#but im not letting blatant misinformation about what i said go around

[softbutchthatlovesyou]

This might sound defensive but if you're attracted to a 100% binary trans man as a woman then that's straight regardless of what you say, because trans men are men full stop, maybe it's unintentional for you but there's a lot of trans men aren't really men or are women-lite shit going around, reanalyze yourself and your transphobia because that's straight up awful shit and I'm so sick of seeing this being spread around it's fucking conversion therapy shit disguised as something positive reanalyze why you want trans men to be with lesbians so badly when lesbians traditionally mean and is understood by wide society to be women liking women, like actually sit and think about that, maybe it's hard to admit that it's offense but good fucking god

You seem to be under the assumption that I am forcing the tran men who identify as Lesbians to be not fully men or women lite and you are very wrong?? I do not see a trans man as any less of a man for being a Lesbian. He is a Man and A Lesbian. They are both true. They are not conflicting labels just because of societies perceptions of a word that was forcefully adjusted after Lesbian separatism.

Yow however are the one assigning those people a sexuality based on how you see their relationships. Is a woman supposed to break up or change her entire sexuality because her partner came out and she didn't stop being attracted to him? What if she still primarily dates women after they breakup for unrelated reasons? Does she earn being a Lesbian back? Or maybe consider how many trans men are butches in the community who are Men and Lesbians and their femmes love them and are no less lesbian to any of their peers. What about those who are firmly Trans men and Trans Women at the same time? Do they stop being a lesbian on "Man days"? Do they earn it back on women days? You know, to make sure on "man days" they aren't viewed as Womenlite for being a lesbian by their own choice. Where's the line anon?

It sounds defensive because it is. You are not reading a word I've said about any of this and are shoving shit I don't believe into my inbox under the guise that you think I condone any of what the fuck you iust said.

I am a man and spend half my time fighting to be seen properly as one against transphobic Lesbians who insist I have to be a Girl Butch otherwise they have the right to dictate who I can date. I fucking know more than enough about people who want to change my gender to fit their transphobic views. I spend an entire portion of my blog fighting about transmasculine rights if you bothered to look around before you sent this accusatory ask.

Some Trans Men are Lesbians because THEY WANT TO BE. When I talk about Lesbian Trans Men I am talking about ME and THEM. If you cannot understand that then you are not having the same conversation as me.

Also the fucking Lesbiphobia of revoking someones right to be a Lesbian because you don't see it that way is disgusting. Who the fuck are you to think it's okay to tell somone they aren't who they say they are? we got a council that can kick us out of our little clubs since that's how you wanna treat these identities?

#this makes me nauseous to read #to tell me i see any of my fellow trans men not as men because i respect the ones who are lesbians???? #and to think YOU have the right to tell them how they can identify?? #transandrophobia #Lesbiphobia #im so fucking tired read what i said or just dont bother to send an ask #gideons talking time #inbox #anon #arlright i guess i need a discourse tag now if yall are gonna be clowns #ill block anything malicious #but im not letting blatant misinformation about what i said go around #so uh #Fungus.txt

[grumpyangeladvice]

am i the only one who gets bothered when people are like “all your feelings are valid! all your memories are valid! no one is wrong! OwO🌸” bc like.............. it is extremely likely that some of the people who claim to be angels and have memories are just using that as a coping mechanism and convincing themselves that they have memories when they don’t, and that is ok i guess but like im just sayin

On the one hand, I understand that it’s good to let people know that their experiences and feelings are valid. There are a lot of people who legitimately need that kind of encouragement, and it’s good that they’re able to get it. On the other hand, I know exactly where you’re coming from, though I’ve got a bit different view on the situation.

(Due to the excessive length of this ramble, I’ve decided to put the bulk of it under the cut. Warning: Wall of text.)

From what I’ve been able to gather (admittedly, it’s not much, but it’s what I have to work with), the biggest reason someone in this community would want to fake having memories is the need to fit in. Let’s be honest, a lot of this community puts way too much stock into having memories and discussing them. If you don’t have any memories to share, it’s easy to feel disconnected from things, and like you don’t really belong. Faking (or forcing) memories is a fairly direct way of being able to engage with that part of the community, and as a result, feel like you’re a part of things.

With that said, I have a lot of issues with people faking (or trying to force) memories, especially because by repeating those false memories, a person can convince themselves they’re true. That makes it harder to dig up actual memories, and helps encourage the misinformation problem this community has going on. (See the string of posts starting with [this] for how I feel about the misinformation part specifically.) It also adds to the problem of people feeling isolated because they don’t have memories to share, and thus encourages more faked memories.

There’s also the point you bring up about the idea that “no one is wrong” when it comes to memories and such. If I had to guess, that whole idea stems from two (largely unrelated) things. The first is the desire to avoid offending anyone, or hurting anyone’s feelings. If no one’s memories are wrong, everyone gets to be equally valid, and no one has to feel bad about things. There’s some problems with that whole arrangement that I’ll get into in a bit here.

The second issue is one that reflects an ongoing problem in the metaphysical community as a whole: a blatant misunderstanding of theoretical physics. In this case, it’s specifically the Many Worlds theory of quantum mechanics. (Why is it always quantum mechanics?) The version that gets thrown around says that there’s infinitely many parallel universes where anything can be possible, because something something infinity, or some nonsense like that. The actual theory is more complex than that, but I’m gonna try providing an explanation as best I understand it. (Note that I have no formal education in physics, including quantum mechanics. I’ve just read a lot and seen some well done television programs on these subjects.)

Many Worlds theory basically says that for every event that can go multiple ways, each of those outcomes occurs simultaneously, with each one branching off into a “parallel universe” (using the term fairly loosely here) where that outcome is the one that “actually” happened. Our limited perception of the universe means that we can only follow one of those paths, however, and as a result we only experience one of those universes. There’s plenty more to it, and there’s a lot of math involved (this is physics, after all), but that covers the part we need to touch on for this ramble.

Now, Many Worlds isn’t widely accepted. There’s actually a lot of debate about it, and evidence in both directions. The important part to take away from this, however, is that Many Worlds does not cover wildly different versions of reality, at least not in reasonable proximity. Sure, there might be a universe where earth developed an atmosphere with a different composition that resulted in a purple sky instead of a blue one, but there’s billions of years between now and then, and the branches are going to be separated by countless other branches along the way.

Combine that with Occam’s Razor, and the simple result is this: If two people have contradictory memories of something from the High Angelic Period, one of them is probably wrong. It might be their mis-remembering something (because memory is rarely perfect), they might be mistaken about something, they might be just making things up to fit in... Whatever the case may be, one of those two people is probably wrong, and this community has some major issues accepting they can be wrong.

Which brings me back to the problem with trying to please everyone. When you’re dealing with metaphysics of any kind, you need to be willing to question just about everything. (This is also good advice for life, but that’s a separate rant.) If someone tells you that the only way to talk to “God” is through them, you question why they’re the only way to do it. If someone tells you that it’s dangerous and/or irresponsible to channel large quantities of energy without invoking a higher power, you question why you need a higher power to do your work for you. (Protip: You generally don’t, if you actually learn to do the work properly to begin with.) Question everything. Ask why things work the way they do. Ask why you feel like doing things a particular way is best. Ask if your memories of past lives are real, or if they’re a figment of your imagination. Because sometimes, what you thought was Absolute Truth turns out to be wrong.

By trying to please everyone, you remove the ability for people to encourage that questioning. Sometimes, you need someone from outside of your worldview to say, “That doesn’t make any goddamn sense. The hell are you thinking?” It forces you to examine your beliefs and figure out if they’re actually right. A lot of the time, you’ll find that your beliefs are right (for you, at least), and that reaffirms your faith. Sometimes, though, you take that hard look at things and realize you need to reassess things. Maybe you realize you can just ring up God on your own, without someone else to pass the message along. Maybe you realize you don’t need higher powers to get things done. Maybe you realize Michael wasn’t a soft smol bean, and was an obedient soldier fulfilling the will of a jealous and angry bastard with a desperate need to assert dominance. (Yes, I am bitter. I am very bitter.)

Sometimes, you need to look someone dead in the eye (metaphorically, in the case of online interaction) and tell them, “I think you’re wrong.” And when that happens, the response shouldn’t be, “Everyone’s valid, no one is wrong, uwu.” It should be more along the lines of either, “I’ve reassessed my beliefs, and I know I am not wrong,” or, “You’re right. I might be wrong about things, and I’m going to work on figuring that out.” I know that it sucks to be wrong about things, but the only way to learn is to accept when you don’t actually know something.

I hate to put it like this, but I can’t think of a better way to phrase this: In a lot of very important ways, this community needs to grow up. I know there are a lot of kids in the community, but I’m damn sure there’s a fair number of adults around who aren’t helping things any. I know there are a lot of people who don’t take us seriously, and a big part of that is that we don’t take ourselves seriously. Start questioning things, both your own shit and other’s. Break up echo chambers and start letting conflicting opinions cross your view. Accept that sometimes, those conflicting opinions are right.

Sure, everyone is valid, but that’s because they’re human beings who deserve respect and kindness, just like everyone else. Not all memories are valid. Some are tainted by pop culture (rants on that are [here] and [here]). Some are faked to try to fit in. Some are just plain wrong. The sooner we start accepting that, the sooner we can start getting a clear image of what actually happened, and start growing as a community.

[jennyschectersghost]

Hey, I've noticed you post about anxiety before and I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're alright. I read and reread everything and I still can't see how you did anything wrong. Im thinking people who didn't see the shit go down must have thought you were that first nonny or didn't actually see what you said. It was dumb and I just want you to know that I love your blog and you seem like a really good person. I hope you're having a great day.

I assume this was about about the @bitchmoms drama, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply. You're so very sweet. Thanks for the concern, love, but I'm fine. I mean, it's nerve racking to me because of the very serious subject matter, but I know who I am and what I'm about and so does anyone who's been following me (I would hope).Let me just reiterate that I am truly sorry for getting involved in that conversation at all, in any way, period. That conversation wasn't about me--and even though it had already gone off on a very particular tangent which made me feel like my question was appropriate, it's clear that I inadvertently derailed things further for which I do sincerely apologize. From the bottom of my sad little heart, I'm so sorry. I'm glad some of the anons brought this to my attention because they were making a completely valid point there, and I know I'll be more conscious of these contexts in the future. Truthfully, I don't care how they said it either. They're entitled to their anger, their feelings about it are real and I'm not here to tone police anyone. So if you're at all feeling sorry for me in that way, don't. Just don't. It's alright.That said, what didn't sit well with me was all the blatant misinformation being spread around. I mean, aside from my concern that I might have been getting widely conflated with the anon before me, I feel like the anon who originally addressed me was just going off on shitty things white people generally say...that were...very clearly NOT anything *I* said...?? But by getting involved in that conversation at all (which again, I should not have done), I provided a name and a face to put them on. And then subsequent anons saw me responding to THAT anon and maybe didn't bother to fact chekck, and it just kind of spiraled from there. After being on and off Tumblr dot com for like 8 years now, I cannot even begin to tell you how much shit I've seen go down because people are just reacting to the reactions they saw without bothering to actually check out what it is they're even fucking discussing in the first place. It's truly amazing. I think my favorite part of that first anon was the "color blind" thing, like???? I *obviously* agree? I mean, I have a lot of experience in attempting to engage with the deluded white assholes who really do say garbage like "uwu I don't see color," and I can promise you that NONE of those fucks would be concerned about the possibility of appropriation in the first place because they refuse to understand that it exists. Like. By the sheer force of their own denial, they live in a "post racial" fantasy world where it can't exist, so they just shut it out. They would NEVER pose that kind of question in the first place BECAUSE they literally like to pretend that "race doesn't matter."My second favorite thing was the anon who informed me that my hair is actually "wavy" and not actually curly, based on one photo set from 3 years ago where I noted that I hadn't flat ironed it by rhetorically referring to it as being in its "natural state" (even though it technically wasn't because l struggle deeply with body image which my hair has been an integral part of, lol--although in retrospect, that was probably a poor choice of words on multiple levels). Like you, you a stranger on the internet who has never actually seen me and didn't even bother to look at all of the few pictures I've posted here, YOU are going to tell ME what my own fucking hair is like, the hair I've had...on my head...since I was fucking born... Okay. If I really should be calling it "wavy" and not curly, I guess I've been getting lied to my entire fucking life by literally everyone I've ever known, including everyone who's ever done my hair, which is...not impossible, I guess? But it sure seems unlikely.I'm thinking there are definitely different standards out there of what "curly" means--but certainly by the awful mainstream white ones that get shoved down everyone's throats, I think it's pretty safe to say that my hair is naturally curly. My DNA gave me relatively loose curls but curls nonetheless. Other words I used to describe my hair included thick, dry and frizzy. Again, these are words I have heard my entire life. I think in one comment, I also noted that it has been described as "ethnic."I NEVER ONCE said that it had been described as "nappy" or "kinky," nor did I describe it in those ways myself. I WOULD LITERALLY NEVER SAY THAT, but one anon plainly misread my words and then suddenly I was being lumped in with actual overt bigots. I am NOT okay with that which is why I felt like I *had* to keep responding. Call me annoying all you want, I give absolutely zero fucks about going down in Recent Mumblr History as Annoying or whatever, but don't misreport my words or misconstrue my beliefs so deeply.