#but also none of those photos exist on my photography page or anywhere attached to my name

[beansnpeets]

It truly is god awful to have a new friend message you and ask how much you charge to shoot an event, like a baby shower, and then have to gently tell her you're not that kind of photographer.

#personal #i hate hate hate when people see that i have never shot an event before ever #aside from sports #and then ask me to shoot a baby shower #do you see a single photo on my page/profile that resembles that type of work?? #just because im a photographer people assume id shoot anything #no! #i have a comfy little niche and i want to stay there thank you #you couldnt pay me enough money to shoot a wedding #i should have just given her an outrageous number to see if she would bite #but i know her and her husband dont make bank so unlikely #tbf i have shot ONE baby shower before but it was my idea and for a close friend at the time #but also none of those photos exist on my photography page or anywhere attached to my name #because it was like 8 or 9 years ago

[troglobite]

dlskfjalsdf

was struck by Thoughts earlier today. or last night. i legitimately don't remember bc the fucking sounds that woke us up and then i had therapy and then ???? the day happened idfk.

anyway i felt compelled to look up some friends i used to have as a kid.

i found some of them

some of them have difficult to find names or i've misremembered their name and mixed it up w someone else i knew or something

but one of them i'm like. Legitimately Worried About. in a way.

she should be just a couple years younger than me, maybe 26 or 27.

the last trace of her on the internet is from her senior year of high school in 2014 in a swimming competition.

there's literally just nothing after that. and her name is specific as fuck.

she just doesn't exist ANYWHERE. she had ONE PAGE of search results.

now normally i'd be like "fuck yeah congrats on being untraceable in this day and age!"

the problem though is--

well

tw for child abuse and abusive households

her parents were violently abusive and horrible, disgusting, reprehensible people.

i found her dad online. he runs a photography business for children. like he takes senior photos and sports photos.

fucking disgusting monster. can't help but beat his OWN children, including at their own birthday party sleepovers in front of their friends, but yeah i'll happily trust him with OTHER peoples' children.

anyway.

so her parents were/are fucking MONSTERS, the kind of people upon whom i wish terrible things so that they might leave their childrens' lives.

i was legitimately prepared to find an obituary for her, tbh.

but there's nothing

there's more about her younger brother, though, who also went into swimming.

so it seems like their parents forbade them from having any social media. and either they have none, or they have none with their names attached.

she is almost 30 and is still hiding from her parents.

the other thing i find kind of disturbing is that there's no reference to his own family or children on his fucking websites. there's ONE picture of his son.

but his youngest daughter is missing, and the one, the oldest, who was my friend is also missing.

nothing past 2014.

and it's disturbing.

and i'm sort of wishing i hadn't looked her up. bc it's fucked up and those two fuckers were the most violent abhorrent people i ever had the displeasure of meeting.

our other mutual friend (we were briefly a group of 3) is studying medicine to become a doctor elsewhere in the country.

other ppl i knew from that time are still in the area and are parents now. they all seem to be doing okay.

but this one friend. it's just kind of unsettling. and wherever she is i hope she's okay and she was able to escape her demonic parents.