#but also the subjects were really... ghoulish borderline true crime like the leggings scam vid that was 1/3 botched surgery talk

[starlit-mansion]

i still keep getting recommended posts about the james somerton debacle (unsurprising) and i swear to god, at this point i've spent more time trying to remember what my reaction was to watching his yoi video a while back while half-sleep deprived or smth than i a) spent watching the video and b) spent thinking about any other creator i watched one mid video from and ignored after

#at least i remember specifically deciding that blaire trianglehead was too slow paced and dull to keep listening to after about 3 vids #but also the subjects were really... ghoulish borderline true crime like the leggings scam vid that was 1/3 botched surgery talk #at least in my memory. and her dispassionately talking about it rather than sticking to the subject at hand and having little opinion #put me right off my lunch and i was done #somerton was allll up in my recs just before the bomb dropped and i was half keeping an eye out for a new vid about a subject i cared about #but it was literally all stuff i'm sick to death of. didn't want to hear about evil gays or vampires or if barbie is camp #it was all very... stuff i was already tired of seeing on tumblr and i didn't think i'd get anything new out of #but i was still keeping him in mind because i thought he was a type of person that had little presence in the video essay scene #lol in retrospect #but i do actually try to keep an eye out for creators with different backgrounds. esp black creators. and accept that i might disagree a bi #or find parts of their perspective a little uncomfortable or off-putting. so i probably would have forgiven some of the misogyny tbh #not that it's something that like. idk i should do to punish myself. it's not like there isn't a lot of microaggressions from women #but the fact that it was proven that so many of those were trumped up for show was. honestly a huge betrayal? #people are genuinely cruel to marginalized creators and pretending that it's worse than it is and flopping for sympathy is so galling #it's really easy to be like 'oh i would have never been taken in' just because there was already something keeping me at arms length #but i know that isn't true. i'm a freakin easy mark! you don't even want to know how many podcast/youtube sponsorships i've tried #and also sometimes i find something initially off-putting about a youtuber and later get into them more and find them charming #i genuinely don't think that i have unimpeachable first impressions and sometimes i test them later to see if they still hold