#brain bush lately so found a lovely song to fit with it

[86maylin]

– by @pointdotiozao

Hey boy‚ you're heading my way Come on over, sway with me Don't you see? We could light up the night You and me, we could be such a sight Whoa boy, spin me around 'Til my feet won't touch the ground Let's get high on tonight, just you and I Forget our cares, let's just share the delight

– Light up the Night, Jamie Berry

#cyberpunk 2077 #anders hellman #MayV #Ship: Complex Diagnosis #*screaming* #brain bush lately so found a lovely song to fit with it #her dress their hands their body close together #ajdsklfsdsd #I'm totally normal about this #thank you so much Renato you're amazing #commissioned art #notmyart #my post

[thechangeling]

Out of our heads Out of our minds

So evil writer brain decided to cook up and incredibly toxic kitty fic because apparently I'm a terrible person lol. Blame @ilikebooks8 for letting this see the light of day.

The title is based on the song Out of this world by Bush.

Cw: slightly nsfw, violence, cheating, incredibly toxic behavior, beloved characters making bad choices, and implied sex.

Kit returns.

He returns to Ty with the same dazzling smile and charming witt, only now he seems to have grown even more impossibly beautiful as time has passed.

Now he's all hard lines and defined muscles and piercing sinful blue eyes that make Ty so angry he could scream.

Kit laughs and Ty wants to tear his insides out. Wants to rip Kit's heart right out if his chest just like he did to Ty. The painful gnawing rage of a betrayal that still stings after all this time. And yet still, Ty heard Kit was in danger and he came running like a man obsessed.

Ty knows deep down now matter how angry he is, he could never let anything happen to Kit. Nothing permanent anyways. Sometimes when the ache becomes to difficult to bare, Ty imagines punching that stupid smirk right off of his face. Or choking him hard enough to leave bruises. Of course Ty would never actually do such a thing. The sight of Kit in pain, any sort of pain is just too unbearable.

And that's the worst part. No matter how angry Ty gets he knows it can't last. And no matter how painful it is to be near Kit again, he still feels this unexplainable pull. This whispering in his ear to get closer and closer. To reach out and touch.

But it's stupid, and it's wrong anyways because Ty already has someone. Anush who was by his side the whole time at the scholomance and has never betrayed him. Anush who is sweet and thoughtful and gorgeous. Ty should be happy. After all, wasn't this what he always wanted? Someone to be there for him?

So he tried to distract himself from Kit by throwing himself into spending time with Anush and working the case. That's all Kit was now, just the latest problem to solve. A supernatural disaster. They would save him and stop the oncoming war and everything would be fine.

And then Kit would be gone. Blind panic teared at Ty's insides at the thought. There were these moments with Kit where they would make eye contact, or they would bump into each other in the kitchen and their fingers would brush and Ty would just desperately want to wrap Kit in his arms again.

He wanted to ask if Kit had really meant what he said that day on the beach. Sometimes when Kit stared at him with that soft sad smile on his face Ty wondered if they were going through similar things. Sometimes Ty wanted to tell him that he wished he had never met Kit either.

Kit Herondale was dangerous and unpredictable and loving him was like holding a live wire. But funnily enough the same could probably be said about Ty. Especially lately.

He felt like he was constantly in pain. Like his body ached with invisible wounds that made it impossible to breathe. The world was brutal and unforgiving, berating him with constant noise and blinding lights jabbing hot pokers into his brain. And the people with their sickly sweet smiles as they demanded he bare his soul.

But what if there was nothing left anymore? What if his soul had died with Livvy? Ty tried to cling onto the things that made him feel better. He hid away in his favorite spot, listening to his favorite music and pouring over Sherlock. Repeating the words to himself over and over again like they could pull him out of this tailspin. Ty distracted himself with Anush's sweet kisses and wandering hands as he tried to turn his brain off for once in his life.

But his soul was screaming out for another person to be the one touching him. He wanted Kit and that was infuriating. It made no logical sense. Not only was Kit responsible for breaking his heart but he also was notorious for playing fast and loose with his own life. Ty couldn't spend all his time constantly feeling like his heart was living outside of his body. Constantly in danger of being ripped open by some dark and evil thing.

Ty had everything he thought he wanted. But it still wasnt enough.

During another sleepless night, Ty found himself wandering the institutes halls. At this point he was simply just overtired. Too many nights spent worrying or studying or reading instead of sleeping. Now his body doesn't remember how to rest. Ty was far too exhausted to operate on logic or reason so he found himself standing outside of Kit's door, wondering absentmindedly how he got there.

Ty placed his hand against the door, fighting the urge to open it and walk through. He can remember the first time he waited outside of Kit's door, just like it was yesterday. He had no idea at the time why he was so drawn to the mysterious boy who had shown up at the institute after Ty had threatened him with a knife. The boy who turned out to be a lost Herondale. And honestly after all of this time Ty still couldn't explain it.

This is a bad idea, He thought to himself as he slowly turned the doorknob. This is a terrible idea. Ty, driven by pure need like fire under his skin, pushed the door open.

Kit was awake as Ty suspected he would be, sitting by the window and staring out into the night sky. Under the moonlight he was glowing. He turned around to stare at Ty, first with a look of shock, and then that same hallow desperation Ty had been seeing on Kit's face lately.

He also looked angry.

"What the hell are you doing in here Ty?" He sounded exhausted. Ty almost felt guilty in a sense. He stared at Kit for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know," he whispered, staring at the ground. "I suppose I was compelled." Ty let his gaze slowly rise up Kit's body, drinking it in.

Kit scoffed harshly. "Compelled? By what exactly, Tiberius?"

Ty looked up at Kit's face in surprise. He rarely called Ty by his full name. Ty really didn't like how it felt. Cold and distant. Ty sighed, pushing his fingertips against his collarbone and tracing it slightly.

"I don't know. I guess I just needed to know. I need to know why you left me." Ty tried not to let himself sound desperate or weak, but he had become worn down by this point. He couldn't keep up his defenses much longer.

"Why didn't you want me?" He muttered. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

And there it was. The painful truth that Ty had been avoiding. The fact that Kit had tossed him aside just like so many had before. Like Paige. Like his father. He had always tried so hard to make people happy. To live up to their expectations. But in the end it didn't matter how hard he tried, sometimes there was just no pleasing certain people.

Sometimes it seemed like there was no point in being good and following the rules if nothing ever changed. If Ty always ended up in the same place. If people always saw him as a problem or an inconvenience or worse, then he could just live up to their expectations. Be selfish and cold and cruel because no amount of begging and smiling was going to earn him respect.

Kit glared at him in shock. "Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here to play mind games with me?" Before Ty could register what was happening, Kit was storming towards him and shoving him up against the wall with a loud thunk.

The feeling of Kit touching him again after all this time was dizzying. Kit was shorter then him so he needed to crane his neck a little to look up at Ty, which meant that his throat was completely exposed for Ty to stare at.

"I told you how I felt and you did nothing! You ignored me!" Kit cried. "I wanted you more then I've ever wanted anything Ty! I still do!" Tears were streaming down his face. Ty stared at Kit, completely frozen. His wrists were pinned to the wall by Kit's hands and their faces were inches apart.

Ty struggled to collect himself. "I didn't know what was going on," he gasped out shakily. "I was a mess Kit. I just had to get her back. But-." He cut himself off. It was all for nothing. Ty had lost Livvy in the end and he had lost Kit as well.

Ty shook his head. "Does this mean that you love me?" His voice sounded so far away. Like the words were being pulled from some unexpected place within him. Kit let out a soft gasp and squeezed his eyes shut before fixing his expression into a blank slate. He leaned forward slightly so that their lips were just barely touching, then gently trailed his mouth across Ty's cheek to his ear.

Ty felt him smirk slightly before Kit whispered in his ear. "Go to sleep Ty. Go back to your boyfriend."

And before Ty had time to think, he was lashing out. He shoved Kit backwards as hard as he could with a snarl. Kit went flying across the room and slammed into the opposite wall. If Kit had been human it probably would have knocked him out. Ty stared in horror at what he had done as Kit clutched his ribs and groaned.

"You seriously have some anger management issues!" Kit snapped at him, glaring pointedly. Ty knew that. When he was younger he used to have fits of uncontrollable rage all the time. Words didnt come easily to him so he would hit, scratch, bite or throw whatever was closest to make people realize he was in pain. When he wanted to say "don't touch me" or "you hurt my feelings" but he just could make the words form properly, he would get angry. And then he would lash out.

Ty thought he had been getting better at managing his emotions and communicating. But there was something about Kit Herondale that just evaporated every last bit of logic and reason he had until all that was left was the urge to scream.

Ty gaped in shock, searching for the right thing to say. "By the angel Kit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that I swear!" He pleaded. His fingers were beginning to shake and flutter at his sides. He tapped desperately against his thigh, scratching at the material of his sweatpants to try and calm himself down.

Kit just shook his head and laughed humourlessly. "Honestly Ty, we should just tell the Seelie Queen not to worry. And Janus, and all the other people who want the first heir dead. You'll destroy me just fine on your own." He gaze was piercing and ruthless.

Ty's breathing was frantic and erratic as he shook in agony. He could feel he was on the urge of a meltdown.

Kit pulled himself to his feet. He stared at Ty longingly and then smiled slightly. A genuine smile. "But honestly what a way to go. Does that answer your question sweetheart?"

Ty gasped soundlessly, his hands shaking at his sides. He fought to get a hold of himself. Kit studied Ty for a moment, then slowly began to approach him.

"Why are you here Ty? Why did you come here exactly?" Kit was speaking in a soft lulling voice as if he was trying to hypnotize Ty.

"I'm here because I miss you," Ty admitted. "It's confusing. Because I'm still mad at you. But I can't stop thinking about you." Ty felt as though he was close to crying, which was concerning because he rarely ever cried.

Only for Kit.

Kit scowled at him slightly. "You're with someone else, remember?"

Guilt instantly pierced through Ty's chest. "Yeah I know, I'm a terrible person," he said bitterly. He didn't want to admit to himself that he had been trying this whole time to distract himself from Kit. That he was using Anush. But that was technically true. Ty saw the opportunity to lose himself in a pretty boy with an honest smile who loved him wholeheartedly.

Ty thought he could forget but then here he was. All roads led to Kit Herondale.

Kit sighed and reached for Ty, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. "You arent terrible. You're spiraling. And you come to me like I can save you from yourself? Please," Kit chuckled. "I can barely save myself."

"I don't need you to save me."

Kit stared at him with an expression that was hard to place. Then he smiled, but it wasnt a kind smile. It was a satisfied, knowing smirk. Kit traced his thumb under Ty's chin then back up to his lips, forcing them to part slightly.

"You think I don't know why you're here love?" He cooed in a voice that was both soothing and alluring. You think I don't know what you're after?" Kit sighed, sounding a little worn down. "If I was a better person, a stronger person. I would tell you to leave." He dipped his hands down underneath Ty's shirt.

Ty shivered at the cold feeling against his skin. He dropped his forhead down to lean against Kit's, revealing in the contact. "Lucky for you," Kit whispered against his lips, "I'm not."

Ty felt the last string of his self control snap as he kissed Kit roughly, grabbing onto his torso and pulling him closer. Kit responded to the kiss eagerly, parting his lips for Ty and laughing deliriously as their lips met again and again.

Kit was tearing off Ty's shirt as he walked him backwards, closer to the bed. As soon as he had slid it off if Ty's body, Kit tossed the shirt aside and went back to kissing him. Ty felt his knees hit the bed frame and he fell backwards onto the soft welcoming mattress, pulling Kit down with him.

Kit kissed a line down Ty's neck to his pulse point and Ty groaned, burying his fingers in Kit's curls. He was lost in a sea of pure desperation.

"Tell me to stop," Kit whispered between kisses. Ty froze for a moment. Then he understood.

Kit was giving him an out.

Ty responded by pulling Kit even closer and letting his head fall back against the pillows.

He closed his eyes and let Kit Herondale ruin him.

The morning after was the hardest. Ty pulled himself from Kit's arms and forced himself not to look back.

And that was when he finally cried.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

WHAT THE HELL FAE! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS OMG 😭

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #twp #tw violence #tw cheating #cw toxic behavior #cw toxic relationship

[miss-pearlescent]

Tag Team (II)

Chapter: I II IIIᴹ IV V VI VII VIII IX Xᴹ

You eyed the island from above, your stomach doing flips as you calculated the distance.

Too high.

You stared at the ceiling of the helicopter as you sat in your husband’s lap, his arm adjusting the straps that attached you to him.

It was a good thing he was talking with Joori, who was flying the helicopter, via headpiece because you weren’t sure if you would be able to make coherent words at this altitude.

Of course the leader of the gang needed to host a private party where guests had to literally drop in through a plane. Of freaking course.

You heard your name in the distance and turned, only to see your husband watching you with a worried gaze.

You gave him a faulty smile that didn’t even convince yourself.

“It’s okay if we go back,” he said.

You shook your head because you knew it wasn’t okay. He was just trying to reassure you. “I’m fine,” you replied through clenched teeth.

You loved that he knew about your fear of heights because he would always volunteer to do the parachuting missions. But you hated him knowing your fear of heights for times like this.

You wanted to look strong but it was hard when you were a million feet off the ground.

You gulped as he shifted forward, bringing the two of you closer to the edge.

It was now or never.

A warm hand cupped your cheek and you turned to look at Jongin. “I have you,” he said. “You are going to kill it tonight, and when we go home tomorrow morning, I’ll…” he trailed off, his gaze falling to your lips.

You licked your lips in anticipation. “You’ll what?”

He gave a slow grin. “I’ll tuck you in for bed.” Jongin flipped the visor of his helmet down, tilted your chin up, and suddenly, you were freefalling.

-

It was a long night of watching rich people flaunt their money and their status. Jongin yawned from his spot behind the bushes, checking his watch for the umpteenth time tonight. The sun was about to rise, and his wife was still in there.

He really married a strong one, he thought as his eyes glazed over watching her by the window. She still looked as good as she did in the beginning of the night, her silky black dress falling over her curves as she walked the room like a pro in her stilettos .The high slit up her thigh still made him salivate like a dog as she trailed behind the leader’s entourage.

Only a few hours left until Jongin would be able to tear that slit and salivate between her legs.

Jongin snorted. She really made him a horny motherfucker, didn’t she?

Just the other day, she had woken him up with a blowjob. Her excuse was that nothing else was working, and they were going to be late for a meeting.

He made them late for the meeting anyway by pinning her to the bed and licking her until she nearly passed out.

He shook his head, knowing he needed to concentrate on his work and stop fantasizing.

But damn, it was hard when his wife bit her cherry-red lip, pretending to be the innocent socialite that he knew she wasn’t.

Jongin’s brain was just starting to trail off again, thinking about his wife’s lips, when a hand clapped over his mouth.

Alarms went off his in head and he reached for his weapons, but something hard came down on the back of his head.

Then all was black.

-

You grasped Joori’s hand in your own. “Please. Please, Joori, I’m begging you.” Your voice was hoarse and your eyes were almost swollen to the point of being shut with how much crying you had done. Top that with the lack of sleep you’d had in the last 36 hours, you were probably starting to become a little delirious. “Please say you’ll come with me, Joori.”

The girl looked at you with wide eyes. Her mouth fell open but it seemed a frog was caught in her throat.

Joori had always been quiet ever since she joined the team two years ago. Her strength was codes and computers, not fighting and action. But at this moment, you needed her.

Mr. Lee cleared his throat. “I can bring in other agents from other branches to aid in the rescue.”

You shook your head. “That would take too long. Joori is my best bet.” She would be invaluable in breaking in the system and mapping out the laboratories where Jongin was being held.

“I-I…” the girl stammered.

Mr. Lee patted your shoulder, urging you to let go of the poor girl. “You need some rest,” he said. “And Joori will make her decision when she is ready. We will make sure we get Jongin out of there.”

You wanted to scream. How could Mr. Lee be so calm? Was Jongin not like a son to him?

Jongin was your husband, and he said he would always be there for you. You had never uttered the words but ever since the day the two of you were partnered up, you knew you would always be there for him too.

You hoped that he was aware of that fact.

You sniffled as you dragged your feet to the door, knowing you needed to sleep, but also unable to turn off your frantic brain.

The bastards had found Jongin waiting in the bushes—something that was so stupid of him to do! You had sent him off with Joori after you had landed on the island. You didn’t realize when he said he had your back, that he would literally be watching your back all night!

So when you arrived back at headquarters and found out that Jongin had never came back with Joori, you were terrified and furious at the same time. Joori managed to track Jongin down to a laboratory in the desert off the highway, except something was off. Her tracker could usually tell if the user was still alive.

According to the tracker, Jongin was neither alive nor dead.

You had gotten what you wanted from the leader—the codes to his labs—but now the man knew both your face and your husband’s. It was dangerous to go back, but you’d do anything for your husband.

You jammed your hand into the door pad to open it.

“I’ll go.”

The sentence was so quiet, you almost missed it.

You turned around, honestly surprised that Joori had walked all the way up to you with her silent steps.

“I’ll go help you save Jongin.”

You pulled the girl into a hug as you let out a huge sob.

-

“Is he in there?” you whispered.

Joori put a finger to her glasses and peered at the door behind the guard. Silently, she nodded.

“Okay, I’m going in.” You were just about to jumped out of your hiding spot when a hand grabbed your wrist.

Big eyes stared up at you with fear. “By yourself?”

It was Joori’s first mission so you understood her fear. Kneeling back down, you patted her hand. “I’ll be okay. I’ve done this a thousand times.”

The younger girl looked around at the towers of boxes surrounding the two of you. “Do I just stay here?”

You didn’t know how safe this place was, but you had an idea. “You have new technology to change your clothes, right?”

She nodded.

“Then change to look like him.” You pointed at the guard standing at the door. “Pretend you’re one of them and change shifts with him.”

You watched Joori go absolutely pale.

“Or not,” you added quickly. You didn’t want the poor girl to faint from fear.

But she took a deep breath and pressed a couple buttons on her watch. The next moment, you were crouching beside what looked like one of the guards.

Joori pushed up the black visor that hid her face. “Do I look like them?”

You nodded in amazement. “That was so cool. You have to fit us with that stuff later.”

“Of course.” Joori smiled back. “I think I’m happy with this prototype so I should be able to get it to you guys soon.”

You patted her on the shoulder in gratitude. “You’re a great asset to our team. I know you can do this, Joori.”

With a new wave of confidence, Joori flipped down her visor and stood, walking around the boxes so she looked like she had come from down the hall as she approached the guard.

The guard only looked confused for a second before he saluted Joori and then walked away.

That was easy.

When the guard was completely out of sight, you stood from your hiding spot. “Great job.”

Joori gave you a thumbs up and then punched the code that she had deciphered during the car ride to the lab. The pin pad sang a little song before the door clicked open.

You gave her a high five. “I’ll be out soon. If you feel threatened in any way, abort the mission. We will be fine.”

Joori nodded as you slid through the door.

---

I googled parachuting and skydiving ONE TIME for this chapter and suddenly all my ads involve parachuting or skydiving :))) Thank you guys for reading!! I know the chapters are short, but I like to drag it out because it feels so long when I write it that I want to savour every morsel that I put out if that makes sense (ahem in other words, it gives me more time before I realize I should start writing/posting another story luuuuuul). You guys are so kind with your likes and messages though T_T THANK YOU THANK YOU.

#exo #kai #exo scenario #kai scenario #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenario #exo fanfiction #kai fanfiction #jongin #tag team

[snipehuntpotatosack]

100 bits of song lyrics (to kill time)

1 Alleluia, Alleluia

2 Graceless lady, you know who I am

3 For a golden girl knows when he kissed her... It’s the kiss of DEATH from Mr.

4 Tail toddle, tail toddle, Tammy gart my tail toddle,

5 Corporal Clegg received his medal in a dream, from his majesty the queen

6. La donna e mobile, quai piuma al viento

7 And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow...O willow, tit willow, tit willow

8 Someone left the cake out in the rain

9 Konichiwa Bitches

10 Underneath that tree, there’s just gonna be you and me

11 Pres des remparts de Seville, chez mon ami Lillas Pastia 

12 By the living God that made you, you’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din

13 Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles

14 Fire eating boys - rising toys of the sun - energy dies without body warm - icicles ruin your gun

15 Spread your blue wings and I’ll shed my blue tears.

16. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the crawl all over your ears and mouth, aah-oooo. aaah-oooo.

17 Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya

18 Where Indian fights are colorful sights and nobody takes a lickin’ - where paleface and redskin both turn chicken

19 So let them begin the Beguine, let it play...

20 Expert texpert choking smokers don’t you think the joker laughs at you

21 you haven’t an arm and you haven’t a leg, you’re an eyeless boneless chickenless egg....and you have to be put with a bowl to beg

22 And yet he’s rollin’ down the mountain goin’ fast, fast, fast

23 Pourquoi ont-ils tue Jaures?

24 Shepherds, why this jubilee?

25 I’m a ramblin’ wreck from Georgia Tech and a heck of an engineer

26 Keep on chooglin’, chooglin’, chooglin’ chooglin’ chooglin’

27 Davy, Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier

28 by pushing down this special key it plays a little melody

29 O I could hide neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings.....the six oclock alarm would never ring....

30 Cee Aich Eye Cee Kay Eee En, that spells Chicken

31 we gonna chant down Babylon one more time. Chant down Babylon one more time

32 Leo said to Cleo, I think I’m goin’ mad…..

33 The Dutchess of Kircaldy always smiling and arriving late for tea

34 Stand off from me, you bloody butchers

35 look down that road far as I can see….gang o’ women, you know followin’ me

36 I got no kick against modern jazz, unless they try to play it too darn fast

37 Mary Margaret Luke and John all them prophets dead and gone

38 Don’t cross the street in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle

39 Oche Chornya, Oche Krasnya,

40 Now she got him on the sofa where he’d gone to take a snooze, and I hope he went to heaven cause he wasn’t wearing shoes

41 Well he never heard the news on the radio, he was deep in the Glade so he’ll never know – his runnin’ and hidin’ didn’t make much sense for the jury had ruled it was self-defense

42 We will kill the old red rooster when she comes, when she comes.

43. You been lyin’, when you shoulda been truthin’

44 Put silver wings….on my son’s chest….make him one…..of America’s best…..

45 I can hear Atlantis full of  cheer……………………

Atlantis Full Of Cheer…………………………………..

46 She’s got Elgin Movements from her head down to her toes….breaks in on a dollar now most anywhere she goes…she’s got E-L-G-I-N M-O-V-E-M-E-N-T-S

47 And softly she came nigh him, and all she said, as there she came, “young man, I think – “

48 I’m beginning to hear voices, and there’s no one around

49 So we all came through the wall; no one uses doors anymore; we’d all love to be that small; you can’t fit, if you’re fat, and that’s all

50 God save King Pendragon,

    May his reign long drag on,

    God save our King.

51 Ciribiribin! Ciribiribin !!

52 We’ll curse the smella citronella, even as we dream

53 You think you’ve flown before, but you ain’t left the grooouuund

54 and you know there’s talk goin’ round town that Papa had three outside children, and                Another Wife………………and That ain’t right….

55 aw lean on me man cause you can’t afford the ticket

56 shebop, shebop awebop, ibop, ubop atheybop, hebop, mebop atheebop

57 The wall was too high as you can see, and the worms ate into his brain.

58 Wendy Michael John Tinkerbell Come On Hurry up and follow me for soon I will be gone

59 See right through me…walk right by me….and never know I’m there….Never….Even…..Knoowwwwww…………………

60 And even though my brain is even smaller than my penius I am the very model of a very stable genius!

61 Agios o Theos, Agios ischyros, Agios athanatos, eleison imas

62 Life is what you do, while you’re waiting to die

63 John Brown’s body lies a moldering in the grave

64 Ah, you don't even know That you're entering your hell As you leave my cemetery And you think you're doing well With that one who's at your side You're as proud as you can be Ah, she's going to make you cry But not the way you cried for me Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

65 I said not a word tho it meant my life I had been in the arms of my best friend’s wife

66 Down in some lonesome valley, hangin’ from a white oak tree

67 Mother Earth will swallow you, lay you in the ground.

68 I’m not a drowning man! And I’m not a burning building!

69 Those alive will meet the prophets

     Those at peace shall see their wake.

70 A bullet had found him / his blood ran as he cried / no money could save him / so he lay down and he died

71 I’m still, I have no life / to wait on boys and men / what’s mine, was yours, is dead / I take my leave of mortal flesh

72 Why dontya be the first one on your block to have your boy come home in a box!

73 That’s the last hour to think anymore – jelly and juice and bubbles, bubbles on the floor

74 Happy Birthday to You

75 They’ll stone you when you’re set down in your grave

76 But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow

77 And they fam, and they fam, back over the dam

78 Tell me Y oh Y did Constantinople get the works?

79 Do you love me? (do you love me) Do You Love Me? (do you love me)

80 a Puzzlement!!!

81 Wherever I have gone, wherever I have gone, the blues run the game

82 So I’ll jug some water bake some flour

     Store some salt and wait the hour

83 It’s a Holy Ghost building, it’s a Holy Ghost building

84 Yankee Doodle came to terms, writing Martin Buber,

     Stuck a Fuhrer in her back and called it Schicklgruber.

85 O Sacred Head surrounded, by crown of Bleeding Thorns

86 It was the Monster Mash (they did the Monster Mash) It was a graveyard smash

87 Dove nested towers, the hour was Strike the street quicksilver moon

88 But that was once upon a time and very long ago

89 I have left my book, I have left my room, for I heard you singing through the gloom

90 Stella splendens in monte ut solis radium miraculis serrato exaudi populum

91 There’s gotta be a song left to sing, cause everybody can’t have thought of everything

92 I will always love you - - hands alike – magnet and iron, the souls

93 Yes I received your letter yesterday, about the time the doorknob broke

94 Well I’m near the end and I just ain’t got the time

     And I’m wasted and I can’t find my way home

95 Sad, deserted shore your fickle friends are leaving

     Ah, but then you know it’s time for them to go

96 She makes the sign of the teaspoon he makes the sign of the wave

     The poor boy changes clothes and puts on aftershave, to compensate for his

     Ordinary shoes

97 Observe his flame that placid dame the moon’s celestial highness

    There’s not a trace upon her face of diffidence or shyness

98 As I lay there with a flower in my hair and my cheeks aflush

    It was a blackberry blossom from the blackberry bush.

99 Oh it’s my heart

    Is that-a-way

   Just as welcome, boys

   As the flowers in May

100 We sleep in the morning

       We dream of a ship that sails away

       A thousand miles away.

   Trad./Jagger/Newley, Bricusse/Trad./Waters/Piave/Gilbert/Webb/Robyn/Dylan/Halevy, Meilhac/Kipling/Von Fallersleben/Slick/Parton/Trad./Trad./Taylor, Lava/ Porter/ Lennon/Trad./Dawson/Brel/Chadwick/Trad./Fogerty/Blackburn/Kraftwerk/Stewart/

John Hurt/Marley/Dylan/Lennon/Trad,/McDowell/Berry/Trad./Mizzy/Milman/Chad Mitchell Trio/Harlan Howard/Trad./Hazlewood/Sadler/Hendrix/Robert Johnson /Trad./

Dylan/Slick/T.H. White/Pestalozza/Hart/Jobim/Strong, Whitfield/Bowie/Lauper/Waters/ Comden & Green/Ebb/Randy Rainbow/Trad./Ebb/Trad./Brel/Wilkin, Dill/Whitter,

Grayson/Young/Byrne/Reid/Lake/Sinfield/Country Joe/Slick/Mildred and Patty Hill/

Dylan/Weatherly/Dowell/Nat, Kennedy/Berry Gordy/Hammerstein/Jackson Franck/

Lane, Marriott/Bill Monroe/Firesign Theater/Baker/Pickett/Wilson, Parks/Adams/Joyce/

Trad./Welch/Mitchell/Dylan/Winwood/Denny/Simon/Gilbert/Maybelle Carter/

John Hurt/Eno

#song lyrics

[thewalkingdeadfanfictions]

T, the Mute, Meets Daryl, the Stupid Redneck Chapter 10 - I Love Daryl?!

****T’s POV****

           “I have seen the rain. I have felt the pain. I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow. I don’t know where I’m going I don’t even know where I’ve been. But I know I’d like to see you again.” Sam sings while we suit up, changing the lyrics of “I Have Seen the Rain” by P!nk to fit. I join in with her singing “Spend our days just searching. Spend our nights in dreams. I’ve stopped looking over my shoulder and I’ve stopped wonderin’ what it means.” At this point all of us are singing “Drop out, burn out, soldier ho-oh they’ve said we should’ve been more. Probably so if we hadn’t of been in this crazy damn Afghanistan war.” There’s a knock at the locker room door followed by Yori yelling “You girls need a new song!” “Well at least we don’t need a new brain like you Yori!” Sam yells back, she likes him but he’s too dense to see it, I was too but she told me about it and asked if we were just dense when it came to “love”. Suddenly I’m not in the locker room anymore but in a clearing aiming my bow at the trees. Daryl comes out of the trees and starts yelling “Son of a bitch. That’s my deer! Look at it. All gnawed on by this…” as he walks over to the walker and starts to kick it adding “Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless proxy bastard!” I look around and notice that I’m back at the first morning of camp as Dale says “Calm down, son. That’s not helping.” Daryl then says while striding towards him “What do you know about it, old man? Why don’t you take that stupid hat and go back to On Golden Pond?” he turns away and starts to pull out his arrows from the deer adding “I’ve been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?” I turn and start walking away realizing that I’ve been staring at Daryl as Shane says “I would not risk that.” Daryl then sighs and says “That’s a damn shame. I got some squirrel, about a dozen or so. That’ll have to do.” But then I hear the walker opens its mouth so I quickly spin around and shoot it in the head at the same time as Daryl does as he asks "Come on, people. What the hell? It’s gotta be the brain. Don’t y’all know nothing?” Without noticing I did so he goes to get his arrow but pauses seeing mine as well. Glenn then looks at me and cheers “T one, walker head zero! T the one stop shop of awesomeness has done it again! If he can’t do it no one can!” I glare at him as the others shake their heads at him. As I walk forward to get my arrow back Daryl pulls his and my arrow from the head, wipes them on the ground, and holds mine out to me. I nod as I take it from him and he asks me quietly “Do you even know what you do to me?” I look at him shocked and shake my head as I hear Sam in the back of my head saying “T I can’t believe you’re still so dense. You love him and he loves you.”

I bolt up and shake my head not believing what I heard Sam tell me. ‘She’s in Europe right now. There’s no way she could know. Besides Daryl would never like someone like me, like that.’ I think before allowing myself to wonder if she and her family were still alive. I look around and notice almost everyone is awake so I stay on top of the R.V. waiting for Rick to organize the search. When the others start coming over to Carol’s Jeep I hop down not bothering with the ladder only to be yelled at by Rick who says “There’s a ladder for a reason.” I ignore him and stand next to Daryl and also ignoring the little voice in the back of my head screaming ‘You love Daryl!’ “All right, everyone’s getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the cabin Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we’ve been so far.” “Cabin?” I write as Beth’s boyfriend says “I’d like to help. I know the area pretty well and stuff.” “Hershel’s okay with this?” Rick asks Jimmy ignoring me so I give up thinking ‘Karma, you are not my friend today.’ “Yeah, yeah. He said I should ask you.” The boy says obviously lying. “All right then. Thanks.” Rick says believing him, but Shane says “Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me. Anyone could have been holed up in that cabin.” “Anybody includes her, right?” Andrea asks. “There was drawings signed by ‘Sophia’ in there.” Daryl says, as I look at Andrea questionably as she keeps giving me a weird look. “It’s a good lead.” Andrea says so Rick says “Maybe we’ll pick up her trail again.” “No maybe about it. I’m gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird’s-eye view of the whole grid. If she’s up there, I’ll spot her.” Daryl says as Dale puts the bag of guns on the car. “Good idea. Maybe you’ll see your chupacabra up there, too.” T-Dog says. “Chupacabra?” Rick asks as I tilt my head in question as well now looking at Dale, making a mental note to ask Andrea why she looked at me the way she did. “You never heard this? Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra.” Dale says causing Jimmy to laugh. “What are you braying at, jackass?” Daryl asks him. “So you believe in a blood-sucking dog?” Jimmy asks so Daryl counters with “Do you believe dead people walking around?” so I clap silently, approving of the burn. Jimmy then reaches for one of the guns but Rick stops him asking “Hey, hey. Ever fire one before?” “Well, if I’m going out, I want one.” Jimmy says so Daryl says “Yeah, and people in hell want Slurpees.” Before walking away, giving me a quick glance but quickly looking away and continue walking away when I tilt my head at him.

           I shrug and Jimmy starts to go so Shane says “Why don’t you come train tomorrow. If you’re serious, I’m a certified instructor.” “For now he can come with us.” Andrea says so Shane says “He’s yours to babysit then.” Motioning for Jimmy to come back. “T you’re going with Dale and Jimmy here.” Rick tells me then adds “Shane and I will be here and Andrea, T-Dog you’re here.” They start to get their weapons before we get our “flags” to mark the trees and head out. I opt for just having my knife preferring to be quiet and to be able to move without worrying about my bow getting caught on something.

****Yori’s POV****

           I woke up before Sophia so I get out of the van and lean against it watching the road. A few trucks were approaching so I made sure Sophia was hidden before pretending to look inside the cars. One of the trucks stopped while the others continued on. A guy who give off a bad aura gets out asking “Hey, man you alone?” “Yes. I like it that way.” I reply continuing my pretend search praying that Sophia doesn’t wake up right now. “You sure? We could use a man like you.” He says stepping closer trying to be friendly but failing. “I’m sure, besides I only got one leg.” I say looking at him hiding my emotions. His face turns to that of disgust and says “Just start with that next time.” before getting back in the truck and driving away. “Well that went better than I expected.” I say to myself shrugging before Sophia wakes up. “Yori?!” she calls scared. “Here, outside. Come on, if we want to make it to the farm by dark we have to leave now.” I tell her. She gets out of the van so I walk over and bend down so she can climb on my back again. She does so I start walking towards the farm.

****Daryl’s POV****

           I’m hunting squirrels as I look for Sophia. I see something in the creek so I stop the horse. I get off and tie it to a tree before I slowly my way down the hill to the creek. Getting closer to the thing I notice that it’s Sophia’s doll so I look around calling for her. After a minute or so I climb back up the hill and get back on the horse. Walking a few steps the horse gets scared by birds flying by so I say “Whoa. Easy, easy.” When it calms down I have it start walking again. It goes only a few more steps before a snake jumps out at it scaring it and causing it to buck me off. I roll down a ridge as it runs off. When I reach the bottom, and in the shallow water, I say “Son of a bitch.” Noticing that I’ve been impaled by one of my arrows. I slowly make my way to one of the dry spots and use my knife to rip off one of my sleeves but just rip off the other with my hands. I tie them together then wrap them around my chest to keep the arrow in place. I secure the tourniquet, put my knife back, and look to see that I’ve fallen into a valley. Bushes rustle so I reach for my crossbow but realize it’s not there. I grab a stick and start searching the water for it with it. I finally find it and start making my way up the ridge. I get half way up the ridge and throw away the stick and tell myself “Oh, come on. You’ve done half. Stop being such a pussy.” So I go and grab a rock but it falls and thus causing me to fall and get knocked out when I hit the bottom.

****T’s POV****

           I’ve had this bad feeling for a few minutes now as I follow Dale and Jimmy. But I ignore it as I split off from them when they start heading back as we had the smallest grid. They don’t notice that I split off from them so I look for some tracks. I find horse tracks but no people tracks walker or otherwise. I remember that Daryl took one of the horses from the farm so they must be from that as they are fresh. I shake my head as I suddenly feel happy thinking about Daryl, successfully shaking the happy feeling away. “T, there you are. Dale was worried about you.” Shane says from behind me making me jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He says putting a hand on my shoulder before adding “Come on back to camp, it’s getting late.” His hand makes my skin crawl so I step away from him nodding but looking in the direction Daryl went, thinking ‘T stop…He’ll be fine.’ with that bad feeling rising again. I turn and start walking back to camp without waiting for Shane as I try to ignore the feeling, again.

****Daryl’s POV****

           Waking up a little I see Merle. “Why don’t you pull that arrow out, dummy? You could bind your wound better.” He tells me so I say “Merle.” “What’s going on here? You taking a siesta or something?” He asks so I say “A shitty day, bro.” “Like me to get your pillow? Maybe rub your feet?” He asks so I say “Screw you.” “Huh-uh. You’re the one screwed from the looks of it. All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get? Look at you. Lying in the dirt like a used rubber. You’re gonna die out here, little brother. And for what?” He says so I say “A girl. They lost a little girl.” “So you got a thing for little girls now?” He asks so I tell him “Shut up.” But he says “’Cause I notice you ain’t out looking for old Merle no more.” “Tried like hell to find you, bro.” I say but he says “Like hell you did. You split, man. Lit out first chance you got.” “You lit out. All you had to do was wait. We went back for you. Rick, T, and I, we did right by you.” I say. “This the same Rick that cuffed me to the rooftop in the first place? Forced me to cut off my own hand? This him we’re talking about here? You his bitch now?” He asks so I say “I ain’t nobody’s bitch.” “You’re a joke is what you are, playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers, and democrats.” He says chuckling then adds “You’re nothing but a freak to them. Redneck trash. That’s all you are. They’re laughing at you behind your back. You know that, don’t you? I got a little news for you, son. One of these days, they’re gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit. Hey. They ain’t your kin, your blood. Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you’d go back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me. Now you listen to me. Ain’t nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother. Ain’t nobody ever will, especially that mute girl. Come on, get up on your feet before I have to kick your teeth in.” Standing up he starts kicking my foot adding “Come on.” shaking me. I wake up more and hear growling I look down and see a walker trying to bite through my boot. I kick its head and reach for my crossbow but it recovers quickly and climbs on top of me so hold it back and punch it twice knocking it over, but it takes me with it so I roll and throw it off. I grab a branch and stand up as it stands up and another starts coming towards me. I take out the closer ones legs, jump on top of it, and start beating its face in with the branch before stabbing it in the head killing it. The other one is coming closer so I rip the arrow out of my side and quickly strain to ready my crossbow. I get it just as it gets to me so I quickly aim and fire hitting it in the head. It falls next to me and I sigh in relief and start panting before passing out again.

Waking up again I sit up and look at the two dead walkers. I then take off my shirt and fold it up and press it on my wound before securing it there with the torn off sleeves. “Son of a bitch was right.” I say picking up my crossbow before getting up and start to skin a squirrel. I eat it before going over to the doll, pick it up, and tuck it under my belt. Then I take the shoelaces off the walkers, cut off their ears, and make a necklace with them. I pause and put T's dog tags in my pocket before putting it on and start climbing the ridge again. I’m almost to the top when birds screech above so I look at them as they circle me. “Please, don’t feed the birds.” Merle says on top of the ridge so I look at him and he starts laughing adding “What’s the matter, Darylina? That all you got in you? Throw away that purse and climb.” “I liked it better when you was missing.” I tell him. Laughing he says “Come on, don’t be like that. I’m on your side.” “Yeah? Since when?” I ask. “Hell, since the day you were born, baby brother. Somebody had to look after your worthless ass.” He says. “You never took care of me. You talk a big game, but you was never there. Hell, you ain’t here now. Some things never change.” I say as I try to find a way to make it the rest of the way up. “Well, I’ll tell you what-I’m as real as your chupacabra.” He says. “I know what I saw.” I say before he asks “And I’m sure them shrooms you ate had nothing to do with it, right? You know what, I think that little mute girl-” “You best shut the hell up!” I yell at him cutting him off, so he says “Or what? You’re gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me? Well, come on and do it them, if you think you’re man enough.” Laughing he adds “Hey, kick off them damn high heels and climb, son.” I start climbing again as he says “If I were you, I’d take a pause for the cause, brother. ‘Cause I just don’t think you’re gonna make it to the top. Come on. Come on, little brother. Grab your friend Rick’s hand.” I make it to the top and pull myself up panting and looking around but Merle is nowhere. So I say “Yeah, you’d better run.” Before making my way back to camp and back to T.

****T’s POV****

           I’m sitting in the R.V. with Glenn, drawing Sam hoping that she was okay. “What’s with the Annie Oakley routine?” Dale asks Andrea outside the R.V. as she went up there when he left. “I don’t want to wash clothes anymore, Dale. I want to help keep the camp safe. Is that all right with you?” she says so Glenn says “And I want to be able to understand women.” I look at him questioning but he adds “You I get, the others not so much.” I shrug as Dale comes in. Glenn looks at him and says “Sorry. Just returning your book.” Pointing to the book in his hands. “Oh, no, I’m sorry.” Dale says picking up the book and tosses it on the table adding “If I had known the world was ending, I’d have brought better books.” Before walking into the back of the R.V. Glenn then gets up and asks quietly “Dale, you think Andrea’s on her period?” Dale holds up a hand but Glenn adds “I’m only asking ‘cause it’s like all the women are acting really weird. And I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.” Dale holds his hand up again and says “I’m gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.” Before looking at me so I shrug not caring. “Yeah.” Glenn says so Dale asks “Who else is acting weird?” Glenn sits back down and thinks for a minute before saying “Maggie.” “Ah, Maggie.” Dale says knowingly so Glenn starts explaining “She started off being mean to me. Then she wanted to have sex with me. And now she’s being mean to me again. And I don’t even want to know what’s going on with Lori.” “What’s going on with Lori?” Dale asks so Glenn looks at me, I shrug so he says “Nothing. I don’t know.” “All right, let’s take this back a step. How do you know that Maggie wanted to have sex with you?” Dale asks. Glenn just looks at him smiling so Dale says “Oh, son, you didn’t.” Glenn chuckles so Dale adds “Did it ever occur to you how her father might feel about this?” “She’s 22.” Glenn states so Dale says “And he is our host.”  “He doesn’t know.” Glenn says then so Dale says “Well, see that it stays that way. Jesus, Glenn what were you thinking?” “I was thinking that I might be dead tomorrow.” Glenn says sadly before getting up and adding “Thanks for the book. You’re right, it sucks.” Walking out of the R.V. “Walker. Walker!” Andrea then yells from on top of the R.V. so I rush out past Dale as Rick comes up asking “Just the one?” She looks through the binoculars and says “I bet I can nail it from here.” “No, no, Andrea. Put the gun down.”  Rick says as the guys get their weapons and I start walking towards the walker. “You’d best let us handle this.” Shane says so Rick says “Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers.” “What for, man? We got it covered.” Shane says catching up to me. I speed up to get away from him as Rick catches up and does the same. I falter as I see who the walker was. Rick points his gun at him as Glenn asks “Is that Daryl?” “That’s the third time you’ve pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?” Daryl says so I start to walk towards him to help him as Rick lowers his gun. Then it happens, almost in slow motion, gunshot, my heart stops as Daryl falls, and I can’t stop myself from screaming “Daryl!” as I run to him.

****Rick’s POV****

           When we get to the walker I point my gun at it as Glenn asks “Is that Daryl?” “That’s the third time you’ve pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?” Daryl says so I lower my gun and T starts walking towards him concern showing slightly on her face. Andrea shoots and T screams his name as she runs to him. She puts pressure on him wound as her face actually showing emotions from affection to fear. Shane and I take him from her as he says “I was kidding.” Before passing out. Andrea and Dale are running towards us as we start heading back. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God, is he dead?” Andrea asks as T silently follows us, obviously fighting with her feelings. “Unconscious. You just grazed him.” I answer Andrea before Glenn says “But look at him. What the hell happened? He’s wearing ears.” I rip them off and say “Let’s keep that to ourselves.” As I hide them. “Guys, isn’t this Sophia’s?” T-dog asks so we pause and look at him.

****Time skip****

           As Hershel stitched Daryl up Shane asks “Where’d you get the doll?” sitting in a chair in the room as I sit by the bed with the map. “I found it washed up on the creek bed right there. She must have dropped it crossing there somewhere.” He says pointing to the area before holding the rag to his head again. I look at Shane and say “Cuts the grid almost in half.” “Yeah, you’re welcome.” Daryl says. “How’s he looking?” I ask Hershel. “I had no idea we’d be going through the antibiotics so quickly. Any idea what happened to my horse?” Hershel says finishing up and washing his hands in the bowl of water. “Yeah, the one who almost killed me? If it’s smart, it left the country.” Daryl says. “We call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly. I could have told you she’d throw you if you’d bothered to ask. It’s a wonder you people have survived this long.” Hershel says walking towards me before he adds “Go now. He needs to rest a bit.” Shane and I nod and leave the room.

****Daryl’s POV****

           Shane and Rick leaves so Hershel turns to me and says “It’s not my place to say this-“ “Then why are you?” I ask angry cutting him off, my heart aching as I keep hearing T scream my name. He glares at me and asks “Do you still hear her scream for you?” I look at him shocked so he says “T, she’s a strong girl but right now she’s not. She was slapped in the face with her feelings for you the moment Andrea shot you.” “What you getting at?” I ask angry again. “Daryl, you got past her walls without her even knowing. Just like she did with you. Don’t deny it, I’ve seen how you look at her. Now…you need to tell her how you feel.” He says sternly before leaving. I debate for a while trying to figure out how to tell T I love her.

****T’s POV****

           I was walking in the woods after Rick told me Daryl would be fine, needing to be alone. ‘Sam, if you can hear me somehow, I just want you to know that you were right. I’m dense when it comes to love. It took him almost dying for me to accept the fact that I loved him. Though you’re still wrong when it comes to him liking me.’ I tell her in my head hoping she could hear me. A branch breaks behind me so I quickly turn around my hand ready to grab my knife. Rick comes out and says “There you are. Dinners about done, Carol asked me to find you.” I nod and follow him back.

           Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Jimmy, and I all have to sit at the “kids” table. We’re all eating when Glenn suddenly asks “Does anybody know how to play guitar?” I sigh but he ignores me as he adds “Dale found a cool one. Somebody’s got to know how to play” Everyone is silent till Patricia says “Otis did.” “Yes, and he was very good, too.” Hershel tells her before everyone starts eating again. I get up and go look for it then no one noticing that I left. As I’m looking I see something coming down the drive. I walk closer and they stop and put something down. The something is a child that runs to me limping and crying. “Sophia.” I say breathless as she runs into me hugging me. “Glad I get a welcome back too.” Yori says faking hurt as he comes closer. “Yori?” I ask not believing it. He nods as he smirks saying “You didn’t think I was dead now did you? You should know by now that I’m awesome!” I shake my head at him as I hug him. Suddenly Yori asks “Who’s this Daryl Sophia keeps telling me about?” Sophia laughs as I look at him in shock. “Well, come on girls and point him out to me.” He says before grabbing mine and Sophia’s hand dragging us to the house. Sophia keeps laughing as I dig my feet in the ground which only caused Yori to pull me forward and pick me up before holding me under his arm. I curse myself for being so light as he keeps walking without hindrance.

****Daryl’s POV****

           The door opens so I look and see that it was Carol so I pull the blanket up as she asks “How are you feeling?” before setting the tray on the bedside table. “As good as I look.” I tell her so she says “I brought you some dinner. You must be starving.” I turn a little to look at her then at it and she leans in and kisses me on the head. I look at her before saying “Watch out. I got stitches.” She pauses before saying “You need to know something.” I look at her so she adds “You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life.” “I didn’t do anything Rick, T, or Shane wouldn’t have done.” I say so she says “I know. You’re every bit as good as them. Every bit.” Before leaving.

           A few minutes go by before a door slams open and a guy yells “Is this yours?” “Sophia!” Carol yells as Sophia yells “Mom!” I get out of bed and slowly make my way to the stairs. When I get there everyone is hugging Sophia and thanking the guy who has T tucked under his arm just hanging there. She’s not struggling so I look closer at the guy and see the resemblance between the two while remembering the drawing she made of him. He’s looking around at everyone and suddenly looks up at me. He studies me a bit before smirking and putting T down he says “Name’s Yori and I’m related to that thing.” pointing at T who smacks him like she does Glenn. I then turn and go back to the room. A few minutes go by and the noise dies down. Then the door to the room opens as Yori says “You must be Daryl.” “What do you want?” I ask him annoyed as he shuts the door walking into the room. His face changes from friendly to threatening as he asks “Do you love my sister?” I don’t say anything and look at him daring him to try something. “Look, I just don’t want her to get hurt.” He says friendly again. “Neither do I.” I counter so he accuses “She’s not some toy you can just throw away when it gets boring or when it is broken.” “I know that!” I yell angry causing him to say “You don’t.” I go to say something but he holds up a hand and adds “I know she hasn’t told you so I’m going to. When she was ten and I was already in the army our parents were murdered in front of her. The people responsible then took her and sold her into sex slavery. She was there for two years before she managed to escape. She was half dead when she walked into the E.R. and was in the hospital for a year. She then trained and joined the military when she was eighteen. We were in Special Forces for a year before I lost my leg and she decided that others came before her. A year goes by before she ends up getting captured. She sliced her own throat to prevent them from using her to get to the others. She can’t forget anything she hears, feels, or sees and she can copy it exactly, it’s what saved her this whole time.” I look at him shocked so he accuses “Do you still love her?” “I do.” I tell him immediately. He looks at me relieved before saying “Then do me a favor, don’t get killed and tell her you do.” He walks to the door and adds “Also just remember I don’t have any qualms about killing others. Especially those who hurt my little sister.” smiling at me before leaving.

#fanfic #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl x oc #original character

[foxhenki-blog]

Disintegration

It’s Walpurgistnacht again, I made it.

Every year my other self’s employer sends our shared mortal coil out to San Fransisco for a conference on Knowledge Management. Yes, him, the other, the non-magic-y fellow, he professionally manages gnosis. A Gnosis Manager employed by the demiurge. As the phrase goes, you do what you got to do to survive. I’m going to try and live blog the trip as it happens, to stay connected to all of you dear readers, just to stay sane.

The flight was uneventful, I consumed Occulture’s latest with Jason Miller and re-consumed Original Gangster Gordon White’s Open Systems Spirit Work Solo Show from the close of last year on the plane. I’ve listened to that damn episode a number of times already, but this time, idk what it was, but it stuck, the concepts gelled, I got it. Maybe it was the cold brew coffee with the 2:45 AM wake up call chased with lonely tab of piracetam I’ve been saving - I don’t care, whatever happened it worked and I think I have a good idea of the way I am supposed to be taking a 2018 practice.

I came here last year, and was much less relaxed. I stopped to visit the Mission Dolores and wrote about it in a fumbling way here. I’m back, because I promised not to forget the dead there, but, I don’t know, this city, it bothers me for some reason on a magic-y spidey-sense and manifestation of the empirical agenda kind of way.

But I’m here, in the Mission District, I stopped at Four Barrel Coffee, which if it weren’t for Google Maps I wouldn’t have found because of course it doesn’t have a street facing sign, just well patina’ed wood and mustachioed gentlemen gazing balefully out of the window.

Back to the weirdness while I charge up my government approved tracking device. On Original Gordon’s advice (given freely in the Premium Member Q+A’s), I journeyed on this trip because I didn’t know where to take it. I magic’ed the hell out of it last time, some of my experience was peaceful and some of it was freaking terrifying (like the spontaneous slam a Lucifer Square in the mouth of a lion guardian at China Town’s Dragon Gate after invoking the Lord of the Crossroads part of it… Whatevs, I was trying for invincibility). My journeying has continued off and on all week, including on the plane. The cemetery really didn’t come up. Nor did the original Mission, where I tried to jailbreak a Cyprian treasure spell to fulfill the very first bit of advice (the very first question I asked over at Rune Soup) in an attempt to un-f*ck a longstanding carjacking of my financial situation brought about (I’m 99% certain) by another jailbroken, very ill-timed and half-finished treasure spell I attempted back in my twenties. I expected both of those to be prominent in the journeying, to really jump out, along with the Dragon Gate, but it didn’t happen.

What I did get was a very ‘A Dark Song’ (that movie f’ed me up Mr. Ghostly Harmless) vision of four gigantic angels standing guard at the corners of the primary Mission Dolores and an image of me collecting holy water. This linked up with a dram I had where I was in another church, pouring over sheets of unreadable dream lettered sheet music, listening to posh elites talk about nose jobs…

So that’s my first destination… to grab some holy water. I was shown that I am to anoint my new Seven Sorrows rosary, so I imagine I’ll be petitioning the Queen of Heaven to return my texts again, before moving on.

The Mission District seems much smaller this time around, and I don’t need my phone to get around. I walked up to take a peak at the San Fransisco Mint, stopped in the obligatory Whole Foods, and then made my way down to the Mission passing what I think was a gigantic Datura bush on the way. There was a fellow in front of his house, blithely watering a lovely urban garden, every inch of his skin (including his head and neck) covered in tattoos.

Arriving on the corner, the Mission rising above me into the cloudless sky, those Dark Song angel-giants popped into my head again, but this time, they were conflated with the bell tower, in fact, all bell towers. The idea was really ludicrous, at least it felt that way, but I was overwhelmed with the thought that all churches everywhere, those that had steeples anyway, were actually flanked by angelic soldier that stood as tall as their own towers. This tower fetish I’ve developed as a result of reading through Lovecraft’s work is getting a bit out of hand, but maybe that’s the point. The Tower in the tarot has always been so inscrutable and seemingly out-of-place, but now, after so many instances of towers in Lovecraft’s work and the connections I’ve made, this most odd of archetypes is beginning to congeal into something much deeper.

Angelic magic has been in the air a lot lately as well and really, doesn’t its weirdness, its un-humaness, really fit the Lovecraftian Magical Aesthetic well? Cosmic beings that live among humans but are in many ways not aligned with the human agenda, whose ways are unpredictable and chaotic…

I fulfilled the task set about for me during my journeying, anointing the rosary and praying the Seven Sorrows in the basilica. The ritual was the same as my last largely unimpressive attempt until I reached the sixth sorrow, when that familiar magic body buzz was kindled. With the seventh sorrow it came back, like psylocibin waves, and by the time I completed the prayer, I had fully altered consciousness. Deep gratitude to the organ and cello player practicing in the front of the church, you gave me a nice free jazz soundtrack for the act.

Even though my journeying did not indicate a need to return to the cemetery, I did. The first time, last year, it was cold, no contact. This year, after making the promise to return and fulfilling it, it genuinely felt like a warm hug, an instant calm filled with intrigue and a sense of mystery, not entirely unlike the film scene in our first imbrication.

IMBRICATIONS

I’ve got this thing for walking in the footsteps of Jimmy Stewart. To me, well, he’s not really an icon, but, I don’t know, a fixture in my psyche is probably a better word. I have a sister who is from Marquette, MI and when she was getting married up in Big Bay, above Marquette, the thing I was most excited about was that was where Anatomy of a Murder was filmed. I got to stay in Inn where the bar scenes were shot. I ate in the bar, right next to where the actual murder took place. I got real stalker-y and drove slow through the trailer park where the murderer (real and filmic) stayed. I was really into it. That said, I’m not a film geek, so I wasn’t aware that I had stumbled on another set of Mr. Stewart’s footsteps, until I saw the plaque above the Alfred Hitchcock bobble heads in the Cemetery gift shop (so much wrong with that sentence). A key scene in Vertigo was filmed in the cemetery I had just spent time in, communing with the oldest and only known dead in the city of San Fransisco. Replace me with Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak with various invisible spirit forms and my visit looked exactly like the scene below:

  Obviously, a lot has gone down in the city of San Fransisco, musically, culturally, etc. If you’re not a metalhead, however, you might not be aware that (the bizarrely now nearly mainstream band) Slayer got their start in the Bay Area. The below video from the National Museum of American History (see what I’m saying about bizarre, well deserved, but bizarre) gives a really nice high level overview of the makers and influencers of so much music that made me the person I am today. Hint, they ain’t the Grateful Dead:

  And lest you think to count them out, here they are again, in full force. I have deep memories attached to this song. The best of which is walking in the Lena, IL cemetery, with my dual cassette boom box, playing this song off of my treasured (it was hard to get music in the sticks in the eighties) Reign in Blood tape:

  DOWN ON FASCINATION STREET

Our Lovecraft tale this week is a quick one by the name of Cool Air. It offers whiffs of Lovecraft’s experience in New York city, citing a four story brownstone on West Fourteenth Street as the local. The nameless narrator, our protagonist, is poor and hopping from rooming house to rooming house. Very likely a reality for HPL at some point. The very first lines set the scene for us:

“It is a mistake to fancy that horror is associated inextricably with darkness, silence, and solitude. I found it in the glare of the mid-afternoon, in the clangour of the metropolis, and in the teeming midst of a shabby and commonplace rooming house...”

Cool Air, more than most, gives our Lovecraftian Magic a place in the urban environment. Our protagonist, after some exposition, meets our archetype, one Doctor Muñoz, who is described as such:

“Exquisitely proportioned... clad in somewhat formal dress of perfect cut and fit... short iron-gray full beard and an old-fashioned pince-nez… full dark eyes... aquiline nose… He was the bitterest of sworn enemies to death, and had sunk his fortune and lost all his friends in a lifetime of bizarre experience that devoted to its bafflement and extirpation.”

This sentiment is very similar to that one feature in Whisperer in Darkness where the brains in jars are looked on as the ultimate evolution of human. Lovecraft is not a celebrator of death, but rather, his tales are an incantation to bing about longevity and the elevation of class. And maybe, when you think on it, most classical steampunk has this at its core as well. The anime, Steamboy, for example, has at its core a young poor man who is in possession of a great advancement in the science of the genre. He is seeking to use it for good, but in effect is about the business of raising his station. It is a magical aesthetic that incorporates and, in the case of Cool Air, depends on machines to keep the magic operant. This might seem unthinkable to many magicians, as the eschewing of technology and the urban environment is rampant among the neo-pagan and even the modern ceremonial magician. The Lovecraftian Magical Aesthetic looks past these false constraints into a world where technology and necromancy are complimentary, if not inseparable. The drama reaches a height when these machines begin to break down:

"One night [in the middle of October] about eleven the pump of the refrigerating machine broke down... The moribund hermit’s rage and fear, swelling to grotesque proportions, seemed likely to shatter what remained of his failing physique...”

While not our tarot card for the tale, Cool Air is certainly connected to the Hermit archetype in certain ways, but an urban hermit, a slightly different animal.  Viewing this from the 21st c. this is a very solid connection to the internet culture, seeking digital immortality, living next to each other, yet avoiding their neighbors, the being alone in a crowd. Moreover, the narrator offers this nugget:

“There is... an infinite deal of pathos in the state of an eminent person who has come down in the world.”

Which shows more musings on class and station and the inevitable loss of that station. As the machine around Doctor Muñoz begin to fail, the magical reality of his existence (or psuedo-existence) begins to take over:

“A kind of growing horror, of outre and morbid cast, seemed to possess him. He talked of death incessantly, but laughed hollowly when such things as burial or funeral arrangements were gently suggested.”

Leaving us with a curious phrase, death without burial, a keeping of the dead among the living. We see this aesthetic growing with the activities of the Death Positive movement. Doctor Muñoz could be seen as their champion:

“He seemed about to hurl defiance at the death-daemon even as that ancient enemy seized him.”

Our tarot match for Cool Air is the Eight of Coins.

  Our now familiar Etteilla deck offers us two key phrases. Fille Brune for the upright position and Usure for the reversed. The literal translations are Brunette, and to Wear. Brunette stems from the PIE root *bher-, which can mean either bright or brown and forms part of words like amphora, aquifer, bairn, or barrow - essentially a container. If we are to look a bit deeper at Cool Air, one of the underlying points the author is trying to make is that the body is merely the container for the soul, the intellect, the spirit of the individual. The verb phrase, to wear, helps to deepen the archetype.

From etymonline:

“The Germanic forms ‘were homonyms of the vb. for 'prevent, ward off, protect' (Goth. warjan, O.E. werian, etc.), and this was prob. a factor in their early displacement in most of the Gmc. languages’”

and so we see, that is another match for our good Doctor, whom not only clothed his living spirit in a decaying corpse, but used his machines to prevent and ward off the inevitable disintegration of his corporeal form, cheating his unbeatable enemy, death, if only for a time.

#Steampunk #Science #Relics

[hexterah]

(This mix was originally posted on LJ in February of 2008. I’m putting all my old fanmixes online w/ the info here! :D)

IF YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED THE FIRST BIOSHOCK, THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS FANMIX (just a warning XD)

1960. Your name is Jack. You're the only survivor in a plane crash in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Surprisingly, you find yourself near a curious tower jutting out of the water. You wade over, climb inside and find yourself in a sprawling underwater city, complete with clubs, apartments, factories and leaks. What was this place created for? Who created it? Why? How? It's a technical marvel, why hasn't it been all over the news? These are the questions you are searching for answers to, until more questions materialize, that is. Such as "Who is Atlas and why am I helping him?", "Why is my hand seething fire, insects and electricity?", "Why are these gigantic robots suddenly out for my head?" and "Oh dear god, why is that little girl chugging the red fluid she just needled out of that corpse?" Society here has collapsed, the people have gone absolutely out of their minds, everyone is jacked up on plasmids and now you're stuck in the middle of it. Welcome to Rapture.

Fanmix on Playmoss!: https://playmoss.com/en/hexterah/playlist/would-you-kindly-a-bioshock-fanmix (a couple of the songs won’t play on PM cause of the companies that have their music blocked -- they can be found on the actual youtube site though, if you wanted to hunt down the songs under the cut that the playlist skips~) 

bobby darin .. BEYOND THE SEA ... it's far beyond the stars it's near beyond the moon I know beyond a doubt my heart will lead me there soon ...

[ Take the bathysphere on down to your hometown. ]

................ 

Ignore the lies of Atlas and his parasites. Rapture is on the rise.

................

shiny toy guns .. STARTS WITH ONE ... only three i can’t seem to get enough anyway i can’t speak nothing to say anyway let’s show them the only way let’s show them our hearts ...

[ Don't mind the leaks or the bodies. Just watch your step. ] ................ Andrew Ryan asks you a simple question: are you a man or a slave? ................ temposhark f. imogen heap .. NOT THAT BIG ... I can cut my heart out just like you do and I can suck the life out of it just like you do i'm gonna pick myself up and pull myself together; never revel in recovery mode for when commitment is a dirty word you can't afford to ever slip or let down your guard ...

[ It might feel a little funny with the first injection, Jack. Just a little. ]

................ The Little Sisters Orphanage: In troubled times, give your little girl the life that she deserves. Boarding and education free of charge! After all, children ARE the future of Rapture. ................ the cure .. LULLABY ... on candystripe legs the spiderman comes softly through the shadow of the evening sun stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead looking for the victim shivering in bed searching out fear in the gathering gloom ...

[ Andrew Ryan is your God among Men. ] ................ Approaching a Little Sister is a criminal offense. Do not approach the Little Sisters. ................ gerard mcmann .. CRY LITTLE SISTER ... cry little sister (thou shall not fall) come to your brother (thou shall not die) unchain me sister (thou shall not fear) love is with your brother (thou shall not kill) ...

[ It's up to you, Jack, whether they're rescued or harvested, which means it's up to you whether the big brother in their chemically-enhanced fucked-up-beyond-repair family saves them or kills them and takes all the spoils as his own. ]

................ We all have bills to pay, and the temptation to break curfew to make a little extra ADAM is forgivable. Breaking the curfew is not. Stay on the level, and out of trouble. ................ three days grace .. NEVER TOO LATE ... no one will ever see this side reflected and if there's something wrong who would have guessed it and I have left alone everything that I own to make you feel like it's not too late it's never too late ...

[ People forget that the Big Daddies were once human too. ] ................ The smuggler is the friend of the parasite. It is your duty to report the smuggler. ................ radiohead .. ALL I NEED ... I am the next act waiting in the wings I am an animal trapped in your hot car I am all the days that you choose to ignore you are all I need you are all I need I am in the middle of your picture lying in the reeds ...

[ "Plasmids changed everything. They destroyed our bodies, our minds. We couldn't handle it. Best friends butchering one another, babies strangled in cribs. The whole city went to hell." ] ................ Rumor is the tool of the parasite. Fontaine is dead; Rapture lives. ................ videodrone .. ALONE WITH 20 BUCKS ... living, barely surviving freebasing life till its end divided soulless vices death before life could begin evil dollar bills, life stood still a tumor removed from your brain prescription refilled, a cure for my ill blood stains painted over again you tell me how to think you tell me how to feel cause I want to know what is real is anyone real? ...

[ If Ryan is Rapture's God, then Fontaine is his Lucifer. Once smiled upon for his actions, he's now Ryan's most prominent enemy. ] ................ Attention: A new curfew will be enacted on Thursday. Citizens found in violation will be relocated to Apollo Square. ................ dave gahan .. A LITTLE LIE ... I walk alone and you know I've never felt at home I'm so hard to please and I have everything I need ...

[ "Me family's in a submarine hidden in the foundation of Fontaine Fisheries. I'll meet you there." -- You'd better get used to being lied to, Jack. ] ................ Wanting an item from the surface is forgivable. Buying or smuggling one into Rapture is not. Stay on the level, and out of trouble. ................ joydrop .. BREAKDOWN ... and all the days you pushed around and all the times you lied to yourself and all the dreams we had just might breakdown ...

[ She seems to be the only one with a conscience on this sinking heap of metal. She also acts as yours. Listen to her. ] ................ Andrew Ryan reminds us: we all make choices, but, in the end, our choices make us. ................ kate bush .. EXPERIMENT IV ... they told us all they wanted Was a sound that could kill someone from a distance So we go ahead and the meters are over in the red It's a mistake in the making ...

[ Nothing holds back the experiments in Rapture. And nothing is saved from them. Plants, animals, children -- all up for grabs. ] ................ Wallet a little light? At Surgical Savings we'll happily work out an affordable payment plan for any major procedure. Potentially terminal illnesses won't wait until payday. Should you? ................ coheed & cambria .. THE HOUND (OF BLOOD AND RANK) ... come on, you've got to give it to me as though you want it too come on and set me free i'll dig it till we've made your grave oh, you've been a bad, bad boy i'll cut it 'til I carve it out and stick it in a sad, sad song why the bother, you're no brother you’re the wrong I need boy, we all found an audience while you found the worst of me ...

[ The body is a terrible thing to waste. So says the artist. One does the cutting and the carving and the other does the sculpting and the performing and they're two sides of one horribly twisted and beautiful coin. ] ................ Attention: Any public congregation of more than four persons is considered an actionable offense. ................ frou frou .. PSYCHOBABBLE ... do just what I tell you and no one will get hurt don't come any closer cause I don't know how long I can hold my heart in two make no sudden movements and no one will get hurt you're not coming over if you know what's good for me why would I be leaving you? ...

[ Andrew Ryan has a way with women, yes? Well, he also has a way with his children. A man chooses, a slave obeys. ] ................ The bottom of the ocean is our home, but it can also be a dangerous place. Any leak is a bad leak. Report any unexplained water promptly to the Central Council. ................ the birthday massacre .. PLAY DEAD ... thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme to those of us who've never tried to find a face behind our lipstick smiles and as our pretty faces die our plastic hearts will wonder why the make-up just won't hide the scars of time ...

[ "Now, would you kindly find a crowbar or something? Bloody splicers sealed Johnny in before they ... goddamn splicers." -- They were the citizens of this once thriving metropolis. Now they've been reduced to babbling, deformed maniacs who are only out for another high. ] ................ We all move the Great Chain, and the Great Chain moves us all. ................ moving units .. THE KIDS OF ORANGE COUNTY ... a suburban tease you can see their dirty knees you can see them bounce off a wall like a racquet hits a ball but they always come back again a Jamaican breeze you can smell the anti-freeze you can see the world is a maze when you're young and you're free to be anything you wanted to be ...

[ It's all about class, dollface, and you don't fit in! Parasite! ] ................ The parasite hates three things: free markets, free will, and free men. ................ brand new .. WELCOME TO BANGKOK [ instrumental ]

[ "Don't know what I was thinkin'. Never spliced up once the whole time I was down here in this aquarium. Figured it was bad to mix business with pleasure, but WHOOO! Forget all the nose candy and floor polish I been wastin' time with! THIS stuff is the mothers milk!" ] ................ "That's just the Plasmid Blues, Mary. You just need to slow down a bit on the splicing. Before you know it, you'll be as right as rain. Remember, a smart splicer is a happy splicer." ................ ambo .. BLUEBIRD ... and the sun was brilliant too ...

[ Maybe one day you'll see the sun again, Jack. ]

#BioShock #fanmix #hexmixes

[lindoig]

Days 51 to 55 - Borroloola Eastward

Friday was mainly spent in and around the caravan, working on our blogs and photos, a bit of cooking, paying bills, reading (yes, in the daytime) – and I wrote a bit more of my diatribe about Australia’s non-democracy.  It still needs some editing and I’m not sure what to do with it even when finished, but at least I feel a little ‘purged’ for having written down some of the things that have exercised my frustration over many years.  I have a list of topics that I would like to write about at some time, but it takes discipline and I am feeling that my current level of personal freedom doesn’t lend itself so easily to that much discipline.

In the evening, we went to the Malandarri aboriginal festival at the Borroloola Showgrounds. It was a real family event and whities were very welcome too. We watched quite a few groups of aboriginal women and girls (no males at all) doing some traditional dances – and there were also performances by an Indian and an Islander woman that were very different from the aboriginal dances. There were several food stalls there – a couple of BBQ places and cakes and drinks – as well as some art and craft stalls.  There were probably 50 or 60 whites there and maybe 4 or 5 times that many aboriginals and it was all a lot of fun.  The kids (scads of them) were running around and having a ball, all very excited and enjoying the dances with the rest of us – especially the more athletic and colourfully-costumed Indian and Islander ones.  I think the Islander woman may have been one of their teachers and they all adored her and everyone danced together at the end of the night.  It was only 8.30 when it finished, but until we got there, we didn’t realise that the main event was actually scheduled for Saturday afternoon and evening so we decided to stay on for another day so we could enjoy the additional celebration.  The food was pretty normal western stuff, but there was supposed to be a variety of bush tucker and traditional fare available on Saturday and we wanted to sample that too.

The gates opened for the festival at 2pm on Saturday so we went down there a bit after 3pm only to find nothing happening.  We ended up sitting in the car reading for a couple of hours before people started arriving so we went in and still stood around for over an hour before anything looked like getting under way.  I got our chairs out of the car and we set ourselves up in a good possy so we could see everything.  People then set up in front of us, so we moved in front of them and so it went.  In the end, there seemed always to be kids and/or people with cameras in front of us so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  We sat for a few minutes, then jumped up to take some photos, retreated to our chairs and did it all again.

There were traditional aboriginal dances from each of the four clans/language groups as well as the extremely energetic Indian and Islander dancers from the night before.  They each performed two or three times during the evening as well as dancing with a large group of kids that they had apparently been workshopping with in the previous few days.  There was also a Fijian group that did a very impressive traditional war dance and this time, some of aboriginal groups included some men whose dancing were more active and vigorous, but it was the aboriginal women dancing that really puzzled me. There were quite a lot of dancers in eachgroup, but they seemed to my uneducated eye to be almost identical and with no apparent objective.  Each group consisted of a line of women, it looked like the oldest first down to quite young girls, some needing some help from an older sister or mother.  When the music/singer started, they seemed to do little more than shuffle along in single file for perhaps 30 seconds, then stop and have a chat or a giggle - and after a while the music would begin again and after further discussion (almost seemed like an argument at times), off they would go again - and this process was repeated 4 or 5 times for each 'dance'.  For most of them, all the dancers held a white ribbon or scarf at 45 degrees to the vertical (and 45 degrees to the horizontal, both at the same time!!)  To me, all the music/chanting also sounded the same, but I am sure it meant something special in the local languages.  There was no explanation for those of us who were uninitiated (both figuratively and literally) and although their families seemed hugely impressed by each dance, I was left wondering what in the world it was all about.

Things moved along reasonably quickly with lots of group, each performing up to about 6 or 7 dances interspersed with the Indian, Islander and Fijian group doing their Bollywood, Hula Hula and War Dance to liven things up. All in all, it was an experience that I would not have missed, even if I came away more mystified than ever about what dance is all about.  Most people love to dance and some form of dance seems to be part of every culture.  Alas, I just don’t understand why.

I am not a dancer.  In primary school, we were compelled to learn some dancing of which I now have virtually no recollection beyond that of horror.  It was embarrassing, we had to touch the hands of girls (probably worse, boys too, but I can't remember), and I hated every dreadful second with a passion. Once I got a LOT older, I didn't mind touching girls' hands but I still can't jive, do the waltz, the tango, the twist or any of the other dances people seem to enjoy.  My mind can hold the tune (if there is one) and sometimes the beat, but my body is simply not capable of complying with the requirements of whatever the music suggests to other people. After a few whiskeys, if the hour is late and music is slow enough, I can almost manage the Clutch and Stagger or the Grope and Grind, but that is my absolute limit.

Having said that, dance fascinates me in a somewhat scientific way, at least some forms of dance, specifically ballet and modern dance.  I marvel at the performers who seem to defy the laws of physics - and I am invariably nonplussed by how they do it.  They perform an axel or a pirouette or a cabriole and hang in the air for much longer than seems consistent with my understanding of gravity.  They leap and traverse heights and distances that must surely break Olympic records. They move at speeds and contort into shapes that are clearly non-human, almost mystical, quite beyond anything that fits within my sense of feasibility.  Bodies curl and straighten in ways that seem possible only if the dancers’ bones were completely flexible.  I see it with my own eyes, but still find it hard to believe.  It is beautiful, elegant, graceful – and baffling. I enjoy watching dance, but it is more an exercise for my mind than something I could use to exercise my body.

Back to the festival, the night ended with four different local indigenous bands playing a bracket of songs, mostly original compositions, some a bit political, but much more western in style.  We stayed for the first two bands, but left about 10pm so I imagine it would have been a pretty late night for some people.

Sunday, we packed up and went to Hell.  Well, not quite, but we got as far as the Gate – and stayed overnight.  Hells Gate is a roadhouse about 300km east of Borroloola, just inside Queensland.  We approached it with a little trepidation on two accounts.  We had been warned how badly the road deteriorated once we crossed the border – and it did, but not that much – and a good bit of the road was bitumen anyway.  And I imagined the roadhouse to be dry and desolate like Nullarbor or Caiguna. Instead, it was a lush green oasis, everything damp from the automatic sprinklers scattered around the extensive lawn area, good amenities, clean with plenty of good water: not at all Hells Gate-ish!  And the birds – everywhere!  From Borroloola, we had seen very few birds until we got to about 10 clicks short of the border and from then on, we have seen thousands. We even clicked over the 200 mark on our trip-count. It is currently 204 species, including 35 new ticks for us since leaving home.  One species we haven’t seen a lot of was the grey-crowned babblers, but there was a group of them at Hells Gate.  They are always in groups, maybe 6 to 12 or 15 when we have seen them, and there were 8 in the family at HG.  They are extremely gregarious, always busy, chattering constantly to each other, chasing and scratching and staying closely in touch with the group. There was a mirror on the wall outside the ablutions and a couple of the babblers saw two intruders to their group in the mirror and immediately flew up and made a huge racket, pecking and babbling and trying to get to know (or chase off) the two strangers.  They gave up after a while, but returned to the fray 2 or 3 times before we finished packing up and leaving.  It was highly comical and it got us wondering about what was happening in their bird-brains.

We had particularly wanted to do the trip out east because it would enable us to have travelled the entire length of the Savannah Way from Cairns to Broome by the time we get to the west coast.  We have done Burketown to Cairns a couple of times before, but it is an iconic Aussie road-trip and we wanted to do all 3699km of it.  A lot of what we have travelled so far has been true savannah country, metre high grassland with sparsely distributed trees and little or no scrub.  Along this part of the track, there were some pretty impressive rocky outcrops, flat ridges with a tumble of giant stones down the slopes, mainly in vivid reds and oranges, but nearly always being swallowed up in the grass at the foot of the ranges.

The drive through to Burketown was uneventful although I had woken with a sore throat that got worse as we went along and was joined by a headache later in the day.  We set up in the caravan park early in the afternoon and went exploring.  There is not a lot to see, but we drove 6km out to the Albert River and found about a dozen caravans set up out there for the fishing.  It was a bit like we expected HG to be – hot, dry and desolate, eroded salt-flats along the bank and prominent threats of crocs posted, but the hardy fisherpeople were poised waiting for conditions to be just right for them to cast a line and hope for another barra.  (Burketown is touted as the Barra Capital of Queensland.)

We retreated to our happy hour and the comfort of our air conditioner and waited for the hotel kitchen to open to go and enjoy a hearty pub meal.  When walking through the bar, I got button-holed by an aboriginal guy, mildly tipsy I suspect, who asked quite a few questions about us and then ask if he could record me.  He is apparently involved with the local ABC radio and wanted to do a programme including an interview with one of the southerners who was visiting town.  I managed to dodge the issue by emphasising the urgency with which I needed the Cowboys Corral and that my wife and meal were waiting for my return to the dining room.

We frequently change our plans as we go along and this time has been no exception.  We had expected to stay overnight in Burketown then return on the same route until somewhere past Cape Crawford, but during the day, we decided to head south to Camooweal and back along the Barkley Highway for a few hundred clicks.  Unfortunately, that plan failed too because I am still feeling pretty rotten and Heather woke up with some of the same symptoms this morning so we have decided to have a very easy day in the hope of a quick recovery.  I am spending the day in bed – not easy for me – and Heather is taking it a bit easy, but still up and doing a little bit of hand washing and cleaning, etc.  Hopefully, Heather will be fine and I will be feeling better tomorrow and we will be on our way again, albeit initially 300+km south before turning west as originally planned for today.