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#but at the same time im like… so ready to just post this thang and be DONE with it
clowningaroundmars · 1 month
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page full o' hobies 🎸
top pose inspired by @spectra-bear
process pics under da cut ↓
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cherizzx · 24 days
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My Perfect
L x Chubby Reader
A.N: ( See even though im like late I STILL POSTED! im on like grind yall but, this man so fine I'm like i must write my deepest soul wrenching words about him)
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I'm not perfect.
That's it. I tried every day as a kid to be perfect; pretty hair, small frame, soft voice everything to look desirable to others I tried to be. In high school I needed to be bold, thicker but not too thick, tall but too tall; never speak overly passionate it was a turn off, don't wear too much makeup it's like I'm a slut, and never can venture out and find a comfortable look for me. I never let the girl inside eat.
I wasn't berated though? Yes, I got stares when I wore something sitting and people saw my stomach, like yes mothafucka I got a stomach y'all thought it was a huge ass pot in my shirt? Yes, I did get the ' I'm sO cOnFideNt!' talk when I ate something like fruit, who doesn't like pineapple? When shopping I had looks of could I fit this or that and nobody ever comforted me when I would cry about not fitting jeans.
I was never perfect. But he never cared.
*Back to when Light didn't find the Death Note yet*
Log In: June 23, 2017
" What are you having for lunch?" was asked by my closest coworker, Maria she and I was friends since our college days when cramming information about law, statistics, and for some reason Shakespeare; we were forever. I turned to her in this damn rolling chair that was obviously not made for a girl with that thang back there, I mean why is half my leg practically on the floor? I thought about it for a second.
" I could go for quick burger, what about you?
" That's fine! Also did you finish your report? I didn't even get to..." I just stared at her though my head in space, Maria turned to see what I'm looking at and she saw a strange man walking inside the room.
" Um...I don't think he works here?"
" Is this when we got to fight for our lives? I don't have no weapon."
The man tall, dark unruly hair not curly though it looks like a one of those emo people from the 2000's like my chemical romance vibes, he has a homeless man look on him...its kind of sexy thought but, he doesn't work here?
We watch him while towards us and goes to the head manager cubicle that two rows ahead of us. We look at each other and look down acting like we're working but, we really being nosy. We hear only indicant chatter and the strange man's voice, his name is Riuzaki? Or Rukai? I don't know and our manager asked again, and he ignored the question and started talking about something different. Kind of rude but, with the way our manager is I'd do the same; Maria looks at me and looks at the time and tells me it our lunch break so, we both get up and I make sure to push down my jacket a habit I did as a teen to look slimmer, we walk out and down the little pathway to the front of the office when we get close to the strange man I turn my head down, his eyes immediately traced to me and he stared at me and he turned, kind of weird his eye contact was intense!
We walked over to the company lunch places inside it's a tiny burger spot filled with American dishes; we haven't really eaten there so we decided to try it out since it was also raining. Maria order first, a chicken salad with extra chicken and cheese with a large drink and dessert then it's me, a cheeseburger with fries and a large drink with a cookie; we wait a bit and sat down at a two-seat table and we talk about the sight we just saw.
" I wonder if he's trying to get a job here? "
" For what though? we ain't got nothing available yet."
" What if they fired somebody!? I heard but I didn't hear from department C that somebody was overusing company resources and they got let go."
" Omg, who?" Maria was going to say but we hear a buzz, and our food was ready we grabbed a tray and the person who gave us our orders gives me a look, ya'know the look of ' Breaking that diet huh?' Its common but still is annoying so I mean mug him back and he backs off. Sitting down we talk about our topics of choice like vacations, fashion trends, the latest news when the man from earlier comes down; didn't even see him till he pulled up a chair beside me and stared. Like what?
" Oh, Hello!" I introduced myself and Maria does the same, but how says nothing and stared at me.
" Are you going to eat that?" He points at a strawberry cookie I got, I look and shake my head "no' even though I was saving it I give it to him and smiled. He takes it and thanks me and then turned to Maria and asked how she feels about the company. Now, Maria is a sweet girl but, if she can't say her opinion without lying so she tries to say it's wonderful but, he caught on.
" Don't lie. I'm not going to do anything."
" Oh! but I'm not! really it's a won-"
" Your eyes turned up, when some people lie, they eyes turn up to think of somethings. Your hands turned over into a clasped position saying you're more of nervous than calm when I asked."
She's shocked and so am I, he takes a bite of the cookie and then looks at me to which I look away and he stares at me; deep black eyes pierced into, and I just look away because if I looked back what if he jumps me and I gotta kick and scream like that would be so embarrassing!
" Are you nervous?
" No, never"
" Hm...You look uncomfortable" He continued eating and I looked at Maria with a head tilt.
" So, what's making me uncomfortable."
" Your clothes, your shoes are hurting your feet by the way you walked quickly, and you have the heels of them off" He responded quickly, and I was shocked I mean he didn't lie. I just look and Maria excused her and mouthed ' Whoop his ass' and went to the bathroom, so now it's just us. We look at each other and I just shook my head and began eating again. He just looks at me and then turns his body towards me completely.
" What?"
" Do you like your position here?"
If I had the choice between working here and $20, I would pick $20 and a bag of skittles, it has it benefits from time to time but it not worth the headaches and long hours and I tell him just that. He hums and says nobody ever been that honest and I could care less, I listen and eat when he asked another question.
" If you're really don't like how you look why don't you change it"
It wasn't even a question it was like a statement like he knew, he knew from when he stared at me, he watched me. I look at him shocked and I just chuckled and threw the rest of my food away and left, texting Maria that I got sick. Walking away I see him get up and follow me, so ignored him; he just walked beside me and just looks either at me or around him hunched over like he finna throw up. Like what compells somebody to say that? Did he think I'm the one to try to play around with thing you'll get a good joke ooutta me? I should've shoved that damn drink up his stuck up ugy big headed-
" Your mumbling"
"...ok"
" If what I said made you mad just say it"
" If I did I'll go to jail for man slaughter."
He just chuckled, even though I'm pissed he sounded a little smexyyy but, I'll still beat his ass. I keep walking towards the parking lot, and he grabbed my arm asking can he be honest.
" I mean if back there wasn't honest I don't know what is"
He just stared (he got a staring problem) and began talking about how he meant that he saw me adjusting my jacket a habit he saw a lot of girls do when they want to look slimmer, then he saw the look his manger gave us me when I walked past, he said it was in utter disgust. As he went on all the insecurities from the past came again the girl inside of me just began to show, I looked at him blank, my hands started to sweat, my thoughts ran through me like a train, and I couldn't hold it anymore as a sob slipped through like butter from my mouth. I wiped my face and took a deep breath.
" Being a girl in Japan is hard, being black in Japan is harder, being a fat girl and black in Japan is like a war zone every day in my mind. From stares, to the so called ' complements', to everything inside growing out of me is like a constant war zone. Having men look at me like a 3rd class citizen is the problem, having girls treat me like I'm beneath them was the problem and no one had a problem with it."
" But who could care? It's not like I can change what they say with the attitude they expect from a black girl. I'm not perfect but, they wanted me to be and how am I going to achieve that? Huh?"
I stopped for one second and he just said nothing, all the bottled-up feelings I've had just overwhelmed me and I overshared.
" I think your perfect"
" Lying is a sin ya'know"
" Then good I'm an atheist. Your look is perfect."
How can somebody look perfect? With a body like this, my skin to people in this country are like a permanent plague, and my hair is just a warning to them on its own. I am not perfect, but he thinks I am. He's trying to help me feel better and it's not going to work.
" If this is perfect then-'
" You're not going to believe something if you denie it so much."
This man says that beautiful is different to everyone, like what people grew up with which is skinny, fair skin, and cute people they think it's a standard and everyone that's not all three of those traits are ugly. He said the way I feel is how he felt as a child he was never built manly, he was always so small and skinny people thought he was sick. It never bothered him; he seemed wiser as a kid then the whole world at its years; I couldn't even disagree with any statements I always found how people views change when they see unique things or common things and associate them with ugliness or beauty.
" For a homeless man your very smart"
"...I'm not homeless."
" Oh...then why you dress like you've seen a clothing store in life."
" I have seen a clothing store. I just don't see the appeal of dressing up."
He's an emo hippie. But nevertheless, I just listen and make my own few points. We continued walking and he stops me again.
" What's your name?"
" Reader Last Name, and your?
" Call me L"
' Hello L"
" Hello Reader"
Now we walk in comfortable silence, by the time I'm by the garage L asked for my number, his contact now ' Emo Hippie' and mines?
'My Perfect'
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A.N: ( i finshed! I love this one because i feel this irl about my body type but, i got over it and it's kind of hard to write L's dialogue without making him sound rude because he's only nonchalant. But, let me know if you like it!
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kimnjss · 2 years
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1. Lemme tell you. Ooh Namjoon is nicer than me. At this point I feel like the reader knows about his feelings and doing subtle things to let him know she isn’t interested. Its clear her and Tae are imaptient. So if she had the same feelings she would have spoken up by now. She is conflict avoidant.
2. Im glad he went and spent time with new boo and Jikook. Thats a friendship I didnt expect to happen. I also think Jimin is smarter than people think and is keeping him out occupied for Tae’s convenience.
3. Not her posting and almost identical post to Jungooks about their boo thangs being hungry. Completely nauseating.
4. As I mentioned earlier, I know the reader isnt stupid, so I need her to grow up and let Joon down. And stop acting clueless.
5. I can sense a written chapter upon us and I know this outing bout to drama. Cause Joon and Tae openly dont fuck with each other. I cannot wait.
1. yeah yn is definitely not one to wait around for something that she wants . nd after all of this time nd the closeness between her nd joon - if she had the bit of inkling that things would work out between them ., she would've done something by now . as for her knowing whether or not he has feelings for her ., that's a bit grey bc he himself doesn't really acknowledge the feelings that he has for her when they're arising bc it's constantly on nd off .
2. JIMIN KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING !! the man is team taehyung no matter what !! a straight shooter for his best friend nd he's not going to let anyone get in the way of his happiness (also know that jimin met tae right after he moved ., so he def saw him at his lowest) . him introducing joon to maika at the party was NOT a coincidence .
3. those couples are one in the same !! just completely obsessed with one another nd ready to fight anyone who tries to hurt the other one (mainly bc they've hurt them in the past nd refuse anyone else to do it) .
4. while joons feelings are obvious to everyone around her ., she's most likely purposely ignoring them to save for any awkwardness in their friends . especially bc he's so on nd off with them ., it doesn't seem worth ruining everything . but at the same time . she really could just be oblivious to it .
5. this outing is definitely going to be filled with a lot of drama ! yn was not smart with inviting taehyung along . joon does not hide how he feels abt him nd tae isn't one to bite his tongue when he feels a bit of hostility .
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queenieloveswriting · 4 years
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Little orange bottles
A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone 
*beep     beep     beep*
Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.
Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!
You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner; 
*DAISYS SCHEDULE*
6:30-wake up
6:45-shower
7:00-get ready
7:20-read
7:50-breakfast/pillz 
8:00-head to Heywards
Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top  covering  just to the bottom of you skirt 
You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting  goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.
Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you   a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.
“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose 
“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.
“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied  holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed
“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked
“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.
Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”
As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.
“Sorry about them”he mumbled 
“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.
He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again
“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged 
“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked 
“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”
You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.
“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first  lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex
Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.
 You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.
After your  last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.
“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.
It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.
You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years  left. this was bad.
“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath 
She glared swigging the bottle 
“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted 
“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“
“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed 
“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation 
“I’ll get another  job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll  get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”
“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic  you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”
Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red. 
“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“
Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.
she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect  your arm wrapping  it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship 
So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie 
“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone 
“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered 
“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”
“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“
He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”
“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “
“Fuck where are you daisy “
“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe
“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”
“O-okay”
Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you  could hear pope shouting in the distance.
“Shit daisy”he shouted 
“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”
Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being  the one to calm you from them,/
“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes 
“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.
He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.
where was your home now?.
“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?
Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe 
“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.
“Your dad?”he answers for you 
You nodded
“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.
“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes 
Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is  daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting
“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed 
“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no  I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion
You tore away from his gaze to the the floors 
“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two 
“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.
“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”
“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled
”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive
“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself 
Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down. 
“Why”he snapped
“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself 
“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence. 
You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare. 
“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted
After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?
After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.
You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now
“Hey daisy” he broke the silence
“Hm”you humed
“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed
“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded
“Daisy”he sighed
“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel  like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder
“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded
“I’m know i Just”you paused
“I know”he cut in 
“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”
“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised
Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone 
“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine  i don't think you’ll b--”
You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed
You popped your head through to the front
“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.
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blckcarmine · 7 years
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Nah I'm mad as hell
So I've had a crush on this guy since the beginning of time, he knew this too. We used to talk HEAVY like we don't even live in the same state and I was seeing him every weekend in VA. So he tells me he's not ready for a relationship and I let him rock (he's had a divorce not too long ago) and I'm like okay I'll cut him some slack, his ex-wife was some bum bitch. (He's 23 and in the military, you know they get married at like the age of 5) so time goes on I still hit him up once in a while because I really liked him and that was my best friend. I see him posting up pictures of this female and I'm like 🤔 why does he consistently post thing about this girl. So of course I ask. He's like no it's just my friend. I'm like iight bet. A week later (tonight) he posts another picture. Im like okay....... that's ya boo thang? He's like nah that's just my crush. Then I'm like oh .. okay. Then he's like nah Ima give u the whole answer ... that's my girl. BOY I never wanted to fight a nigga so bad. Like I dead want to shoot the heady with him. I'm like deadass????? After u told me that u didn't want. A relationship and u knew that I went for you and this the bullshit u do? Iight bet, say no more. He's like no don't be like that. Like nah nigga fuck you.
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Episode 9 “Find out who your true friends are” -Aromal
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I DID IT I BEAT 15 DAYS I BEAT 13TH PLACE AND I MADE JURY AND PROBABLY MERGE I FEEL HOT
(a little bit later)
I'm so sad bc Dana has been the REALEST w me since day 1 and Mitchell lied to me about his idol so idek if I can fully trust him anymore and aaaaaah Looks like its me Mitchell Matt willow allie aro and whoever Mitch can pull over from the other tribe but I'm really sad my mom was idoled out its just not fair
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i hate double tribals i really do especially if its one world since everyone has to say something to someone else in order to save their homies and ALLLL offense i still hate the small talk so like what else is there for me to do besides get ma plants and chill. so the round started off with willow trying to talk to me but then completely going missing but then talking to johnny (home boy af btw. squad in the house) about how she can save all the newbies using mitchell and danas vote which basically confirmed what i already knew of the old makiura alliance being tight. but that only leaves 2 people to get voted out and that is me or ryan which 1. duh and 2. not today satan. i quickly established ma thang with johnny even more so he can continue to give me info that i needed on the newbies like aro/zak having an idol to use on each other, lily having the makiura one, etc but it also got me thinking that maybe i should continue to try talking to the newbies cause they seem festive but then willow goes and lies so i said fuck dat. ryan and johnny made like 2 alliances with us on the same day which i high key didnt see the point of doing bottthhh but ya know be festive. they came up with this idea of splitting votes which i never like doing really since it is really sus af but i told them ayy great plan whatever just to make them not yell at me for not being alive but thEN! i was like this high key makes no sense to do??? so if there is a rat then im just going to stfu so no one can have tea on me and guess what. RYAN THE RAT???? [4/24/17, 8:52:11 PM] Dana Barry: So i know there's a vote split [4/24/17, 8:52:20 PM] Dana Barry: Not to be blunt [4/24/17, 8:52:49 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Okay :S [4/24/17, 8:54:07 PM] ~~Johnny~~: How do you know about the split? [4/24/17, 8:57:19 PM] Dana Barry: Ryan is blowing up your alliances game to gain favor on the other side [4/24/17, 8:57:31 PM] Dana Barry: They literally all know and have been in contact since the plan was conceived [4/24/17, 8:58:50 PM] Dana Barry: I know we havent talked a lot, but i really didnt think you were going to vote me [4/24/17, 8:58:56 PM] ~~Johnny~~: And I’m assuming that Ryan has been getting you guys to vote for someone else? [4/24/17, 8:59:00 PM] ~~Johnny~~: That isn’t LA? [4/24/17, 8:59:09 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Because Mitchell just said that he wasn’t voting for LA [4/24/17, 8:59:13 PM] Dana Barry: Nah it isnt [4/24/17, 8:55:19 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Why do you even think that though? [4/24/17, 8:55:36 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: Is it not true though? [4/24/17, 8:56:42 PM] ~~Johnny~~: It is [4/24/17, 8:57:12 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: I figured lol [4/24/17, 8:57:25 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: If we're being honest I've never been voting for LA [4/24/17, 8:57:37 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Who were you voting for..? [4/24/17, 8:58:07 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: If y'all tryna sneak split vote me out why would I give that up ! [4/24/17, 8:58:40 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Well, I didn’t want you out, and you were getting 2, but now I’m being told information about how you guys found it out [4/24/17, 8:59:06 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: Someone's got some pretty loose lips on ur side [4/24/17, 8:59:15 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Ryan? [4/24/17, 8:59:22 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: Not to name names but there's a reason this person went 6 times without making single digits idk mitchell and dana are savage as fuck fdkughdk (but yeah we all know the rest. and dana got voted out by someone who was too busy sleeping to know what the fuck was happening. if that is not me!) the alliance chat is popping tho of ryan and johnny arguing. turns out mitchell is just annoying and likes to spread shit so who is really the rat. hm. the answer to that is good ol' matt. the most annoying guy to talk to and the main person i have been dying to leave for ages. god. literally he has been against my side since the start of this game and he continues to make things hard for himself.... if you are going to be a rat dont be obvi? i still dont 100% trust ryan but i do trust that matt is fucking ratatouille in the flesh so there is that. cant even just pay attention to his own tribal ctfu. I HATE THESE PEOPLE ESPECIALLYLYLLYYLYLYL HIM
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Well this has officially been the craziest episode whatever you can call it of the season. Jacob went home as planned after complete chaos with Willow. Basically she told him I was targeting him just because she felt bad and it's cute and all that she has a good heart, but seriously she needs to get it together before I vote her off too. I think I have a lot of enemies now, obviously Jacob voted me and RTP played an idol and saved his ass after somehow Mitchell and Dana got everyone to vote him which was wild. I am so sad about Dana it's unreal I loved that girl. Now I still have Mitchell who hopefully hasn't lost any faith in me after I told Willow he had the idol, oops, and then lied to him and said I didn't say that because I can't own up to anything I did. Right now I am cooking I think, I got numbers, Mitchell, Allie, Willow, Zak, Aro, and even Johnny, and hopefully when it comes down to it I will be at the tippy top of the alliance since I believe firmly I have close relationships with many of these people. I flushed two idols tonight btw, and Daisy who had one, so in my two tribal councils I've literally just triple flushed idols like a really stinky poo. Ryan is mad at me but is willing to play the game but I don't trust his ass really.
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Final Confessional! I just got voted out, and I'm not actually very sad because i went out WITH A BANG and i'm on jury, where I will make it my mission to ruin lives. Effectively, nobody is this damn game can keep their mouth shut, which was both the best and worst part of this season. As I said in my last Conf., Matt was feeding us info, but basically fucked up that line of communication by getting himself caught as a snake. But about 2 hrs before tribal, Mitch and I get word that the other 5 on our tribe are splitting votes 3-2 for me to go out because they thought I could have an idol I guess. So at this point, Mitch and I were voting RTP and it looked like i was definitely goin. Mitch's idol wasn't going to be useful for us there, because even if he had given it to me (which he wouldn't have), there would have been a tie for him and RTP and his ass was grass at that point. So basically, we're tryin to think of options like 1.5hrs before tribal, and so Mitch and I just start goin nuts. I'm saying all this crazy shit to LA to make her vote with me: [4/24/17, 8:30:29 PM] Dana Barry: Listen- i know you guys are splitting for me tonight, but i wanted to talk to you first. [4/24/17, 8:39:09 PM] Dana Barry: I know we havent talked a lot- and there's not really much incentive for you to want to vote with me, but Ryan has been throwing you under the bus for days, basically since the game started. He wants nuTemoana to be a thing post- merge, which automatically leaves you out of any plan he has. [4/24/17, 8:44:06 PM] Dana Barry: I love ryan as a person- but he isn't with you long term, and i know you'd be taking a risk, but at merge we would have numbers. Also i'd be willing to vote whoever you are interested in taking out tonight, which would be a big move for you in this game, because inevitably you will make it far. This would build a lot of trust, which i DO NOT betray unless i find people are coming for me in this game. Sorry this is a lot, just something to consider as someone outside of the core alliance. [4/24/17, 8:45:53 PM] Dana Barry: Obviously this means I have no idol, so if you don't want me out and want options down the line, i'm here and i have no more options. And Mitch is on call with Johnny tellin him about how shady RTP is, and then eventually I get on with them where i'm literally hiding out in the bathroom of the bar to talk to them. So then we're all about to vote RTP, and for a minute there is some consideration for Lexi, but then Johnny is like nah RTP doesn't have an idol. OK-so at this point the four of us could just vote RTP. Then someone tells Lexi to also vote RTP, which she does. EXCEPT SOME FUCKER TELLS RTP TO PLAY HIS IDOL BECAUSE WE'RE ALL ABOUT TO VOTE HIS ASS OUT. LIKE OMG PLS EVERYONE HAVE SOME CHILL. So I know that Mitch has the idol, and i'm the only one on our tribe, so both he and RTP play idol, meaning that because Luca was asleep and voted me, my ass gets voted out. While I'm not sure how RTP found out he needed to play the idol, my best guess is Lex? Idk her well and she would be the most likely to be close to him and then just vote him as a cover for herself. Alternatively, some things were getting funky with the other tribe, where basically Matt and Willow (who was also being fed info by Johnny. like what?) also knew how desperately Mitch and I were trying to save me, and so maybe they reached out to RTP for some odd reason. Am I happy? NO.  But also I was so problematique tonight and really caused a problem, which is absolutely my aesthetic and i wouldn't have played it any other way. So, peace out Solomon, get ready for your most vocal juror. Please Mitch- you better be dancin and win this. 
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Hey! Remember me! I'm still here! Barely.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3ykj-8n1M4&feature=youtu.be 
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Mitchell is the gayest straight boy I know and I know myself when I was 12.
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Yay I made both jury and merge! :D Double yayy for making merge with a majority alliance! :D First merge vote is looking like Ryan and even people outside our alliance wants him gone. Rip
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This flag making challenge made me mad because I had an okay idea, but then the app I was using crashed like 50 fucking times, and so I lost all my progress. Since i kept loosing all my progress I didn't even finish with the extension oops. But if I had more time my idea was gonna be to also add quotes of what people have said in the tribe chat next to their icons.
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Pino Noir Caviar, Myanmar, mid-sized car You don't have to be popular Find out who your true friends are Pino Noir In the boudoir (in the boudoir) Pino Noir, smoke a cigar Revenge can be spectacular Pino Noir x4 (Pino Noir) Pino Noir, leather bar Oh so close and yet so far Pino Noir x4 (Pino Noir) Pino Noir, you're a star Listen to Tom Berenger Pino Noir, Rosenbar Pino Noir Au Revoir
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I won my first individual immunity !!! *screams* I didn't think I'd actually win this one but yay. I'm excited but I'm also really worried, people say I'm good at challenges and this win is definitely gonna put a bigger target on my back. It doesn't help that we tried to vote out Ryan either, cause obviously we are gonna have some trust issues now, we're still working together cause he says it's fine but he could just be saying that. It was weird having to talk to someone after voting them, usually the people I vote go home so this was the first time I had to talk to someone and try and fix the relationship and be like it was nothing personal. I'll see how this goes though, I need to try and be more social, its still my biggest problem.
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ayo! its time to party aka have a heart attack for the rest of the night cause i hate major votes like this and this is the most important vote since the start of the game.... im gonna die. anyways so prior to the merge i guess some of the female newbies were tired of the attitudes given to them by the returnee males like matt and mitchell (which understandable lmao i hate being told what to do even tho i dont show it most of the time) so they came to pretty much everyone and expressed their interest in switching to the other side namely ryan johnny and i's side. the thing is, i know i can trust allie since she hasnt proven otherwise that she can't but willow is just a very shady person to talk to and she is very much not talking game with me so as of now, who knows what she is actually doing. it also concerns since she is the one that told mitchell and dana about the plan we had to split the votes so that obviously doesnt make me want to trust her to any extent. in hand with that, luca has also been very weird and i can't trust him as far as i can throw him which isnt very far since im barely 5 feet so... bleh. he was trying to get ryan out before the start of the reward challenge and i just do not know man! these newbies suck ass. and not in the good way! but yeah i won the reward hehe and got the idol clue hehe but found nothing... so 2/3 isnt bad i suppose for this round and i knew i wasn't winning immunity since everyone in this fucking community talks the exact same way like what is in the juice? speaking of the juice... these people got very drunk last night and normally i love drunk people but last night.. a moment in time. funny enough karen was also drunk but she was a nice convo to have. but yeah about the drunk people, i dont know if johnny is trying to be the next parvati or he actually believes what he is saying to me for some reason but i will not take the bait. at times like this i appreciate my lack of social skills. but thats all folks. hopefully matt leaves (or ryan tbh as long as it is NOT me) and that alliance is shook to the core.
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So we just all said it's supposed to be Ryan and people are deadass so quiet rn that I'm like getting paranoid it's gonna be me but I don't wanna be that person who overthinks and then cut to me overreacting and making a dumb move and losing everyone's trust, so I'm just gonna keep my cool and if it's me tonight or something crazy allow this confessional to be proof that my ass ain't surprised.
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DO I HAVE A LOT TO FUCKING SAY IF IM STILL HERE IN AN HOUR!!!
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fuckfuckfuck the vote was set to be Ryan but apparently Willow told Zak something about another plan god im so nervous now
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