#bestie cares about me?? and not passively?? he actively cares about me?? i also learned that I am apparently his closest friend I thought | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

horrornvnfan · 11 months

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Maria Fielding in Visual Novels

A 💘 will indicate who in the game is Maria's love interest.

Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack:

Backstory Changes: None, just a specification that Maria now lives in El Paso, Texas!

(Note: there is no set love interest 💘 for Maria in this universe yet because I want to see how this game progresses and learn more about the characters!)

JACK: "I have GOT to help this guy." They are both energetic and pleasant people, so they get along well! They're usually very happy around each other, and Maria enjoys spending time with him or going places with him. She sincerely cares about him and likes him! Maria always checks on his wants and needs, and making sure he's happy and knows his worth. When she can afford it, she buys him clothes, books, and other possessions, because she is an overly responsible woman DEDICATED to making sure Jack knows he is his own person and is entitled to his own life. Maria is also a researcher through and through, and has spent months scouring studies about ghosts and the Sunny Time Crew Show to figure out what the hell is going on here. She frequently makes up experiments for them to confirm that he was not a hallucination and test his abilities and limits. If he ever shows discomfort, though, she'll stop immediately. Maria can be uncompromising when it comes to responsibilities. Jack says that he's here for "her." She feels it's her fault he is here and entirely dependent on her for company and maybe even his existence. Maria is much more focused on making up for that than pursuing him. That being said, she does find him attractive and finds his attention and care touching, if unfamiliar. Jack must find this very frustrating, reading her mind and knowing that she likes him romantically and is simultaneously actively trying not to.

IAN: "We can't be in each other's lives again." They were best friends since childhood. Maria often defended Ian from bullies growing up, and Ian never got tired of Maria's eccentricity. They comforted each other a lot over family issues, and became a bit co-dependent when they started dating in college. When they broke up, Maria realized how unhealthy their dynamic was, and how she felt taken for granted. She is deadset on them never getting back together, but also doesn't want to talk things over . So she'll just avoid him forever! And if he suddenly shows up at the apartment.... well, fuck!

SHAUN: "My bestie, my Shaun!" These two get along so, so well. Shaun and Maria have similar interests, are both easygoing and passionate, and were great roommates. They were close in college but lost contact after because of work. She's glad he's back! Dating him never occurred to Maria since she was always with Ian, but she would seriously think about it if he brought it up first. No matter what, she'd really like to have him in her life.

NICK: "I love his look! I wish I could talk to that guy!" Maria likes his style a lot and has certainly complimented him on it while at work. (She has little to no filter.) But Maria hasn't spoken to Nick very much, and turned him down when he hit on her at work regardless of whatever interest she may have considered because she was thrown off and concerned about Jack's behavior.

BARRY: "Pay me more." She's friendly to his face, and he's friendly to hers, but despite their smiles, they both look like they're seconds away from attacking each other. Passive aggression in the face of stressful understaffing!

#I can't decide who would be the best love interest for her! Shaun is the obvious choice but I'm curious about Nick too.#swwsdj #MC: Maria Fielding #my oc #my post

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amazingorangedangantrash · 3 years

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Excuse me Orange. I have seen the posts of Makoto interacting with class 77 and as much as I would love to hear about it I'm really curious about how a relationship with class 79 and Makoto would be. More specifically Makoto and Kokichi.

Yes this is because I can't get the fic "Rosemary" out of my head. In summary, Makoto loses his memories and becomes a counsellor at a school in Germany after meeting Rantaro and adopts Kokichi. Besties Rantaro and Makoto with the disaster child that is Kokichi.

Hello anon! Thank you ever so much for being so polite and patient with me :). This post has been a long time coming, and people have requested it ever since I made those class 77 headcanons. I put it off partly because I was worried I wouldn't do the V3 characterisation justice. I based a lot of this off the wiki info, so I highly encourage anyone to add their thoughts or counter if they think of something different!

(Also since pre-game personalities are basically non-existent outside of headcanons, this is based off their killing game personas)

Makoto is excited to greet another school year, and some underclassmen along with it! With all the... interesting characters (turned friends) he's encountered in both his own and the above year, he can only wonder what the new students will be like...

Kaede- out of all the protagonists, I'd say Kaede shares the most similarities with Makoto, moreso than his own sister. These two would definitely get along and make a great tag team- watch out Hope's Peak, because these two will have befriended you before you know it! Makoto definitely admires Kaede's straightforwardness and her optimistic nature. They act as great support for each other if tag teaming another person/persons, as Kaede is bolder then Makoto, whilst Makoto acts well as a medium. They're both extremely loyal, arguably to a fault. Both Kaede and Makoto have lied in a class trial to protective their friend (a detective each time too, lmao). Apparently she also lied for his sake in the demo, which is sweet. I feel like they'd connect well over their mutual optimism and kind hearts. I think Makoto would convince Kaede to step out of her comfort zone- socially, she's very bold, but she strays away from activities that could affect her piano playing (by hurting her fingers) and can waste away a lot of time in the practice room. She misses out on a lot of potentially fun activities that way. On an outing with some others, she accidentally cuts her finger, and whilst Makoto apologises and tells her she was right to be cautious, she waves him aside. Despite being unable to play the piano for a few days, she fills her time with other activities and it actually... doesn't bother her so much. As an 'ordinary person', Makoto helps a lot of talented students by opening their eyes to seeing that their identity doesn't revolve around their talents. In return, Kaede offers to teach Makoto whilst he spends time with her in the practice room. Whilst piano is her favourite, she knows how to play other instruments, and teaches Makoto the violin (maybe you think he'd play a different instrument but violins are my favourite so I'm going with that-). They even practice together, and whilst Kaede still practices nearly every day, she finds that it can actually be even more fun with company.

Shuichi- ah yes, yet another detective. Makoto was initially surprised that they'd accepted another Ultimate Detective, since there's normally only one ultimate at a time in the school (aside from Luck, which is decided each year with a raffle or draw or whatever). It's revealed that Shuichi is actually undergoing part of a new tutoring programme, in order to increase the number of people with talents especially useful to society. He's to be tutored by his upperclassman... *drumroll* Kyoko! Being close with Kyoko and with Kaede, Makoto sees a lot of Shuichi and befriends him too. He helps out with Shuichi's lack of confidence and feelings of inadequacy. Unlike Makoto, Shuichi has an obvious role model that he both aspires to and compares himself against. Unlike Kyoko, Shuichi is much more connected to and feels responsible for the people his detective work condemns. Whereas Kyoko is confident in her goal to obtain the truth, in totally neutrality, Shuichi is hesitant about it, unable to feel unbiased and take a neutral stand. Makoto convinces him this is a good thing, that feeling guilt is normal and is a sign of being a passionate and sympathetic soul. Shuichi doesn't have to be the kind of detective Kyoko is- sometimes that kind of compassionate and caring person is exactly the mindset people want. He also reassures Shuichi that as painful as the truth is, uncovering it means being able to eventually move on, and embrace hope. (He also tells Kyoko to maybe be a bit more... /welcoming/ in their lessons, and eventually Kyoko grows quite fond of her student, discovering a fondess for teaching she didn't know she had).

They're both very humble and polite, and whilst Makoto isn't reserved, he can be very passive. I think the two would appreciate having more of a calm relationship, typical of a 'normal' friendship that is often er- 'lacking' at Hope's Peak. With Kaede's help, Shuichi would open up to Makoto and others over time. I personally headcanon Shuichi to have an anxiety disorder and depressive bouts, so I think someone like Makoto would be a great support friend, for him to go to when he needs company and comfort, someone to listen and to understand, and vice versa to an extent. I like to imagine Makoto, Shuichi and Kaede often spend time together (with Hajime too protag gang ftw). Shuichi likes to study in the music room with them. He's already good at research, but the music actually helps him... enjoy it more. (Maybe he takes up an instrument too, to give him a hobby to focus on, hmm).

Kokichi- Kokichi Ouma. Kokichi Ouma... what do I even say? Trying to wrap my head around his character is like trying to clear the death road of despair in your first try. Still, I'll try my best!

I've seen a headcanon before (i dont remember by who, if you know lmk and I'll credit them) that Makoto via his unpredictable luck would be immune to Kokichi's pranks, and I think that'd set up a pretty good basis for their introduction. I think if Kokichi and Makoto had to describe the other in one word, it would be... "frustrating". At first glance, they're practically opposites- someone like Kokichi, who seems to breathe lies instead of air, and a person like Makoto, who's so honest and open it's almost stupid. Makoto doesn't like how Kokichi lies so much, even if it means people hating him. He almost seems to WANT people to hate him (I think he said once that honest people scare him more than strangers). Makoto has a tendency to break down even the most difficult characters (coughcoguuh class 78 coughcofuh), and that both scares but intrigues Kokichi. Makoto couldn't hate him if he tried (literally the only person he ever even /disliked/ was Junko. Not /hate/, but just /dislike/? Really???), and it frustrates Kokichi that Makoto is so willing to trust him and put faith in him. Makoto isn't blindly optimistic either, he genuinely believes in people, and I think Kokichi would feel envious towards being able to trust so... freely. Part of Kokichi's childish and carefee personality and his perchance for lies is the manifestation of his desire for freedom. If no-one knows what he's thinking, if no one can guess his moves, if no one can use emotions or weaknesses against him, and he can do whatever he wants, isn't that freedom? Except it isn't. By not letting his guard down and being honest with people, in a way, Kokichi's lies have left him trapped, unable to open up out of a fear of vulnerability. Whilst Kokichi would be initially suspicious of Makoto, maybe even distrustful of or uncomfortable around his personality, I think having such a grounded, honest individual whom he can /rely/ on would be... comforting. Kokichi would warm up to him, and see that with Makoto, what you see is what you get. He's above all else, a /genuine/ person, though certainly not an ordinary one, and Kokichi learns to respect and even admire that. Kokichi intentionally pushes people away to avoid expressing vulnerability, by being intentionally unlikeable, but even so I think he's lonely. Pushing away others isn't out of a true desire to be alone (it never is), but a defense mechanism. That tactic wouldn't work on Makoto, and so Makoto could become someone who Kokichi not only considers a friend, but who wholeheartedly returns the sentiment.

Makoto isn't sure what to think of Kokichi at first. He's heard so much about this terrifying new student, an overlord of a secret underground organisation with roots all over the globe... and yet the first time they meet Kokichi is trying to drop a bucket of custard on him. I don't think Makoto would like how Kokichi lies so much- especially about things like killing people or sending them away to never be seen again. It upsets him how Kokichi can joke about it, and how he seems to enjoy toying with people's feelings. When Makoto has a goal, he'll follow it through to the end, so when he's determined to break through Kokichi's walls... well, it's not easy at first. He's also willing to keep Kokichi company and give him attention and hear him out, which Kokichi admittedly likes. Whilst Makoto isn't a pushover, he's also not going to threaten Kokichi or retaliate with mean words, he genuinely listens and entertains Kokichi even though he knows Kokichi is messing with him, which is.. really nice, actually. Even if he tries he can't really shake Makoto that much (pls after all the other -weirdos- people he's met?). Like oh-? They have to duel to the death with yu-gi-oh cards? It's lucky Makoto brought his stack with him! Kokichi orders him to play tea party with him? He loved playing it with Komaru when she was younger and was sad when she stopped! Kokichi tricks him into eating a really gross weird food? How did you know that was a family favourite! Kokichi is fond of Makoto, and is desperate to keep Makoto's attention on him, whilst at the same time not wanting to reveal his true feelings, leading to plenty of complicated situations. Eventually they reach a breaking point (i love drama ok) and whilst Makoto doesn't lash out at him, exactly, he admits that maybe it's best he leaves Kokichi alone, believing that maybe Kokichi truly is content to be the way he is. It's this event that causes Kokichi to realise that Makoto really is someone he'd rather not hurt- that he doesn't just 'like' him but truly cares for him. From then on he tries to dial it down a bit, and Makoto comes to understand how Kokichi's lying and 'cruelty' stems from a place of insecurity and fear of trust. He promises to be a person Kokichi can trust, to show him that vulnerability doesn't have to mean gettint hurt. Whenever the two are around each other all kind of wacky hijinks are bound to ensure, really. Kokichi loves having someone around to not only give him attention, but want to as well, and Makoto enjoys how Kokichi is willing to spend time with and entertain him, pushing him and supporting him in ways that he didn't realise initially. They both find the other extremely interesting, and their encounters usually lead to significant changes in their relationship and mindsets.

I like to imagine they'd spend time playing games and fanboying together- Kokichi adores video games, and it always poses a challenge going against Makoto's luck, which is great for someone competitive as he is. Kokichi also seems a fan of the shounen genre, and 'basic' Makoto is the only other person in the school aside from Hifumi and Tsumugi to even watch anime so you know those two nerds geek out constantly. Kokichi likes to play other kinds of games with Makoto too- and they really like word games- especially two truths one lie. Makoto is... suprisingly good at it. He's pretty poetic, and his genuineness makes it hard to disbelieve him. Which makes it all the more fun when going against Kokichi!

Rantaro- how would these two describe each other in 5 words? "A breath of fresh air". They're both some of the "normal-est" in the school tbh. It's really great for both of them to have someone to do normal teen stuff with. They love going shopping together, hanging out at cafes and arcades. They actually meet when looking for a birthday present for their sister(s). They both reach for the same one before apologising and insisting the other have it. Rantaro insists Makoto take it, since, well, it's not like /his/ sister would get it anytime soon... confused, Makoto asks why and somehow Rantaro ends up confessing the whole thing about his sisters' disappearances, and how he always buys a present for each of their birthdays, waiting for the day when he can give them to them in person. (Pls why does this always end up with makoto counselling the students akdhsjsj-). Makoto could definitely sympathise, having a younger sister of his own. I think they'd bond over that "older brother" role they share, and Makoto would definitely help alleviate some of Rantaro's guilt. I like to imagine that Makoto, whilst being a 'typical teenage boy', also has a lot of feminine interests that he might be a bit insecure about. I love the idea of Rantaro encouraging him to embrace that (guy has like 12 sisters, he gave up feeling shy about makeup, nail polish, jewellery and dressing up in tiaras years ago). Rantaro is the first person to paint Makoto's nails and he loves it so much-!!! They go out for boba together and wear matching green nail polish pls its awesome. Rantaro also tells Makoto stories from when he was travelling and its also amazing- Makoto loves hearing all about it, and Rantaro is actually an incredible storyteller. Though Rantaro initially adventured to find his sister(s), he remembers why he loved travelling in the first place, and he's able to look back fondly on those memories that used to be clouded with the despair of his sisters' disappearance. They even go on vacation together to a tropical island at some point (maybe with friends). I'd like to say Makoto's luck might even lead to them finding one of the sisters, but maybe that's a bit too coincidental ahaha.

Miu- hmm. I think Makoto would be a little put off at first by her vulgarity and very openly sexual and crude behaviour. It's not that he dislikes her, he just isn't really sure... how to react around her? Her and Kaede don't get along, and Makoto often finds himself playing peacemaker when he stumbles upon their arguments. To his surprise, though, she seems to actually... like it when they fight? In fact- she seems to like it when people give her the time of day at all, really. Maybe she's just... lonely? And well, she can be a bit... um- /obnoxious/, but she can't be that bad! Making him go to see her weird (weird) inventions, that must be her way of reaching out and trying to spend time with him, right?

And then she starts calling him "Ma-crap-to", "Naegidiot", "Makusoto", and "Na-unchi"

nevermind she sucks

Makoto, with his saintly patience, would probably end up getting closer to her similar how Shuichi does in his FTEs. (I'll be honest there's not much difference I can think of akdjsjjssksj-)

Kaito- Kaito! Who doesn't love Kaito. It's no secret Kaito thinks himself the centre of the Universe (insert space joke here haha)- he's the protagonist of his own life, and luckily for him, Makoto fits quite nicely into the sidekick role. Both of them are passionate, with big hearts and strong spirits. Kaito is really good at seeing through people too- (idk how accurate this is but apparently in the wiki it says he sees that Nagito isn't interested in his talent or him as a person so much as him as a symbol). Whilst Makoto obviously has a lot of respect and admiration for all the talented students, I feel like it's a lot more... genuine? In a way that he can appreciate the person behind the talent, more than the talent itself. Kaito is someone who likes to inspire people and I think this would resonate with him. I think the two could seriously get along! They're both hopeless (haha) romantics and stupidly optimistic lmao. Kaito can be a little hotheaded at times, so I also like the idea that Makoto could calm him down, or at least reel him in a bit. He's stubborn when it comes to... um.. certain types of people (kokichi) so maybe Makoto could open his mind a bit.

Maki: MAKI ROLLLL. Ok I'm sure she'd probably have to hide her talent until it all came out at some point. I think Makoto is someone who's very against killing (even Junko he believed there was a better way for), so whilst he wouldn't agree with her talent, I think he wouldn't hold it against Maki, especially because he's very good at separating person from talent. Makoto is very understanding, and I think that like with Kaito, he would try to befriend her and open her up. He'd probably feel bad for her, not knowing what a "normal" life was like, so he'd try his best to do that. I think Maki in turn would appreciate that, and slowly get to know him like she did with Kaito and Shuichi. (She also likes complaining to him about Kaito lmao).

(he also takes her out for sushi so she can see for herself what a harumaki is LOL)

I'm sorry anon, this is as far as I could go aksnjjssj. When I feel up to it I'll try and make a part 2 to this, but I hope this is good for now?

(Also that fic sounds awesome and I'll definitely have to read it at some point)

#makoto naegi #v3 #drv3 #makoto + class 79 #anon #my post

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swimfuel · 3 years

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okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

#humanstuck #vantas family #.

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bestdateever · 6 years

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Asking first.

Yesterday I had a great day at a BBQ held at the home of one of my best friends and her male-chauvinist husband. My friend’s husband is the quintessential conventional “man” - he brings home the bacon, puts it on the table and then expects my friend to do everything else: cook it, serve it on a platter while she tends to their children, their home, her job, and basically every other laborious thing, save for when something needs fixing. Of course, because he’s the man, he fixes things. And broadly in the context of their lives, it’s about what he wants and the direction he thinks the family should take. He doesn’t do anywhere near the work my friend does, but he is still the “leader.”

I have no interest in a partnership or marriage like this, by the way, hence my labeling of dude as a chauvinist. Nothing about their setup makes marriage seem appealing, actually. I am interested in partnership and marriage but the man I marry treats me as his equal, because I am his equal. The man I marry carries the labor of the relationship with me, including the extent to which a man can participate in the labor of childbirth (limited obviously in this regard). And because I have bore witness to relationships where this occurs I know it’s possible, and it’s my standard. I also have been involved with men who do not meet this standard, including my ex, The Gentleman and Mister. None of these mofos are men who would (or did, in the case of my ex) care to regard me as someone with equal footing or equal say in the course of our romantic dealings. Happy to have moved on from them and all these other dudes in my past.

In attendance at the BBQ were two of my other besties, one who’s single, and one who’s in a monogamous relationship with a habitual liar. Both of these besties take the stance in relationships that the men should do all the initiating. So in a discussion about an interaction with a guy single bestie met recently, she said they’d been texting for two weeks but nothing popped off; she had “made herself available” to him but he did not bite. So I said well if it’s not working then, yea, let it go. Her response was that it didn’t work because he didn’t initiate, and she wasn’t going to be the initiator, because if he was interested he would have asked.

I asked what would be the harm in asking if he was interested in hanging out, and there began a discussion of whether women “should” do the initiating. Bestie with the lying boyfriend is very staunchly against initiating and tried to compare a woman asking a man out to a man giving birth to a child. I told her that makes no sense. I think it’s ok if you don’t want to initiate, but to say that women are not capable of initiating is preposterous. I only note this friend is with a habitual liar - whose lying she is aware of - to highlight her ridiculousness generally when it comes to men. We all have our ridiculousness when it comes to dating to be sure - i discuss mine in this blog - but to be in full acceptance of someone’s lying ways and to think it acceptable is a reflection of someone not being in any way qualified to speak on what *should* happen in a relationship.

Then single bestie asked the chauvinist for his opinion. Of course, he says no, women should not ask first. According to him if a woman asks first, then he’s gonna know that he’s “in” and that she likes him. Bestie with the lying bf chimed in with “yes, and he shouldn’t know that you like him.” What’s wrong with him knowing that though?

Later on I shared with single bestie a very recent revelation about the way I engage with men: if I am interested and there appears to be mutual interest, I let my interest be known, including asking the guy out. If he says yes, great, and if he says no, also great - because I’ll know where I stand and my stance will likely involve moving on. I have had not many opportunities to try this out but so far so good.

So I ask first if I want to. And confirming that I’m not crazy for thinking that the problem is not about who asks first is this piece covering a relationship blogger’s twitter challenge to her followers. My husband or partner has to be ok with me initiating. That’s it. He has to walk into the interaction valuing my voice and the voices of women. And the chauvinist’s response confirms for me that a man thinking otherwise is not for me. If me asking a chauvinist out repels him in some way, great!

We all have to make choices about the way we want to live our lives. My friend married to the chauvinist and the friend dating the liar are interested in happiness, like everyone else, and are figuring it out the best they can. And I’m figuring it out too. And I have learned that being passive isn’t helping me be happy. Being active has helped in so many parts of my life - why not try it with regard to my romantic life?

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