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#bleh. itll b fine. unless it isnt. but itll b fine. im just scared that something will happen and i wont b able to leave. i cant even b
opens-up-4-nobody
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1 year
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#ok. ok. in less than 8hrs i have to get up and drive to the airport. and thats ya kno but im trying to b ok abt it
#like im not crying and hyperventilating. ive made the drive lots of times. its just. when i have to drive anywhere it morphs into
#r u ready? ur gonna cause a horrible accident destroying multiple lives in the process. r u ready? and im like no i hate that stop
#so that makes it hard. and im not a bad driver. it just terrifies me thst i space out and become non reactive. like thsts not good. be
#reactive pls. i just hate it. and this means i also have to drive back as well. while probably horribly jet lagged
#bleh. itll b fine. unless it isnt. but itll b fine. im just scared that something will happen and i wont b able to leave. i cant even b
#excited abt going on vacation bc i cant think past the possibility of something preventing me from getting to ohio bc if i let myself get
#excited then it wont happen. which is magical thinking nonsense but its how it feels. ugh. dont think abt it. itll be over in 24hrs 🤞
#knock on wood. idk what im gonna do while traveling tho. what am i gonna think abt? what to draw? what to plan? idk
#the bad part of traveling is thst i cant take all my markers 😫 me and my 500 shitty alcohol pens lol
#ill either draw a lot bc im not working or very little bc ill actually be happy for a while
#oh god. my boss just sent an email. i wanna ignore it. let me rest.
#bleh. last time i flew home i wanted to cry when i landed lol. well see if that happens again
#i feel like i was more depressed then but im more fucked up now. but like im also more functional. well. sorta
#ugh. i should finish packing
#unrelated
#its so funny to me when i get homesick like lol bitch u wanna go back to ohio????
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