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epochxp · 3 years

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Epoch Xperience Interviews Nordic Weasel Founder, Ivan Sorensen

Mr. Sorensen needs no real introduction to many miniature wargamers. His company, Nordic Weasel Games, has taken the historical miniatures gaming world by storm, and he’s become the force on Wargames Vault. His formula of “substance over flash” has produced good games for a very reasonable price, and he has taken full advantage of PDF technology to produce a quality product one can buy and have in your (virtual hands) the next day.

Without further ado, I give you Ivan Sorensen:

Biography

My name is Ivan Sorensen, and I am a game designer and self-publishing writer of miniatures games, as well as the odd role-playing game. Under the moniker of Nordic Weasel Games, I have worked as a game writer for close to 7 years.

I am an avid player of board games, miniatures games, role-playing games, video games, and anything else I can get my hands on. I have spent half my life on this planet in Denmark, where I was born, and half in the United States, where I currently reside. I am married, have one kid and two cats named Scruffy and Lancelot.

Unlike a lot of historical games writers, many of my formative miniatures gaming experiences actually came from science fiction games, so I suppose that has given me a little bit of a different perspective.

So, how did you get started in writing rules? Was there an “aha” moment, or did you fall into it?

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I have basically always created little dice and board games for myself, using Lego pieces or other things that we had available, usually based on video games I had read about in magazines or other ideas like that.

When I was 12 or so, I remember getting a copy of White Dwarf magazine from a local gaming club I had joined, and it blew my mind. We had some limited exposure to the idea of space marines and all these things from the Milton Bradley Hero Quest and Space Crusade board games, but the idea of battle games played without a board, using miniatures and dice was too much to resist. I knew I had to get into this, and as I had no money for it, I sat down to write a game I could play with my Space Crusade figures, which would look as much like what I imagined Warhammer 40.000 would be like.

Since then, I had pretty much always been the “rules guy” in the gaming groups I was part of, whether we were playing miniatures games or RPG’s, so it just came naturally over time, I suppose. As I got access to the internet and later got access to ordering things from the UK or US, I devoured every game I could get my hands on and was even remotely interested in.

The start to writing games that were any good was my own attempt at creating a World War 1 game system (titled Trench Storm). I had shared it online, and to my great surprise, it began catching people’s attention and got a (very) small following, with people even purchasing miniatures to play it. Eventually, I was contacted by the US distributor for IT Miniatures, who offered to print it to promote their 20mm figure range. The rest is, as they say, history. Once in a great while, a copy of that game still pops up on eBay, it seems!

How did Nordic Weasel Games come to be?

So that story took place right around the time I moved to the United States. After moving, I had a lengthy period where I did not have my work permit yet, so game writing seemed like an obvious distraction, resulting in Fast and Dirty, a sci-fi rules set that you still see mentioned online here and there.

As the years went on, I kept tinkering and building things but mostly for my own enjoyment. Sometime during the fall of 2013, I started seriously working on a new game system for WW2 skirmish actions that I felt had some real potential to go places. At the time, I worked at a relatively dead-end middle management job at an incredibly toxic information technology company. You know the sort of job, where you have been there for too long, and you hate every minute of it.

Come the spring, I decided to take a gamble that I could make enough money from game sales to make it worth pursuing and quit. I figured if I could find a way to do it without putting money on the line, then if it all bombed, I could just walk away and find something else to do in life.

Consequently, Five Men in Normandy was released on June 15, 2014, and as of today, we are still here!

What is in the future for Nordic Weasel?

Hopefully, many big things! The biggest priority for 2021 specifically is to get into print books, though there are a lot of stumbling blocks in terms of layout requirements and so on.

I always keep a list of projects I would like to do, though I try not to talk about them too much in case they fall through. I am the sort of guy who always starts with 20 ideas, so by the time the unworkable ones have been weeded out, there are 2 or 3 left.

What I can say is that I am actively looking at fantasy miniatures battles, and I would love to do more WW1 and Black Powder era gaming material.

The real big question is that I am also very much at a point where there are just too many things to do it all alone. I cannot write 4 or 5 new games, support an entire back catalogue, and update old titles all by my lonesome, so I look forward to trying to solve that in the future. I suppose this is a good problem to have, but it is certainly also an intimidating one!

Is there a period of history you want to write rules for but have not?

We have worked extensively with the two world wars and the black powder era in general, as well as 20th century-to-modern era battles, and with Knyghte, Pyke and Sworde we even delved into medieval warfare.

The one that stands out as something that would be fun to do is World War 1 air combat, complete with goggles and scarf flapping in the wind. A little romanticized sure, but great fun, and there is a lot of fantastic models available.

For a historical era I have not touched on at all, I would say that while I have done games that cover it among other 19th century conflicts, a dedicated American Civil War set is something I would be very keen to do.

There are a lot of fantastic rules out there for the period, of course, but I feel like the “Weasel” approach of being solo-friendly and campaign-oriented could carve out a nice space of that market. Plus, I find the era quite fascinating. Growing up in Denmark, I was never really raised with a particular view of the conflict, but having married into a proud Vermont family, it is, of course, unavoidable.

Can you tell our readers what goes into rules writing?

I think this is something that is intensely personal, and the rationale for writing something can be varied: It may be due to sensing an opening in the hobby space that does not seem to be catered to currently. It may be that I have a personal passion for a given setting or era, or it may simply be that I have a clever game mechanic and want to build a game around it.

The process for me usually starts with sketching out a page or two of keywords, mechanics, and things I’d like to hit on a notepad. Then I work on building it out with simple sketches for the main areas of the mechanics: Activations, movement, shooting, morale, and so forth. Basically, carving out the cornerstones of the game system. At this stage, it is entirely possible it feels like it’s not going anywhere, and it goes in the bin.

If the core idea seems to have merit in this skeleton form, it’s time to test it out with some generic troops and see if it actually feels fun on the table. From there, you just build out from it: Get other people to read and play it, read it out loud to yourself, etc. Figure out what parts need ironing out and improving and which are good.

It is really all an iterative process. Once I know the game has legs to stand on, I start writing out the table of contents in advance, so I can “fill in the blanks” as I go. If I know I am going to have a section later for off-map support, I can keep that in mind when I am developing each piece of the mechanics and so forth.

Eventually, any project hits “The Suck (TM).” This is whatever part you hate doing the most, whether it is layout or proofreading or points systems or whatever. For me, it is terrain rules, funny enough. I never read that section of a rulebook, and I never enjoy writing it, but you must. “The Suck” is where your game will probably die because if you let it overcome you, you will put the book down, and every time you click on the word processor, you will immediately be faced with it. The best way to defeat “The Suck” in my experience is caffeine and not letting up: When it starts rearing its ugly head, it is time to keep going and don’t stop until you are through with it.

Has desktop publishing and PDF only supplements changed the face of the hobby? Has it affected the quality of the product we see today?

Absolutely yeah. It’s not that long ago that a game being available in PDF was a novelty, whereas today, if a game is NOT available in PDF, you are going to lose sales.

I think the barrier of entry has also dropped dramatically. Even a basic word processing package can churn out a PDF document that you can distribute online or sell. Of course, with proper page layout software, you can achieve much greater results (as some of my friends are rarely missing a chance to tell me), but you need to examine what your skill limit is. Any tool has a skill cap, to borrow a video game term. If you are not currently good enough at what you do to push up against the limitations of your software, burning 200 dollars on new apps will not make your books any better.

It is funny, though, because the wargaming field is so diverse in the type of things we see. You can pick up relatively big-name games that are incredibly plain-looking: Black and white, no art, rudimentary layout. Then right next to it, you see a PDF that is full-color, original artwork, and gorgeous. And the two can be viewed as equal value to the audience.

Of course, eye candy DOES sell, but I think once you are beyond the Warhammer circles, gamers become a lot more content-focused.

What are your favorite historical periods and why?

The 19th Century, the two world wars and the Russian Civil War.

Really, the whole era from circa 1910 to 1925 or so is fascinating to me: It is, of course, the transition of the old, romanticized world to the world of modern warfare, as well as being incredibly diverse in the sort of things you can see. The Russian Civil War sees tanks and armored cars, partisan bands, nationalist militias, Red and White guards, Cossack cavalry armies, Anarchists, and anything else you can shake a stick at. It is really a wargamers heaven for finding odd units to model up on the gaming table.

Honestly, my love of history, in general, comes from one source: “All Quiet on the Western Front.” I think anyone with a passion for history has that moment where they realize that history is not about abstract concepts and kings and dates but is about real people who lived and breathed and had dreams and hopes. “All Quiet” was that for me, and it left a life-long impression on me when I read it as a teenager a few years from the age of the characters in the book.

What do you see for the future of historical miniature wargaming?

Oof, that is a dangerous question. I think I managed to predict the rise of “Warband” level games (games where you play a small force in skirmish actions and with some level of character progression between games). Right now, that idea has set the fantasy and sci-fi miniatures scenes on fire, with everyone churning out their own version of the concept.

In historical gaming, there are elements of it, but it has not been embraced to the same extent, possibly due to the grognard bias against skirmish games. I think if I had to put money on something, I would say watch out for historical skirmish games with campaign aspects or character progression in the next year or three.

I also think solo gaming is going to continue to gain in popularity and respectability, with more games developed primarily or even specifically for solo play. I am super excited to see this field because there is a lot of things that can be done here with how enemies arrive on the table, fog of war, and so forth, which is not possible in a conventional opposed game.

Playtesting, how important is it?

Very, but it’s also very misunderstood. I see people post all the time on forums about how they have been testing their game rules for 5 years. That sounds very impressive, but if you are only getting together 3 or 4 times a year in that time frame, you are basically starting over each time. Additionally, just playing the game with your own group is fine to iron out the basic problems of a game, but it will lose its value very quickly.

To get actual feedback, give the game to people who cannot ask you questions and let them figure it out. Now your text must stand on its own feet and must work without you being there to explain the intentions. That is the real test. I would say three games played by strangers is worth more than ten games with your usual Saturday group.

Of course, tracking down people who can understand the rules, will play the game, [and] report back to you, AND aren’t crazy is a challenge. If you post online, 50 people will say they would love to, and of those, two will read the book. Once you find reliable people who can give you good feedback, cling to them for dear life.

What are the benefits and pitfalls of self-publishing your own wargaming rules?

The biggest advantage is, of course, that you are in charge. What you want in the book goes, if you want a supplement, it will happen, and so forth. Additionally, your game will reflect what you wanted it to be. I think in [self-publishing], you get a lot clearer creative visions and indie gamers tend to gravitate towards that: A game that has something to say on the topic is extremely attractive, even if you disagree with a particular conclusion.

I try to do as much myself as I can, though, of course, I do rely on outside sources for things like artwork, feedback, etc. Part of that is that this way, I know I can support the product down the road: If I want to fix a rule where we came up with a better way of doing it, or I want to add a new section, I can do that.

The downside, of course, is that you are on your own: Your art is as good as your own wallet can make it, your book looks as good as you can make it (unless you pay for it), and so forth. You also must promote it yourself. If you are writing for something like Osprey, they have marketing power and money to put behind the project.

Anything else you would like to say to our readers?

Before you write a game, ban yourself from reading any game on the same topic for a few months. If you are writing a WW2 tank game, put all your WW2 games in a box and do not open it. You should be spending that time immersing yourself in the topic in the form of books, music, documentaries, or anything else. Never ever another game.

Also, it cannot hurt to blast some metal albums, at least in my experience.

At Epoch Xperience, we specialize in creating compelling narratives and provide research to give your game the kind of details that engage your players and create a resonant world they want to spend time in. If you are interested in learning more about our gaming research services, you can browse Epoch Xperience’s service on our parent site, SJR Research.

(This article is credited to Jason Weiser. Jason is a long-time wargamer with published works in the Journal of the Society of Twentieth Century Wargamers; Miniature Wargames Magazine; and Wargames, Strategy, and Soldier.)

#Wargame Miscellaneous #interview #wargaming #history #gaming

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ethelbertpaul444-blog · 6 years

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5 WTF Ways Trump Has Been Immortalized As Artwork

It wasn’t his knowledge of programme, his allure, or anything remotely leadership-like that led to the notoriety of Donald Trump. If anything, it was the ease and willingness with which he shifted himself into a walk-to meme, terminated with a fandom hectic originating fanfiction, love speculations( i.e. insane scheme presumptions ), and, of course, tons of bad fan art. Now are some of the weirdest and wildest slice in the current Trumpian artwork action for “youve got to” absorb before they find their way into the National Portrait Gallery. 5 Deep Dream Trump Is Pure Nightmare Fuel While computers are getting better at all that is induces humans so special( like opening openings ), there is one domain where we’ll always using them to outstrip: logical thinking. After all, it’s hard to have a sense of whimsy when a misplaced semicolon can return you into scrap. In information, a very close we’ve come to causing computers a life of unadulterated resource is through “deep learning” — software that resembled how our neutrons shoot and is perhaps the future of artificial intelligence. And like better now humans, we threw computers the knack of originality, merely to squander it on monstrosities like this TAGEND Chris Rodley That’s why you don’t share a teleporter with Muppets. div > This is a penetrating learning interpretation of one of Donald Trump’s lineage photos. And if you’re wondering why Melania looks like Miss Piggy on her action to her third divorce, that’s on purpose. This art is submitted in accordance with artist Chris Rodley plugging photographs of Donald Trump into a deep learn algorithm which was also “looking for images from Sesame Street . ” The outcome is this hellscape of unused faces, googly hearts, and wandering entrusts — plus elements from Sesame Street . Chris Rodley Courtesy of Industrial Light and Horror. It could be a lot worse, though. You could be looking at a video of Trump transformed into an awakened eldritch fright contending against the confines of our universe TAGEND Though on the plus line-up, Trump’s hair has never glanced more in its element. Eric Cheng/ YouTube Oh, like you’ve never had a wookiee sexuality dream. This nightmare fuel was brought into countries around the world by Eric Cheng, who said he formed it by plugging a video of a Trump speech into a penetrating learning algorithm that was simultaneously thinking about Cthulhu. The tier of Cthulhu influence was governed by the volume at which Trump was speaking. We’re lucky that it was one of his quieter rantings. If it had been about minorities or women, that video might have accidentally opened a wormhole into the domain of the Elder Ones. 4 All Hail God-Emperor Trump ! div> To a lot of internet manbabies, Trump is the eventual badass. He’s an ass-kicker and a risk-taker, a street fighter and shot-caller, the person who sets the Big Mac into Mack Daddy. Of course, in order to maintain that panorama of Trump, you have to constantly reject all of actuality . Fortunately, the internet boys help find a direction to readily block out the pesky true by superseding it with hardcore sci-fi devotee story! div > Meet God-Emperor Trump, may his choked arteries reign for infinity. Based on the lore of the favourite tabletop gaming universe Warhammer 40,000 , which is set in a ludicrously dystopian future, the cruddy back of the internet is filled with portraits of Trump as the iconic Ruler of Mankind, immortal lord of the human rights empire wreaking his never-ending fight to the undesirables. Experiences like wit, right? It isn’t. via The Flama via The Flama His armor appears to be made from the Ark of the Covenant, which is suitable, because it starts us want to melt our faces off. div > Sure, it’s pretty weird to pick an terrifying deity of fighting as the avatar for a buster who consumed alleged bone spurs as an excuse to get out of military imperative, but that’s where the total disenchantment comes in. via r/ Warhammer4 0k Robokoboto/ Art Abyss Carrying the skulls of his own allies doesn’t seem ominous at all. div > Read Next Teach Kids The Alphabet With These Medieval Death Prints But the likenes isn’t flattering for either slope. Testifying again that they have the racial revelation of someone who’s been in a lethargy since the ‘6 0s, Trump fanboys seem to not realize that this Emperor of Mankind is nothing more than a freakish monster whose “shattered, crumbling body can no longer reinforce life, ” or that his guideline gave rise to “technological and cultural rights stagnation, and a regression into totalitarianism, belief and religion obfuscation and intolerance.” So God-Emperor Trump is based on some creep who rulers over a dystopia in which mindless, alien-hating radicals sacrifice thousands daily to keep the bloated body of their oppressor ruler get. Maybe they did do their research after all. And to employ the cherry on the foolish neo-Nazi cake, the God-Emperor isn’t, uhm … grey. He was born in center Anatolia( Turkey) in 8,000 BC. Meaning the web fascists have made their white dominance superstar into a space-age Middle Eastern king. Warhammer 40 k Oh yeah, this guy is totes going to preserve the white race, you dolts. 3 The New “Alt-Right” Cartoon Mascot Affection Dressing Up As Trump You already know about Pepe, the cute comic book frog who became a hate representation. But since Pepe has come extremely mainstream, hardcore “alt-right” dudes have created a perfect mascot for the new Trump age: a poorly attracted copyright infringement. via Will Sommer/ Medium “Racist Frog, Reclining Nude” This corpulent little shit-grinner is Groyper. No, that’s not a Trump-inspired new Pokemon( although we understand the confusion ). We’re speak about Groyper the Frog, the MS Paint cartoon mascot for hardcore politicos . He even comes in numerous charming outfits for supporters to represent dress-up with( dog whistle sold separately ). There’s Papa John Groyper TAGEND via Slate “These chests actually contain Thirsty Howie’s.” div > Hulk Hogan Groyper TAGEND via Will Sommer/ Medium Even a special edition “Are you piqued yet? ” Burka Groyper TAGEND via Slate Don’t try to make sense of it. That channel madness lies. div > But amongst the favorite flavors of Groyper stands Trump Groyper, somehow searching less slimy as a lumpy frog TAGEND via Will Sommer/ Medium And the imitation mane on the phony Trump-toad glances little stupid than the real fuzz on the real Trump-golem. So if you’re wondering why all the worst accounts on Twitter swopped up their avatars to this, that’s why. It’s unquestionably not because Matt Furie, the inventor of Pepe, has started litigating the lily-white laces off of any popular enough website for copyright violation. No, it’s because Pepe isn’t refrigerate enough anymore. Not like Groyper, who’s too cool for clas — art school, specifically. Donald Trump/ Twitter 2 The Anti-Obama Oil Painter Now Remembers Trump Is The New Messiah Jon McNaughton is possibly one of history’s greatest masters. Not because he started anything magnificent or profound or thought-provoking, attention, but because his use are some of the goddamn funniest a few examples of theological right-wing bathos. Jon McNaughton First and foremost, why would you plant a tree three hoofs in front a target where people will be sitting? This lovely depict, entitled You Are Not Forgotten , boasts Herr Conditioner and attests that you can’t draw Trump look warm and charisma even if you choose him yourself. But the real glamour of McNaughton’s art lies in the fact that he’s merely a really, genuinely hacky government cartoonist with a better graze stroke tournament. He often boasts about the number of “symbols” he manages to stuff into a single canvas. Now, the topic is unity. That’s why a not-that-keen eye can will recognise that Everyman Trump is tower over a working-class kinfolk( whom he’s fastened) as they embed a flower( which he’s fucking kill) in front of a gather of veterans and soldiers( whom he dishonors ), disabled population( whom he doesn’t care about ), black people( whom he doesn’t like ), various cabinet members( whom he’s shelled ), police officers( whom he’s slandered ), and laborers( whom he doesn’t wage ). div > But McNaughton didn’t determine his refer by trimming half a dozen inches off of Trump’s waist. He became a republican beloved by taking drops on President Obama for a solid eight years. Here’s his interpretation of Obama’s domestic policy TAGEND Jon McNaughton Did you acknowledge the 9/11 symbolism? The situation that happened seven years before Obama was president, when a Republican was in office? His foreign policy TAGEND Jon McNaughton To be fair, Los Alamos does have a really nice golf course. div > His stance on Obamacare TAGEND Jon McNaughton There goes the plan for National Treasure 3. And here again is that classic, boasting Obama trampling over the rights of the very same working man who Trump will later save while all the good Republican chairpeople are screaming at him TAGEND Jon McNaughton “But I wanted to flora a tree there … “ div > Man, Obama really seems like a dick in these likeness. We’re amazed that the nuclear detonation didn’t feign his golf move, or that he escaped unharmed after dipping the Physique in napalm and placing it alight in his hand, although that’s to be expected when you’re Literally Satan. His abilities are truly ceaseless, as is his cruelty … as demonstrated by that time he pressured a soldier to eat a slice of a lesbian uniting cake. Jon McNaughton “It’s not even ice cream cake. Thanks, Obama.” Save us, President Trump! Save us from that tricky black sn- oh, you already have. Jon McNaughton There is an extremely famous pennant advising against this very thing! 1 Barron Trump, Manga Star While Trump himself has a unusually divisive sort of popularity, the same can’t tell me about the Trump brats — Ivanka, Donnie Jr ., and the one who looks like a hardboiled egg with a cheek gather on it. His spawn are nigh-universally humiliated, persistently putting their hoofs in those cavities they can’t ever seem to fully close. But one Trump kid is exempt from this ridicule: Barron, the unassuming, sweet-looking 12 -year-old who actually has to live in the White House with his mom and dad. Doing entertaining of a kid is not the nicest stuff to do, so two feelings masters have gone the other direction, trying to delve into the mind of this quiet son and figuring out the uproar he was required to impression from having the most powerful awful father-god in the whole world — in spectacular manga shape, natch. Yuusuke Hori “At least it’s not a racist amphibian.” div > This very melodramatic segment was announced by master Yuusuke Hori right after Trump’s inauguration. It testifies Barron in sparkly bishonen structure with a designation that reads “My loud, vexing dad is president, so the placid unassuming life I missed is totally over.” It was merely signified as a silly mockup blanket, but because it came insanely popular, we eventually got the for-realsies The Adventures Of Barron And His Loud-Mouthed President Father , i> and it’s everything we’ve ever wanted. Joy Ling Well, except for Trump not to be president, but still. To all the non-otaku out there, TAOBAHLMPF ( created by Brooklyn-based artist Joy Ling) envisions Barron, who really really was intended to “watch Netflix and play Pokemon, ” teaming with Sasha and Malia Obama to solve the puzzle bordering a “mysterious anomaly” that appeared after his father took office — which is not a polite method to refer to Kellyanne Conway. We don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but one of the central conflicts revolves around Barron trying to persuade his father to help situated events right. Oh, that’s liberty, Donald Jerwillickers Trump makes an appearance, or at least the DJT from the universe where he doesn’t is argued that exercising is a liberal scheme to sap his treasured bodily fluids. Joy Ling “Please don’t tell me which flui-“ “Semen.” Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about chilling history that you should definitely subscribe to . i> Art is great for telling some of the tension out, in case that’s a occasion you need to do in this day and age, so maybe pick up some Bob Ross oil depicts ? b > i> Support Cracked’s journalism with a tour to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you . b > i> For more, check out 8 Hilariously Offensive Artworks Featuring Famous Presidents and 5 Unsettling Sub-Genres Of Fan Art Lurking On The Internet . b > i> Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere . b > i> Read more: http :// www.cracked.com/ article_2 5547 _5-wtf-ways-trump-has-been-immortalized-as-artwork. html http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/05/31/5-wtf-ways-trump-has-been-immortalized-as-artwork/

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trendingnewsb · 6 years

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5 WTF Ways Trump Has Been Immortalized As Artwork

It wasn’t his knowledge of policy, his charm, or anything remotely leadership-like that led to the popularity of Donald Trump. If anything, it was the ease and willingness with which he turned himself into a walking meme, complete with a fandom busy creating fanfiction, fan theories (i.e. insane conspiracy theories), and, of course, tons of bad fan art. Here are some of the weirdest and wildest pieces in the current Trumpian art movement for you to absorb before they find their way into the National Portrait Gallery.

Deep Dream Trump Is Pure Nightmare Fuel

While computers are getting better at everything that makes humans so special (like opening doors), there is one area where we’ll always have them beat: abstract thought. After all, it’s hard to have a sense of whimsy when a misplaced semicolon can turn you into scrap. In fact, the closest we’ve gotten to giving computers a world of pure imagination is through “deep learning” — software that mimics how our neutrons fire and is perhaps the future of artificial intelligence. And like any good humans, we gave computers the gift of creativity, only to squander it on monstrosities like this:

Chris RodleyThat’s why you don’t share a teleporter with Muppets.

This is a deep learning interpretation of one of Donald Trump’s family photos. And if you’re wondering why Melania looks like Miss Piggy on her way to her third divorce, that’s on purpose. This art is the result of artist Chris Rodley plugging pictures of Donald Trump into a deep learning algorithm which was also “looking for images from Sesame Street.” The result is this hellscape of vacant expressions, googly eyes, and wandering hands — plus elements from Sesame Street.

Chris RodleyCourtesy of Industrial Light and Horror.

It could be a lot worse, though. You could be looking at a video of Trump transformed into an awakened eldritch horror struggling against the confines of our universe:

youtube

Though on the plus side, Trump’s hair has never looked more in its element.

Eric Cheng/YouTubeOh, like you’ve never had a wookiee sex dream.

This nightmare fuel was brought into our world by Eric Cheng, who said he created it by plugging a video of a Trump speech into a deep learning algorithm that was simultaneously thinking about Cthulhu. The level of Cthulhu influence was governed by the volume at which Trump was speaking. We’re lucky that it was one of his quieter rants. If it had been about minorities or women, that video might have accidentally opened a wormhole into the domain of the Elder Ones.

All Hail God-Emperor Trump!

To a lot of internet manbabies, Trump is the ultimate badass. He’s an ass-kicker and a risk-taker, a street fighter and shot-caller, the guy who puts the Big Mac into Mack Daddy. Of course, in order to maintain that view of Trump, you have to constantly ignore all of reality. Fortunately, the internet boys have found a way to easily block out the pesky truth by replacing it with hardcore sci-fi fan fiction!

Meet God-Emperor Trump, may his clogged arteries reign for eternity. Based on the lore of the popular tabletop gaming universe Warhammer 40,000, which is set in a ludicrously dystopian future, the cruddy side of the internet is filled with images of Trump as the iconic Emperor of Mankind, immortal ruler of the human empire bringing his never-ending war to the undesirables. Feels like satire, right? It isn’t.

via The Flama

via The FlamaHis armor appears to be made from the Ark of the Covenant, which is appropriate, since it makes us want to melt our faces off.

Sure, it’s pretty weird to pick an awesome god of war as the avatar for a dude who used alleged bone spurs as an excuse to get out of military duty, but that’s where the total disillusion comes in.

via r/Warhammer40k

Robokoboto/Art AbyssCarrying the skulls of his own supporters doesn’t seem ominous at all.

Read Next

Teach Kids The Alphabet With These Medieval Death Prints

But the comparison isn’t flattering for either side. Showing again that they have the cultural insight of someone who’s been in a coma since the ’60s, Trump fanboys seem to not realize that this Emperor of Mankind is nothing more than a freakish ghoul whose “shattered, decaying body can no longer support life,” or that his rule gave rise to “technological and cultural stagnation, and a regression into tyranny, superstition and religious obfuscation and intolerance.” So God-Emperor Trump is based on some creep who rules over a dystopia in which mindless, alien-hating fanatics sacrifice thousands daily to keep the bloated corpse of their despot ruler going. Maybe they did do their research after all.

And to put the cherry on the dumb neo-Nazi cake, the God-Emperor isn’t, uhm … white. He was born in central Anatolia (Turkey) in 8,000 BC. Meaning the web fascists have turned their white supremacy hero into a space-age Middle Eastern king.

Warhammer 40kOh yeah, this guy is totes going to preserve the white race, you dolts.

The New “Alt-Right” Cartoon Mascot Loves Dressing Up As Trump

You already know about Pepe, the lovable comic book frog who became a hate symbol. But since Pepe has gotten too mainstream, hardcore “alt-right” dudes have created a perfect mascot for the new Trump age: a poorly drawn copyright infringement.

via Will Sommer/Medium“Racist Frog, Reclining Nude”

This corpulent little shit-grinner is Groyper. No, that’s not a Trump-inspired new Pokemon (although we understand the confusion). We’re talking about Groyper the Frog, the MS Paint cartoon mascot for hardcore politicos. He even comes in many adorable outfits for fans to play dress-up with (dog whistle sold separately). There’s Papa John Groyper:

via Slate“These boxes actually contain Hungry Howie’s.”

Hulk Hogan Groyper:

via Will Sommer/Medium

Even a special edition “Are you offended yet?” Burka Groyper:

via SlateDon’t try to make sense of it. That way madness lies.

But among the favorite flavors of Groyper stands Trump Groyper, somehow looking less slimy as a lumpy frog:

via Will Sommer/MediumAnd the fake hair on the fake Trump-toad looks less ridiculous than the real hair on the real Trump-golem.

So if you’re wondering why all the worst accounts on Twitter switched up their avatars to this, that’s why. It’s definitely not because Matt Furie, the creator of Pepe, has started suing the white laces off of any popular enough site for copyright infringement. No, it’s because Pepe isn’t cool enough anymore. Not like Groyper, who’s too cool for school — art school, specifically.

Donald Trump/Twitter

The Anti-Obama Oil Painter Now Thinks Trump Is The New Messiah

Jon McNaughton is possibly one of history’s greatest artists. Not because he created anything breathtaking or profound or thought-provoking, mind, but because his works are some of the goddamn funniest examples of religious right-wing bathos.

Jon McNaughtonFirst and foremost, why would you plant a tree three feet in front a place where people will be sitting?

This lovely painting, titled You Are Not Forgotten, features Herr Conditioner and proves that you can’t make Trump look warm and charming even if you draw him yourself. But the real beauty of McNaughton’s art lies in the fact that he’s just a really, really hacky political cartoonist with a better brush stroke game. He often boasts about the number of “symbols” he manages to stuff into a single canvas. Here, the theme is unity. That’s why a not-that-keen eye can will spot that Everyman Trump is looming over a working-class family (whom he’s screwed) as they plant a flower (which he’s going to kill) in front of a crowd of veterans and soldiers (whom he dishonors), disabled people (whom he doesn’t care about), black people (whom he doesn’t like), various cabinet members (whom he’s fired), police officers (whom he’s insulted), and laborers (whom he doesn’t pay).

But McNaughton didn’t make his name by trimming half a dozen inches off of Trump’s waist. He became a conservative darling by taking dumps on President Obama for a solid eight years. Here’s his interpretation of Obama’s domestic policy:

Jon McNaughtonDid you notice the 9/11 symbolism? The thing that happened seven years before Obama was president, when a Republican was in office?

His foreign policy:

Jon McNaughtonTo be fair, Los Alamos does have a really nice golf course.

His stance on Obamacare:

Jon McNaughtonThere goes the plot for National Treasure 3.

And here again is that classic, featuring Obama trampling over the rights of the very same working man who Trump will later save while all the good Republican presidents are yelling at him:

Jon McNaughton“But I wanted to plant a tree there …”

Man, Obama really seems like a dick in these portraits. We’re surprised that the nuclear blast didn’t affect his golf swing, or that he escaped unharmed after dipping the Constitution in napalm and setting it alight in his hand, although that’s to be expected when you’re Literally Satan. His abilities are truly unending, as is his cruelty … as demonstrated by that time he forced a soldier to eat a slice of a gay wedding cake.

Jon McNaughton“It’s not even ice cream cake. Thanks, Obama.”

Save us, President Trump! Save us from that treacherous black sn- oh, you already have.

Jon McNaughtonThere is an extremely famous flag advising against this very thing!

Barron Trump, Manga Star

While Trump himself has a very divisive sort of popularity, the same can’t be said about the Trump children — Ivanka, Donnie Jr., and the one who looks like a hardboiled egg with a face drawn on it. His spawn are nigh-universally ridiculed, constantly putting their feet in those mouths they can’t ever seem to fully close. But one Trump kid is exempt from this ridicule: Barron, the unassuming, sweet-looking 12-year-old who actually has to live in the White House with his mom and dad. Making fun of a kid is not the nicest thing to do, so two sensitive artists have gone the other direction, trying to delve into the mind of this quiet boy and figuring out the turmoil he must feel from having the most powerful terrible father in the whole world — in fabulous manga form, natch.

Yuusuke Hori“At least it’s not a racist amphibian.”

This very melodramatic piece was posted by artist Yuusuke Hori right after Trump’s inauguration. It shows Barron in sparkly bishonen form with a title that reads “My loud, annoying dad is president, so the quiet unassuming life I wanted is completely over.” It was only meant as a silly mockup cover, but because it got insanely popular, we eventually got the for-realsies The Adventures Of Barron And His Loud-Mouthed President Father, and it’s everything we’ve ever wanted.

Joy LingWell, except for Trump not to be president, but still.

To all the non-otaku out there, TAOBAHLMPF (created by Brooklyn-based artist Joy Ling) sees Barron, who really just wants to “watch Netflix and play Pokemon,” teaming with Sasha and Malia Obama to solve the puzzle surrounding a “mysterious anomaly” that appeared after his father took office — which is not a polite way to refer to Kellyanne Conway. We don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but one of the central conflicts revolves around Barron trying to persuade his father to help put things right. Oh, that’s right, Donald Jerwillickers Trump makes an appearance, or at least the DJT from the universe where he doesn’t believe that exercise is a liberal plot to sap his precious bodily fluids.

Joy Ling“Please don’t tell me which flui-“ “Semen.”

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.

Art is great for letting some of the tension out, in case that’s a thing you need to do in this day and age, so maybe pick up some Bob Ross oil paints?

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For more, check out 8 Hilariously Offensive Artworks Featuring Famous Presidents and 5 Unsettling Sub-Genres Of Fan Art Lurking On The Internet.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25547_5-wtf-ways-trump-has-been-immortalized-as-artwork.html

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5 WTF Ways Trump Has Been Immortalized As Artwork

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5 WTF Ways Trump Has Been Immortalized As Artwork

Deep Dream Trump Is Pure Nightmare Fuel

Chris RodleyThat’s why you don’t share a teleporter with Muppets.

Chris RodleyCourtesy of Industrial Light and Horror.

It could be a lot worse, though. You could be looking at a video of Trump transformed into an awakened eldritch horror struggling against the confines of our universe:

youtube

Though on the plus side, Trump’s hair has never looked more in its element.

Eric Cheng/YouTubeOh, like you’ve never had a wookiee sex dream.

All Hail God-Emperor Trump!

via The Flama

via The FlamaHis armor appears to be made from the Ark of the Covenant, which is appropriate, since it makes us want to melt our faces off.

via r/Warhammer40k

Robokoboto/Art AbyssCarrying the skulls of his own supporters doesn’t seem ominous at all.