#because i won't be able to pay for it

[irregularbillcipher]

so god forbid i’m seen just as an average human being

#bill cipher #andrew kryptos #gravity falls #not gonna tag flatland because it seems too tangentially related but you guys get why i draw their mortal designs grayscale and victorian #for anyone going 'what's going on with baby bill's chest???' that's a victorian scoliosis brace #they're mostly covered by clothes usually but with a low collar you would be able to see parts of it #i usually translate his mild irregularity to scoliosis #just realized there's no full drawing of canon era bill in his stupid used car salesman suit. ah well #just know the jacket has a smilar triangle shape to the jacket he wears in the last flatland era drawing and has triangle buttons #you guys have seen it i posted that design before #a good portion of these drawings is just me going 'hee hee victorian fashion fun.' loved drawing andy's stupid big coat #also-- if you notice there's a jump in bill's clothing quality from the pictures where he's around 8 to the one where he's a teen #that's chuck's doing. he was like 'well if you're going to work in a tailor shop you should look the part >:(' #and bought bill a 'uniform' so he had some nicer clothes. bill's folks don't really bother getting him nicer clothes most of the time #but if someone else is paying they won't turn it down and he picked up on that

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Recognizing your weaknesses and why you think the way you do is in fact half the battle.

Unfortunately, it is only half.

#i speak #ah yes i struggle to get rid of things because i'm terrified i will need or want them one day and won't be able to get them #or will have to pay unnecessary money for them #glad i've figured that out #unfortunately i still have too little space and too many things and i need to get rid of some but #what if i need it one day? #one step at a time

[rokurodokuro]

I really need to get my spending under control

#hi hello i overspent and don't have enough money to pay the internet bill again #i'd be fine if i were able to pay for shit with cash because i can hold it and see the numbers #but no. fuckers won't take cash #i have to use a stupidy stinky bank account #i guess dm for paypal or venmo

[purgetrooperfox]

how come you do post much about gaza?

assuming you meant don't*? because this makes no sense otherwise? anyway

that you don't see my activism doesn't mean it isn't happening. tumblr is a terrible platform for activism, so I don't use it for that

#i won't pull up donation receipts for a fuckign tumblr anon #i won't sit here and try to explain that tumblr activism is typically restrained to tumblr. people rb the posts and never do anything else #people here notoriously do not click on links #so what i do. what i donate. where i protest. my household's boycotting. i do it and i talk to people about it but i don't do it here #because it won't do jack shit here and i'm trying to connect with people who might actually participate. for tangible results #sorry if that sounds Angry. it's because it is. #if y'all want to free palestine then you have to participate more than just reblogging. boosting voices is good but it takes more than that #tumblr rbs don't put pressure on politicians. they don't fund relief efforts. they don't pay for esims. they don't demonstrate organized #support for palestine in a Visible Manner to your city or state or country #they aren't disruptive #that's why you don't see me post on here. i'm trying to concentrate my efforts where they might do something #NOW. before you come for my throat. obviously there is nothing wrong with circulating posts about aid and resources to help #but then you should really consider like. contributing to those resources. that's key. that's the point. and some people here do! great! #i just. am more likely to be able to find and reach people who do in other places #maybe i should've said all that in the post instead of the tags but i really don't want to bring a bunch of misunderstanding down on myself #asks answered #'i wont sit here and explain' and then i did. damn

[da-proti-toku-grem]

I've been debating whether to learn acoustic or electric guitar first for so long, but now Nace has made me realize that bass is also so fucking cool and now I kinda want to learn it but idk what to do 😭

#like. the fact that idk wheter to learm acoustic or electric is not the reason why i haven't started yet #it's more because i don't have money to even buy the guitar. let alone pay for classes #so i won't be able to learn it either way lol #but idk just seeing Nace playing has kinda become an inspiration? #like. ever since i started getting into JO i started redescovering my love for music #and how much i wanted to learn to play smth but never actually did #and yk i always said i wanted to play guitar and/or piano (or even drums) but then i saw Nace and i was like OH 👀 #maybe that's cool too #oughhh idk i want to learn many thing but i don't have time nor money :/ #nace jordan #maca speaks

[totallyseiso]

In Australia you get paid extra for working on a sunday. Minimum wage for someone my age on casual hours when working a sunday is something like $43 an hour. My bosses had some legal bullshit that allowed them to pay me a bit less at like $37 an hour for sundays. So the whole time I've been here I've been getting underpaid. The courts have informed them that they're no longer allowed to do that and now they have to pay me the actual minimum wage on sundays.

I've been informed that I will no longer be working weekends, unless I agree to become full time or part time, which would mean getting paid even less than I already was. Which they claim would be better because I would get holidays and sick days... they also give you the lowest amount of those they can legally get away with.

Man, I fucking hate small business owners

#scumbags. these millionaires cant pay me below minimum wage anymore so they just won't pay me at all #oh well now i get weekends off and they get to deal with the whole store falling apart on weekends because they have no staff for it #oh and the other day an elderly employee broke her knee while working and they made her finish her shift. standing too #so theyre about to get investigated by fairwork for that bullshit because she deserves a lot of compensation and might be able to sue

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[wokeuplaughing]

any time I talk to my step mom she gives me a new fun fact on whatever my dad is attempting to do to fuck me over :(

#he was talking about taking my phone off the phone bill and taking me off his insurance #just so that I won't be able to afford testosterone #and Im like crying right now because sometimes he'll go behind her back on shit like that #I don't even pay for the testosterone on his insurance he just wants to make it so that I can barely afford to live #:( #I barely can afford to live as is

[bear-cubs-art-things]

yknow I think to avoid burnout and being overwhelmed with g&bau I think I'll ask two to three asks per day. Perhaps the same with art requests :)

Seems reasonable enough. Plus, I'll be able to ACTUALLY focus on schoolwork this year (it's only the first day but still).

Pacing yourself out. It's a wonderful thing :>

#plus this way I won't churn out shitty and rushed art :D! #my g&bau askbox is full of random asks atm- gonna look into the context for those soon :3 #which this being said don't expect your ask being answered right away :) #bear rambles #and I say I'll be able to focus on schoolwork this year bc last year I never really payed attention in most of my classes #BECAUSE I was too focused on tumblr and art requests #DW MY GRADES WERE GOOD #but this year I plan to do better #:D

[thosehallowedhalls]

Playing Crimes again because I miss Trystan and Emma.

#will i pay vip when crimes 3 arrives? probably #will i grumble about doing so because i have zero expectations about its quality? definitely #but i won't be able to wait until it goes to wide release

[warlordfelwinter]

listening to juri's speaker playlist and reminiscing fondly about the red war and i was so zoned out that i managed to convince myself i could replay it and then i Remembered and it was like lucy pulling the football away from charlie brown except my brain was somehow both charlie brown and lucy

#at this point bungie #bungie listen to me because i'll only say this once #at this point. i would buy it again. just to be able to replay it #i would be furious at having to pay for things you stole from me but i would. i would. just to play red war again. #every other mmo manages to be massive without vaulting anything #just put more effort into the story than the graphics and most of the players won't care #i would take lower res to be able to play the stuff i BOUGHT #personal #fel's destiny #sigh. every time i get into destiny i can't help but get salty about this #i just miss the red war so much #it was the best of d2 for me #coming into it after being a d1 player for a while was an incomparable experience like i'm so so so happy i got to experience it like that #i will never again feel the emotions i felt coming to the tower in that storm #seeing the traveler caged #losing my light #all those cutscenes with the speaker #getting called 'saladin's young wolf' by shaxx at the beginning <3 #i will die on the hill that if bungie hadn't started the seasonal model they'd still be making a stellar game #put all the work into the expansions like every other mmo and deliver a big punch of incredible story #people find shit to do in wow and ffxiv and warframe and etc etc in between expacs #they'd find shit to do in destiny as well #but they just gotta capitalize on that fomo #and cater to the people who play it 24/7 #knife emoji etc etc #i bitch but i'm still fucking playing i guess #i just wish my beloved would return from the (red) war that's all #and that the seasonal model would die and bungie would realize it's OK not to make money constantly between expansions #that's called making an mmo babes #charge a sub like ffxiv does if you're that desperate

[purplesaline]

The average cost for a blood transfusion per unit of blood in the US is around $200-$300

In my city larger dogs can donate blood to the dog blood bank, and for every unit of blood they donate they would get a free unit of blood should they ever need a blood transfusion in the future.

Do you think a system like this would encourage more people to donate blood?

I'm not entirely certain given how many people have the "It won't happen to me" mentality.

#my own recent need for blood products has been making me wonder #I've donated 13 times before they cut me off #because I didn't know what was causing my hand pain #and by the time I figured it out #and could donate again #I actually am in need of blood products #and likely won't ever be able to donate again #thankfully I'm Canadian and don't have to pay for any of it #but I wondered #if people in the US could considee the blood bank more like an actual bank #where they could “save” blood for a future date #and while they weren't using it #the bank would put it to use the way banks do with money #in the interim

[drewsaturday]

a big block i have in creating fanworks these days really is not having the time, but honestly. i know that it's kind of just an escapist distraction taking my energy away from things that will actually improve my life in the long-run? and i try to justify it because it makes me happy and we all need hobbies :)

but like... i do not think it actually does make me happy at this point lol. most of the things i get ideas to make aren't things i really want to these days, just things i know will give me a tiny hit when 2 people maybe reblog it. and i think i can get more joy out of just playing a real life instrument or sketching an original character for myself instead of as a performative thing for strangers in my phone who have lost the knowledge that you're supposed to interact with things you like because fandom creators r not content factories.

#txt #i do have a legit drive to make Some fanworks but... never enough of a drive to make my home there i guess? #i don't get enough ideas to really justify investing myself TOO hardcore bc i know it won't be long term or it won't have a personal pay-of #of me getting to have my own little fanon universe of creations (unless i've already done this in the past and i can continue that easily) #especially since... fandom culture has changed so much i feel like most things i get into don't have an engaged interactive fandom #because shows dropping their entire season immediately etc #i'm not really going to get much out of making things and developing enough of an understanding of a show to make those things well #and if i do then literally no one is going to interact with them anyway #so it feels pointless when i see fanworks primarily as a community thing and there are no communities lol #so that's... kind of another reason the escapism part is looming over me SO hard #because at this point i'm not even getting community out of it i'm literally only getting the escapism #and that just feels dull #anyway like i said some solutions to this are to just... continue with shows ive already put time into #because then making things is a bit easier than for something new #or get into things i hear about from friends so i'm able to connect with people about it on that level #i'm just peacing out from the content creation grind tm #esp bc it just makes for devastating comparison of my stuff to other people's #when those people can keep up with it and post fics and edits as soon as a season drops or for more popular things

[advisorsage]

Can my body stop hurting?!! Like I know, I'm hungry. I know I need food. But if I eat, it just comes back up because my body won't keep anything down. So why the hell does my body insist on making me feel my stomach do the thing! I want to be able to eat. I want to! I'm so tired of throwing up.

#i just #want answers #but there don't seem to be any #and i can't call the doctor until Monday #I'm so tired of this #I'm sure my teeth are getting damaged from all the stomach acid #and i can't trust that i won't shit myself because of how often i have diarrhea #i feel like my body is shutting down but no one will acknowledge it or tell me why #and i haven't been able to keep my psych meds down for days now so I'm likely to start spiraling there too #literally the only thing going well is my class #if this is the price for academic success i don't want to pay it #how the hell did i even get here #anyway #drink water you heathens

[salvadorbonaparte]

I know it's a highly prestigious uni and two scholars I really admire but who do they think they are? "you can try again next year" yeah sure because I'm going to sit around for *one whole year* to apply again to then wait *an additional whole year* to start a PhD. I'd like to one day be finished with uni and and get a job and start saving up for retirement. I have over 30k student loans and they keep raising the interest. I only have health insurance because I'm on unemployment benefits.

#My hope is that I don't have to retire because either they got rid of that concept and you just work until death #Or climate change has killed me #But I'm 25 and I won't be able to start paying into retirement until I'm like 30

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

tag limit hit ho gayi yaar

#haan toh main kya bol rahi thi. #haan unhone sab itna jaldi kiya cheek pe kiss bhi kiya i was like arey please no aap rakho itne saare paise i can't 😭 #cause she already bought me that hoodie for like 700 rs #she was like i can't be here for your birthday na #bhai meko toh rona hi aa gaya itna saara pyaar i swear mere parents ko iska 1% bhi nahi hai mujhse😭😭 #and money has been tight bachpan se cause shit happened in like 2013 or something and since then we've all been single #mindedly striving for highest paying jobs best education and now that she's finally there (touchwood) #i think it means a lot to her being able to spend money freeely for her loved ones #and with her idk i do believe that she loves me yes because she said ek baari when she was crying because kuch kuch hua tha #but also attending meeting office ki online rote hue sob karte hue kyunki parents time dekhkar thodi na ladte hai #and i didn't know how to help her and i knew they were. fighting subah se and she hadn't eaten anything so i made her cornflakes ka doodh #(her fav) and gave it to her table pe but it just made her sob much much harder and she couldn't drink it😭 #but later on she said ki im so thankful i have you mujhe dikh raha tha ki you wanted to help but you didn't know kaise karu still you tried #and just you being there was enough in that moment #like i don't know why im thinking all this today maybe because bua is here home and she was home that time too it happened in front of her #all this she's the only person who knows what kinda shit dad does #and just. past few weeks i really genuinely wanted to kms like i would sit in morning class and i would look down at my hands and see the #veins and think one cut and it would all be over you're so tired i know you can rest now #it got so bad that i started wearing full sleeve clothes only so i couldn't look at them #but now. i won't say it's completely gone that feeling but like #i want to live because so many plans i have to with my sister how can i leave her alone #like not just for her but for me for us i want us to be happy together like we planned #like yk us as a unit doing things we've always dreamed of visiting places and bachelorette parties and clubbing and living with her and her #bf/husband when i need somewhere to run to and going on a no budget shopping spree and storing ice cream tubs in our house #like they used to do in american movies and her having kids me getting over my disgust for them helping her raise them clean them being #the masi and #I DON'T KNOW OKAY OMG😭 #i felt so loved finally after a long time SACH MEIN real way mein #oh pata hai she also offered to pay mere tui ki fees bc i was complaining to mom ki papa kaise taunt maarte hai😭 #like it's 20 fucking thousand waise toh kam hi hai but as a salaried person it's still a lot 😭