#but at least rn its the main thing i keep seeing pop up over n over

[homophyte]

okay im going to be vulnerable and admit though ive owned house of leaves for a few months i was spurred to start reading it the other day after watching that video on myhouse.wad . no one make fun of me. that being said.

im not necessarily going though it super in depth and more just trying to unravel some stuff for funsies with some various help from old forums and what strikes me as sometimes glaringly missing from discussions on the book is the way it relates to women. like the fact that the house itself is treated as though it has a female identity will get talked about but theres not rlly discussions about the ramifications of that--how will and holloways posturing--named as explicitly about 'male dominance'--is essentially a fight over who gets to get the girl. wills early venture into the house is literally likened to karen kissing wax, like theyre BOTH infidelities, and thats not nearly the first time karen herself treats the situation like the house is her romantic rival or at least rival for wills attention (im not far enough in to have too solid a grasp on the implications of the name delial--but lets just say i have a suspicion?).

anyway whats maybe even more interesting than that is the way its kinda ALL about gender--its men who keep entering the house desperate to know what its about, its men driven to write about it and uncover its secret knowledge, and it drives them fucking crazy. like...you can read that--VERY EASILY--as men 'discovering' the ""hidden"" interiority of women, like, the very idea that women are complex people with their own ideas and emotions and inner worlds. the fact that the house has a secret inside is huge fucking news and just about every man in the novel reacts to it as such, but the reactions from women are like...not that. idk im not done with it by any means but the similarity between the conversations between karen & wax at the end ch VII and johnny & thumper at the end of VIII really apparent. when thumper is listening to johnny, seeking to understand him, being really invested and interested and not reacting with annoyance or disdain or boredom like he expects, it genuinely really knocks him out to the point he nearly cries--and then he bottles it up, writes it off, even when she echoes karens exact words flirting with wax he doesnt register it.

the text displays a consciousness around gendered expectations here, particularly bc thumper is a sex worker, that she cant be expected to intellectually engage w it, but she can and does...and then johnny doenst know what to DO about it, how to engage w a real moment of understanding between the sexes or whatever so he very consciously falls back on gender expectations for men and refuses to feel that connection, severing the tie he inadvertently built w her and consigning the moment to unknowable blackness. the void is invented by people determined to treat it as foreign--which often means treating it as hostile (holloways gun, johnnys suspicions when thumper didnt call him back).

that she ends with the comment 'you just need to get out of the house' is like...almost laughably on the nose especially w the way chauvanist culture has proliferated on the internet. like in the book too, dont get me wrong, its just so startlingly accurate to whats going on it seems like she really must UNDERSTAND in a way johnny fails to capture in his narration but still comes through due to her being kinda fucking great--sorry i REALLY like thumper in this actually she may be my favorite. its sort of difficult for me to look at the line and divorce it in my head from the phenomenon of the incel--read a certain way, you have johnny ranting and raving about how he just cant ever figure out what the collective 'woman' is thinking and all this time hes spent driving himself crazy about it, and thumper listening and understanding and very sympathetically and honestly saying 'that wouldnt be a big deal if you interacted w women instead of holing up inside trying to theorize about it.'

i dont necessarily think its a mistake that johnny is the kind of person he is, a partying womanizer or whatever, bc sex becomes his only interaction w women (his failure to talk abt the book w kyrie in favor or fucking her) just as entering the house becomes wills only interaction w it (or at least he rages when he cant have that interaction, he values it above others). the book is pretty clear about both of these acting as forms of penetration. as johnny gets more invested in the text he interacts more and more w the women zampano used as interpreters and comes more and more into contact w women and less and less able to deny their interiority.

the reaction from men that women are people is simple and plain disbelief, followed by disconnected, invasive, rigorous study, study that is likened to war, to surgery, to expedition--anything but understanding. its kind of baffling idk maybe im just not looking in the right place to see people talking about it but this sorta feels like...the point. hell even earlier in ch VII on page 91 you get will and holloway excitedly talking about calling the press about their huge discovery that no one will believe...and then just, karen, living her life, treated like an enigma. i literally have this written in my notes as "men discover women have internality; their wives decline to comment"

#myposts #thats not even to mention the uncanny similarities of the whalestoe letters to some stuff in the rest of the book #the intrusion of men the inability of men to understand women as a form of violence. etc #thats not to say i find it particularly groundbreaking a feminist analysis of gender relations or anything? #its more just like...hey where are the mediocre liberal feminists in talking about this this would totally be their thing #idk i very well might be just looking the wrong place #and again im not finished with it. so i could be dead fucking wrong #but at least rn its the main thing i keep seeing pop up over n over

[turnipmage]

ten facts about velimus and adrien?

ok so i didnt know if u wanted ten facts abt both of them or ten each so i went w ten each (actually 12 for adrien bc i love him) (thank u!!!!!!!!)#oc: adrien #oc: velimus

adrien

1. hes still a vanguard and therefore biotic and pretty much 90% of his biotics involve hitting things with force, like his punch, slamming himself into ppl w his dash, his biotic pull is basically playing pingpong w someonr, etc. he has difficulty sustaining constant things like biotic shields or holding someone still midair bc hes just not used to it (+didnt have super official training wooooooooops)

2. is vegetarian (meat only, hes fine with eggs and dairy products (tho hes mildly lactose intolerant))

3. hes chinese + his full name is adrien jiahong zhu

4. the type of guy who will stop what hes doing to help a small bug or worm off the sidewalk. god forbid its something like a large deer thats injured or youll be there forever

5. loves Jokes Jests and Pranks, particularly slapstick humor or stuff like shaking someones hand with a buzzer or putting down a whoopie cushion. is constantly distressed that his prosthetics arent on the left so he can make "im all right now" jokes. at least he has "lemme give you a hand". his turian crewmates are so tired of his shit

6.  still working out his n v's n the others backstories but for rn at least he was an alliance soldier who had to take charge of a squad whether bc he was promoted or bc he old commander died on the mission, long story short everyone except like 1 or 2 ppl died and those few ppl refuse to talk to him and the stress/trauma from the mission exacerbated sooooome issues he has which led to yknow suicidal behaviors like trying to off himself etc until he was discharged. after which he just kinda went into being a freelancer/problem-solver/bodyguard/etc for money. after some fandangling he helps out some turian soldiers and, with his perfectly rational self, decided Sneaking Onto The Turian Warship would be a great idea. somehow they dont kill him, he worms his way into their hearts, etc, everyones happy

7. casually dated a krogan while he was a freelancer, theyre still buddies and keep in touch

8. ive talked abt it b4 briefly but he really likes the 60s california surfer aesthetic. he has a beach boys song as his ringtone, a bunch of vintage pictures he downloaded off the extranet plastered on the walls of his tiny closet bedroom on the ship, wants a vintage woodie car even though wheels seem to be pretty obsolete, and likes to visit the beach when able.

9. he plays the bass and can sing pretty passibly

10. has and will readily complain about minor bumps and scrapes to have an excuse to go visit velimus in the med bay to get around the "no interrupting someones work" rule. velimus goes along with it

11. also the type of guy who doesnt give literally two shits abt respecting orders if someone might get hurt in the process. like to the point where in the middle of battle he picked up and hauled the /captain of his ship/ who can /kick his ass/ off the battlefield bc she would have kept fighting til she keeled over and hes NOT having that

12. can and has eaten turian food and suffered the moderate-to-severely bad allergic reactions REPEATEDLY just to see what it tastes like. has looked velimus (yknow, the Resident Fucking Doctor) in the eyes directly as he popped a whole turian mini doughnut in his mouth.

velimus:

1. became a medic more out of neccessity and feelings of duty than a commitment to protecting life, hes warmed up to the job over the years but still

2. a hopeless romantic but very, very lowkey and guarded about it, even after he gets into a relationship w adrien. like, writes Gay Shit about how pretty n dark adriens eyes are and how soft his skin is but would probably never say it to his face even though adrien would Love it

3. a pretty soothing person to be around, which is good considering his job. nice, low-toned voice, pretty calm and hard to phase when it comes to in the middle of battle. its great

4. sister is antovia, captain of the ship

5. ive drawn him relatively skinny but im gonna practice drawing more heavyset turian body types bc if adrien is a speedy punchy bullet then velimus is a beefy strong professional weightlifter. like adrien still Lifts him regularly but velimus is the true lifter of the relationship and has carried 2-3+ full grown injured turians back to safety at least once probably

6. main weapon is literally a massive cleaver. i still cant decide if its a fancy futureistic light one like the omnitool blade or A Literal Cleaver he carries around. who the fuck uses GUNS when you can carve someone in half with one smooth stroke

7. loves the human dark souls and bloodborne games

8. loves just. space? astronomy? stars and how different they look from planet to planet and just how VAST the universe is? daydreams about being an explorer and discovering new species

9. enjoys sparring in the ring a lot and can get maybe a little too vicious

10. holds grudges like a motherfucker