#because disability and chronic pain don't mix with trying to clean all this up

[pastafossa]

This is just going to be me being sad and venting about my day struggling with the fiberglass dust so feel free to scroll by, I won't judge.

I've spent hours trying to vacuum up the fiberglass dust and I feel like I've barely made a dent. I'm throwing out a lot, and a lot of it I could handle, like my old comfy recliner that probably wasn't going to fit the room all that well, or my little fabric end tables.

But some, like the little paper and fur lion puppet my mom got for me when she visited China, were far too fragile to clean with a vaccuum or lint roller or damp rags. Worse, things like that are irreplacable. My mom's retired now; she doesn't travel for business anymore, so there's no getting another puppet with that kind of meaning. That's the kind of stuff I cried over while throwing away.

#pasta life update #i had a very depressing day throwing things away #i cried a lot today #for some reason finding my little beloved daredevil beanie knocked on the floor and covered in dust just broke me #i'm going to try to save it like my shirts but i don't know #losing my little lion puppet hurt #he looked like one of the lions you see during the lion dances around the chinese new year #had little bells so he'd jingle when you moved him #and i hurt so much at the end of the day #because disability and chronic pain don't mix with trying to clean all this up #but unless i can find some cleaning company that'll handle fiberglass i don't have much of a choice #i wish i could curl up in my own bed #at least i accepted this is going to take a while and set up an air matress downstairs #sorry for all the venting #i'm just tired and achy and depressed and needed to spill somewhere

[community-rants]

Discord Moderation & Friends

This is not our usual rants we allow on here. We like it kept to game communities. However we understand the need for privacy and anonymously talking about your issues - admin A

I'm angry at my friends. I'll call them Mix and Maz Mix owns a server on discord, she made me a moderator because I was supposed to set up bots for her. I was fine with that since I knew how to easily use them and it was faster than teaching her.

Maz was her other moderator and supposed to set up the restrictions for roles and ages in the server. Ex: Minors cant access the selfies chat for safety reasons. Maz went and watched kpop videos instead, even with reminders multiple times she refused to do it. Mix didn't want to do any management of her own server so all she did was make it so no one could see any channels and she gave me the work to do cleaning it all up and setting up all the right roles, permissions, etc. I stayed up 6 hours later than when i was supposed to sleep, working on HER server because everyone was complaining and this whole server of 63 people knew I was the one in charge of working on it. Making a 16 hour day turn into a 22 hour one.

Fast forward by 3 weeks. Yesterday she decided to get rid of her current server and make a new one to start all over again, I spent 3 hours making her a thorough guide on how to set up servers because she said she felt bad I had to do it alone last time. Guess who was put in charge of doing EVERYTHING this time. Maz wasn't even asked. Mix told me to do everything so yesterday turned into another 20+ hour day. Because no one else would do it, they'd be mad if I didn't do it. Its not even how long it takes that bothers me its

there is NO thank you

She won't respond to questions on moderation for her server until I've asked them 12+ times over the span of 3 hours because im outright ignored and she gets annoyed and angry that I have to ask questions because im not a mind reader and dont know how SHE wants HER SERVER set up.

They both will always go watching kpop or kdramas. its not even something important distracting them. When i try to teach them while im working they wont pay attention at all. Maz always goes "Oh its my ADHD just understand it" I have it too, but you don't see me refusing to apologise for ignoring someone when they kept reminding me gently over and over again the whole time to help me pay attention and even WROTE A GUIDE OUT, or deliberately constantly distracting someone else and speaking over other people like Maz does.

I was unwell yesterday, I had been in pain all day because im disabled and get chronic pains often randomly out of my control, pains so back I get ill and dizzy with pain and sometimes bed ridden. My legs were in so much pain I had to drag myself to bed at the end of the night, but STILL had to do that for them. Still had to stay up past when I wanted to sleep to do all their work for them

Maz LAUGHED about how frustrated I was and how long it took, she LAUGHED and went "Oh poor you lmao" Mix entirely ignored me and didn't even say goodnight to me bc "hot kpop men" and wouldn't answer a single moderation question and was mad I had to even ask anything.

They think im sensitive for being angry and giving them the cold shoulder today. Am I being ridiculous?

#rant #advice #friendship #discord mod