#but at the same time i'd love it if everyone realized arceus is actually a terrible deity to anyone who is involved with it
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Mewtwo: secondly- blue is not even a natural color for food stuffs! But it occurs very rarely in nature- name me one blue food...
Adam: blueberries-
Mewtwo: BLUEBERRIES ARE FUCKING PURPLE!!
✨Random Quotes From The Fam✨
Here we go again!
Adam: would you guys help me if i was going through something?
Mary, jokingly: nope!
Mew: no.
Celeste: absolutely not.
*they crack up*
Adam: wow-!
Teen Aliza: i hope it sucks whatever you're going through.
Adam: I HOPE IT SUCKS????
Mary: what the fuck??? XD.
Celeste: i hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
*they're still laughing*
Mew: hope you reach out to me so i can ignore you.
Mary: wHEEZE-
*they just lose their minds in laughter*
Mewtwo: can't wait to go to your funeral knowing i could've changed that outcome.
*they go lmao*
.
Interviewer: does it matter who wins the argument?
Adam: yeah it does, i wanna win!
[music]
Celeste: yeah it matters, but what matters more... Is fairness ^v^
[same music]
Teen Aliza: i don't care... But if you try to win?
[same music again]
MEMORY: it doesn't matter, what matters is: who the fearow are you to start an argument with me?
[same music yet again]
Mewtwo: *he's just crossing his arms and giving the disappointed dad stare, he never loses*
[one last time!]
.
Mewtwo, early days of taking care of Aliza: and now i present... This fucking thing.
Aliza: *happy sounds*
.
[SQUAD REACTIONS TO BEING TOLD "I LOVE YOU"]
Mew: thanks, fam!
MEMORY: oh no.
Crypt: *cries* I love you too-
Mewtwo, trying to keep it inside: sounds fake but okay.
Teen Aliza (Jane told her it): *a flustered mess*
Adam: can i get a refund?
.
Mewtwo: if you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venemous.
Mew: what if it bites me and it dies?!
Mewtwo: then you're poisonous, Arceus poke-god learn to read!
Celeste: what if it bites itself and i die?
Mewtwo: that's voodoo.
Crypt: what if it bites me and someone else dies?
Mewtwo: that's correlation, not causation.
Adam: what if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Teen Aliza: that's kinky.
Mewtwo: oh my god...
.
Adam, who had a horrible day: who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Celeste: >:O language.
Teen Aliza: yeah watch your fuckin' language.
Mewtwo: OKAY WHO TAUGHT ALIZA THE FUCK WORD?
Mew: "the fuck word"
Crypt: are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time!
Teen Aliza: oh my god they censored it.
Adam, now feeling better: say fuck, Crypt.
Teen Aliza: do it, Crypt, say fuck.
.
Adam: *posts a super low quality image*
Mewtwo, wanting to cause something: if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image, i'd have 15 cents.
Adam: if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after i read this, i'd have enough to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Celeste: actually i did the math, mewtwo would have $225, not $0.15.
Mewtwo: darling, i'm right here....
Teen Aliza: if i had a dollar, i would buy a can of soda :)
Adam: while you're there, could you buy me an apply juice please?
Teen Aliza: sorry i only have a dollar.
Adam: :(
Celeste: hey i just realized my boyfriend is right, mewtwo would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.
Teen Aliza: if i had $22,500, i would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.
Celeste: you can buy anything with $22,500
Crypt: yeah, and they want soda and apply juice.
Celeste: APPLY JUICE TO WHAT?
Mew: directly to the forehead~
Mewtwo: great post, everyone.
.
[SOME TIME LATER…]
*THERE ARE BLACK-EYES EVERYWHERE WHAT*
Mary: we need to distract these guys.
Mewtwo: leave it to me...
Mewtwo: CENTAURA HAVE SIX LIMBS AND ARE THEREFORE BUG TYPES, DISCUSS!
*they're all arguing now*
Celeste, still holding a wholeass M4A1: oh this... I don't like this at all.
.
Teen Aliza: dumbest scar stories, go!
Adam: i burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Mew: i dropped a hair dryer on my tail once.
Mary: i have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in first grade.
Celeste: i was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and i got a really bad burn.
Mewtwo: ...
MEMORY: never speak of it- (<- i added that one in)
Mewtwo: i have emotional scars.
.
(and for the grand finale... @experiment1412 !)
Mewtwo: why can i hear somebody in the game?
Mary: i heard that too. Hey, shut the fuck up!
Crypt: that is gross. Take a shower.
Adam: I'm GoNnA tHrOw FrOgS a-
*they all go lmao*
Mewtwo: he said he will "throw frogs"
Mary: i'm glad i didn't get to hear the rest of that sentence.
Adam: i'm tired of all the generic "i'm gonna fuck your mom" jokes and you know, all that shit. I'm tired of it. *Inhale-* what are ya gonna do? I'm gonna throw at frog at a wall!
Mewtwo: where'd you get all the frogs?
Adam: i got a bucket-
Mary: A BUCKET OF FROGS-
Mewtwo: wHEEZE- i can just imagine them walking around with a bucket!
Crypt: have y'all seen his ex's pool?
Adam: y e s .
Mary: *laughs a bit* yeah yeah.
Mewtwo: no, i haven't-
Adam: it is literally frogschwitz.
*everyone starts laughing*
Adam: so many fuckin' frogs in there, bro!
Adam: okay, she has a pool, and the winter liner fuckin' moved, so there's a little hole, and i guess one frog hopped in, and his frog buddies were like "YeAh CoOl FrOg HoUsE", and then THOUSANDS of other frogs had that same idea, and now there's, like 500 liters of frog.
*everyone is chuckling*
Mary: 500 liters?!
Adam: 500 liters of frog, dude. It is all frog!
Adam: her pool is half full, and it's frog corpses!
*laughter*
Adam: the thing is, after like, 10 frogs, how do you even clean that? We don't use a net. We use a flamethrower. We're having frog legs for dinner, boys!
*unhinged laughter continues*
Mary: yay! Frog house!
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Richass for 001, any PLA character of your choice for 002!
when I started shipping it if I did: when Kris sat me down and was like 'y'know richass isn't really all that bad' and she pointed out exactly how it would work and why it would work and i was like 'oh no it's perfect i ship it now too'
my thoughts: I really want to draw more of them and write more about them and like the ship is so good??? Like there's the dash of angst from both their parts, Richard has at least attempted to murder Asbel at least once, and at the same time they're both so hopeful and working towards a better future and being a source of support for one another and their friendship has been something that they believed in even though everything was trying to tear them apart and-- god the ship writes itself honestly
What makes me happy about them: constant support from each other on both their sides, both understanding the other's issues at least post game, both going to the ends of the world for the other, both having such a mutual respect towards one another, them starting out using the other as a crutch but then slowly evolved past that to realize that they can be their own people and drawing strength from their bond in a healthier fashion... and then the constant silliness you can imagine with them what with Richard being Richard and Asbel being dumb as bricks im sorry
What makes me sad about them: That they aren't canon? I guess????
things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don't know hm. Man I read anything richass at this point because this is graces fandom and we are desperate
things I look for in fanfic: I'd love for a fic that emphasizes how unhealthy they were for each other at the start of the game and how they evolved to become better people that can support each other properly towards the end of the game. either that or anything funny with Richard running circles around Asbel RIP. Or Lambda being their surprisingly adopted son i guess???
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Lambda yes i know i ship everyone with Lambda, you asked I'm also partial to Cheribel, Cherichard, and I can live with Richsoph if it comes down to it
My happily ever after for them: That they recover from the stuff they were put through growing up and end up rebuilding Windor and leading the country/world to peace and prosperity and Richard gets to spend his days in Lhant in his husband's embrace while their child rules in peace and harmony?
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Switch depending on who needs the comfort the most :')
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: working through Richard's issues travelling the world in peace and harmony and just enjoying each other's presence away from the burdens of their responsibilities where they can indulge in their love for one another
Answering Volo for 002 so y'know spoilers abound underneath cut
How I feel about this character: I laugh at him because he is essentially Richard Tales of Graces but also I feel like it was really smart of Arceus to publicize him as Cynthia's ancestor and then turn around and make him the big bad doing exactly what Cyrus wanted to do like it definitely would have surprised baby me if I wasn't smarter and suspicious of everything under the sun now
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Eh can I say Cogita? I MEAN I HAVE REALLY NO IDEA HOW OLD SHE IS BUT THEY HAVE A CLOSE BOND, THEY BOTH LOOK LIKE CYNTHIA, SHE HAS A REALLY FUNNY DYNAMIC WITH HIM--
Other than that maybe protag?? LIKE MY DUDE WAS NICE AND SUPPORTIVE AND HELPED PROTAG EVEN IF IT WAS JUST TO FURTHER HIS ENDS BUT COME ON THEY ACTUALLY BONDED RIGHT??? RIGHT????
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Giratina hands down :') Love me some deal and empathy with Pokemon satan to conquer Pokemon god
My unpopular opinion about this character: His final hair cut sucks like WHAT THE HELL MY DUDE YOU HAD SUCH NICE FLOWING LOCKS PLEASE OWN THEM
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Please give us more of your backstory apart from 'I suffered :( so now I want to destroy and remake the world after making a deal with satan' like what were you suffering from my dude and ALSO ARE YOU JUST AS LONG LIVED AS COGITA ARE YOU GOING TO BE AROUND FOR CENTURIES
my OTP: i GUESS COGITA BECAUSE LIKE... IF CYNTHIA'S HIS DESCENDENT I WANT SOME SANITY IN THAT BLOODLINE OK
my cross over ship: CyrusxVolo just for the shits and giggles
a headcanon fact: volo's people were wiped out by invaders so he struggled for years until he was found by Ginter who raised him but was very emotionally distant and the only person Volo attempted to bond with is Cogita because she has a Common Interest even though he's like just using her to further his own ends
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