#because there've been bigger things to worry about

[meebles]

So for the wip game u posted how about Rako Hardeen w/ Force-Sensitive!Cody 👀👀👀👀👀

Hi thank you so much for the ask! <3

Essentially it's a Rako Hardeen fic where Cody just. Refuses to believe Obi-Wan is dead and refuses to act as if he is. Partially because he just cannot believe that Obi-Wan could actually be taken out by some random bounty hunter, but also he just has this unshakable gut feeling that he can't fully explain or put into words, and swears that he can still feel Obi-Wan alive somehow... ;)

But his vode are worried, as it's not like Cody to be in such vehement denial over something like this.

Here's a little snippet of my medic OC Scabs discussing with Cody

“You’re implying they faked his death. What reason would they have to do that?” Cody shakes his head, and shrugs. He’s still staring at the damned wall. “There've been times when this war has made less sense than that, Scabs. I’ve believed more outrageous things with less intel.” Scabs sighs, and frowns. He absolutely hates arguing with any of his vode, but with the way Cody has been acting, so unlike his usual self… Scabs just wants to understand. “What about Skywalker? Kix told me he’s been a mess since the funeral. Wouldn’t he have been able to tell if Kenobi was still alive?” Cody finally meets his eyes, fixing him with a steely gaze, one that Scabs has seen used against unruly shinies countless times. It doesn’t have the same effect against Scabs, no— instead that cold, hard, ache in Cody’s eyes leaves Scabs feeling pained for a much different reason. “I think that Skywalker is too often blinded by his own arrogance and rage to consider the bigger picture.”

#thank you again!! #star wars #codywan #rako hardeen #meebles writes #wip ask game

[not-poignant]

I’m sure there are other factors contributing to your lack of motivation but gosh going off the word count you say you achieve? I’d hazard a guess a massive cause of your slump could be burnout plain and simple? No matter how much I love doing something if I do it too much I’ll lose all motivation and need to take a break sooner or later. Either way, hope the words come back to you when they’re ready 💕 please don’t force yourself, Pia the wonderful human deserves a break ! Wishing you the best

Mmm, possibly, but I don’t think it’s wordcount as much as everything else. For the past few years I’ve been able to rely on a default 25,000 words production every month as a minimum, and I didn’t go beneath that even during 6 weeks of head/neck radiotherapy last year. Like, word flow is generally pretty comfortable for me. It gets excessive when I go above about 35k, but in April I wrote 19k and this month I’ve only managed 23k before not being able to write.

There were other big factors that actually directly contributed to burnout this time which included:

* Some difficult interpersonal stuff* Going through an attempted carjacking on our last day in the UK, which was a direct PTSD trigger* 6 weeks in the UK having to meet people / go to new places, which was really exhausting for my anxiety / PTSD - so just sheer exhaustion there* A friend went through major spine surgery* A family member went through major surgery* I have an upcoming head/neck MRI (next Tuesday actually) to check which - if any - of my tumours are still growing (which would be catastrophic), and if I have any new ones, and 45 minutes in the MRI machine always kind of stresses me out in advance, regardless of the potential results. In the cancer syndrome group I’m a member of, we call it ‘Scanxiety’ :D * A low background worry that I have secondary cancer (and then knowing I need to get blood tests to see what’s going on with this) - also I probably don’t, but it is actually possible, and just...yeah I need to get those bloodtests.* My Disability Pension was suspended, so I’ve had no income for 4 weeks and I had no idea when/if I would get paid again (it’s been reinstated - it was suspended because I travelled)* Too much socialising, which is my least favourite thing on the planet.

Tbh, writing is kind of a coping mechanism for me, so not being able to do it was a pretty damning sign of just how exhausted I was, because it’s the first thing I reach for when these other things are wearing me out. It doesn’t feel like a break to not write, it’s a nightmare, though I did just let it ride for the two weeks instead of forcing myself to try and write through it, which helped.

But yeah, no, life has been a tad stressful lately, I’m glad that things are sort of starting to settle back into place again, slowly but surely! I mean aside from a bunch of health stuff next week, and needing to get all of that sorted out. But a lot of the other things are calming down. Thank goodness!

These last two months will be the first time I haven’t hit minimum monthly wordcount in a long time, which is personally disappointing, but not entirely surprising. But anyway tl;dr - yes it’s burnout, but no probably not because of my wordcount. It looks high to some other people, but it’s a lot lower than some professional authors, and 25k for me is actually pretty cruisey to achieve most of the time.

#asks and answers #personal #health stuff #i've been so stressed that i'm actually #not even as stressed about the MRI as i normally would be #because there've been bigger things to worry about #also the attempted carjacking was extremely unpleasant #and i don't recommend it as far as attempted crimes go #Anonymous

[knickynoo]

There've been a lot of analyses on what Marty must've been thinking in Part I when he sees Doc getting shot and then doing all he can to prevent it, and dealing with that horrible moment where he thinks he's failed. But do you have any thoughts on what Doc must've been thinking in Part III when he sees Marty's alias replace his name on the gravestone picture, and then, after trying to prevent it, is led to believe (even if for a very short while) that Mad Dog succeeded in killing Marty?

Hello! Sorry this took me a while to get to. And I’m sorry for the long response I’m about to give, lol.

This is an interesting question. Doc is (obviously) very concerned with Marty’s hot-headedness and the fact that it could get him killed. When he brings it up, Marty’s like, Don’t worry, we’ll be on the train by then, buuuttt might end up fighting Mad Dog anyways haha. When Doc tries to talk to Marty about not letting name-calling get to him, that conversation basically ends with, I can’t tell you what to do; you’ve got to make your own decisions.

Which like...side note: this is not a great strategy. There are a lot of things about pt III I take issue with, and I’m going to count this as one of them. This isn’t some silly little scenario where Marty is trying to figure something out school-wise or with peers. He is potentially going to be SHOT AND KILLED during a duel in the Old West because a deranged man who hasn’t taken a bath in like, 9 years, called him “yellow.” Doc absolutely should not leave the decision-making up to this kid who so very clearly does not have an ounce of self-control and is so consumed by what others think of him. 

Anyway, that’s a discussion for another time. 

When Doc sees Marty get shot, he reacts with that wide-eyed look of disbelief/horror. He also takes a step or two forward, before Buford’s posse grabs him and leads him a little closer. Mostly, Doc just stares. He doesn’t scream, or shed a tear, or fly at Buford in a fit of rage.

Now, when Buford was forcing Clara to dance with him, and when she was pushed down, Doc needed to be held back by three guys. He was fully ready, and trying!, to throw hands and attack Mad Dog. And just a minute or two earlier, he was willing to be shot rather than put Clara in danger. Later, when Doc is being held by Buford and his gang outside the saloon, he yells for Marty not to worry about him and to save himself and just get to safety. When it comes to people he loves and cares about, Doc would sacrifice himself without even a second thought. 

SO, this is why his reaction to seeing Marty go down is interesting. Despite the fact that there are four dangerous men around him who could easily shoot him too, you expect that Doc, consumed by grief and anger, would just start attacking people. Remember, he still thinks he’s lost Clara at this point, and now he thinks he’s also lost Marty. This man should be absolutely, completely, distraught. What’s stopping him from unleashing the full force of his emotions, even if it means he loses his life? Well, in my opinion...

1. He has a feeling that Marty is up to something, even though he has no clue what

OR

2. He’s in such a state of shock from what he’s just witnessed that he literally cannot respond in any way

There are a couple of moments where Doc gives this squinty-eyed expression as if he’s trying to work out what sort of plan Marty possibly could have come up with. It’s as if he’s pretty sure that things aren’t what they appear to be, he just can’t quite piece together what’s going on. At the same time though, he does genuinely look horrified when that gun goes off and Marty falls. I can imagine that his head is filled with so many confusing, scared thoughts. He’s probably hoping in the back of his mind that this is all a clever trick, but I’m sure there’s that part of him that truly thinks Marty may be dead. More than anything though, I think he’s in too much shock to even process what is happening, simply because it seems out of character for Doc not to have a bigger reaction to his best friend in the world dying before his very eyes. 

In short: Doc is in shock, and his brain is shut down of all thoughts. If he were able to appropriately react to the situation, Buford would be singlehandedly taken down by the world’s angriest scientist. 

In closing, please enjoy my favorite Doc Expression from that entire scene.

That is the face of a man who has no idea what he has just been witness to and probably needs to lie down for a very long time.

#back to the future #bttf #bttf iii #marty mcfly #doc brown #asks