#but if you just shove me in a room with a hippo or a bison or a hornet
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Vicarious (Part 24)
“Do you ever miss it?” Sokka asks.
Azula tilts her head. “Do I ever miss what?”
“Being able to reach the top shelf.”
She gives him a good shove. “I sometimes miss when you were afraid to talk to me like that.” He nudges her back. “What did you do anyways? When you needed to reach the top shelf? I always used to firebend to get up there.”
Sokka folds his arms across his chest. “I tried to climb the shelves…”
“Ah. So that’s where these came from.” She gestures to her bruised knees. “I assumed that you had misstepped or something of the sort while running through my firebending routine.” She gives the bruises a little poke.
“Stop messing with those.” Sokka mutters. “By the way, I will have you know that I am the most skilled firebender who was never meant to be a firebender.”
“You’re the only nonbender who has become a firebender.” Azula shrugs. “There isn’t much competition.”
“Who knows, maybe there will be one day.”
Azula rolls her eyes. “Right. Don’t hold your breath on that one, a lot of things would have to go wrong in the universe for nonbenders to suddenly start bending.”
“Several things had to go wrong in the universe for two people to swap bodies with one another for several months.” Sokka points out.
Azula crosses her arms, huffs, and blows a few stands of hair out of her face. “Well I sure hope that I don’t have to witness the nonbender revolution in my lifetime.”
Sokka chuckles. “I don’t think that you have to worry, you’ve always treated nonbenders with respect. Your best friends…” He cringes at his own thoughtlessness before she has a chance to flinch. “Sorry. He mumbles. For what it’s worth, I think that you and Mai can fix things and if you can win Mai over again, I’m sure that TyLee will be easy to handle.”
“I didn’t realize that you are an optimist.” She replies. “I always pegged you for a realist like myself.”
“I am a realist.” He smiles. “You’re not a bad person, Azula. I wish that you would be as open with other people as you are with me.”
“I’m open with you?”
Sokka laughs. “See, opening up to people comes so naturally to you that you don’t even realize that you’re doing it.”
He enjoys these brief small talks with her. Sometimes she doesn’t say much, these days a lot of their conversations aren’t particularly important. Mostly it is nice to just get to know her. Her favorite food is mochi, her favorite color is blue like her fire, she is tired of seeing red all the time because everything in the Fire Nation is red, her favorite animals aside from dragons are pandas and komodo-rhinos. Admittedly he wrote most of it down, with her birthday on the top, lest he make the mistake of forgetting it like had had done with almost all of his previous partners.
Azula doesn’t need to write his interests down. She tends to show up with artfully arranged bento boxes full of jerky, chicken, and hippo-cow meats along side some rice and vegetables to make sure that he is getting a more balanced diet than just various types of meat. She admits that she can’t cook but she had been the one to arrange the meal into shapes like sky bison and flying lemurs. Sometimes he will find a sword or a dagger laying on his bed with a little note about its make and history.
She never says that she loves him but he gets the point. She wouldn’t listen so intensely to his chatter about machines–submarines in particular, architecture, and the history of fishing and hunting in the Southern Water Tribe for hours on end if she didn’t. She wouldn’t wander into his room and read quietly next to him until she falls asleep if she didn’t.
He is more than happy that Katara, Aang, and Zuko have walked in once or twice to check on him only to see that Azula had fallen asleep leaning against him.
“So, what are your plans for today?” Azula asks. “I was hoping that we could go visit the Smoke River Cafe.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
She furrows her brows. “I believe that you’ve been calling it The Dragon’s Nostrils.”
“I’d love to go. How about tomorrow. Dad and I have our big presentation today!”
“Oh yes, that’s right.” She nods. “When should I be there?”
Sokka grins. “If you want to we can head over there now. I’d like my dad to meet you now that you’re you.”
Azula swallows, he thinks that he catches the slightest flicker of nervousness in her eyes. “Does he know that we’re together?”
“I told him all about you!”
“Great.” Azula grumbles. “I can’t imagine that he’s thrilled to know that you’re with the person who caused his invasion plan to fall apart.”
“Yeah, he’s not thrilled about that.” Sokka confesses. “But he respects your wit and strategy.”
.oOo.
That he respects her wit and strategy isn’t nearly enough to untie the knots forming in her stomach. The man probably begrudges her, twice over for deciding to date his son.
“Dad…this is Azula.” Sokka smiles, giving her a little nudge forward.
Hakoda gives a slight bow. She supposes that it is better than nothing. She clears her throat. “Hello.”
“Sokka tells me that you’ve been helping him with the blueprints.”
“He was under a lot of pressure and I enjoy problem solving. I haven’t worked with blueprints and schematics until recently but it is enriching work. If nothing else, I know what kind of toll pressure can take on someone.”
“Yes, thank you for looking out for my son. I wish that he would tell me when he is feeling overwhelmed.”
“No one wants to disappoint their parents.” Sometimes they do it anyways.
“He could never disappoint me.” Hakoda assures the both of them. Azula finds her chest constricting. She wishes that her own father would say as much. And maybe she is wearing that too plainly on her face–she needs to be more careful, it has been happening a lot lately–because Hakoda continues, “your father is a difficult man.”
She can only nod. “He’s still my father.”
“I know.” Hakoda replies. “It would probably do you some good to hear that you were given many tasks well beyond what was reasonable.”
“Sokka already mentioned something like that.” Sokka who slips an arm around her waist and pulls her closer. She stares up at Hakoda. “Are you upset with him for choosing me over Jin?” She shouldn’t ask things that she doesn’t really want the answers to. Things that will almost inevitably hurt her.
With each second that passes without a reply, her stomach sinks further. He is almost certainly working out a diplomatic way of saying that he doesn’t like her let alone approve of her. Agni, she hadn’t imagined actually wanting approval from him. She barely knows him.
“I was a little surprised.” He says finally. “But I can see why he did.”
“You can?” Her brows knit.
“There aren’t many people who will let him ramble for a while and sit through all of his terrible puns.”
“Hey! I learned those from you!”
Hakoda chuckles. “I never said that you didn’t.” He turns back to Azula. “You challenge him, he enjoys a good debate.”
“You don’t resent me for everything that happened with Katara?”
“Resent is a strong word.” Hakoda replies. “But I’m not particularly happy about that, surely you understand.”
Sokka’s grip tightens on her as she mutters a, “perfectly.” Really meeting Hakoda as herself was a lost cause before it even began. But she couldn’t imagine not showing up to support Sokka. She knew that. Somehow it still hurts.
Hakoda puts a hand on her shoulder and she flinches. He withdraws and he apologizes. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know. It just that…” she trails off. Sometimes she has trouble separating him from her father and she hasn’t even a good reason to have lumped them together in the first place. Other than that they are both fathers.
“It’s alright.” Hakoda assures her, his voice significantly less hard. She swallows. He seems to look straight into her eyes. And he sees something there. Her breath catches because she sees something in his; recognition. The man massages his face just the way Sokka does when he is stressed or frustrated. “I reminded you of your father, didn’t I?”
“What do you mean?” Azula asks.
“I know my son and I know that he wasn’t acting like himself. I attributed that to stress.”
“What are you talking about, dad? Of course I was acting like myself.”
“I know my son and I know that his voice…”
“Raises a pitch or two when he’s nervous or trying to tell a lie?” Azula finishes.
With a shrillness to drive the point home, Sokka shouts, “it does not!”
“How long?” Hakoda asks.
“Just a few months.” Azula shifts her weight from one leg to the other. “We haven’t figured out how or why, just that it happened and that it ended after we resolved a few of each other’s struggles.”
Hakoda nods. “Sokka, were you challenging spirits again?”
“I might have had a run in with one or two of them while helping Zuko look for his mom. Who is also Azula’s mom.” He sputters. “I was helping Zuko look for their mom. But I didn’t do anything I don’t think, the spirits were quiet this time.”
“Well maybe after this speech we can go looking for some answers.”
Azula’s heart sinks. Sure she has been making some progress with the rest of Sokka’s friends but she can’t imagine that they’ll talk to her nearly as much as Sokka does and she can only tolerate Zuko in moderation. Granted her tolerance level has been on an upward tick, even still.
“We can resume looking for your mother as well.” Hakoda adds.
“You want to help me look for my mother?”
“You need at least one parent. You and your brother both. And it’s about time that you get some supervision on one of your, what do you call them…?”
“Life changing field trips.” Sokka fills in.
“Clearly you all need it if you’re running into spirits that can displace souls.” He pauses. “And I would like to get to know the woman my son is dating.”
Azula’s heart hammers in her chest. “O-of course. That is the rational thing to do.” She swallows hard and squeezes Sokka’s hand. Finding her mother after all of this time is daunting in itself, the very prospect makes her queasy. And now she will have to do that while trying to impress and work her way into Hakoda’s good graces. “But first I have to attend this formal dinner party that Zuzu is hosting..” It is only delaying the inevitable.
“I was invited to that as well.” Hakoda nods.
“Right, yes. Then I will see you there. And after you and Sokka unveil your plans for the Republic City project.”
“You are welcome to join us for that presentation if you would like.” Hakoda offers. “You did a very large portion of the work.”
“I suppose that I can.” Azula replies. Even if she just stands there it will be nice to be credited for her efforts.”
She is coming to realize that Hakoda is a man who takes ample time to think before he speaks.“It was a pleasure speaking with you, Azula. Thank you for taking good care of my son.”
Azula nods. “Of course. It would have been rude to do damage to a life that wasn’t my own.” It would certainly be embarrassing to know that she had managed to ruin two lives instead of just her own.
This time he waits for her to nod before resting his hand on her shoulder. “I told you to let me know if you feel overwhelmed while you were Sokka. I haven’t retracted that statement.”
“Perhaps I am slightly.” Having someone concerned for her is going to take some getting used to. “But I am perfectly capable…”
“He knows that, Azula.” Sokka smiles softly. He lifts her hand and gives the back of it a quick peck.
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