of math as well. He knows the basics of what he needs to know, either taught to him by Greg or by Pearl, but anything beyond that? Physics? Chemistry? At least some basic science?
And not just education itself, school is also important to socializing, getting to know people of your own age group. Living at the temple, Steven was pretty much isolated. Sure, he knew people in town, but i don't think we ever see them actually visiting him, or him visiting anyone else just to hang out. And even when we do, it's pretty rare.
The closest thing Steven had to a friend his own age was Onion, and Onion is, well... he's Onion. And shown to commit legit crimes more than once. And Steven is often shown to be kind of scared of Onion, or at least uncomfortable around him. He takes it in stride, but I'm pretty sure if Steven ever thought about it properly, he would probably say that Onion freaked him out. Plus, Onion is much younger than Steven, seeing as Steven should be around the same age as Sour Cream (since they were both babies around the same time, though SC is probably a year or so older than Steven still).
Everyone around Steven was either his caretaker (who weren't very good at their job as proper guardian) or an acquaintance at best and likely unaware of what was going on with Steven at home.
Steven was isolated and neglected in vital parts of his upbringing, the best the gems did was making sure he didn't die, and Greg was no longer reliably around to make sure everything was alright, unless Steven came to him. And Steven was the one to take care of his guardians in their critical moments.
And still, Steven was a "good" child. He took care of his own physical human needs, with no one around to make sure that he did. When something bothered him, he took care of it himself. When others were bothered by something, Steven took care of them, too.
Even in battle, he tried to resolve everything peacefully when he could. When he couldn't, like with the corrupted gems, he fought when needed, to the best of his abilities. The more his powers came in, the more missions he could go on (the more time he could spend with the gems who were his family).
He made himself useful, not unlike a weapon: to be drawn when needed, and put away when not needed.
But he's not a weapon. He's an alive being with needs, emotional and physical. But the gems didn't seem to realize that. Greg wasn't properly caring for him like he should have. In the episode where Lapis steals the ocean, Greg even asks "is this what every mission is like for you, Steven? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you going on these anymore." (i think he was interrupted then, but that's pretty much what he said) Greg doesn't know what happens on these missions, and even when he expresses his dicomfort with his son being put in danger, nothing actually happens to make that stop. Stevens physical needs were taken care of by himself. His emotional needs were often disregarded, not only by the gems, but by himself as well.
He made himself small, bottling up his issues and not bothering anyone with them.
And everyone else just... let him. Just let that happen. Steven was fine, right? If he's not calling for help, then everything must be fine, right?
The gems and Greg only ever started to say something in SU Future, when it was pretty obvious that Steven was no longer alright. When the problems became harder and harder for Steven to hide.
And even when it was obvious that he wasn't alright, Steven himself kept insisting that he was fine, because he couldn't be not fine, he had to be fine, because he couldn't help others if he wasn't, and if he couldn't help others, then what was he good for-
In "Growing pains", when Steven goes to the hospital, Greg is actively forced to confront his son and assure him that he'll help, that he's there for him, and they will figure this out together. And things seem to look up for Steven. Well, until the next episode, when Greg shows him the solution that helped him when he was younger. When that didn't help Steven though, Greg tried to push it on him again. When Steven lashes out at how Greg messed up with caring for him, Greg completely fails to see it and keeps saying how Steven had "actual freedom".
But too much freedom isn't much different from utter neglect.
And even when Steven crashes the van, Greg still fails as a parent. Sure, Steven is alive, but he refuses to confront his emotional wellbeing, the real problem. Greg Universe runs away again. Like he did from any gem-related issue. Like he did from raising Steven as soon as the gems took over. Like he did from his own parents.
And because of this, he would never be able to help his son. He could never teach Steven how to cope, because Gregs only way of coping seemed to be "run away from your problem". But Steven could only run from his problems for so long. He bottled his problems up and internalized them, but that bottle was always gonna burst sooner or later, and then what? Steven couldn't run from himself, because wherever he went, he would always be there.
His own father couldn't help him.
The gems couldn't help him.
Literally the only adult who was able to give him any sort of help was Dr. Maheswaran, and even then, all she could do for him was identify the problem.
Steven was on his own.
But it's not like he was dying or anything, so he was fine, right? As long as he wasn't dead, he was okay, he could take care of himself and everyone else like he's always done.
He always took care of everyone else.
So why were they leaving?
Why were they moving on without him?
Why are they leaving him behind? He's been good, hasn't he?
And even when he messed up, he always fixed things, didn't he? Always!
He fixed things! That's what he does! He's Steven, the one who always helps everyone and never needs help himself, but if they were leaving, was he really a good child? Was he really helpful?
But if he wasn't helpful, then... what has he been doing all this time?
If helpful Steven wasn't helpful, then he could only be a fraud.
No... no, he could always find a problem to fix! And if he couldn't find one, he would just have to create one! As long as he could create problems, he would never run out of problems to fix, right?
As long as he just keeps messing up and creating problems-
Wait...
No...
That's not right...
If he's creating problems, he's not helpful...
He's a monster.
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dreameater1988 · 6 years
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Clara’s and Danny’s realtionship
I’ve been talking about the character of Danny Pink with several people lately and when S8 began, I have to admit that I didn’t like him very much. It took me years to understand what really bugged me but now think that it was the missed potential and the portrayal of the character on the show that made me dislike him. While working on several fanfictions, I started asking myself the question why Clara would be in a relationship with Danny and I think that eventually, I realised that we were shown the wrong sides of Danny on the show from the very beginning and even in S9, a lot of interesting details were omitted from the scripts that show us how important Danny Pink really was.
First of all, let’s start with the beginning of S8. The Doctor regenerated in front of Clara, throwing her into uncertainty. Her best friend, the man she has been in love with, changed his face and, by the looks of it, his character in a matter of seconds and Clara finds it hard to deal with that change. Why? Because the Doctor slipped out of her control. Even though Eleven was still unpredictable in a way, Clara knew where she stood with him, but she doesn’t know where she stands with Twelve because he doesn’t even know himself yet. For a control freak like Clara (and we’ll be coming back to that later), that’s a terrible situation to be in because she likes to know exactly what she’s getting into.
And along comes Danny Pink. He’s a maths teacher, he’s cute, he seems sweet and Clara is a young, gorgeous woman who has her life together. You can’t blame her for going after a nice guy who is single and seems to like her back. Danny is the complete opposite of the Doctor at that point because he’s stable and Clara knows exactly where she stands with him. Those are the qualities that drive her straight into Danny’s arms because the Doctor is certainly not nice to her and he certainly doesn’t give her a sense of security - both things Clara craves. Clara is not a person who is immune to a guy’s charms because she holds herself very high (the Doctor described her as an egomaniac) and she likes the confirmation, something the Doctor doesn’t exactly give her in early S8. Neither does Danny, at least not all the time, because their very first date ends in a complete failure. But how was Clara to know that?
Now, as I watched that date scene for the very first time, I knew that I would never have gone back to him after the disaster at the restaurant. But why did Clara? In Listen, the Doctor takes her to see small Rupert Pink and Clara obviously makes the connection to connection to Danny very early on. What is even worse, the Doctor takes her to the future where she meets one of Danny’s descendants who clearly seems to think that Clara is family. I could go on about how this was never really resolved, but let’s leave that aside because it’s not actually important. Clara gets what she craves: confirmation, security, control. She now “knows” that she and Danny are destined to be together and have children and that’s what makes her go back. When she is faced with Orson Pink, she suddenly “knows” what the future will hold for her, again giving her a sense of security and control, so Clara is determined to give Danny another chance.
I have to admit, even when I’m rewatching the scenes with Danny, I still don’t like him as much as I like the idea of what he could have been, of what he was to Clara in moments we just didn’t see. I often get the feeling that the show kept showing us the “worst" sides of Danny when really all he was was a lovely, normal boyfriend. Yet, he was set out as the Doctor’s rival quite from the beginning when he should have been more than that when it was obvious that the Doctor, the hero of the show, is not someone Danny could ever compete with.
Upon learning of the Doctor’s existence, Danny is anything but amused and I think that’s quite a natural reaction. Danny isn’t stupid, but when he follows the strange caretaker and discovers that he’s actually an alien who owns a time machine that sometimes steals his girlfriend, you can’t really blame him for holding a slight grudge. After all, his girlfriend lied to him about a very significant part of her life. And, having experienced danger, Danny is worried about her and rightly so. He is also worried that Clara might be in love with the Doctor, also rightly so, but he never stands between Clara and the Doctor. All he asks her is to be careful and to stop travelling with the Doctor when she feels it’s too much.
When the time finally comes in Kill The Moon and Clara is determined to leave the Doctor, Danny is actually the one to make her second-guess her decision. He encourages her to think about it and he encourages her during the phone call he and Clara have while she is on the Orient Express. Clara told him that she would leave the Doctor, but Danny never specifically asked it of her. I feel like a lot of people in the fandom are trying to view Danny as the person who tried to come between the Doctor and Clara when that’s something he never was. Danny isn’t the bad guy. Danny is the good guy and it was Clara who treated him badly even though she loved him.
Clara lies to him as well as the Doctor after the events on the Orient Express. Why? On the show, we never find out, but The Complete History books shed a little light on what Clara’s motives might have been. “In this version, when Clara looked at the Post-It Notes, she launched into speeches triggered by the notes, explaining to Danny over the phone how having secrets made her feel in control and show she fetishised hero figures.” Clara is a control freak and she always will be.
When Danny eventually finds out in ITFOTN that Clara has been lying to him, he is angry, but he isn’t angry about the fact that she is still travelling with the Doctor but because she lied to him. Danny doesn’t want to compete with the Doctor because he knows that it’s a competition he would lose, he only wants Clara to be honest with him. Danny was a normal, loving boyfriend and we only ever saw glimpses of his relationship with Clara on the show and in my opinion, they’re not always the right ones. Steven Moffat used Danny at the Doctor’s rival in the viewer’s eyes, but that’s not how Danny saw himself. He might not have been happy about Clara travelling with the Doctor through all of time and space, but he was willing to accept it rather than not be with Clara at all. Danny knew exactly that if he made her choose, he would be on the losing side, so he never did. Instead, he allowed his girlfriend to travel with a man he didn’t like (but respected) because he realised how much it meant to Clara. After the adventure in ITFOTN, Danny is no longer angry. He just wants Clara to be honest with him.
Danny’s death is a tragic event and just when Clara decides to come clean, he is torn from her life and even though she had a chance of getting him back, Danny still died and that was probably the most fundamental event in Clara’s life. It changed her as a person.
Those of you who have lost a loved one might understand her a little better than those of you who haven’t, but Danny’s death affected Clara a great deal and I’m very sad that very important pieces were cut from the S9 scripts and episodes. Danny was a young man, he was Clara’s boyfriend, she loved him, she thought they would get married and have children together - and he was torn out of life without a warning and without a chance to make it right. In addition to the natural loss, Clara’s control freak nature is very important in understanding why it changed it because that was something she had no control over whatsoever. Clara is not the type of person to blame herself for his death or to feel prolonged guilt over the way she treated him, but his death still had a huge impact on her character.
Because we never really saw the relationship of Clara and Danny unfold on screen, we can’t know what it was like and how much Clara really loved him (and she did, as is apparent from the omitted details in the S9 script), but with Danny, she didn’t just lose a boyfriend, Clara lost her ties to earth. When she thought she had lost not only Danny but the Doctor as well, she was even ready to commit suicide by staying in the dream world where both of them were still in her life. Luckily for Clara, the Doctor came to save her.
When S9 started, I was a little taken aback by Clara’s character, but it started to make sense to me. During S7 and S8, she already shows a tendency for risk-taking because she’s a brave woman when she gets scared, she gets all the more determined, but thanks to Danny, she always had one foot left on earth. With her ties severed, all she has left is her job and when she runs off at the beginning of The Magician’s Apprentice, it’s quite clear that UNIT and the Doctor are much more important to her.
Especially the first four episodes seem like someone cut Clara loose. She’s out of control. She’s reckless. She seems to be in good spirits, but underneath that, it’s still apparent that Danny’s loss cuts deep, something Clara would never admit to because she’s “trying to be perfect all the time” (The Complete History, Vol 77). Instead, she appears to have it all under control when the opposite is true. This is a very common expression of grief and Clara is still grieving. When in S8 it was the secrets that have made her feel in control, it is now the fact that she keeps on escaping death. She puts all of her faith in the fact that the Doctor is able to fix it all until they stumble upon a point when they can’t. Taking risks makes her feel alive up until the point it costs her life. In Face the Raven, when she finally mentions Danny, it seems to be out of the blue as if she had only suddenly remembered his existence. But that’s not really the case.
Danny was always with her and every time she mentions him, she does so very fondly and full of love. She has accepted his death, but she hasn’t healed yet. In Before the Flood, she tells Bennet: “After I lost someone, I thought my life was over. Because I knew… I know I can’t love again, and surely loving someone is what defines us. But it isn’t. The songs are wrong.” In an earlier draft of The Girl Who Died, she also bonds with a Viking woman (later Ashildr) over the loss of her husband by telling her about Danny. One remark even made it into the final script but was later cut and added in the deleted scenes.
Clara loved Danny even though she didn’t exactly treat him well in S8 and I feel like the show could have done a lot better to portray it. Danny was certainly not a bad guy and he was a loving boyfriend to Clara, but his meaning on the show was never so the viewers would want to see them together. Instead, he played the role of the Doctor’s rival and as such, he could only lose.
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celticnoise · 6 years
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BRENDAN RODGERS insists seven-in-a-row Celtic will be even STRONGER in the new season.
The Hoops boss, on the brink of a historic double treble, has warned Steven Gerrard and the rest of his rivals he is determined to make sure his team continue their domination of Scottish football.
Rodgers has promised he will add more quality to his squad as he prepared for tomorrow’s game against Hearts at Tynecastle.
The Irishman will up the ante and is already looking at ways of boosting the champions ahead of the 2018/19 campaign.
He said: “That is absolutely something that we have to do.
“We aren’t measuring ourselves on any other club, but we have to improve. Keep as many of the players we have and add to the quality. But that is always going to be a very difficult challenge.
“For us at Celtic, we continue with our own strategy and our own work.”
Rodgers is aware Ibrox chairman Dave King is demanding instant success from his fourth manager in two years with his former Liverpool skipper Gerrard moving into the hot seat that has previously been occupied by Mark Warburton, Pedro Caixinha and Graeme Murty, sacked as caretaker boss on Tuesday, since he arrived in the country in May 2016.
The Celtic boss said: “Their chairman was very clear on that. They’re looking to win the league.
“So that’s pretty simple, you know.
“It’s one where they have their own targets, they have their own goals, they have their own expectations.
“But Rangers aren’t our only rivals. You’ve got Hibs, who have done great this year, and Aberdeen and Hearts.”
Rodgers has welcomed Gerrard and insisted it will be “fantastic” for the profile of the Premiership.
But he added: “Stevie hasn’t been a manager yet.
“Of course, as a player, he was a world class player, there is no doubt about that. I am sure, and I hope, that he will enjoy the league, it will be totally different to what he is used to.
“Up here, there are a lot of honest people, honest guys, working hard for their careers every day. What they lack in quality they make up for in fight and spirit. The supporters are really passionate.
“Every game is a Cup Final, as he will experience. He has had that as a player, but it is different as a manager, when you manage these clubs every time you turn out it is a Cup Final.
“So, you are dealing with all of that and from a personal perspective I am sure he will absolutely love the life up here.
“It is a good place to live, a good place to be. It will be a good experience for him.
“He felt this was a good time, at the right club, and I wish him good luck, except when he plays against us.
“I always treat all the managers respect and try to do the best for my own club. And this will be no different.”
Read more from Celtic Quick News …
MUSONDA MAY RETURN,’ ADMITS RODGERS
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