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#but i realky just appreciate this man so much
topsyturvy-turtely · 2 years
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well it's 9:51pm in my time zone but-
Happy Birthday Benedict Cumberbatch!
here's a drawing i made a while ago and that i'm pretty proud of...
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i admire him in so many ways i will not list them all but mostly my utter respect to him for me having the biggest crush on him even though i'm like incredibly gay... 🤣
my art account on instagram :)
[tags under the cut]
tagging my usual people because i just wanna show i don't only write haha :P
@catlock-holmes @helloliriels @justanobsessedpan @boredsushi @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @7arantellgrrl @ssmeowl123 @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @pansherlock @the-smol-bean-libby-blog @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @toobluebrunette
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salmisalar · 2 years
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omg meow came!!!!!! read more is alittle venty so skip most likely!!!!!!
people are better than me and they always will be
hmm its kind of like when someones better than me i respect them and then admire them and worship them with weird obsession and i think about all the things theyre better than me at and then i feel sick and frustrated and then i want to uhh hm kill them like bonk them a little and tthen i go back to being sad on my bed because my expectations will always be higher than my work
it really is a me problem so i guess ill just live with this until my untimely death
(not to mention most of the time when someone compliments me i think their lying and theyre just saying it out of pity lmao or to make me feel better and i appreciate it alot but idk man it gives me mental damage) also guess what fic gave me this : its carry me home by yuki_MXIVo!!! IM SO SORRY AHAHHAHAHA ITS JUST SO GOOD I LOVE THE CHARACTERISATION SO MUCH AND I THINK ABOUT IT SO MUCH AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA ok that was realky weird its a really good stsg fic pls read ok bye sorry if youre seeing this yukib
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It's You
Hanzo request with a trans S/O (FtM) with, okay, lots fluff. Fluffy fluff. Cute shit. Lots of it. From Anon--
MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN HOWEVER
My inbox doesn't accepts asks and I don't know why! However, my personal messages are always open. I'm happy to keep you Anonymous!
Hanzo--
° When you first told him, you needed to explain a lot to him. About the discomfort you had in your own skin. How you felt you were born with the wrong body. The hurt you felt when you thought just... You were all wrong. When you finished explaining everything, you expected him to leave you. Maybe it was because you assumed it was too much for him to handle, or maybe you assumed he would be disgusted with you.
° However, you were completely surprised. He was more supportive and outspoken about how it was your choice to be who you wanted to be. He knew better than anyone what lying to yourself for years does to you. He kissed you just the same as before. He held you when you cried from happiness. Love is love, and now that Hanzo had finally found it, this wasn't something that was going to turn him off and away. As he saw you more and more as a man, you were actually surprised that the usually quiet and somber man actually became much more talkitive at home. You were amazed when he offered to go shopping with you to help you find the right clothes that made you feel more comfortable when you knew he hated to around so many people and having to be social. However you and him went and found the oerfect clothes for you and what made you look like the man you knew you could be. Sauve and dapper. He helped bind your chest in the morning (having explained many women in his family did this before meetings with the rest of his kin. A way to be taken seriously and "not be a distraction". So he knew exactly how to help you with this and as you grew more comfortable, he bought you a binder too. His support was strong and he was the one who began correcting people of your pronoun. He was fiercely protective of you when in general conversation, sticking up with you and your choices and your right to choose them however you please, even with people saying "No, Hanzo I agree with you, he needs to what he wants!" There was only time he seemed hesitant about this all. One part of your body he adored more than anything was hanging on by just a tread.
° All these things went through your head as you looked at yourself in the mirror in front of you. You were sitting in a salon, your long hair framing your face. This was just the next step. This was something you had thought about for so long. You usually kept your hair up in a man bun, you knowing the hesitation in Hanzo about losing your long beautiful hair. But he always kept his own wants pushed to the side when it came to your own transformation. But you knew when the hair dresser came up with the scissors and Hanzo covered his eyes. He just didn't want to watch. The hair dresser was so excited that she gave no warning when she grabbed your long hair and cut 6 inches off your hair. And this was only the beginning. You closed your eyes as the buzzer came on. This was it. You kept your eyes closed as the buzzer went along the sides of your head and heard the scissors beginning to snip the top of your hair into shape. A little pomade and a little tusseling and the hair dresser unwrapped the black cover from around you. You opened your eyes and the person looking back at you... You felt tears sting your eyes as you looked at this person. It was... You. This is you.
° The hair dresser had grabbed Hanzo's arm and led him to the mirror and pulled his hands away. He looked at you in the mirror with slow studying eyes. The hair dresser stood behind you both looking proud as the both of you studied yourself. You sniffed and quickly rubbed your eyes to avoid the tears and you looked at Hanzo who kept studying you. You both stayed quiet as he rose a hand and ran it through your hair gently. It was short on the sides and long on top, still a popular style for men. But what he appreciated was that it was styled out and away from your face. While you often used your long hair to hide your face, self esteem low because you felt so out of place. But he saw the glow of your skin and the that beautiful complexion. He leaned down and kissed your forehead and you felt those tears threaten your eyes again as you could tell. He loved it, and this sign of PDA, no matter how small, truly showed it.
° When you both got home, he couldn't stop touching it, saying in both English and Japanese "Its so soft" and he couldn't help but play with it and pull it and you couldn't help but laugh at his suddenly needy hands. You did the same though, occasionally running your fingers through it and ruffling it, messing it up, and pushing it back in place. It really did feel so much different with all the weight and length taken off of it. So much healthier, thicker, fuller. No dead ends and damage from the years of abuse it had been put through. And it really was SO SOFT. You marveled at yourself in your boxers and tshirt as you both got ready for bed. It seemed to reshape your whole face. Your cheek bones looked stronger, eyes looked sharper. Your face looked so refined. You would date you, you looked fine as heck! You felt like... You finally realky truly looked like you. You finally felt like you belonged in your own body, and that while there was still a long road ahead of you, You were excited to keep going down it.
° You finally pushed yourself away from the mirror, vanity wasn't exactly becoming. You crawled into bed next to Hanzo, who opened the sheets and pulled you close to one another. He nuzzled into you, his hands immediately went to your hair, which made you chuckle and you made a joke quietly.
° "I think I'm gonna bleach it."
° "Don't you dare." He stated firmly but he chuckled as well as you both fell asleep in each other's arms, his face still nestled into your hair.
!!Extra!!
° "I think thats a very selfish way to look at it, Hanzo," you stated as you both sipped tea in your living room, looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk behind your tea cup. Hanzo felt his heart pang in his chest at this playful look you had perfected but he continued.
° "I am just stating it was nice not to wake up with your hair all over the bed," Hanzo stated as he casually sipped his tea.
° "Yes and just up your nose and in your fingers all night," you teased and you felt his blush all the way across the table.
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