#but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the certainty of 2018/22/younger Maria

[itspileofgoodthings]

so many people have said that as you approach your 30’s things start to fall into place but I don’t feel that at all. the closer I get the more it feels that everything is dissolving and falling apart

#it’s not all in a bad way! #I’m hoping Wendell Berry is right and it may in fact be that when we have lost our way our real journey begins #and there is something where in the dissolution of certainty God enters and directs us the way He wants us to go #and reminds us that we’re not strong and independent from Him but children in His hands #but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the certainty of 2018/22/younger Maria #I don’t quite know this new self #except for teaching everything is uncertain and I sort of daren’t pick up the colored pencils of life to do anything with them #I guess that’s what makes me really grateful for teaching #it’s firm and sure contact between me and the outside world #but everything else is just drifting and I am at sea! #anyways I am so sorry for putting personal self-reflection and analysis on your dash on this Easter morning #ewww ugh disgusting blegh I’m sorry #but trying to gain some clarity through words #Happy Easter! thank you for listening!! praying for you all