#because the background music when i write him is so fiddly

[sabraeal]

to all the ghost still standing in this room, Chapter 2

[Read on AO3]

Written for @kirayaykimura for her birthday! Starting this got pushed back SO MANY TIMES due to bingo, and so when I finally got to it and asked if she had a last minute change in request...she finally admitted she wanted more liliwon 🤣 It’s been a nice little break from the months of frantic obiyuki writing!

A king must act decisively. Kyesook had told him that, back when they were simply Yuhon’s heir and the boy his supporters had trusted to mold him. Barely six years his senior, he’d given his lessons with all the airs of a priest reciting a sacred truths. But a king must also be cautious. And above all else-- even now his expectations weigh heavy on him --he must be in control.

Control, ha. Soowon marvels at the trembling wrist in his grip; at the thick, mottled skin now streaked by the pale band of his fingers, silvered like long-healed scars instead of shackles. A pulse throbs against his fingertips, slippery with rage and thwarted wrath, but there’s no fear in his eyes, no sense of how close he’s come to death.

Not yet, at least.

“As much as the lady might annoy...”  His grip tightens, just a hair, but his tone never strays from pointed civility. “Striking a woman is unnecessary.”

“Annoy?” Ah, of course. A man’s fist might quiver inches from the delicate bridge of An Lili’s nose, but that’s the stone that change’s the river’s course. “This man shakes a poor woman down in the middle of the streets, but I’m annoying for trying to--”

“Shake her down?” The man’s eyes bulge in their sockets, no longer a blade but a bullfrog belching its complaints to a ripple that’s splashed too close. “This girl is getting in the way of my business--”

“Your illegal business.” Lili surges toward him, heedless of the danger she so narrowly avoided. “I don’t think Kouren is going around, letting men like you issue permits--”

If she keeps this up, she might well win this argument by default, if only because the man’s died of apoplexy. “What do you know if it, you little--”

“I think you will find--” it’s in his softest, most dulcet tones that Soowon speaks, smile stretching his lips like a rack does a skin “--that denying this young woman’s wishes might cause more problems for you than it solves.”

He might be slender where this man is meaty, calm where he seethes, but when Soowon looms head and shoulders over him, bones groaning in his grasp, the man finally recognizes him the same way a rabbit recognizes a fox in the brush: as the superior being that cradles both his life and his death in its grip.

One that squeezes a little tighter as he says, “I speak, of course, from experience.”

Those bulging eyes no longer fix to Lili, no; they swing back to him, trembling like the rest of his squat body. Soowon, for his part, tries to find no pleasure in it. He fails of course. Ah, what his old minder might make of this mess? Nothing that would earn that man’s sparing praise, that’s for certain.

“F-fine then.” That man’s lips may flap but all that falls from them is this false bravado, useless save as a salve to his own pride. “Guess she can have her way, if it’s so important to her.”

“How kind.” Soowon’s grip springs open, sudden as a trap. The man stumbles, catching himself on his back foot. “Your graciousness will not be forgotten.”

There’s a threat in those soft words, hidden beneath the cushion of civility. A cleverer scoundrel would take it, a lesson learned about what a fair man might hide behind his sweet smile, but this one-- this one cradles his wrist against his chest and spits, “But if she gets in my way again...”

It is the work of a single step to slide between them, to break the furious path of his glare.

“That won’t be a problem. Or at least--” his voice drops to his chest, eyes falling open from their squint “--you better hope it is not.”

He’s impossible, that’s the problem here. When Lili left camp-- hours ago now, coaxing the most biddable mare in their entourage with the dried fruits she smuggled into her skirts during breakfast-- Soowon had still been in his tent. Sleeping, she assumed, or sulking if he couldn’t bring himself to have regular, basic needs like all the rest of those lesser mortals. He was still supposed to be doing that now, only inside that terrible darkened cage that passed for a palanquin.

And instead he’s-- he’s here. Haunting her heroic moment. Just swooping in and handling things when she definitely didn’t ask him to. Sure, he’s got that scumbag already scurrying into the gutters where he belongs, but he’s stooped over the woman too, wearing that stupid smile of his, the kind he squints into so no one notices it doesn’t reach his eyes.

A slender hand slips out from beneath the gleaming white of his robe, and oh, he’s stealing her rescue, too! Here she is, the one who bothered to step in to begin with, but that poor woman is all eyes for that beanpole, flushed and stammering as he guides her to her feet. Which is something Lili would have been happy to do, as soon as her own legs quit trembling. Just a few minutes and she would have been the one to gallantly offer her hand, the one to dust off the woman’s dirty knees. But instead--

Instead it’s Soowon fussing over her, offering with his stupid voice-- not even his real one, but the one he uses to come off as gentle and inoffensive, for all the good it does him-- to take her home. And it’s to him she clings even as her she insists he’s done enough.

Shameless, that’s what he is. Doesn’t even bother to look sorry when he finally glances her way either. Oh no, for her, he’s smug. Bastard.

Well, he’s not going to have the satisfaction of floating over here and pulling that angel act on her, oh no. Lili storms over to him first, legs stronger with every stomp, and demands, “What on earth are you doing here?”

Oh, he smiles and simpers for all the smallfolk, playing benevolent savior, but for her-- for her there’s no squint, no pretense that he’s doing anything but looking down on her when he says, “Saving you, it seems.”

“You?” It’s stupid that he’s so tall; if he’s going to be so obnoxious, she should at least be able to put her hands around his throat without having to jump. “Saving me?”

It’s ridiculous. Absurd, even. And worse yet, terrible, because if she’s being generous-- which she shouldn’t be; he doesn’t deserve it-- it might even be true.

That insufferable smile widens when he reaches out for her, and she means to duck, to sidestep, to do something if only to keep him from acting whatever way he likes, but--

But she’s frozen instead, breath caught up in her lungs as his fingers graze past her ears, disrupting the flyaway hairs that always gather just there no matter what Tetora does. A shiver traces down her spine, trembling her already weak knees, and it’s-- it’s nothing. Only that he never gets this close to anyone, not on purpose, so it feels...different. Weird.

That is, until her hood tumbles over her eyes, leaving her with only slash of his smirk in her vision. “Yes. Like always.”

She wrestles with the fabric until it sits properly back from her face, sputtering and spitting but never quite forming words. Always. The gall of him. “Where’s your babysitter?”

His eyebrows lift, two elegant questions over the still seas of his eyes. “Where is yours?”

Lili scowls; it’s not until her palms prickle that she even realizes she’s clenched her fists. “I don’t need one! I can take care of myself just fine.”

He doesn’t even bother to open his mouth, just pointedly glances at where she’d stood, too stupid to see a punch coming, and-- and--

“I can!” A hit like that would hardly kill her. “But now that you’re here, Joodoh is going to be tearing across the whole countryside to find--”

Funny, she wouldn’t have though his spindly hands it could fit so perfectly over her mouth. Or that his grip could bite so harshly into her wrist.

She glares up at him, ready to give him a piece of her mind, muffled or not, and finds a smile that is all teeth.

“Why don’t we move this discussion to a more amenable location?” he asks, and oh, it’s phrased like a suggestion, but every twitch of his eyes says, you’re making a scene.

Ha. If he thinks this is a scene, she’d be happy to show him what it looks like when she does a whole production--

Until she follows the quick flick of his eyes, gaze quickly drawn to the gleam of pauldrons, to the tooled leather insignia branded across the chest of more than a few men now lingering at the edge of the market, watching them. 

With a quick catch of her breath, his hand peels away. “Come.” He tugs at her wrist. “This way.”

“All right.” Lili slips like water from his fingers, one moment solid under his grip, and the next idling behind him in the alley, arms-crossed. “What are you doing here, really?”

Ah well, it’s fine enough; he hadn’t thought she would allow him to lead her this far from the market, let alone to somewhere properly secluded. “I might ask you the same thing.”

“Ugh, yeah you could,” she huffs, hands flailing wildly beside her already listing hood. “Or you could just answer the question like a normal person!”

He blinks at her, stymied. That’s hardly a standard he’s ever been expected to aspire to. Exceptional, certainly; superior might as well go without saying; but normal...?

“Fine!” Her head flings back with a groan, and ah, that explains how it keeps falling. “I’m here because Lady Lili only gets to see flower gardens and tapestries and maybe a decorative pond or two. And that’s fine or whatever, but Yona isn’t going to care about whether or not the castle’s lilies are growing well this year. For that matter, neither do I!”

His mouth opens, only to find that there’s nothing to say. “Ah...hm.”

“And also you’re horrible to travel with,” she continues, quite unnecessarily. “That’s a big part of it.”

“Well.” There’s a half dozen idiosyncrasies he could lay at her door as well, a litany of habits that could make even the most pious of the priesthood rethink temperance, but what comes out is a stilted, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“So...there.” Her fluttering hands finally perch on her hips, ready to take flight with a single shift in the wind of her moods. “Your turn now.”

It would be simple to answer; he had prepared a response to that very question before he even left camp. Not the truth-- no one liked that, no matter what they said-- but the sort of regal humility expected of a cousin to the crown. I wanted to see the people of this land with my own two eyes, he would say, gaze fixed to the middle distance, properly melancholic. The care my cousin shows our people has taught me to seek its like wherever I go.

But as pretty as the words are, as melodic a cadence as he had composed to cradle them, it feels...inadequate. Lili may not speak to him with eloquence, but she is earnest, the way he had once been with...

Ah. An uncomfortable thought.

“The last time I was here, I came with an army at my back.” An invader, hoping to subdue a weakened rival with an application of suitable force. “I have to admit I was...curious. About what may remain after...everything.”

About what they might say about King Soowon, the man who failed where Princess Yona flew. Ah, Empress Yona, now.

The answer had been surprisingly little. He’s not sure what would have been worse: for his name being synonymous as their oppressor, or the fact that his gambit left so little mark that few remember it.

“It’s so different now, isn’t it?” The tightness around Lili’s eyes eases, the whole of her face softening as she skims the streets. “There’s scars where Kai and the nadai carved them, but...”

“I expected more,” he agrees. “A testament to Kouren’s leadership.”

“Oh?” One of her narrow brows quirk, too interested. “Is that so? Do you find that an attractive trait in an ally, or--?”

“Don’t start,” he grumbles, tucking his hands into his sleeves. “It’s insulting enough that Yona has tried to dress this up as a...a diplomatic mission, I don’t need this from you too.”

“But it is a diplomatic mission.” For once he wishes An Lili was a better liar; then he wouldn’t have to suffer her subterfuge. “Kouka has to send someone to the coronation, and who better than Yona’s own cousin, a--”

“An usurper and kin-killer.” His teeth ache as he strains his well-earned titles through them. “And though my lovely cousin would never admit it, I am a superfluous and inconvenient member of the royal family. She might well have spared me her mercy and killed me instead, the reception might have been kinder.”

For all that it’s true, Lili scowls at him, as if he’s a disappointment. “Yona has spent the past two years trying to involve you in every aspect of Kouka’s governance. She made you the Sky Advisor! You can’t really think sending you here to--”

“Woo a queen who has every reason to hate me?” For all her hot air, Lili deflates. Ah, so they had not thought he would figure out this portion of their plan until it was already well underway. “Yona would never be so rude as to suggest it outright, but I’m sure it would put her most at ease if I found Xing so diverting I never return to Kouka.”

Lili unleashes a groan so weary it practically creaks. “She would like you to be happy, instead of just...haunting your end of the castle and finding new ways to make yourself miserable.”

“Haunting.”

Her sharp little finger stings where it prods his chest. “You’ve spooked several servants, mister. Surprising we can still get people to go clean down that way when they’re all spun up about restless spirits wandering the halls.”

Soowon smooths the dimple she leaves in the fabric. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“You said it, Yona’s too nice to tell you the stuff you need to hear.” Her mouth gives an insufferable little twist. “Like that you need to go out and get some fresh air.”

“And you’re...not.” It’s not a question. He has met her, after all. It’s one of the most tolerable things about her.

One of her slim shoulders lift, unconcerned. “Someone has to.”

“How...” He lets a few possibilities roll around on his tongue, savoring each one. “Considerate.”

“Listen, if you’re so concerned about why Yona chose you for this party--” her tone implies heavily that he shouldn’t be “--you’re a royal, like you said. It’s an honor for people to host you. Fussing over you makes them feel important. And the fact that Yona’s letting them do it makes her seem magnanimous.”

His eyes narrow. “I see. And the fact that I am the highest ranking unattached member of the imperial court...”

“Fine,” she sighs. “Yeah, if by some cosmic coincidence you somehow fell wildly in love with one of Yona’s staunchest allies and the strongest queen of her vassal countries, I’m sure she wouldn’t be mad about it.”

The only queen of her vassal countries. His breath whistles out through his nose. At least it’s a more flattering option than Mei-nyan. “How optimistic of her, considering how the last time I was in Xing, its first princess was calling for my head.”

“That’s Yona for you. Now...” Lili cranes her neck, peering around his side to-- ah, to his pockets. “Are those rice cakes?”

Ha. He had quite forgotten those were there. “Is there a reason you are asking?”

A grin splits her face as she threads her arm through his, all teeth. “Because if you’re going to show me around this place, you’re gonna have to share them.”

#liliwon #wonlili #akatsuki no yona #yona of the dawn #my fic #future fic #to all the ghosts #any #after i struggled so mightily with the first chapter this was written in like two days #most of it spent of futzing with soowon's pov #because the background music when i write him is so fiddly #lili is like. here is my pop mix on spotify let's go