#because i literally cannot afford to stay in cork longer. rent is WAY too high.

[louhearted]

not so ironically considering deferring my master to next year. like i really really do not want to and deep down i know i’ll regret it but also i cannot for the life of me concentrate on anything and my one prof keeps mentioning the option to defer at the end of every email and like. stop dangling it in front of my face. i can DO THIS. i can. I CAN.

#my thoughts #i don't even know the specifics of deferring or how that would work #and if i have to pay more student fees then #and also how my scholarship would fit into that #because i literally cannot afford to stay in cork longer. rent is WAY too high. #and just. i hate it all. #and i can't fully freak out about any of it #because everyone in my family is currently going THRU it #so like.... no one wants to bother anyone #which is soooo obvious. #but what the fuck are we supposed to DO #within 3 weeks we got the following 3 news #my grandma has breast cancer my mum has jaw surgery in 4 days because they discovered a growth #that they cannot pinpoint #and then theres me. with a fucking lump in my breast that needs to be removed before it turns malignant #because fun fact. when this type of lump turns bad it cannot be treated endocrinally anymore or with chemo OR with radiation #so out it go it must #and like i know how lucky i am that it is still benign for now #and that it was caught early and blablabla #but god. honestly. no idea how to handle any of it.